OLD HABITS DIE HARD: Epilogue

He stared up at the ceiling. Yesterday, he was in the god-awful mental hospital, ironically losing his mind.

“You okay?” Blair raised her head up from Todd’s chest and stared at him.

They finally made it to their destination and the first thing they did was make love. It had been too long. Todd could tell Blair was second guessing herself all the way here but as soon as he could, he proved to her this is where she belonged. They both just abandoned thoughts of anything else and just felt each-others bodies. They were in the middle of nowhere and all they had was each-other. That’s what made the whole thing all the more emotional. They just lay there in silence for the longest time as their bodies cooled. Todd soaked everything in. There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

Todd looked back down at her and softly smiled. “I’m better than okay. I feel like I’m breathing again for the first time in over a year.”

Blair kissed his chest. There was no turning back now. Blair didn’t want to turn back. Everyone else will be telling her what a mistake she’s making but all she knew was that she never felt as safe or as loved as when she was in Todd’s arms. She’ll deal with the scrutiny later. She was right where she needed to be.

“Go to sleep, Todd.” She could tell he was tired. He looked like he hadn’t had a decent sleep in forever.

Todd took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to wake up.” His voice dripping with hurt. It was true. For the past year, this was all he dreamed about. He’d dream about Blair coming to him and them reuniting only for him to wake up and realize it wasn’t reality. The pain he felt every morning when he looked over on his bed and didn’t see her next to him was unbearable. This all felt too good to be true.

Blair moved closer to him and put her lips against his ear. “Close your eyes,” she whispered.

He was tired. He closed his eyes.  “You still feel me?” She put her hand flat against his stomach.

Todd grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart. “Yeah. I feel you.”

Blair kissed his ear. “I’m right here.”

She was here. Just the feel of her in his arms again was enough. He felt himself again. After months and months of hell, he was in heaven again. Only with her.

He finally felt calm.

He finally felt sane.

He finally felt whole.

He wasn’t sure what the next day would bring. He didn’t know where he was going to go or what he was going to do.

But he knew he had her again and that was all that mattered.

Todd closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD Part 4

Todd stayed hidden in that closet for what seemed like forever. He hated confined spaces. He remembered how crazy he got when he got put in solitary confinement at Statesville. However, the floral scent of Blair enveloped him as he was surrounded by her coats and he felt more relaxed. He couldn’t count the number of times when just the smell of Blair’s hair put him at peace. She had that effect on him.

He could barely hear the muffled voices in his position so he pressed his ear firmly against the door to get a better listen.

John was bad-mouthing him. No surprise there. The gall of this guy to think he knew anything about his relationship with Blair. John didn’t know him. John didn’t even know Blair. He just couldn’t keep his big nose out of their business.

Shit! John just told Blair about his part in the baby swap. He could practically heart Blair’s heart breaking. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Mexico. He had thought a lot about it too. It broke his heart to think that Blair was thinking he hadn’t changed. He had! These situations were entirely different. He wanted to barge through the door right now and beg Blair to listen to him. He dealt with so much disappointment in his life. From Viki. From Sam. From Tea. But nothing was more heartbreaking to him more than Blair’s disappointment. She knew him. She knew him better than anybody.

He had to get through to her.

As soon as he heard the door close, he peeked his head out of the closet to make sure John was gone.

Blair was staring into space with her eyes red.

“Let me explain,” she said as he moved toward her.

Blair turned her eyes to him. “You got what you wanted, Todd. Now, just go.”

Blair was about to walk to the living room when Todd stopped her. He grabbed both her arms and pulled her to him.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you listen to me.”

“Fine. Explain.” Blair figured the quicker he “explained” himself, the quicker he would leave. Let’s just get this over with.

“I know what you’re thinking. I know…” It was hard for him to even say. “I know you’re thinking about what I did in Mexico, Blair.”

Blair really didn’t want to talk about this. She just wanted Todd to leave her alone. She tried to pull herself out of Todd’s grasp but he remained firm.

“Listen to me.” He looked her in the eyes. “I am not that person anymore. Blair, I swear… I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Isn’t it always that way, Todd? It’s never really your fault, is it?” She’s rather be anywhere but here. She didn’t want to listen to another one of his excuses.

“You really think I would have willingly done this again?” Todd pleaded with her.

Blair wavered at that. “So what? Heather put a gun to your head?”

“No…” Todd felt backed into a corner. “I just… Blair, I was lost. This whole past year… I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just…”

Blair hated herself for it but she felt for Todd. Again. She reached out and touched his face.

Todd grabbed her hand and held it to his face. He closed his eyes and just took in her touched. She was so soft. So gentle with him. No one was ever as gentle with him as she was. Why would anyone be? He was a monster. He hurt Blair more than he hurt anyone in his life but here she was trying to calm him down. Only she could calm him down…

Todd moved her hand to his lips and softly kissed her fingers.

“Todd…” Blair tingled all over. Those lips…

“I love you.” It just came out. Blair had the ability to make him spit out his feelings even when it wasn’t his strongest quality. He looked her deeply in her eyes and refused to let go of her hand. “Oh God, Blair… I love you so much.”

Blair just looked at him wide-eyed. She loved him too. Deep down, she knew she did but she wasn’t going to say. She wouldn’t dare.

This was his chance. He touched her cheek and pulled her in to kiss her. She didn’t pull back. As soon as he felt her relax against him, he opened his mouth wider and pulled her body tighter against him. He could hear her moaning in his mouth. That was a good sign.

Blair knew she should’ve pushed him away. She was planning to but… he just felt so good. She never could resist a taste. Even last summer when she was engaged to another man. Todd just dove in and she was a goner. Now, here they were, making out in the foyer of Dorian’s. Instinctively, her arms went around his head as their kisses intensified. They never had a problem when it came to this stuff. This was the easy part. It was everything else that was hard.

Speaking of hard…

Blair just felt him start to grow through his pants against her hip. She had to stop this. She pulled back and caught her breath. “This is not happening,” she murmured as she wiped her mouth.

Todd followed Blair into the living room. There was no way he was going to let her run from this.

“Blair…” What was he going to say? Blair was a tactile creature. He had to play it right. One wrong word and he’d be on his ass outside of Dorian’s again. One right word and he’d be back in her arms again. He just said what he was feeling, something he rarely did.

“Run away with me.”

Blair whipped around to him. Of all the things she was expecting him to say, that was not it. “What?”

“Run away with me,” Todd’s confidence infinitely grew with Blair’s reaction. She wasn’t yelling at him. She wasn’t pounding on his chest. She wasn’t throwing him out. She just stood there, waiting for him to explain. “I need to go. Blair, I… I need to go now.”

Blair furrowed her brow and tried to take everything in from the last 2 minutes.

Todd stepped forward and lowered his voice. “I need you. I need you with me.”

“I…” Blair was stunned. “Todd… where?”

Todd couldn’t contain his smile from that. She wanted to go with him!

“Doesn’t matter.” It really didn’t. Todd learned years ago that home was wherever Blair was.

When Blair started to shake her head, Todd grabbed her face with both hands. “I just… I need to figure things out. I need to fix this. I need you to be there with me.”

Blair realized her mouth was dry. “What about the kids?”

“Addie can watch them. Look, it’s not forever. It’s just for enough time for us to figure something out.”

“Us?” Blair said in the slightest hope.

Todd smirked. “It’s always been you and me Blair. You know that.” He said that to her the last time they were together. Really together. And he meant it as much then as he did now. There’s been no one else in his heart. “I can’t do this without you.”

Blair’s heart always betrayed her. Even after John’s warning and months of her own head’s assertions to never let Todd back into her heart, all she wanted to do in this moment was jump into his arms and go. Maybe she was weak. She was weak for him.

“I don’t want to be hurt again.” Her eyes were begging him to say what she wanted to hear even though she wasn’t sure she would believe him.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Blair. Never. I just want you.” Todd walked over to the other side of the living room and opened the patio doors. “I have a car. I have money. I have a jet. We could go 

anywhere, Blair. Just you and me.”

Todd lifted his hand and extended it to Blair. “What do you say?”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD Part 3

John stood outside of LaBoulaie waiting for Blair to answer the door. She was taking a while. Of course Manning would come here. He expected him too which is why this was his first stop in his hurt for the fugitive.

John reached to knock the door again but Blair interrupted him before he could.

“John, what’s going on?” She looked him up and down. “What are you doing here?”

John stuck his hands in his pockets and took in Blair’s demeanor. She seemed to be oblivious. But Blair was a great liar. “Can I come in?”

Blair gestured him inside. “Is something the matter?”

“Yeah, something is the matter. Your ex-husband.”

Blair laughed at that. “Which one?”

“You know which one.” John wasn’t in the mood for small talk, not with Manning on the loose and two steps ahead of him.

“Oh God,” she rolled her eyes. “What did Todd do now?”

“The usual. He fled jurisdiction and I figured this would be the first place to look.”

Blair crossed her arms. “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, John, but I’ve stopped taking in strays.”

“Manning didn’t come here?”

“Nope.”

John was unconvinced. He knew things between Todd and Blair ran deep. He reeled her in not too long ago when he was lying to her about murder Victor and framing Delgado. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Blair was pissed. John had a way of talking down to her that she didn’t appreciate.

“It’s just that Todd has a way of getting to you.”

He was really starting to piss her off. “After what he did to me? You really think I would give him the time of day after everything?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “Come on, Blair. I know how Manning works. He’s done worse to you before and you always take him back.”

Blair erupted at that. “You don’t know anything about Todd and me, John, so don’t pretend that you do.”

Blair was getting defensive. Manning was definitely here. He just had to find him. John started pacing the room looking for hiding spots. “Didn’t mean to strike a nerve. I just meant that he is a master manipulator.”

“I’m through being manipulated.” Blair could hear the hurt in her own voice. She had spent the last decade or so being manipulated by men. Being used by men. Victor. Spencer. Eli. John even used her. Todd was the most heartbreaking. She opened up her heart to him again after everything, thinking that imprisonment humbled him. Made him realize what was important to him. He would never risk losing his family again, she thought. She couldn’t bear another heartbreak. Not from Todd. Those were the worst ones. But he did it again. Her world came crashing down around her. She felt stupid. She felt used. She felt humiliated. Was Todd playing her again? Was she really that easy of a target now? 

“Is that what Todd did here today?” John knew he was getting somewhere. “Did he come here and beg you to help him? Did he tell you he made a mistake but felt he had no other choice? Did he tell you how much he loved his family? Tell me, Blair.”

Blair looked at the ground. The truth was that Todd probably would have said all those things to her if John hadn’t interrupted them. “Todd isn’t here. Not anymore.”

“He was here? When?”

“Just before you got here,” Blair sighed. “He did just what you said. He came here and looked at me and said he needed my help… I guess I fell for it again.”

John walked towards Blair and lowered his voice. “Where is he, Blair?”

“He’s gone.” She shook her head. “When you were knocking, he wanted me to hide him but I couldn’t. He just begged me to stall you as long as I could so he could escape.” She pointed to the patio doors, indicating that’s where he left.

“Oh, Blair…” John sighed in exasperation and turned his head upward, staring at the ceiling. 

“Where’d he go?”

Blair just shrugged. “I don’t know, John, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to know.”

John rubbed Blair’s arm and headed for the door.

“John, wait!”

John turned back around to Blair. “What?”

“Before you go… please tell me. What did Todd do this time?” Todd didn’t get the chance to tell her and she knew John would give her a straight answer. Maybe a harsher version, but Todd surely would have sugar-coated it.

“He helped with that whole baby swap last year.”

That threw her back. “… What?” She knew that crazy woman’s role in Tea’s eventually heartbreak over her son really being dead. But Todd?

“He helped Heather. He had a hand in all of it. Making a mother think her child was dead. Giving it away to a stranger… but this isn’t exactly news to you, is it Blair? I mean it’s certainly not the first time Manning did something this despicable.”

It was like a stab to the heart. Blair couldn’t believe Todd could do that again. Not after Mexico. The most painful day of her entire life and Todd was responsible for it. But after many months, she believed in his sorrow and forgiveness. It was there. Not in the beginning but certainly after being stranded on an island. She saw his guilt. She forgave him. She believed him when he said he would never do that again.

“Oh Todd…” she started to tear up. How could he?

John noticed her heartbreak in her face. In her posture. He felt bad. He knew what she was thinking of. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe he finally got through to Blair about Manning. About how he’s never going to change and how he’ll always end up hurting her. “I’m sorry, Blair.”

“Don’t be.” Blair quickly regained her composure. She hated showing weakness. She hated pity. She wiped away a tear. “Thanks for stopping by, John.” She walked him to the door.

“I care about you, Blair. I hate to see him do this to you over and over again.”

“Don’t worry. It will never happen again.” Blair gave him a weary smile and closed the door.

She stood there with her back against the front door. She took a deep breath, wondering if she had just made a mistake.

Todd quietly emerged from the coat closet and approached Blair.  “Let me explain.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD Part 2

Blair stood there wide-eyed with a hand on her hip, waiting for Todd to make sense.

Todd nervously looked beyond her shoulder to see if there was anyone in the living room. “Are you alone?” The absolute last thing he wanted was to see him there. Last he saw Blair, she went looking for him. What if she found him? Oh God, please don’t be here.

Blair looked back to where Todd was staring at, wondering what he was looking for. Had he forgotten? Todd ran off her fiancé last winter and now he was here, out of the blue, and asks if she’s alone? The nerve!

Blair turned back to him and squared her shoulders. “Oh yeah, I’m alone.” She clenched her fist and punched him in the face. “Thanks to you, asshole!”

Todd was on the ground. He checked to see if he was bleeding and sure enough, his hand showed that blood was coming from his mouth. Damn, his girl still packed quite a punch. He couldn’t help but smile knowing he taught her that. This is the second time she knocked him off his ass with a punch to the face. The first was a case of mistaken identity, Blair was expecting Max. This time, Todd figured he deserves it. Before he could get to his feet, Blair slammed the door shut. There it was. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

Todd started slamming his fist to the door. “Blair! Blair, please, open the door! Blair!”

She locked the door and was relieved when she heard him stop knocking. Then she realized Todd’s not that easy to quit… and that there was another door inside on the other side of the living room.

She ran through the foyer and the living room to get to those glass doors leading out to the patio but Todd narrowly beat her and squeezed his way in.

“Dammit!” Blair slammed the door shut as Todd laughed and caught his breath.

I guess all that football paid off. “You should be quicker on the uptake,” he smirked.

Blair crossed her arms. “I’ll remember that next time.”

Todd looked to the floor. “There won’t be a next time.” He wasn’t sure he believed that but he desperately wanted to. He always found himself in this position. On the wrong side of the law. Trying to win back people’s trust. He just wanted to disappear now.

Blair noticed Todd’s somber mood. She couldn’t help but feel for him. She never could. No matter how much hurt, betrayal, anger he arose in her, they were still connected. She took a step towards him. “Todd…”

Todd noted Blair’s change of attitude. Five minutes ago, she looked at him like he was the last person in the world she wanted to see. Now, her eyes were searching into his soul. He never felt as bare, as exposed as when she was looking at him like that. He stepped forward so they were only standing mere inches apart. “Are you alone here?” His voice was soft.

“Yes.” Blair knew he was serious. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

Todd realized Blair was no longer wearing that pitiful excuse of an engagement ring. Finally! Tomas was finally no mas. Not the time to gloat about it now. “The kids?” He found it strange that Blair would be in the house all by herself.

“Sam’s on a school trip. Jack and a few of his friends went up to Viki’s cabin for the week.” She 

noticed Todd take a sigh of relief at that. “What’s going on?”

Todd looked into Blair’s eyes. Her big, green eyes. Those eyes that have destroyed him. Those eyes that have saved him. Sometimes filled with rage. Sometimes filled with love. This time, he saw concern. For him! After everything he had done…

He was staring at her. Damn. She knew how well he could read her… but she couldn’t look away. His eyes locked on hers and she couldn’t escape. He had such gorgeous eyes. They were almost gold. 

They would change color depending on his mood. When he was lustful they would turn a feral black. They’d also turn black in his anger. When he was vulnerable, they would brighten a few shades. Last year just before they had made love, his eyes were so bright. She stopped him from moving too fast, much like their first time together. She held his face in her hands and he looked up at her as he saw on the bed. His face was so vulnerable then, almost like a child begging to be lifted of all the lies that were torturing him. She knew something was wrong then. He had the same face now. Something was very wrong.

Oh God. She felt a pit in her stomach. “Is Starr okay?” She couldn’t bear the thought…

Todd was quick to assure her. “Oh, Blair, no, it’s not that. Starr’s fine.” Todd knew that wasn’t completely true. Starr was very hurt when she found out he lied to her about Cole and Hope. Still, he could explain that later. Right now, he just wanted to calm Blair’s nerves about their first-born.

Thank God. So if it wasn’t Starr, what was Todd doing here? And why was he so nervous? “Todd, what’s going on?”

Todd took another deep breath to prepare to tell Blair everything. Here goes nothing.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Shit.

They both turned to the sound at the door.

“Blair, it’s John! Open up, this is an emergency!” He continued to knock at the door.

John was quickly becoming Todd’s least favorite person in the world. And that’s saying something. 

The fact that John married Blair didn’t help with his opinion of the guy. John and his sanctimonious attitude. He’d much rather deal with the likes of Bo Buchanan or John Sykes. John’s fixation on trying to protect Blair from him was beyond irritating. Didn’t he get it? Blair was no damsel. She didn’t need saving. And certainly not from him.

Blair slowly turned back to Todd. “What have you done now?”

His silence was deafening.

Blair went to go answer the door when Todd grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to him. “I can explain everything. But first, I need you to help me.”

Blair looked back to the door and back again at Todd. His eyes were pleading with her. “Please.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD Part 1

Part I

Thoughts of the past year haunted him as he drove down these familiar streets. He thought it was these streets alone he hated. He fled this town last year because he couldn’t stand the way everyone looked at him. But only in one year, he managed to have the same impact on another place. He hated that place too. Everyone looked at him with disgust. He realized it wasn’t just Llanview. It was him. He caused destruction wherever he went. But at least Llanview was home to the people he loved. He had a lot of bad memories here but he also had the happiest moments of his life in this place.

Meeting a certain blonde vixen at a local dive bar and becoming her friend.  Starting up his own newspaper from the ground up. Now it was the go-to paper in town.  Eventually marrying said vixen at a local church where he made gold balloons fall from the ceiling.  Holding his daughter for the first time while hiding in his sister’s attic.  The other place didn’t have any of that stuff. In fact, he couldn’t think of a single good memory he had there. He lied to his daughter. His son disowned him. His wife rejected him. It was hell. Ever since that goddamn cop burst through the door and ruined one of the happiest moments of his life.

He was thinking of a song to sing to her. He didn’t know many songs though... and it was hard to think of anything when her hand was busy stroking him over the sweat-stained sheets they lay in. He would have crawled across cut glass to continue the sexual paradise he was in. She never disappointed him in their reunion sex. Even after 8 years of thinking, dreaming of this very moment, she always managed to exceed his expectations. That was his Blair though. He wanted her deep down in his bones.

She was amazing. They had already had two incredible round of reunion sex. The first was a quick and frenzies session. He ripped her blouse off. Hands everywhere at once. Heavy breathing. It had been nine long years since he had last touched her like this. Then, she had forgiven him for Jack. Now, she had finally let him back into her life. Back into her bed after months of flirting. They both were overcome with emotion and anticipation. Her body was hot to the touch and she embodied a pinkish glow about her. He smiled as he looked down at her body. Nine years. Still as tempting. Still as perfect as she always was. She is so beautiful. The effect she had on him. The sensation of being with her again, being in her, got him so hot and bothered. His whole body broke out in a sweat. The feel of her…

Afterwards, they just lay catching their breaths. Her head nestled on his chest like they always did after making love. His hand in her hair. So soft. Their bodies cooled off as they engaged in some playful pillow talk. He asked her to sing to him. God, how much he missed her voice… He ached to touch and taste the parts of Blair that he excluded during their previous union due to Todd’s initial need to be with her after an excessively long bought of celibacy. No longer. Their second round of love making was slow and sensuous, almost painfully so. They reacquainted themselves with every inch of each-other’s bodies. Their declarations of love that preceded it encouraged them to spoil the other with their proof of physical adoration. As he went down on her, Blair moaned and panted, driving Todd to the edge. He made her sing alright.

They lay there together – happy, satisfied, smiling. This was supposed to be the beginning of a whole new chapter for them. He was already planning on moving his stuff from Viki’s and picturing what Blair’s next engagement ring would look like. It was going to be the biggest one yet. This one was for keeps.

He and his wife, together at last. He would finally have it all.

How wrong he was…

John arrested him. Not just in any moment. In their afterglow! They forced him out of their bed in handcuffs as he tried to gauge Blair’s reaction. She just stared into space as they removed him from the room.

He went to prison. In his cell, he waited for Blair to visit him so he could explain himself. She never came.

After he made bail, he went to see her but she refused to open the door.

He saw her in that godforsaken city. She told him that their grandchild had died but recoiled when he tried to comfort her.

He saw her in court. She was with him but he could still see the love in her eyes for him. It was under a lot of hurt, but it was still there.

Still, he couldn’t stand the sight of them together. It broke his heart. She knew it too and used that. I guess he deserved it.

He had to get away. But he couldn’t.

She was always there. In his thoughts. In his dreams. He ached for her. He thought he was starting a new life but it was a life not worth living. Not without her. It was harder to breathe. It was harder to sleep. Music didn’t sound as good. Food didn’t taste as good. He’d forgotten to smile. He’d forgotten who he was.

Who was he without her?

He clung on to his daughter – the last bit of his family he had left but even that ended up in smoke. He lied to her. He betrayed her. He hurt her. Something he vowed he would never do. But he saw the disappointment in her eyes. He knew it too well. Her mother had looked at him with those same eyes so many times before.

Maybe he just couldn’t help himself.

The truth was out now. He helped someone do a despicable thing. He knew it was despicable because he had done it before himself. Telling a mother her baby was dead. He played part in another one. He was arrested again. He hated prison. He was desperate. He claimed insanity but that proved too much too. He broke out and now he was on the run again. There was nothing left in that place for him anymore. He was being chased though. He knew it. That cop never could leave him alone. The same man who wrecked his life around this time last year.

He made his way up to the door and knocked. His heart pounding in his chest.

He didn’t know what drove him here – his heart or his head. She’d probably slam the door in his face… but still, deepest down, he knew this was the only place he could go because when push came to shove, there was only one person he could rely on. The one person in the world who truly knew him.

She opened the door.  “What the hell do you want?”

He took a deep breath. “Blair… I need your help.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.