The Way Back: Chapter 6

Both of them pulled back a bit when they heard Viki come back to the terrace doors. "Are you two all right? My goodness, it's been such a hard time for you already today and I'm afraid it's not much beyond morning."

They walked arm in arm through the french doors and back into the library. Blair was still sniffling, and Todd inconspicuously wiped his eyes. "We're trying to get through some things. It's been a long time apart, and there's so much that has passed between us." Blair said, looking at him lovingly. Viki noticed how connected they were; even after all that had gone on, it was as if they were never apart.

"We've got to face it. We have issues. Before I disappeared, Blair had asked me to leave her life and never return. How about it Blair?" He asked, turning to her. "Can you give me a chance? I want to be able to put you and the kids first in my life, for good this time."

"Todd, you've been through enough, and so has Blair. Why don't you two let things progress naturally and take it a bit slower." Viki said. "In fact, I am going to make a suggestion."

Blair responded, "I think we'd be open to any help we can get. It's so much. So many things...." her voice trailed off as she turned to him, looking into his eyes. She was still crying. In fact, every time she looked at him, she felt the tears come. This is the man I have always loved. I know it, as clear as I am sitting here. But he has brought me more hurt than anyone ever has. I'm scared...

Her thoughts were interrupted by Viki's voice repeating a question. "Blair? What do you think?"

"I'm sorry. What do I think of what, Viki? I was lost for a moment in my thoughts." She felt Todd's hand tighten around hers, and she felt even worse. The guilt was overwhelming. Here he was comforting her, and he had been through a living hell for eight years of his life - because of her selfishness.

"That the two of you go up to my cabin for a few days. Talk things over. You'll have quiet, and no interruptions. Perhaps you can work through some of this. When you come back, I'll be right here if you need me to help with talking to the children."

"What do you say, Blair?" Todd looked at her, hopeful. "It's not a bad idea."

"I'm willing. Yes, I think it's a good idea. It has to be done, and we'll be able to focus on it and get ourselves ready for the next hurdle. But first, " she said, grabbing her purse, "I have something important to take care of. Viki, I thank you so much for the cabin, for the breakfast and for the chance to start healing from all of this. Todd, I'll meet you at the cabin in about 2 hours, is that all right?"

"Uh Blair?" he said, calmly from the sofa.

"Yes?"

"I don't have a car, remember?"

Viki chuckled and said, "That's all right Todd, I'll have my driver bring you. That way, you all only have one car to deal with on the way back."

"Okay then," he said, "it's a date. I'll see you in 2 hours or so. Don't be late, I might get scared in the woods alone, you know, a city boy and everything..." Then, he looked at his hands, "but really, I don't like being alone too much anymore, especially somewhere isolated..."

Blair changed her direction and headed back into the library. "All right, no problem, let's change the plan. Let me get my things together, do what I have to do, and come back and get you in about ninety minutes? Is that better?" She folded her arms and got that annoyed wife look again, the one he just loved. He was pondering which look of hers he did not love when she repeated herself, "Huh, is that better?"

"Yeah, Blair, that's fine. Thanks. I'll be ready." And she was off. In the silence of her exit, Todd looked at his sister. "Can I have a sandwich?"

Blair drove directly to La Boulaie to gather belongings for the trip. She planned to have Starr stay with Addie and the kids while she was gone. It would only be a few days. She threw some garments into a bag and got herself together. At the bottom of the staircase, when she was headed for the door, Starr raced in to catch her. "Mom, I got your message. Where are you going? This is too much. Is that guy Dad? What is going on?"

"Starr, I have to ask you to be patient with me about this. Really. I have a few things to sort out. Please understand. As soon as I get back, I will definitely answer all of your questions." She was harried and flustered, and turned back to the door.

"Mom, stop! Please?" Starr was in tears. "Please mom, is he....is that man really Dad?"

Blair took her daughter in her arms for a hug. "Oh Starr, I'm sorry. I should have realized what this would do to you. What do you think, sweetie? Do you think he's your Dad?"

Starr wrung her hands. "I know that, well, the man who's been Dad, I've thought he was my father for the last eight years, Mom. But now....I'm not sure anymore. The other night, Mom, he kissed you. He had the scar. He looked like Dad, he acted like Dad. Mom, he even smelled like Dad. But it's so hard to believe...where was he?"

The conversation had gone exactly where Blair feared it would. She was not ready to tell Starr about Todd's experiences yet. She knew she didn't even know the half of them. "I don't know much, Starr. I promise to tell you more when I find out."

"Mom! Is he Dad?" Starr yelled.

Blair, patted her daughter's cheek. "Yes sweetie, I think he is your Dad. But I promise to find out for sure and come back with more information. Please just give this a day or two before doing anything?"

"You mean before talking to....Mom what is his name? Do I call him Dad anymore? I can't take this!"

At that moment, Blair realized that it was going to be difficult for the kids while she and Todd were gone. They would be approached, no doubt, by The Impostor. What if he were dangerous? Blair sat on the bottom step and thought for a few moments. Then she made a phone call.

"Momma? Can you come down here, please?" she called up the staircase.

Addie came to the landing with Hope and Little Sam in tow. "How would you all like a vacation?"

Sam blurted out, "A vacation! COOL! Yay!"

Starr put her hands on her hips. Clearly, she was not as happy as her little brother.

Addie spoke up, "Oh this is wonderful. Thanks, Blair, we'll have a wonderful time."

"Momma, pack some suitcases and get the kids ready. You all won't mind a week in Disneyworld will you?"

Jack was ambling down the steps; his face was teenage angst. "I'll mind."

"Lots of girls!" Addie reminded him.

"It will be great, come on Jack, please?" Sam pleaded.

He just shrugged.

Blair said, "it's all settled then. You're off. I made the plane reservations already. Get packed, I'll be back to bring you all to the airport in about 30 minutes, okay?" And she flitted out the door.

The kids cheered and Addie ushered them up the stairs. Jack lagged behind to speak to Starr. "She wants us away from here for some reason."

"Yes."

"The guy who says he's our father and has been our father for the last eight years is probably an Impostor. He's probably a danger to us or something. I should have known by the way he's been acting, especially toward me."

Starr looked at her brother in disbelief. "What? What do you mean, Jack?"

Her brother pulled back a bit and harnessed his emotion. "Nothin'. Maybe later, all I know is, that guy that showed up last night at the premier? He's probably our real father." And he walked the staircase as she watched him go.

Blair pulled her car in front of The Manning Mansion, and sat behind the wheel for a moment. She was hoping and praying that "Todd" was not home. To her relief, she spied their car missing from the carport, and remembered Tea mentioning an evening out. "How can they still go out and about with all of this?" she asked herself. She got out of the car and rang the bell. Within a few moments, Tomas appeared at the door.

"Hi Blair, how are you doing after last night...."

"What do you know about this?" she pushed her way past him. "I know you know more than you are saying, and you are going to fill me in right now."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh really, are you really going to do this, Tomas? After all I supposedly meant to you? You're going to stand there and lie and lie and lie?"

Tomas folded his arms. "What do you want to know?" His voice had gone cold.

"Who is the man who is married to Tea, who is Sam's father, who is living in this house with Todd Manning's fortune?"

"I don't know for certain."

"You don't? How long have you known, Tomas, that my children might be in danger?"

"I don't think they are in danger."

"The hell they aren't. He's not Todd Manning, is he? You said, 'this man is not Todd Manning' right before Todd appeared last night. What did that mean?"

Tomas sat down and buried his head in his hands. Then he looked up. In her beauty, she was fiery and determined. This was how she looked when she was passionate about someone. And she clearly was passionate about this man, Todd Manning. "It meant I had reason to believe he was not who he said he was."

"When did you plan on telling everyone?"

"I was telling you all then. Then Manning appeared. At least I think he's Todd Manning. We truthfully don't have proof either way at this point. But if we are to believe that man that came into the premier last night, then we have to assume that my sister's husband is not Todd, right?"

"What about Todd? What do you know about his disappearance? Did you know he was alive?"

"Blair..."

"Did you know he was alive?" she screamed. Her fists were tight and her knuckles were white.

"Yes. Yes, I did."

She sank to the chair across from him. Sobbing into her hand, she looked back up. "All those speeches about breaking a cycle. All of that. Just to have me for yourself?"

"I wasn't really sure he was still alive. I thought he may have died, but when I saw him, I knew. But yes, that's the truth. I am glad it is out. I knew there was a chance he was alive from the moment I met you."

She cried. And when she finished, she looked up with the bitterness of the abused unwanted pariah that first came to town. "How did you know? HOW did you KNOW he might still be alive?"

Tomas looked at her. He knew he needed to look at her long, because he may not see her again after this discussion. "Eight years ago, I was a hired assassin. And my superior ordered me to find and bring in who he claimed to be a known terrorist. That man was Todd Manning."

Blair was in such shock her hands began to shake. "Terrorist? Todd? No, that's not true."

"I know it's not. At least I know that now. But, I didn't know that then. So I followed orders."

"Where did you take him from?" she held her breath.

"I took him from Victor's crypt. I was ordered to get him and bring him to my superiors. When I got to the crypt, the lid was just being lowered over him. When I lifted the top off, he was unconscious and bloodied. He was in the crypt with Victor his father, and his hands and fingers were bloody from picking the ropes off and trying to pry the lid off. His feet were tied, but he had broken his ankle from trying to kick his way out of the tomb. He was suffocating. I took him out of the tomb, and lay him on the ground. The photo of your wedding was gripped in one hand. That is how I got it, to make the painting that brought you to me originally."

"Don't stop now. Go on."

"I delivered him to my superiors and then was sent on more assignments. I never found out what happened to him after that."

She gathered her things. "Thank you for this information."

"Blair, wait, I thought I was helping my country and doing something positive. I had no idea..."

"Stop it. You knew he was alive when you delivered him. You knew he might be alive when you met me. You've lied every single day you've known me. He could have died. He lost eight years with my children, he was tortured, and he's damaged. Hell, he's more damaged now than he was when I knew him. I will never forgive you for this." She slammed out of the house, leaving him behind.

In the car, she paused at the wheel but told herself not to give in to the sobs that were attempting to wrack her body. Instead, she looked into the mirror. "Blair Cramer, you have to keep it together. You've been through enough to know that you can handle this. That man back at Llanfair needs you and you've got to be there for him. He's been alone long enough."

Tweet

The Way Back: Chapter 5

After the hug subsided, Viki got up and crossed to the doors, where she approached the bar for a moment. Pouring a glass of water, she turned to them and drank some. "Todd, Blair, is there something I can get for either of you?" Swallowing, "It's been quite a morning. Have you eaten? Either of you?" When she got nothing but silence, she said, "Let's go into the kitchen then and have some breakfast. You both are going to require a great deal of strength for the next few days and what is to come." She noticed them still holding hands on the sofa. "Blair, you're going to have to be very strong. Your children are going to need support dealing with all of this. And so is Todd. Or better yet, you two stay here a bit, and I'll go organize a nice meal for us. We can eat it outside there on the terrace."

"Don't go to too much trouble, Sis. You know I don't like anything too fancy."

Viki approached him on her way out the door. Standing above him, she reached down and lifted his chin. Somehow, she'd always seen him more like one of her sons than her brother. His eyes, green-brown and glittering with moisture, focused on hers. "Don't worry. You're my brother, and you're very much worth it." He lowered his head as she left the room, as if studying his hands.

Blair turned to look at him. Her mind was still whirling with thoughts and questions as she soaked him in. He raised his eyes from his hands to her face, and she smiled. That smile. That was the smile that he memorized and kept with him every day. That was the smile of his wife. "Blair?"

"I know. I know." Her hand found his cheek, the side where the scar was, as always. He placed his hand over it. "We have a lot to do, and a lot of time to do it in."

"The kids. Starr. Jack." His face was tied up with emotion and she shushed it away.

"It's ok. Let's give it time and talk it out. Viki will help us, it will be all right."

"What if they don't believe me? What if they think..." He got up and began pacing. "What if they think he's really me? They already did before I escaped." He stopped and turned to her. "You thought he was."

Before Blair had a chance to answer, Viki walked in through the doors. "Todd, will you help?" He walked to her to take a large tray of fruit, pastry and coffee and bring it to the terrace. Viki tossed a look to Blair. "My dear, what's wrong Blair? You look, well, greenish, are you all right?"

Blair lowered her head into her hands and began to cry. Viki, realizing her sister-in-law needed to talk, called to Todd to start without them, they had some women talk to engage in for a moment. She sat beside her. "Blair, what is it?"

"He's been through...I don't know how I'll do this, or make it up to him. I believed he was my husband, Viki. I believed it. I believed that man that is Sam's father was my husband. What was wrong with me to do that, to fall for that? All those years Todd was hurt, captive. He could have been freed if I did not give up looking. How could I believe this man calling himself Todd Manning was my Todd?"

Viki put an arm around her shoulders. "Blair, it's going to be very difficult. But right now, you have to be there for him and do what you can to support him. This is a lot for us, imagine what it must be like for him. All these people, moving forward, and he is still behind us by eight years."

Blair composed herself, knowing Viki was right. Above all, Todd was going to need her. The two women walked onto the terrace arm in arm.

Viki said, "Well, Blair, I'm afraid there is not much left of the pastry, but coffee?"

"Growing boy, Sis. Besides, that jail food wasn't so hot. The last thing I ate was a bowl of macaroni and cheese at McBain's." He began to relate to them his time in McBain's apartment, complete with tales of Roxy, hiding in closets and conversations with the enigmatic lieutenant. Soon, all were comfortably laughing and chattering. A customary lull in the conversation ensued, and Viki broke the silence.

"Well, Todd, what's the plan? Are you feeling up to seeing the children soon?" Viki asked. Blair, still swimming in surprise, and overwhelming feelings, sipped her coffee and looked on.

"I don't know. I did already see them. My son, he doesn't even know me. How could he? And Starr, she's a grown woman, just about. She probably can make up her own mind."

"She'll feel guilty when she accepts it's really you." Blair blurted. "I know she will. She was the one...she was the first one to believe he was you."

Viki added, "Yes. And helped convince us all. That's going to be difficult for her."

Todd was giving Blair a look she recognized. He picked up his coffee cup and drank some, looking at her over its edge. There was a mix of suspicion and doubt in his eyes. Viki immediately caught it, and said, "Well, there's a very large spotted elephant in the room, we may as well welcome it. And before you, my dear brother, say something you may just regret, you should know the truth. Blair was the very last person to believe that man posing as my brother was you. The very last. And, she searched for you, tirelessly. I was with her when she went into the crypt."

At this, both Blair and Viki jumped when Todd dropped the coffee cup and it shattered, splattering hot coffee over his chest. "Oh my! Todd, are you all right?"

But he was up from the table, his back to them, facing the hedges. He buried his hands into his pockets, and breathed deeply, shutting his eyes.

Viki and Blair looked at each other, as Blair sopped up as much of the coffee as she could. "Don't fuss, Blair. Besides, that needs more primping than this table does." She nodded toward Todd. Viki began to pick up the shards of the cup, and bring the tray into the kitchen. Blair turned to Todd, whose back was still toward her. His shoulders looked tight, as if raised. She walked over to him and gently put her hand on him, being careful to accept whatever response she got. Surprisingly to her, he did not pull away or flinch at her touch. In fact, she felt the opposite; his shoulders lowered, his posture collapsed a bit; his head tipped back a little. She put both hands on his shoulders and began to massage them, gently. He didn't resist.

She wondered if and when she should speak, and then decided it was better for the moment not to. She continued to give her traditional massage. Her mind drifted back to times when she had given him the same type of shoulder rub. It was usually when he had been working long hours at The Sun, his long, glistening hair in the way so she would have to move it. Back when they were on top of the world with each other so long ago. Back when they were all there was. She moved closer and hugged him from the back, putting her arms around his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder from the back. And she waited, taking in the scent of him, which was eerily the same. How could she have ever not known?

He didn't turn to her, but also didn't push her off or move away from her. He was more accepting of her presence than she remembered. His hand moved to the top of her head and he cradled and stroked it in response to her gestures. She held on, and told herself to do so until he told her to let go. She felt sure that this would somehow make him understand that she was with him, no matter what.

After quite a while this way, he finally spoke. "I feel a wet spot on my shoulder back there. You're either asleep and drooling or..." his voice softened and he turned to her, now taking her hands, "you're crying."

"Yes, I'm crying."

"Good, no comments about your eyes sweating."

"No, no comments about that. Oh Todd!" She cried out, and flung herself at him. As much as she tried to keep from overdoing it, she just couldn't contain it. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you."

He closed his eyes, hand in her hair at the back of her head, and his other around her waist, pulling her closer. In response, his own tears came. "That is not your fault, Blair," he managed to get out.

"Isn't it? I should have known better."

To this, he could not respond. A large part of him still wondered how she could give up, how she could accept this Impostor as him, how she could move on without him. He barely could without her - but still, her image and her voice in his mind had kept him living. He couldn't lose that, even though his anger sometimes blinded him.

"I just couldn't accept you were gone. I went everywhere, I did everything in my power to find you, what happened to you. I couldn't let go." She sobbed. Pulling back from him, she looked into his face. "You have been the only man I have ever really loved. You have been the one who ever really loved and accepted me for who I am. And I couldn't live without that. I just couldn't." She felt him hold her hands tighter. She continued, "I couldn't sleep, I was so alone. I had gone through it before, with Ireland. It was unbearable. I didn't think I'd live through it, but I had Starr." She broke down again, "and she was your little girl. As much as you and I loved each other, Starr was devastated without you. To see a little child that way, my daughter that way. It was..."

She pulled herself together and took a deep breath. "Then, we met Walker."

"Who's Walker?" he heard himself say, but he was not going to interrupt her. He needed to hear what she was saying. He needed to understand.

"He was the man who, over time, convinced your daughter that he was you." She turned her back and began to pace a bit; he followed her with his eyes, listening. "He knew things..." her voice cracked. "And now I know how he probably knew them." She turned back to him, and running on the tips of her toes, she fell into his arms again, sobbing. "I'm so sorry they hurt you."

Pushing his own sobs away, he knew this was a moment that he had to be strong for his wife. He knew this, even though he still could not understand all of it. His emotions and anger were going to need time to quell, but he also knew right then that she never meant to forget him. She meant to keep him alive, somehow. She wanted him alive. She wanted him. Again, after everything, after the years and the tears, and the amazing story they had created together; as always, she wanted and loved him. He closed his eyes and imagined her under him, her hair against a white satin pillow, her tears flowing onto her cheeks, and his hands buried in her hair, his lips kissing her mouth and neck...

Then, to his own hands around the neck of the Impostor, instead. He blinked the image away and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. He heard himself say, in an airy voice, "It's okay, Blair, I'm back now. It's all right. I'll make everything right."

Tweet

The Way Back: Chapter 4

The kiss lingered for both of them until the bars seemed to vanish. Either that, or they didn't matter anymore to either of them. When they separated mouths, the rested their foreheads on each others. "I missed you. Just sayin'," he said.

She smiled, still crying. "Me too." She grabbed her purse off the ground and turned to go.

"Blair?"

"I'm getting you out of here. You're going home. Not another night in this place." She stopped and looked back. "Not another minute locked up. It's been enough already."

He couldn't help himself. His tears were running. "You believe me."

"Yes. I do."

"Blair?"

"Yes, Todd." Her voice was all air, soothing.

"Did you know? Right away, I mean."

She walked back to the bars. Reaching through, she stroked his scar and tugged his ear. "Yes, I knew. I am not sure I wanted to accept it, but I knew."

"When?"

"When I first saw your face and got closer and looked into your eyes. That was really all it took. I knew you were home." She trailed off, tearful.

He smiled in spite of his tears. "Okay. I wondered what it took. I'm glad you knew."

"I'll be right back. I have to arrange this bail hearing and get you out of here."

"Where to?"

"Our first stop: Viki. I think she'll know how to help you get your life back."

And with that, she went off through the double doors and back into reality. He, however, felt like he might be ensconced in fantasy; some self-imagined world that he created for himself to ease the pain and loneliness he'd suffered for so long. So, he waited to see her again, and then he'd know for certain it was real.

While waiting, he reviewed the last few days. He'd seen and touched his daughter. He'd met his son. He'd kissed the woman he loves, not once, but twice. He'd watched how Tea and The Impostor related to each other. He'd noticed Tomas acting rather jealous, and learned what kind of man McBain really was. All in all, an eventful few days, culminating in an all-night go fish marathon with a police lieutenant who made Keanu Reeves seem jovial and animated. He raised his hand to his face and traced where her fingers had been. Soon he would be taking back all that was his, and he wanted so much to share that with his children and his wife.

Being in the car with Blair driving was an experience. He seemed to have to hold on to the wardrobe bar every time she turned a corner. "I knew you were a horrible driver. Why in the world did I agree to this?"

"Oh hush, I got you out, didn't I?"

"You got me there. What are you going to tell Viki? She doesn't even know I am alive, let alone that I am around?"

"Me? Todd! What do you mean, me?" She screeched the car to a halt at the red light looming.

"Well, you are the one who got me out. You are the one who came to see me today. You are the one who kissed me."

"Wait a minute, you actually kissed me, twice now since you'e been back."

"Let's not start this again. Really."

"Well..." the light changed and she floored it, sending him reeling back against the seat. "You kissed me, Mister. Just remember that."

"I guess. But, you kissed back."

"Yeah, I may have." Another red light. She turned to reprimand him further and his lips were on hers again. She pulled back.

"No bars this time. What are you going to do about that?"

"I'm...I'm just adjusting, that's all. It's very fast."

He thought about her words. She was asking for space. In the past, he never would have thought about obliging. But now, since he had waited all that time, he was all right with just looking at her. But, he was definitely going to have fun with it. "Ok, no problem. We can slow it down, then."

She turned quickly. "Really? You mean it?"

"Sure," he grinned, and folded his arms over his chest. "No more kissing, I promise."

He saw her flush from the neck up, her chest bright pink against the white of her scoop neck t-shirt. "Ok." She hesitated. "No more."

"Ok back to Viki. I don't think her Davidson heart can take the shock."

"To-od! That's cruel."


"Well I don't want to shock her to death. How cruel would that be?"

She parked the car in the driveway of Llanfair. "I'll go in first. Stay here."

"Blair?"

"Yes?"

"Where would I be going?"

She was flustered, and he loved it. "Never mind, I'll be right back." And she flounced off, her cotton print skirt fluttering behind her.

Llanfair. He'd been there recently, watched his sister through the french doors, and had a meltdown in her library. It was that darn picture of The Impostor. What was Viki thinking? He couldn't do much but wait for Blair's signal, and as he waited, he put his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. A calm sense of peace had come over him the moment he walked through the cell door and followed Blair to her car. Now, he could just sit there, soak up the sun through the sunroof, and drift in his mind to the future, Blair, Jack, Starr, The Sun, and everything he had once loved, and still very much did.

A knock at the window alerted him. "Come on. I softened the blow."

Todd grimaced. "What did you say?" He got out of the car and still had his arms folded.

"I told her that you were alive, and that I knew where you were. Then I left the room and came out here to get you."

"Not sure that will work, but we'll try."

The main doors to Llanfair were always a place he felt like an outsider. From the first time he had entered them, years back when he was attempting to find out who he was, to today, he felt the very same pangs of uncertainty, wonder and pain. They entered the lobby, and crossed to the library doors. Viki opened them before they even got a chance to enter. She gasped, "Oh my God!" and her hand went to her mouth. "It can't be."

"It is. Hi, Sis. I know it's been a while."

She stared, dumbfounded, and her mouth was hanging open in a rather peculiar twist. "My goodness, I was just not ready for this, at all." She walked into the library and sank into a chair. "Please, sit down, both of you. Where have you been?"

He smiled in spite of the situation. Where have you been? The same question Blair had asked. She knows, too. Todd started to explain his whereabouts for the previous 8 years. At times, both Viki and Blair were in tears, listening to his ordeal. Finally, he came to a halt and Viki spoke. "Are you all right? It must have been terrible for you."

He swallowed. "I could use a hug."

She half-smiled. "My brother doesn't like hugs."

"Well, for the last eight years, the only time your brother was touched was to be tortured." With that, Viki got up from her chair and sat next to him, taking him in her arms. Blair watched with tears stinging. He let out a long sigh over Viki's shoulder, and caught Blair's teary eye, and reached for her hand, which she took and held behind Viki's back.

The Way Back: Chapter 3

John took the pack of cards out of his pocket, and pulled up a chair. He also placed a stool between them as the table. "Well? Which will it be?"

Todd almost could not find words. Then he half-smiled. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. Not the kidding kind, really. I just figured, if I stayed here for a while, you wouldn't be able to get any ideas about leaving without permission."

"How would I do that? There are bars right there....sure, I didn't eat all that well in the torture chamber, but I can't fit through."

"From what I hear, you've been known to find ways. Now, what'll it be?" He shuffled.

"What if I asked for a different game?"

"Like?"

"Like you ask me a question, I answer it, and then I ask you one about my kids/Blair while I was gone, and you answer that."

McBain stopped a moment, holding the cards still. "That's not a bad game. In fact, I'm fine with that, if that is what you want. I'm not a talker really, but I guess this could work."

"I know some things I am certain you want to know."

"And I know things you probably don't want to know."

"Probably."

"This actually won't be half bad. What should I call you?"

Todd fastened his eyes on John's. "You have to ask? I'm Todd Manning. Always have been, since I was a child. Since soon after I was born, probably."

"Probably."

"I was adopted, Victor Lord gave me away. He took me from my mother, Irene, and gave me to Peter and Bitsy Manning. Big mistake, maybe. Victor was just as bad, I guess."

"You didn't like your adoptive family?"

"Let's just say Peter Manning had his own brand of torture. It is not really something foreign to me. I've been through it in so many ways throughout my life."

John was not sure what to make of this man in front of him. "Do you know anything about what happened when you were gone?"

"Yes. I read up on The Impostor when I was hiding out in town. He's screwed up, even for me."

McBain smiled. A rarity, but happened. "You could say that."

"You're not telling me anything, really. I've been doing all the talking. You don't want to give me any ammunition about my identity? You think I'll use it to convince everyone I'm who I say I am."

"Possible."

"Well then, deal. I choose Go Fish. Just one question?"

"Maybe, let me see what I can do." He dealt.

"All right. Did he love them? I mean, did he love my kids, did he treat Blair like she deserves?"

"I think he loves those kids. In his own way. As for Blair, I never was sure. I don't know if she was either."

"That's ok, really."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm back." John and Todd both picked up their cards like fans and studied them. "Just how long do you plan to stay here and play go fish?"

"As long as you can take losing."

***

In the morning, Blair dressed and got herself going early. After feeding the boys breakfast, she called Starr, letting her know her plans. "I'm going to the jail to see....him."


"Mom, do you think he's....is he Dad?"

Blair was careful about her answer. She did not want to toss Starr totally into a whirlwind. "I don't know." But Blair lied. Something in the pit of her stomach was crying out for her to believe. And, a bellowing voice in her head warned her not to hope or even think it. "I have to find out. I'm going there."

"Mom, be careful. Should I go with you?"

Blair was too quick to answer. "No. No, honey, I've got this. John will be there, probably Bo and others. I am all right."

"Are you sure? It's got to be...well, all I can say is...Mom, the way he kissed you."

Blair tried to put it out of her mind. "Listen, honey, I have to go.  I will talk to you when I get back, ok?"

"All right."

The conversation ended and Blair grabbed her purse. Telling Jack she would be back in a bit, she left her house behind and headed to the police department. On her drive, she felt herself on autopilot and faded into thought. She reviewed the last day's events and reran the meeting over in her mind's eye. His eyes. She was almost positive...no. He could be fooling her. He could be a dangerous plant, or some kind of assassin, come to kill Todd. Then her mind went to how strangely she had noticed Todd acting in recent times. No, I mustn't go there. I mustn't. There's a perfectly good explanation for this. But she could not ignore the nervous feeling in her bones, and how her body felt when she remembered the kiss. She'd find out. She'd know. Or maybe, she'd just accept the truth she was fighting. Either way, she was in front of the LPD and ready to go in.

Bo was clearing a patch on his desk in which to place his coffee when Blair pushed her way in his office. "All right, Bo Buchanan, fill me in on whatever you know about this."

Bo feigned stupidity. "What do you mean, Blair? And good morning."

Blair unfolded her arms. "Good morning." She sat in the chair opposite his and he followed suit. "Sorry about that but, the guy you've got in jail down there happens to claim to be my husband!"

Bo sipped his coffee. "I thought you were divorced?"

Blair was noticeably flustered. "Well, we are, you know what I mean! He says he's Todd."

"What can I tell you, Blair?"

"Who is he?"

"I don't know any more than you do. McBain might. Seems he's been down in that holding cell with him all night long."

"What? Why?"

"McBain might be going soft on me. Seems our prisoner was, let's say, a little uncomfortable about being locked up again. I don't know, John might have some kind of soft spot for the guy. He lived with him for a few days, maybe that's it."

Blair stood up and grabbed at her purse. "I'm going down there . . ."

Bo suddenly became more serious. "Blair, sit down. You don't want to do this."

"Why don't I?" She plopped down in the seat, crossing her arms again. Her indignant tone was growing.

"Because it might be too much for you. The guy's had his share of problems the last 8 years."

"What problems?"

"I can't really tell much except he's emotionally raw, broken, something like that. He talked about being held captive, being away from you and the kids...and being tortured."

Blair softened. I dare you to ever forget me. I dare you. Her eyes burned with the onset of tears, but she blinked them back. "Tortured?" She regretted how childlike she sounded saying it.

"Tortured. Daily, according to McBain. Now, do you see why I don't want you to go down there?"

Blair stood up, gathering her composure. She sniffed in and put her purse over her shoulder. "No. In fact, it makes more sense that I go now. Bring me to him, Bo. Please. I have to find out for myself. I have to . . . I have to see him," and then in a whisper, "please," eyes brimming.

"It's against my better judgment and you just get 5 minutes. McBain is already down there, just make sure you're careful and only 5 minutes. That's it, Blair!" He yelled after her as she raced to the elevator.

She walked into the familiar holding area, and through the bars, she heard low talking. Todd caught sight of her first over John's shoulder. He stood up, and the cards absently fell to the floor. John turned around, and seeing Blair, watched observantly, recording her motions and the prisoner's responses very carefully. She approached the bars slowly and grasped them with her hands. Her eyes were fixed on Todd's; her face had a look of sadness and desperation. She stared at Todd but spoke to John.

"John, can I have a minute, please?"

McBain looked from one of them to the other and realized this was no place for him. "I can't let you in the cell, Blair. You know that."

"That's ok. I can talk to him from here."

John turned and, signaling for her to step back, opened the cell and exited it. Locking it again, he turned to his prisoner. "Next time, best out of thirty. I'm securing a guard, he will be right outside this door."

Todd was silent as John left the holding area. He stepped a few steps closer to the bars. "You came."

She stepped back from the bars as he came closer. She let her hands drop. "I did. What happened to you?" Her voice was the melodic, breathy voice he remembered and dreamed of and memorized all those days away from it.

"I was taken."


Barely able to contain her emotions, a tear began to make a trail down her face. "Bo said you were..." She trailed off.

"A bastard?"

She sniffed, but tears still came. "No, he said you were...he said you were in trouble."

"I am. But that's nothing new to me, Blair, and not to you either." His eyes had not left her face, and hers had not left his.

"Do you believe me, Blair?"

She put her hands back onto the bars and moved closer to them. "I'm not sure. I don't know. I can't think. I can't...where were you?"

"A paramilitary complex of some kind, that's all I know about that. I hopped a plane to get back here."

"Who held you?"


"I don't know who was fully behind it, but I do know my keepers. One's dead, he tried to shoot your son, and I shot him instead. The other is called Baker."

"Sam? He tried to shoot little Sam?" Her voice almost vanished, and the whispers melted his heart.


"Yes, he was going to shoot Sam. You know, Blair, I wasn't fully aware of who I was then. I was still clearing the cobwebs. Sam said to me that day that he knew I was a good man."

She swallowed. His eyes. His scent. His face, his scar, his hands. Oh, his hands. They were at his sides but had just run through his own hair. How could he look this much like her Todd?

He stepped closer to the bars. "I told him I wasn't sure if I was a good man or not. My head wasn't right. And today, I still don't know, to be honest. They messed with it, Blair. Screwed me up." His hands balled into fists for a moment and his voice cracked. "All I know is, I did everything I could to get back here to you and to the kids."

Again, her eyes were imploring every inch of his face. "Are you . . . are you all right? Bo said, he said that you were tortured." Again, the whisper, placed on words she could barely say.


He looked down, avoiding her response. "Yeah, I guess so." He looked up again, "Just a little." He stepped closer. "But that's behind me now. And I am here, and I'm back, and I fought to stand this close to you again. I did everything I could to stay alive every day, to get back to you."

Blair could stand it no longer. Her tears flowed. "I'm so sorry you went through all this."

"It's over. And I'm here." He put his hands on the bars outside hers.

In the softest voice, she said through tears, "Todd?"

His face twisted with emotion, and he stared into her. "It's ok if you're not sure, I understand. But this will help." And at that moment, he reached his hands through, taking her face in his palms, then burying his fingers in her soft hair, and moving her closer until their lips touched through the jail cell bars.

The Way Back: Chapter 2

"Manning, I never expected to see you back here." It was Bo. Perfect. Just the person he never wanted to run into at this point. The gloating would be more than he could take.


"Why Bo, you know you just love adding me to the quota list for monthly arrests. I sell a mean policeman's ball ticket, too."


Bo squinted his eyes, hands on hips, and stared into Todd's face. "Whoever did this work was a genius. You almost have me fooled."


"And who was this 'genius' that put a scar onto his or her handiwork? Now, what sense would that make?"


"Make you look more like the man you are posing as, I guess. What do you think, McBain?" Bo turned toward the taller, dark man, who was standing watching from behind Todd.


"Bo, you got me on this one." He looked away, clearly trying to show his disinterest in the chiding.

"Lieutenant, in my office." Bo said, looking once more at Todd's face. He shook his head. "Jameson, watch our friend Mr. Manning or whoever he is. Make certain he's around. His face brightens up the place." The two men entered Bo's office and the door closed.


Todd found he had no interest in listening in on them; much of what they said did not matter to him anymore. He knew who he was. And more importantly, Blair knew him. He went over things again; her expressions, her asking him where he'd been, her hand brushing his scar when he kissed her and her kissing him passionately back. Most importantly, he recalled her silence. This was a woman who was emotionally shocked, but also in love. "Things haven't changed much, Mrs. Manning," he said aloud. He closed his eyes and brought his cuffed hands to his face. The lower part of both palms smelled like her, probably from when he held her face in his hands, and he breathed in deeply. It didn't make sense that her scent and her perfume was the same after all these years, but why else did he recognize it? He took it in and felt himself flush. He wanted her back so much. It was almost incomprehensible.


He closed his eyes and played the scene over and over, each time slowing the action when his lips met hers. Her hair still felt the way he remembered it; her eyes still searched his the same way; her mouth still accepted him as it always did. And he loved her.


The door to Bo's office opened loudly, interrupting. "Hi, John, Bo. Do I get a break here, or what? Or do you show me to your finest accommodations?"


McBain stepped forward. Bo watched, from behind, hands on hips again. "You have to spend the night here, at least. You've got a laundry list of charges."


Todd's face was tell-tale. He kept his eyes focused on John, feigning acceptance, but McBain could see his hands begin to shake.


"I'm not sure what will happen next, but we're going to look into everything you've accused Manning of."


"I'm not accusing myself of anything, John." His voice caught momentarily. His facade was slipping.


John caught it, having spent some time alone with the guy, he felt for him. He stepped closer. "If I could do this differently . . ."


"Nope, why would the LPD do anything differently where I'm concerned. It's always been my favorite place," he spoke louder next intentionally, "and I'm Bo's favorite tenant, right Bozo?"


Bo, who had gone back to his paperwork, snapped his head up at the sound. "What did you call me?"


John turned to Bo, and back to Todd, who said, "Just lock me up, Commissioner. Routine." He put his head back and closed his eyes again. He clasped his hands together to mask the tremors.


"Manning, come with me," McBain lead the way. Todd got up and followed, head lowered. Bo stared after him, and made eye contact with McBain as they walked off.

In the basement of the police station, John opened the barred door to the holding cell area, and opened a cell. He slowly slid the bars to the side. Todd, losing his bravado by the moment, put his hands up to John so that the cuffs could be removed. Again, John noticed the shaking of his hands as he offered them. He rubbed his wrists absently and turned to the cell opening, head held high. John watched, as he put his hands on either side of the "door" and paused, lowering his head. He shook, and this time it could not be hidden. He looked up to his keeper. John was overtaken by the expression on Todd's face, and within moments, the lieutenant was certain of two things: this was Todd Manning, and jailing him was very wrong and impossibly cruel.


"Look, I, uh . . ."


"I'm going, officer." He stepped inside. "Long time no see." His voice cracked. Then, "I'll be ok." Almost questioning.


"Is there someone I can call for you? You refused your one phone call."


Todd looked up at him, making eye contact and studying him for a minute. "No. No one. Hey, don't worry, just doing your job."


"Yeah." He paused. "My job. I'll check in with you later on."


Todd's eyes found the floor. "Sure, yeah. Ok."

McBain found it difficult to walk away, but knew he had to. He wondered what must be going through the man's mind, being back in a cell after eight years of captivity. His stomach rocked with nausea as he heard the bars to the area clang shut.


Bo was waiting in his office, as if expecting McBain to return. John slammed into the room, closing the door behind him. "What are we doing here, Bo? Manning or not, the guy has been tortured for 8 years and held in a cell. 8 years of his life. I mean, what are we doing?"


"He committed crimes, lieutenant. Crimes. Remember? The reason we're here and getting that old paycheck."


"What's your take on this, Bo?"


Bo ran his finger along his desk's edge. "He's Manning. Or he's crazy. Or he's both."


"I can take him into custody in my apartment. He can stay with me until he gets a lawyer or we figure out this mess. I mean, what if Manning is really an impostor and this guy is for real?"


"I don't know, John, what do you want me to say? You know I can't let you take him out of here. What happens when you have to work? Who watches him then? We'd have a media frenzy on our hands if that happened. A former rapist, a kidnapper, and an all-around good guy."


"Yes sir." John did this when making it known he was subjugating to Bo's authority. He left the room in a whirl of black blazer and let the door bang on his way out.


Bo called after him. "Lieutenant? Calling it a night?"


"You could say that."


Todd had given up pacing and was lying on the bunk, eyes fixated on the ceiling. He'd gotten through the first few minutes after the shaking stopped by repeating his family list aloud. It was something he had learned to do to distract from his pain throughout his time away. He'd recite all of his family's names, their relationship to him, and in some cases, even things about them. He'd gone through everyone from Blair and Starr to Tea and Jack when the panic finally subsided enough for him to try and meditate, another thing he had used as a way not to completely succumb to eternal mental blackness. The meditation, though, had come from Sam. Sam who was the only father he'd consider calling one; Sam the hippie with the tireless love and peace ideas; Sam who died. Todd's mind rested on Sam for a while, and he pictured him, silver-haired and rather bossy, taking him in his arms and telling him he loved him. The closest thing to a real friend he had, aside from Blair, and possibly Tea, was Sam Rappaport.


The clang of bars rang out and echoed in the empty holding area. He ignored it, used to the sounds of coming and going in jail. After all, he had spent a great deal of time incarcerated, one way or another. It wasn't until a voice spoke that Todd swung his legs over his bunk, looking toward the door. "Hey, 5 card stud or go fish?" McBain said, unlocking Todd's cell.


Tweet

The Way Back: Chapter 1

Though it was not exactly what he had imagined, which was Blair, running to him, tears flowing, and throwing her arms around him and holding on for dear life, the responses to his appearance in that room with his family and extended family was something he'd remember always. Jack, standing behind The Impostor with a blank look; Starr walking toward him, tears brimming, as if she had seen a ghost; Tea, uncharacteristically speechless; and Blair, who asked him, "Where have you been?" It was in that moment that he realized that she knew he was real.

She knew him, and everything about him. She knew he was her Todd. Whether she would "pull a Blair" and stay in denial remained to be seen. He hoped some of that had changed, but he could only wait for the answer. "I don't know. I was locked up."

"Who locked you up?"

"I don't know." Deep down, she believed him. Period. She did not let on, or act the way his heart wished, but she knew.

The rest of it came and went as quickly as a gust of wind. Something he had thought about, planned for and wished on was fleeting by him. He was with his family, at last, again. And it was all happening so fast. The Impostor's incredulous looks and snide remarks; Tomas standing nearby, arms folded, wheels turning at a high rate in his aesthetic brain; Jack denying him, vehemently; Starr touching his cheek. Someday he would remember it all in sequence. At the moment, when he tried to access it, it was just a blur of emotion.

He wasn't sure why he even pulled the gun, but he did. He held it out because he wanted them back. The Impostor was probably dangerous and had taken his life. But John McBain's low and focused voice reminded him of why he was there and what he wanted, and he backed off, and turned the gun in, knowing full well he would be taken away for the simple act of defending what was his own.

The Impostor barked a command to Tea, who, atypically, followed sheepishly out of the room. He knew what was next for him, but he stepped toward Blair for one last attempt to make certain she saw him and knew him.

"You know me."

She was barely audible. "I don't know. I don't know."

He knew she was talking herself out of him being who he was. So typical. He thought his heart would break that she didn't just throw herself into his arms. But, he composed himself, held steady. "This will help, right? Remember that?" He held up the picture of their second wedding. It was a bit tattered, but it was the object she was studying when he first saw her by the pool. He almost went to her that night. In retrospect, he probably should have, but things were so different then. Every memory was not in place. And just when he got around to showing himself, Agent Kent had shown up. He went on, "You do. You do remember this. It's our wedding." He smiled and walked closer. "That's you, and that's me," he pointed like teaching elementary school. She was quiet, stunned, staring. He continued, "I was at Dorian's that day when you showed this picture to Starr."

"You were stalking me?" She was uneasy; Starr was crying. He wanted to hold her and assure her she would never be in danger from him.

Instead, "Yeah I guess, li'l bit. You told our daughter that you had never been so happy. You know me." Her green eyes were searching his. Silently, she stared into him. And then, he went for it. Taking two steps in, he reached for her, and drawing her close, kissed her with all of his mouth, body, and soul. In the moments that followed, all he could know and hold onto was that she kissed back, deeply, and her hand went to his cheek and rested on his scar as if no time passed. The silkiness of her white gown slid softly under his palm as he cradled her lower back. When he pulled back from the kiss, he held her face in his hands for a few moments. Instead of fighting away from him, she held his thumbs with her fingers, watching his every move intently. Starr's tears had spilled over, and Tomas was hiding his face with his hand, blocking his eyes as if from the sun. "I dare you to ever forget me. I dare you."

"Yeah, that's good, come on, let's go." It was McBain. He broke the silence of the room. No one aside from Todd had spoken in what seemed to be an eternity.

"You hold onto this, okay?" He handed her the photo with the bent and separating corner. Tears balanced in her eyes and he noticed she held onto his hand. He pointed again, "That's you, and that's me, the man who made you so happy." And with that, John lead him away to the police station, and he couldn't look back, for fear he might fight his way away from John and back to them. He walked off, leaving his family behind.

Getting into the police car, he spoke. "You saved me back there. I almost lost it and shot that asshole."

"Yeah, you did. Good thing you made the choice you did. Not good to shoot him dead in front of your family that way, if they are your family."

"Oh, they're my family all right." His voice was certain. McBain had very little doubt himself. For some reason, something told him deep down that this was indeed Todd Manning sitting next to him. In fact, that something told him since he brought Todd back to his apartment and experienced his bantering snark first hand. But what had really sealed the deal was Blair's reaction to him. Having been married to her, he knew a bit about her emotions and her expressions. She had recognized him and even more than his face, she had recognized his kiss. He could tell. Blair knew this was her lost husband. Todd Manning was here, in this police car with him.

But then, who was the guy who went home with Tea Delgado?

Tweet

The Way Back: Prologue

Premiering Tonight, the real Todd Manning

Waiting was never easy, but after 8 years, he could face a few more minutes apart from her. Standing behind the deep maroon curtain and looking in, he spied his family. Starr, beautiful in her floral dress, with her hair upswept like her mother had worn it on occasion; Jack standing tall and oh-so-grown in his suit; and Blair, beautiful Blair, his wife, in white. In his mind, he had always pictured her in white during the long years of pain and torment. In white. A white nightgown with a lace overjacket; a white wedding gown with gold threads interspersed; a white halter top and long wrap skirt; a black pencil skirt and a white puff shoulder top with her beautiful swanesque back exposed. Every single thing she had ever worn he could picture, down to the last detail. He had spent 8 years studying it all and running it over and over in his mind. And, there she was, in white. Again. Stunning even after all this time apart. His wife.

He waited for the opportune moment to make his appearance. After all, it was his premier. Don't expect much, Manning. They're going to be surprised - heck, they're going to be damn shocked. Go slow. Don't push. He ran everything over in his mind, just the way he had practiced it. He knew exactly what he wanted to say and why he wanted to say it. He was here. He was back.

The last weeks were blurring more and more, but his memories were becoming perfectly intact. It had taken a while, having been muddled with electrical currents, but he was certain now, of everything. Each memory, sound and sight, was embedded back into its special location in his brain. No one was going to take any of it from him, he had promised himself. Every time Baker made his way toward him with electric cables, syringes, ropes, cords, long carpenter nails heated until glowing red, and other assorted "toys," as he called them, he'd start reciting his mantra. His family, their names, and who they were to him. When he came close to losing his mind and never coming back, he would play over a day, from start to finish, in his mind. The day he met Blair for the first time (again, her blouse was white); the sledding expedition (her smiling face, her slim figure bundled in her white winter coat); their almost wedding when he found out Jack had actually been his (she in a white satin pants suit). He marveled at how some things changed but others just hadn't. He had been counting on that for 8 years.

So, this was it. This was the moment he let them all know the truth. Of course, he counted on something else. He counted on Tomas Delgado not being able to keep his mouth shut about The Impostor. Todd was pretty certain that Tomas wouldn't be able to keep quiet long. Too much had happened and Tomas was not in the dark, at least, not as much as he pretended to be.

He watched as Tomas pointed across the room to The Impostor, saying, "That man is not Todd Manning."

He parted the curtains and walked into the room, and, fixing his tie, simply said, "I am."

Tweet

My Brother's Keeper #3

You may now read this at Passionate4Todd

http://passionate4todd.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-brothers-keeper-3.html