The Mysterious Samuel Toddman: Chapter 16

Blair looked up at Samuel. If this was an alter of Todd's, how come he didn't seem aware of Todd. One thing she remembered about Todd's other alters was that they knew about Todd. That day when she had insisted Todd stop playing his game in front of Starr, he had acted just like Todd when he said he had made it all up. He even told Sam the same thing. Why had he let them believe it was all a lie? If he lied about his alters, then he also lied when he said nothing had happened. The events, as Tom told them at the trial, must have been true. God, Todd, what you went through.

Todd's alters were real. One of his alters was standing here in front of her very much alive and real. He was very different from Todd. He was polite and caring. Samuel had an air of calmness that Todd never had. Todd was like energy, he had always been hard to contain. She had never known when Todd's mood would change. No one had met Samuel during that time. Why was he out now? What event had awaken this man and where was Todd? How was she going to explain all this to Samuel? Blair’s thoughts had been going a mile a minute and suddenly she realized that Samuel was still waiting for some response. Ok, Blair, you got to find the right words to explain your behavior to this man. Take your time. Blair looked down at the picture once more and gathered her thoughts. Not looking at him she remarked. "Oh my, I'm at a loss for words. This is really stunning. I owe you an apology. You are an excellent artist Mr Toddman. Forgive me for thinking you were lying. My only excuse for my terrible behavior is the shock I felt when I first saw you. You bear an uncanny resemblance to my ex-husband whom I haven't seen for some time. Our relationship always leaned toward the bizarre. I really thought you were him trying to play mind games with me again." she smiled and then looked at him again.

Samuel simply nodded. " I understand. If I truly look like your ex then it must have indeed been a shock. Please don't think about it anymore and please accept the drawing as a gift. You are my first guest and I would be rude to take offense over a mistaken identity."

" I don't understand." says Blair , " What do you mean by first guest? Surely you've had other people here."

Looking a bit sheepish, Samuel answered with a wry smile. "Actually I haven't. I'm a bit of a recluse and have tried to keep my life very private up until a few days ago. A couple of days ago an acquaintance of mine for the last seven years made a simple request of me. I was surprised but felt I owed him. He merely asked my name. I stood there that night and a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was time to live again not merely exist. So I gave him my name. Just being able to do that was momentous. So when you knocked on my door, another weight lifted and I was able to open it and not be afraid of what might be on the other side. After living these all these years walled up here with just my girls for company, the past few days have been truly eye opening. You, dear Blair are only the third woman I had any real contact with since I arrived here."

Blair wondered why he was only referring to the last seven years. What about before that? Could he really have spent his time doing nothing but existing and painting? "Mr. Toddman."

"Please. Call me Samuel." said Samuel.

"Samuel are you telling me you've had no regular contact for seven years, surely that has been confining. You've never wanted anyone else in your life up to now? What did you do before and why did you leave it to come and paint? " Blair asked.

           "Well, that is an interesting question, but before I answer that, why don't we return to the sitting room and have a drink. Maybe it's time I told my story." Samuel led her back to the sitting room and went to get some wine.

Blair sat down on the couch. It was disconcerting to sit among all the paintings, but she couldn't help looking at them and seeing the various scenes in front of her. She felt like she was getting a glimpse of Todd's soul as she realized what was depicted around her. His paintings of Vicki were superb. She recognized one of Vicki sitting on a bench and realized she had seen that bench in the cemetery. It was one of the places Vicki went to talked to Ben and Sloan. Blair gaze fell on a painting of Tea, she was standing by the dock holding a necklace in her hand. Blair wondered when that event had taken place. She looked at it and was genuinely curious. She had become friends with Tea last year and could now think of her with Todd. But wait Tea wasn't with Todd. Boy what a mess. Samuel came walking towards her with a glass of wine. She took it and looked at him.

Samuel sat down opposite her. He had seen her looking at the paintings. Did she know Vicki and Delgado? "I hope my paintings aren't bothering you. From what you told me earlier, I've been painting events in your life, perhaps it's time to explain that. You asked me a question in the other room. You wanted to know what I did before coming here and painting. Here's my answer. I don't know. Eight years ago I woke in a hospital bed and the only thing I knew was my name. I had no recollection of my life before then, and I still don't. Well, that's not quite true. I'm starting to remember a few things. The picture you found alarming, depicted a memory that has recently come to light. It is a dark memory, but it helped me remember how I received this scar." He touched the older scar.

"From the look on your face, you wish to know how I got the other one. I can't tell you but I fear something equally horrifying is waiting for me to remember. I can't really explain how I've known all these events which you tell me are real, I only know that an image would come to me; of you, or Dee, or my serene one, and painting it would ease the pain or the loneliness I was feeling at the time. I will be truthful to you now, I've seen you one other time before you were at my door. Two days ago I saw you entering the gallery of my acquaintance Tomas. I didn't know at the time that you were my Muse, but something inside of me recognized you. Earlier today another memory returned. Three names came to me and I knew who they belonged to. They were only first names. But I realized they belonged to my three Muses. Vicki, who I know as my sister; Tea, who I called Dee, but now know she's Delgado; and you, Blair. All of you are important to me but I can't remember why. I think I do have some sort of connection to your Todd but I don't know what it is." Samuel paused and looked at his visitor. What must she be thinking right now. He knew what he would have thought if someone had just told him that story. He would have thought they were nuts. He took a sip of his wine. Should he say more or just let her dwell on the current revelation.

Blair was astounded. She didn't know what she had expected Samuel to tell her, but she hadn't figured on this. Good Lord, Samuel had only been around for a little under eight years. That meant he had shown up to shield Todd from something that happened at the time of Todd's disappearance, but that only explained his appearance. Samuel had no real memories of his previous life. "Samuel, what you're sitting here telling me is that your life is a blank slate before 2003. You said you woke in a hospital, didn't they have anything to tell you about what happened to you?"

          Samuel shrugged. "Unfortunately they could tell me nothing but that I had arrived severely injured and in a coma. Until I awoke I was simply a John Doe. I know that the injuries were extensive. I was a mass of broken bones that needed mending and I had badly burned hands. It took some very careful surgery to save my eye because of the laceration to my face. I tried constantly to retrieve my memories but all I got for my troubles was excruciating headaches that started affecting my heart. On the advice of the Doctors working to keep me alive, I had to stop trying to get my memories back. It was then I knew I just had to make a life in the present moment. Although my hands had been burned there had been no broken bones in them . I started carving as a kind of therapy and then discovered I could paint. When I left the hospital I made my way here to Paris. And here we are."

" You say you have no memories, Samuel. How do you explain all of these?" Blair said and waved at all the paintings.

"Blair, I've always thought they were just fantasies that I made up, to lessen the loneliness and despair I felt at times. You don't understand. There have been periods in my life here that brought me to the brink. If I hadn't seen Vicki one night, I think I would have killed myself. I had encountered a stranger one night that terrified me. The more I had looked at him the more I felt a coldness spreading through me. It made me realize there was something in me just like what was in that stranger. I sensed a blackness inside of me and all I wanted to do was get away. I was so close to ending it, when I saw her. She was brave and confident, but then I felt a sorrow within so similar to mine. In my imagination she reached out, gave me her hand and promised to be there for me no matter what. That night I painted her. A couple of nights earlier when I was having nightmares, Dee came into my head, she appeared to me like a guardian angel and watched over me. She became my second muse. So you see, I had no idea they were memories. I only knew all of you were my saviors, my girls."

Her hand had gone to her heart as she listened to Samuel pour out his tale of despair. She knew what haunted him, but he had no idea. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and prayed they stayed there. Blair took a moment to compose herself taking a quick gulp of wine. It was too quick and she suddenly found herself coughing and the tears coming down her cheeks. Hopefully Samuel would think she'd teared up because of the choking.

"Blair, are you alright." Samuel had seen her tears but when she started coughing, he just wanted to make sure the wine hadn't gone down the wrong way. The coughing broke the spell and the awkward moment passed.

"I'm alright Samuel the wine went down wrong. Samuel you wondered if there was any connection between you and Todd and I believe there is and I think you might find some answers back in the States. Perhaps you would consider making a trip there." Blair inquired, looking hopefully for some sign that Samuel might take her up on the offer.

Samuel almost said yes right then and there. She was his Muse and he didn't want her to walk out of his life as quickly as she had entered, but he stopped himself. Something was telling him it was dangerous to involve her. He was sure someone had been manipulating him all these years and he had to find out who they were and take care of them. Then and only then could he begin his life again. Now it was time to let her go, but not for long. "Blair for now that mystery connection will have to wait. There is something important I have to attend to first. When I've finished with the task ahead of me, I'll be able to give my full attention to restoring my memories. But my dear, I just realized how long we've been talking. Please allow me to take you safely back to your hotel. I am grateful you sought me out this night. To hear your voice and see the real you fills me with such indescribable joy. I will try to see you once again if you allow, before you return to the states."

Blair knew nothing more could be said at this time, so she replied: "Thank you for opening the door, Samuel. It means more then you can know to have finally found you and I promise you I will not leave without trying one more time to talk you into coming with me to the States. But for now I would love for you to take me to my hotel, I apologize, I didn't realize the time." Samuel help her up and together they left his apartment. As always in Paris, even though it was nearing morning there was a cab at the end of the block. They entered the cab and set off for Blair's hotel. Blair found herself beginning to nod off and suddenly she felt an arm go around her and draw her close. It seemed so natural, so familiar as she laid her head against his shoulder and fell asleep.

Samuel sat there listening to her breathing. This felt so good, so right. He instructed the driver to head out of town and drive through the countryside. She could sleep undisturbed for a short while then they would head back to her hotel. As he sat there he started seeing other moments like this. Samuel recalled an elegant room and her voice asking him to stay and keep her company and just hold her. He had done just that. She fit in his shoulder perfectly. They were in the stables just leaning against some hay, he stroked her hair remembering how long and silky it had been, then she had grabbed his shirt and put it on and gotten on the magnificent stallion he had painted her on. Samuel couldn't believe he was actually holding her. He thought of that last painting he had finished and marveled at the moonlight streaming in the cab, lighting her face much the way he had painted it. If he could have stopped time he would have done it right then and there. This was perfect, except it was incomplete. He had too many unanswered questions. If everything he remembered had happened, why were they not together?

The woman in his paintings had appeared to be a woman in love. He had been afraid to ask about the child he had remembered. He wasn't sure if Blair was the mother of the child or if he had just fantasized about that picture. On top of all his misgivings was one glaring fact. She seemed to be in love with her ex.,Todd. He wanted to feel jealous, but truthfully he was just sad. He knew in his heart that he could never really compete with Todd. He would always fall short because he wasn't all there, something was missing. He knew he wasn't whole and wondered if he ever would be. The morning sky was alight with soft shades of pink as dawn was nearing. Samuel instructed the driver to head back to Blair's hotel. He would drop her off and then he needed to make a stop at the Gallery. It was time he had his chat with Tomas.

As the cab pulled up to the hotel, Samuel gently shook her. "Blair, wake up, we're here." She stirred and slowly opened her eyes. She looked up at him and he caught his breath, once again remembering that look from his painting. She smiled and whispered. "You should have woken me sooner." She reached up and pulled his face to hers and gently kissed him. Samuel couldn't have stopped if he had wanted to. He hungrily began kissing her back, drinking in her taste like a man parched with thirst. Years of yearning poured out in that kiss and she seemed as hungry for it as he was. An eternity seemed to pass in that one kiss, then they slowly parted. His heart was going a mile a minute but wasn't hurting. In fact, he had never felt better. He looked at her, trying to get an idea what might be going through her head at the moment.

Blair was trying to catch her breath, she remember waking from a marvelous dream of Todd and seeing him right in front of her. It had been so natural to greet him with that morning kiss but she hadn't been prepared for the passion that shot through her when Samuel returned the kiss. She closed her eyes and licked her lips trying to hold onto that memory as long as she could. No one before or since had ever kissed her like Todd. The feel of those lips had always taken away her breath and this morning was no different.

Samuel found it hard to take his eyes away from her face. His breath getting ragged as she licked her lips she looked thoroughly kissed but very contented. He smiled as her eyes once more met his. "Thank you. That was the most exquisite Good Morning I've ever received."

Blair smiled in response. "You're most welcome, Samuel, you are truly incredible too. Thank you for your shoulder, I can't believe I fell asleep. Please promise me that we'll see each other again."

"Don't worry, Blair. I promise that we are not finished yet. But before I let you go, what is your full name? I need to know, so I can call on you later." Asked Samuel.

"Oh , I'm sorry, here we've exchanged kisses and I never told you my full name. Samuel, my last name is Cramer. Now don't forget. Just call the desk and ask for Blair Cramer, I'll be waiting for your call." At that she left the cab and walked away into the hotel. Samuel stared after her for a few minutes. "I won't forget Blair and I will call." Then he instructed the driver to take him to the Gallery. If the last 24 hrs were anything to go by, Samuel was now sure he was jumping from the frying pan into the fire. But what a way to go!

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Failings of the Fathers: 52

Starr disembarked the car that Blair arranged for her to make her way to Unforgettable.  She had also asked Williams to remain, as to give her a ride to Mountainview.  Starr made her way into the lobby, and was met with a little yell from Ray.  "Starr!"  he said, running to her arms. 

She crouched and hugged him.  "Oh, you're getting so big!  I can't even pick you up anymore!"

"Hope?  Where's Hope?"  he said.

"Hope is not here, she has the flu, so she stayed with Grandma Addie and Auntie Dorian."

"Oh, no," he said, making a sad face.

It almost made Starr laugh, seeing his bottom lip poked out beyond the other.  "It's okay, she will play another day."

Jack came into the room.  "Hey."

"Hey," she said.

Sam came barrelling after him.  "Starr, hi!"  he said, and hugged her.

"Hey Sam, how ya doing?"

"Good.   Mom's leaving to go see Grandma Bitsy at the nuthouse."

"Sam!  I don't think that's really the way to say it, and yes I know.  Jack and I are going to babysit."

"Uh, we are?"  Jack said.

"Yes, you know that, Jack," Blair called from the kitchen.

"Well, I did have other plans.  Jenna's got some kind of art show, and I . . ."

"Forgot to tell me, which leaves you here instead."  Blair finished his sentence.  

Jack didn't respond, he shrugged, and Starr said, "Mom, it's no big deal, with Shaun here, I can handle all the kids."

"That's not really the point.  We made this arrangement so that you all, all the Manning siblings, could spend time together.  Jewel's even staying behind.  Jack, you know everything about caring for her, and I'll only be gone two hours or so."

He didn't answer, he just folded his arms and waited.

Starr said, "Two hours is not that long.  Who needs him?"

He made a face at her, and she returned it.

Blair said, "I'm going to get going.  Jack, you are staying here until I return.  Starr, see you later.  Kids, be good.  Come on and kiss Mommy good-bye."

Ray ran to her legs, and she picked him up and kissed his cheek.  Sam hugged her waist.  She looked at Jack.  "No hug from my big boy?"

He leaned over and pecked her cheek.  "Bye, Mom."

"Bye.  Everyone, be good and have fun!  Be back soon."  She went to the baby's basket and checked her, and handed the basket to Starr.  "Two bottles in the fridge.  As I said, you brother here knows her routine."

Blair left, and Starr put a cartoon on in the family room and said, "Sam, you and Ray watch TV for a minute, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he said, taking the little boy's hand.

She looked at Jack, "You know, that was dead wrong of you, doing that.  Mom's trying hard to take care of all of you with Dad gone, the least we could do is help out."

"I help out every day, I feed Jewel, even take her in my room at night sometimes so that Mom can be alone with Dad on Skype, or just rest.  Where are you during all that?"

"I have my own kid, Jack."

"Not my problem you had sex too early without protection."

"Jack!"

"What?  It's the truth.  Aside from that, I do a lot around here, and this day is important to Jenna, and me.  And before you say it, don't even think of telling me my family should be more important.  I do a lot to support Mom and the kids, and she would even tell you that."

Starr remembered a recent conversation with her mother about that very thing.  "Fine.  You want to go, go.  Even though Mom said you should stay, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, especially when you say mean things."

He went to the stairs and turned and said, "Perzno's on the roof, ready to take off in a few.  And since you put it that way, I will be going.  You take your turn with the kids.  Might as well."

She was angry with him, but at the same time, she remembered her mother's phone conversations, just earlier that week, when she told Starr how much help Jack had been.  She decided to let the situation go, and would deal with his smart ass comments later.  Or, maybe she would just tell her father what her brother said.  

That would do it.

Regardless, she went into the family room, with the boys and Jewel, and they all watched cartoons.  It wasn't long before she heard the door slam behind Jack.

***

"Malcolm" looked at the cell phone, the one that actually belonged to Malcolm Carlisle.  "Another call and three texts from that fruitcake at the clinic.  Hmf.  Maybe those two had a 'thing.'"  He quickly typed and sent off a text back, and thumbed through the rest of the log, finding that he had missed an important call.  He'd given the number to only one other person, and expected the call might come in that previous night.  He had crashed to sleep early, working the whole day in the yard, and got some well-earned rest, while catching up on jet lag.  He dialed.  "I'm all set to go with the first part of this.  You have everything ready on your end?  Don't make any mistakes, we can't afford that.  No, no concerns right now.  I'll get my hands on the sons.  It will take some doing, but I'll nab whomever I can."  

He listened.  "Simple, drugs.  I have enough to tranquilize a horse, and that's what it will take for the big guy.  He's a monster, over six foot four and close to three hundred pounds.  I'd never be able to get him out of the way in any other manner.  He'll be out a few hours.  Once I get my hands on the baby and the little one, the others will do whatever I say.  The eldest?  Whatever.  She's no threat.  Just a woman, and a small one at that.  I've got this under control.  I don't need one of those, but make sure we have one at the house, just in case.  There should be one in the wall safe.  I'll call later."

He hung up, and looked in the mirror, "Well, old boy, you've got it under control.  Lots of money to be made off this one.  He'll give his right arm for these kids, never mind all of his fortune.  Then, the rest will be simple," he said.

***

Miguel was in the solarium, when Tina and Sister Rebecca Katherine made their way in.  "I like this room.  It reminds me of the one at St. Anne's."  Tina said.  She spotted Miguel across the room.  "There's Miguel."

She lead the nun toward Miguel's table.  "Hey," he said, looking up.  "I just . . . I'm sorry, I am reading something on my phone."

His face was confused.  Tina and Sister Rebecca Katherine waited for him to finish.  Then he looked up.  "Strange," he said.

"If you want to tell us, you can," Tina said.

"Well, it's just that Malcolm sent me a text, and I'm having trouble understanding it."

"What do ya mean?"  the nun asked, now curious.

"It said, 'in the states.  I'm fine, stop worrying.'  I never took Malcolm for writing something that abrupt.  He's usually pretty patient, especially with me."

The nun remained quiet, but filed it away for later use, as a small voice recommended she do.  Tina said, "Maybe he's just busy with his new job?"

"Yeah, that's probably it.  You know, I never thought I would miss him as much as I do, but he was an awesome friend.  A great listener."

"Well, he still is your friend, he's just trying to adjust.  Remember, it's going to be tough for him, because he's in the outside world."  Tina added.

"You're right," he said.  "I should have thought of that."

"It's okay.  I understand being worried, the way the world is today."

"I'll say, it's a bit diabolical, it is.  So many troubles and pains,"  the clergywoman said.

"True.  Is Aiden any better, Tina?"

"No, he's much the same.  Thanks for asking.  I'm just keeping hope alive."

"That is what you must do."  Miguel reached out and touched her arm.  

She smiled through tears, and gazed out the window.

***

Sneaking into Shaun's cottage was not as hard as it seemed.  But, once in there, figuring out the best place to put the needle would be a challenge.  And then, it came to him.  In front of the fireplace was a pair of slippers.  They were worn, and in some places, a bit tattered.  He imagined that Shaun would put them on, whenever coming in, and changing out of his work boots.  This was a pretty sure thing, in his mind, because after all, it was March, and the ground was starting to be saturated with water from the thaw.  He'd have to bet on it, and if not, he'd take another, and stab him with it, if necessary.  He'd wait for closer to dinner hour, so Shaun would be returning to his home to make a meal and have a break from the kids.  It seemed a perfect idea.  Of course, there was no telling it would work out as perfectly as he wanted, but he was willing to give it a try.  

He left the cottage, and went to continue his work on the bushes along the side of the house.  Double-checking that no one was looking, he ventured around the side of Unforgettable and continued his work.   He positioned himself so that he would be able to see the large man go back into his abode, and then sneak up to the windows to observe.  Armed with another needle, he would quickly act if he had to, to insure success.  It was a quick-acting tranquilizer, that would render Shaun powerless and unconscious for a few hours.  He'd read up on it, and used illegal means to obtain it from a veterinary supply house.  Of course, he'd had help.  

The next hour passed like a snail in his estimation; when Shaun rounded the corner back toward his lair, his stalker was excited in a strange way that started in the pit of his stomach.  Slowly, he stepped toward the cottage, and sure enough, through an open window, he could view Shaun, slipping his feet into his slippers, exclaiming briefly, "What the heck?" and then falling to the ground, still.

He smiled to himself.  It was too simple.  Perzno was gone, having taken Jack to town.  By the time the pilot returned and even thought about coming to the rescue, he would be long gone with as many of the Manning children as he could coerce.

His ultimate goal was to take the three youngest; that would hurt the hardest and gain the most.  But, however it turned out, he'd take whichever of them he could get.

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Failings of the Fathers: 51

Blair stepped onto the patio outside the house.  "Shaun, it looks like I'm going to end up going to see Momma this evening."

"Oh, all right.  That's fine."

"Starr is coming out, and she and Jack are going to tend to the kids.  This way, you can have a break from chasing Ray and also, it will give them some time being with their siblings.  Todd really liked the idea."

She was always trying to please her man.  He noticed, then said, "Sounds good.  How long will you be gone?"

"Only an hour or two.  I'll go out to Mountainview, and come back after a short visit.  Shouldn't be too long."

"Fine.  What about feeding Jewel?"

"There are two bottles.  Jack knows how."

"Good, well, when are you going?"

"Not for a little while.  But soon."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Blair turned and went inside, and Shaun headed back to his cottage.  Though he was staying in the house, he wanted to go and clean up a bit and make himself a snack.  He didn't notice "Malcolm," hanging around the side of the house, tending the dying bushes, and taking in their conversation.


***

"Mam.  Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Mammy, I'm afraid.  Things are bad.  I'm . . . not a child anymore, but I feel like one."

"Don't be afraid, Eric.  You're safe."

"I remember now."

"What do you remember, my son?"

"Everything."

"What do you remember?"

"What happened.  When you died.  I was there.  They took me, from Pappy.  They carried him off, and he was crying and yelling.  He wanted to see me, but they stole me away.  I was only six."

"Yes, that is right.  Ya were only six."

"They took my memories, they gave me drugs.  They put things on my head, and electrocuted me, I think.  They worked at it until I forgot ya.  They worked at it until I forgot everything.  Then, someone got me out, Owen, I think he knows the story.  I went to live with Aman and Lily.  But I couldn't remember ya, or Pappy, until now."

"That is good, remembering.  I am happy that ya know."

"Mam, I want ya to come back."

"I can't."

"Can I go with ya, now?"

"I don't know, Eric.  Y'ar a grown man, married now, ya have things to do."

"But, Mam?  Don't go."

"I will always be in y'ar mind.  Ya can see me whenever ya want."

"Mam!  I'm not ready to lose ya.  I can finally see ya, I finally know what ya look like, I remember it myself.  Not from a picture.  I can see ya, holding me in y'ar arms, and reading to me."

"I know.  And I remember, too.  I must go.  Fight, if ya can, my son."

All went black.

***

"What do you want, Runty?"  Jack said, as he spied Sam at his door.

"Nothin.'"

"Okay," he said, turning back to his video game.

"Jack?"

"I thought you said you didn't want anything?"

"Well, I just want to talk to you."

He turned the game to pause, and said, "Okay, what's up?"

"I'm . . . I'm scared, Jack."

"Come over here, Puny."  He patted the bed next to him.  The little boy got onto the bed and rested his head near Jack's shoulder.  "Tell me what's the matter?  Is it those pictures again?"

"Kinda.  They bother me if I think about them.  Dad said the little boy is him.  Why does he look like Ray and why is he so scared?"

"Ray looks like Dad because he's his Ray's father.  He's made from Dad and Mom."

"I don't get that."

"I know.  It's just, well, the way things work.  A part of Dad and a part of Mom made Ray, and Jewel."

"And you, and Starr.  But not me."

"Right."

"Why is he so scared in the pictures?  He said the man is his father, and wouldn't his father never hurt him?"

"Runty, listen."  Jack made his voice more pronounced, and put down his phone.  "Dad would never hurt us.  That doesn't mean all dads are like that.  Remember Zeus?"

"Yeah.  But he was sick, Mom said."

"Still.  He was your father, and he was mean."

"Yeah.  I don't like that Dad had a very bad and mean father."

"Me neither, but it's life, and life basically sucks sometimes."

Sam was quiet for a few minutes.  Then he said, "Jack, did Peter beat up Dad?"

"Yeah."

"Did he shake him, and say mean things?"

"Probably."

"Do you think Dad cried?  Because I don't think so."

"Sometimes, sure he did."

"Oh."

"Is that all you're scared about, Squirt?"

"No.  That guy.  The new one.  He scared me."

"Why?"  Jack was interested.

"He just . . . his eyes don't smile."

Jack squinted, trying to determine what Sam meant.  "What do you mean by that?"

"He smiles, but his eyes don't.  His eyes are like a shark."

For some reason, Jack, all seventeen and a half years of him, got a chill from the base of his spine up to his head.

***


"Dad, why don't we take a break from here, you know, head to my hotel, maybe take a swim?"  Todd suggested.  It had been almost eight hours that Timothy had not moved.

"I can't, Son.  What if he wakes?"

"The hospital will call us."

"I want to be here, when he wakes up, so he sees my face."

"I understand, but your face would scare the heck out of him right now."

"Why?"

"You're so tired.  You need rest, seriously.  You're starting to scare even me."

Timothy sighed.  "I suppose am a bit tired."

"And a nice swim, and then a nap won't hurt.  You can put me up at your place, since it's a luxury hotel."

"A nice treat, it would be, to spend time with ya."

"Then, what do you say?"

He looked at his son in the bed, whose pale face was very still and thin.  "I suppose.  Eric, if ya wake before I get back, know that I love ya."

Todd swallowed, hearing his father say this, and said, "Come on, Dad, let's go.  We'll come back first thing in the morning or if he wakes up."

"Ay, we will."  They walked out.

On the way to the lobby, they passed the chapel.  Todd said, "I bet I know who's in there," and he was right.

Sister Rebecca Katherine had spotted Tina, kneeling in a pew, and went to her.  The two of them were now kneeling, facing the small, simple altar, and praying.  Tina stopped and said, "I don't know why I just feel so wrong doing this."

"That's to be expected.  Ya never relied on The Lord before, and ya don't feel worthy.  But everyone is, if they simply ask."

"Sister, what if . . . what if Aiden dies?"

"Dear," she said, touching Tina's cheek and sliding back up to a sitting position, "The what ifs don't help.  Ya have to believe and have faith in y'arself and y'ar ability to come through this, whatever the outcome.  And, to answer, I don't know."

"It's funny, you know, I never even imagined I'd be in Europe, doing this, married to someone who . . . is sick."

"We sometimes don't know what life has to offer us."

"Just a short while ago, I was staking out Dorian's house, to try and steal that diamond.  Now, it means absolutely nothing to me.  How can that be?"

"It's the way things are, and the way things go." the nun said, "Sometimes, we can't imagine ourselves doing things that we do.  But, we do them."

"I know."

"One thing, I don't want ya feeling badly about the diamond situation.  Ya saved those children, and Todd and Blair, in y'ar own way.  They know that, and so does God."

Tina broke down, and the nun comforted her.  "It will be all right, and whatever comes, ya will be able to handle it.  We'll see to that, we will."

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The Mysterious Samuel Toddman: Chapter 15

Blair and Tomas arrived back at her hotel. She was fit to be tied. They had found where Samuel lived but had missed him. Talk about bad luck. It was as if fate kept stepping in and putting roadblocks in her way. Blair remembered vaguely seeing someone entering a cab as she and Tomas had neared another apartment. She didn't think much of it at that time but in retrospect she was certain that the person who had entered that cab had been Samuel. When she and Tomas had knocked on the door of the next apartment, an elderly gentlemen had answered. Tomas had then asked if Samuel Toddman resided there and had shown the gentleman the picture. To their surprise, they were answered with a Oui. It had been overwhelming to think she was finally going to meet Samuel face to face. But then the landlord dropped the other shoe and informed them that Samuel had gone out for the day. Blair had been stunned. Tomas had thanked the gentleman and they had departed. Blair didn't even remember the ride back to the hotel. The next thing she recalled was Tomas sitting her at the bar and handing her a drink.


"Here Blair, drink this." Tomas said.


Blair took a quick drink and the world righted itself. After a second drink Blair turned to Tomas, "Forgive me, I'm afraid I just lost it there for a time. We found him, but we didn't. I'm so frustrated I can't see straight."


"There is nothing to forgive. It was a bit of a blow to know we had the place where he resides but not him. But we can correct that tomorrow. We will simply call on him in the morning. For now you should get some rest. I can see that today's revelations have taken their toll on you. I will pick you up around nine and we will go to see Monsieur Toddman. Everything is going to be cleared up. You will see." Tomas stood and escorted her back to her room where he wished her a goodnight and left.


Blair put down her bag and the picture and locked the room, but she couldn't relax. "I don't think I can stand to wait till tomorrow. I have to know if Samuel is Todd. I have to know tonight!" she grabbed up her bag and headed back down to the Lobby. She waited, pacing back and forth, until the cab arrived. "#19 Rue Morgue" she informed the driver. Blair wasn't sure what was going to happen when she saw him but her stomach was doing flip/flops in anticipation.


Samuel walked into his apartment. He glanced around making sure everything was where he had left it. The hairs on his neck were once again raised as he recalled the conversation he just had with his landlord. He had just been informed that a couple had been looking for him and they had a picture of him. What did it mean? Why was someone looking for him? Did they have anything to do with Alex? Perhaps it was time to consider moving somewhere else. "I can't leave now, I'm this close to getting my memories back. How much longer do I dare stay? Am I just being paranoid? Perhaps there is a perfectly logical reason someone would be looking for me. No, I've got to leave, I need to be out of here by morning." Samuel started gathering his paintings together. If he worked all night he could leave by mid-morning. Hopefully before anyone else came looking for him.


The cab pulled up to the apartment. Blair looked up and noticed that the lights were on in the apartment that the landlord had said was Samuel's. If she was going to do this she had to do it now before she lost her nerve. Blair headed up the stairs to the apartment door."Ok Blair, it's now or never!" and she knocked.


Samuel stopped what he was doing. There was a knock at his door. Maybe whoever it was would go away if he didn't answer. Then he heard her voice.


"Excuse me. Mr Toddman are you in there? You don't know me but I really need to speak with you. Please if you're there, could we talk?" Blair anxiously asked.


He knew that voice. It was so familiar. The person behind that voice meant something to him and he wasn't waiting any longer to find out who she was. Samuel made quick strides to the door. Everything in him was yelling, "What are you waiting for? Open the damn door!" Samuel opened it.


He couldn't believe his eyes. She was beautiful and she was real. Standing before him was his Muse, his lovely Blair. Where had she come from? How did she know him? Samuel realized he was staring and he started to invite her in, but suddenly she collapsed at his feet.


Samuel reacted quickly and picked up his Muse and carried her gently to his couch. She was truly exquisite. He went to the kitchen to fetch a wet cloth to wipe her brow with. He looked from her to his paintings and marveled that he was really seeing her. Samuel sat down next to her and carefully wiped her forehead. She stirred and opened her eyes. She didn't say anything, just reached up and softly touched his cheek. Samuel flinched afraid of the look he expected next, but it didn't come. Instead she smiled at him and carefully pushed his hair off his face. His breath caught, as he realized she had done that before. She had always touched his hair. He couldn't speak, he just wanted to look and stay there in that moment.


Todd watched also, envious of Samuel. Blair should have been looking at him. Someone had trapped him and they were going to pay. They were going to pay big time. Todd closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel what Samuel was feeling. Those caressing fingers on his cheek and through his hair. He remembered the first time she did that. She had come to him,when he had been all alone that Christmas. She had given him the best Christmas present he had ever gotten. Todd's eyes snapped open. He remembered, suddenly a large crack was heard behind him. He looked around and saw the original crack now extended completely to the top of the enclosure . At the bottom a fissure had opened and memories were starting to seep out. It wasn't going to be long now.


Samuel jerked as the memory hit him and his hand went up to engulf Blair's. He took her hand just like he had done that night so long ago. He didn't know what to do next. Somewhere in his past he'd had a relationship with this woman and a strong one at that. He thought of all the paintings. If they were real scenes from his past then much had happened between himself and Blair. He put her hand down and moved away. He needed to put some space between them at this time until he could figure out what it all meant.


Blair blinked, feeling bereft when Samuel had taken away his hand. Why had he moved away? She gathered herself and sat up. When Samuel had opened the door, she had felt the years fall away as she saw Todd standing in front of her. It wasn't possible but Todd was standing across the room from her. He was older and he had a second scar on his face but the moment she saw him, she knew she was seeing Todd. "Todd, what's the matter? Why did you walk away? Are you still mad at me for something that happened years ago? What's going on?"


Samuel stared at her. Why was she calling him Todd? She had known his name was Samuel at the door but now she was calling him something else. This night had just gone from unbelievable to weird. "Excuse me, but are you alright? I think you have me confused with someone else. My name is Samuel. You came here to talk to me, correct?" If he could get her talking, "Here let me get you a drink. That should help and we can start over." Samuel poured her a glass of wine and brought it over to her. He sat down opposite her. "Perhaps you'd like to tell me what brought you to my home so urgently."


Blair took a deep breath. Just what was Todd up to. He acted like he didn't really know her and like he wasn't Todd. He was putting on some kind of act for her. Why? She looked around the room. All of his paintings were of Vicki, Tea and herself. Blair remembered the young teller telling her Samuel had three women in his life. Were these paintings his three women? What was going on? Samuel handed her a drink and sat down. She heard his question. Where should she begin? "Okay,Samuel, I'm sorry, you remind me of someone I knew named Todd. When I woke up I thought you were him. I'll start at the beginning. I received a painting from my late husband. It depicted a portrait of me during my second wedding to Todd. I came here to find the artist of that portrait and to find out who might have commissioned it. I managed to trace the portrait back to Tomas' Gallery where Tomas informed me that you were the artist of my portrait. You are quite elusive Mr. Toddman, could you perhaps tell me how you were able to paint that portrait? Also could you please tell me where you got such intimate details of my life?”


"Wow!" thought Samuel. "She gets right to the point. Now how do I answer that?" Samuel cleared his throat. " I'm not sure I'm going to be able to answer that. You're right, I'm the artist that painted your portrait but I can only tell you this. No one commissioned me. All of my paintings come from within me. If I see it in here(Samuel points to his head), and feel it here (then points to his heart), I start painting. My dear, I had no idea you were real until you collapsed at my door. You can see what I've painted, are you telling me these depict moments in your life." Samuel sat back as he waited for her answer. He watched her face as she looked around at his paintings of her. She looked at them eagerly then her face became shadowed. As she turned back to him he saw anger and fire in her eyes. God, He'd love to paint her right now.


"How can you do this to me! Just what game are you playing at Todd, you know perfectly well all these moments are real. They're all moments we've shared. Why are you sitting there pretending you don't know me? These paintings are proof you do. Tell me the truth. Why have you been hiding all these years?" Blair was angry. So angry she almost threw her drink at him. He was just sitting there stunned. What was going on?  He wasn't getting angry, in fact he seemed truly confused. In some ways she was reminded of another time in Todd's past when he had appeared confused, but that had been a sham. She thought back to the days when Todd had pretended to have DID like his sister Vicki. He had really been quite good and if he hadn't confessed to her that he was faking, she might have begun to believe that he suffered from the same illness as his sister. " You can drop the act Todd. I'm not sure why you're pretending to be this artist Samuel, but I know better. Just who did you get to paint all of these? We both know you can't paint."


He sat there flabbergasted. She was magnificent when she was angry, but he didn't understand why she kept insisting he was this Todd. Obviously this Todd was someone who she had a strong connection with, and a relationship that must have been extremely volatile. "Whoa... Ms.. I'm sorry I don't know your name. Madame...I assure you that I am Samuel and I am the painter of these paintings. I have no idea who this Todd is that you keep talking about or what you mean by keeping up this act. I am an artist who has been living a rather quiet life until recently, that is until today. I must say since you dropped at my feet not long ago that the day has taken a decidedly delightful and quirky turn. If you would allow me, to prove to you that I am the artist. I would love to do a sketch of the real you. You make my simple paintings of you seem dull by comparison."


Now it was Blair's turn to be stunned. It couldn't be true. Could he really not know he was Todd. It was true he wasn't acting like Todd. She was going to have to call his bluff. If he was Samuel, then he would be able to produce a sketch of her. She needed to figure out what was happening. "Alright Todd, we'll play things your way for now." Blair calmed down. "You say you're Samuel Toddman. I'm going to give you that chance to prove it. Where would you like to do this sketch?"


Samuel stood up not believing his good fortune. He offered his hand to help her up. "Come this way...?" he looked at her askance.


"Blair" she replied and followed him into another room. It was clearly his studio, paints and supplies were everywhere. There was a painting leaning against the wall. Blair gasped when she saw it. That night was emblazoned in her memory. Then she came face to face with the painting on the easel. She looked at it in shock, she had only heard stories of that night but she knew it was the night he had sustained the injury that had left him scarred. "Why was Todd telling all his personal memories to a strange artist and did he really plan to try and sketch her just to keep up this charade?"


Samuel turned at her gasp and saw the painting she was looking at. "Forgive me, Blair. That is one of my darker paintings. Let me remove it. I wouldn't want you disturbed by it." He carefully removed it and placed it out of sight. "There that is better. Would you mind sitting here." He gestured to a settee nestled among some ferns.


Blair sat down. She felt a little self-conscious, was he really going to keep up the act? Oh well, while he pretended to sketch she had a chance to study him. He seemed different that was for sure. There was the beginnings of some grey appearing at his temples and of course there was that new scar on his cheek. Where and when had he gotten that? She recalled the days she had spent looking for him after his disappearance. Blair thought back to the night she had gone to his father's tomb convinced that Mitch had buried him there. It had seemed hopeless. Everyone said he had gone on the run because he had killed Sam and later it had come out that Lindsay was responsible for Sam's death. She had gone through so many different feelings back then. She'd hated him one minute and missed him the next, all the while trying to keep her hopes up that he would come home. When Walker had come into their lives, she had fought tooth an nail not to fall in love with him, but she had. Then everyone began to suspect that Walker was Todd with a new face. That slowly became a reality, and Walker Lawrence ceased to be and Todd took back his life. Walker/Todd was still living Todd's life in Llanview. She would face that mystery when she got home. One mystery at a time and this one was proving to be a doozy.


Todd hadn't been able to take his eyes off her. She looked great and when she had yelled at Samuel, he had wanted to laugh. She was always great on the attack. She really didn't know she wasn't in his presence, but he was pretty sure if Samuel kept drawing, she would soon find out Samuel was real. Damn, he had tried for years to keep that secret. When Sam had forced the issue of his father Peter Manning,he had lost a number of days. He had awaken to find Tom in charge and had quickly stepped back in before anyone realized what had happened. It was funny but his memories surrounding his alters were still somewhat intact. He remembered coming and going a lot during those days as he let Tom and Rodd take over. There was one day that proved to be important to him and the alters but that memory was just out of reach, except for the fact that it had something to do with Blair. It didn't really matter now, Blair was about to find out his alters were real and he was helpless to stop it.


Samuel knew her face like the back of his hand and in no time he was able to capture it on canvas. He wanted to make it special, so he pictured her as if she was a Goddess languishing on a river bank amongst the ferns. Then he reached for his pastels and started putting some color into the picture. She was beautiful, but he had to make her realize he was Samuel. He sensed a lot of anger in her toward this Todd, and he didn't want her to leave before he could figure out what his connection was to both her and Todd. He knew another key to his puzzle had arrived at his door this night. She was as important to regaining his memories as Alex was. Samuel also sensed that he would have to be careful. Alex was mixed up in something dangerous and he didn't want anything to happen to Blair as he tried to unravel his lost past. He paused to look at his work. As always she was still his Muse and he cleared his throat to get Blair's attention.


Blair looked over at him. Aware more then ever how strange it seemed to be sitting here with Todd. Was he finally going to come clean and show her he had just been pretending. How much longer was he going to continue this? She smiled and said. " Are you finished already? You're not going to keep this farce up are you? I know you didn't paint these." she waved her hand toward the art in the room. Samuel smiled enigmatically. "Oh okay, show me this great work" Blair held out her hands. Samuel walked over and placed the canvas in her hands then stood back to see her reaction.


Blair was speechless. The piece of artwork in her hands was phenomenal. He appeared to have captured her in the midst of thought. She felt special because she sensed love coming from the canvas. He had indeed put feeling into the canvas and it was for her. She looked up. This was Todd but it wasn't. A thought entered her mind and this time it took root. What if everything that had happened in the past wasn't faked? Could it really be true? If it was, then the impossible was probable and that meant one thing. The man in front of her right now was Samuel. My God, she was in the presence of an alter and his name was Samuel Toddman.

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Failings of the Fathers: 50

Shaun headed into the yard and spotted Malcolm, digging out the edges of the garden that he was planning.  The man seemed into what he was doing, to the point he hardly noticed Shaun coming.

Shaun stopped just a few feet away and said, "Hey, Malcolm?  I wanted to introduce myself.  I'm Shaun, head of security for The Mannings."

Malcolm stood, leaning on the shovel, and Shaun extended his hand.  He said, "I'd shake, but my hands are really filthy from all this garden work."

Shaun nodded.  "Nice to meet you.  You're, uh, working up quite a situation here.  Deciding on a garden plot?"

"Yes, I've decided to create the vegetable garden here.  Mrs. Manning instructed me to consider the best place.  This has the type of sunlight that would work best, unlike the side of the house, where the snow pile is.  Too much shade."

Shaun watched the man, carefully.  He didn't seem "weird," and he felt he would have to question Sam later to determine the origin of that statement.  He said, "Seems right.  The Mannings are very special to me.  I've been with them many years.  From before Mr. Manning's return."

"Return from where?"  Malcolm said.

"Captivity.  He was held by a terrorist group for eight years."

"Ah, of course.  He mentioned something about that."

Shaun squinted slightly, and attempted to size the man up.  He appeared to be a regular Joe, was working hard, didn't strike him as anything unusual.  But his expression, at times, lapsed into something he was not sure he could read.  He continued, "Yeah, sad about his brother though."

"Yes.  His brother is a friend of mine, back in Swiggerland, as Sam says."

"Sam, I see you've met.  Quite an interesting kid."

"Is he the one who's not their real child?"

Shaun thought about the question, and watched the man's eyes.  Suddenly, he didn't like what he saw.  "Yeah, he's the one.   I trust you understand where I am coming from.  I'm very protective of them, so if I seem a little, I don't know, curious, it has to do with that fact."

"There's nothing to know, really.  I'm an open book, Shaun.  I'm here to do my job, and that's that.  Aside from this, I don't see how my personal life and information reflects on anything here.  You may be close to the children and the family, but I'm a simple worker."  He went back to shoveling.

Shaun watched a moment and realized he had his hands full with Mr. Malcolm Carlisle.

He headed back to the house, just in time to see Blair, turning on the computer to set up talking time with Todd.  He said, "Okay, that was more than interesting."

"What, Malcolm?"  Blair said, setting up the screen.

"Yeah.  I'm . . . inclined to side with Sam on this."  Shaun said.

"What do you mean?"

"He's weird, according to your second son."

"I don't understand, though, he's been through a lot.  Todd has conveyed a lot of Malcolm's past to me.  It makes sense he would seem awkward around us.  He lost everything."

"I guess you're right," he said,  "Maybe it's the medication.  But I know you'll understand why I am going to spend more time around him."

"I think that's fine.  Perhaps he can use a friend."  Blair said.

Shaun didn't think he would ever consider the man a friend, but he had been wrong before, on rare occasions.  Nevertheless, Todd paid him to keep his family safe, and that was his ultimate plan.

***

"Hey, Babe.  You look beautiful,"  Todd said.  It was one of the things she loved about the changes in him since he returned; he was more open and able to accept and give love.  She loved how verbal he had become.

"Thank you, my husband, and I love you," she said.  "So, Aiden?"

"The same."

"Oh, no.  That's not good."

***

Outside, the Manning's new gardener was finishing up with edging the new garden, and the sun was warming his skin through his work clothes and jacket.  He looked up, surveying the house.  Todd Manning had made quite a life for himself and his wife.  He had made a family.

The man went back toward the shed to deposit his tools, before heading to the cottage at the far side of the property.

***

"I'm going to see your mother," she added, and she could see how tired he was in his face.  He looked as though he had not slept, and she knew how tough it was, at times, for him to do so without her.  

"That's good.  When is that?"

"Maybe in a day or two.  I wanted the kids to babysit, together, since Shaun seems to have taken on this security job you've given him with a particular sudden seriousness."

"He'd better be serious, but what's that about?"

"He's just sensitive to something Sam said.  Seems Malcolm struck both Sam and Shaun as 'weird.'  I can't place it, but, of course, I understand more about his story than they do.  To me, he seems just as you said, maybe just a bit more mature than you let on."

"Why is he weird?"

"I don't know.  I guess he rubs them the wrong way."

"That's kind of weird, itself, Blair.  The guy's just trying to make his way.  Besides, maybe it's the drugs.  Oh, and by the way, tell the guy to answer his phone will ya?  His old friend Miguel's been trying to call him."

***

Malcolm made his way to his cottage, and opened the door.  He flung it open carelessly, and then caught the knob, stopping the door from slamming.  Inside, he made his way to the kitchen, and opening the refrigerator, he searched for something to eat.  The whole thing was stocked, not with necessarily his favorites, but with a good start.  He fished out some eggs, cheese and butter, and began to cook them in a cast iron pan that was left there for his use.

"Hmf, pretty nice.  My own little place, and access to everything I need."

***

"I'll tell him.  I'd rather go to see Momma tonight, but not sure the kids are available.  I think it's good for them to spend time as a family.  I want Starr to come, and then she and Jack can manage the kids for a while."

"That sounds like a good idea.  Responsibility, and family time.  Why not?"

"No reason, that's why it's going to happen.  In fact, when I get off the phone with you, I'm going to call Starr and see when she's available to come and help out."

"I'm sure Shaun could do it?"

"Well, he seems bent on other things, plus I really feel it's good for the kids to do this once in a while."

"Not a bad idea."

"Todd, you seem so tired.  Are you sleeping?"

"No, I'm wide awake, can't you see me?"

"I mean at night, are you sleeping at night?"

"I know, and no."

"Can I help?"

"Not unless you're going to drop everything and come out here and sing me to sleep."

***

The eggs tasted particularly good, and he'd made a slice of toast to accompany his small omelet.  Looking around the cottage, he realized that it was warmly furnished, complete with a small fireplace.  He went to it, picked up a few logs and threw them in.  He made a note to himself that more wood had to be gotten or cut, and then looked for something to light it with.  The day's Sunday paper was in the cottage, perfectly laid out, and he smiled.  "That will do," he said aloud.

***

Blair said, "I'm hoping things get better with Aiden, Todd."

"Me, too."

"And don't worry about us, everything's cool."

"I know.  You're lucky, you're all together and I'm out here, alone."

"Not for long.  Just think of it that way."

"I guess.  So, shall we say goodnight?  Or for you, good afternoon?"

"Okay.  If you can't sleep tonight, just call me.  I'll be here, especially after 6 my time, if I go and see Momma, I'd be back by then."

"All right.  I love you, and I miss our life."

"Our life's not gone, Todd, it's just on vacation."

"Well, I miss it.  I can't wait to see you again, in person."

"Same here.  I love you, so much."

"Night."

***

In the groundskeeper's cottage, two able hands folded the paper into a cylinder, and looked around for matches.  "None.  Too many kids around for that."

He went into his room, which was a small area off the main room.  Perfectly cozy, if you liked that sort of thing.  Opening his suitcase, he put a few things on the bed, and a few inside the dresser drawers, before taking his lighter out of the side pocket.  Shining it, absentmindedly on his pants, he returned to the main room and used it to light the paper before tossing it into the firebox.  He watched the flames lick up possessively over the newsprint.  He said, "There we go," aloud, and flicked the lighter a few times.

Just then, he heard a familiar ring.  That phone.  It rang too often.  He retrieved it from his back pocket and looked at it.  Staring onto the display screen, he made no effort to answer, as the name flashed, "Miguel."  Instead, he frowned and said, "Fucking loser," and tossed the phone onto the table in front of him.

He sat back and reviewed the events of the day.  It had been easier than he thought when he'd run into his not-so-old old friend at the airport in Zurich.  In fact, the guy hadn't put up much of a fight before he'd taken a custodial broom to him, and beat him until he stopped moving.  It was simpler than he thought, and he remembered with a smile how he'd carefully moved him into a closet off the men's room, and jammed the lock with a broken toothpick.  He'd learned that somewhere, years back.  

He sighed, feeling as though he'd completed quite a task, and had to admit he was very satisfied with himself.  "Now, for the rest of it."  

He flicked his lighter to the end of his cigarillo and puffed.

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Failings of the Fathers: 49

The following day, the sun was brighter than before.  It was Sunday, and the kids were home again.  Jack had slept in, Sam was up, bright and early, and poking in and out of Shaun's room to taunt him into waking.

Blair stirred, ready to nurse Jewel.  It was feeding time, and the little girl was awake, but just quietly playing with her feet.  Blair turned over and looked at her baby daughter, who could be seen over the rim of the basket.  "Well, hello, you!  You're awake before Mommy, and you didn't even cry!  Come here," she said, lifting her and bringing her to her breast.

Meanwhile, Ray was throwing toys out his door and calling Sam to get them.   Sam, on the other hand, was running between Bitsy's room, where he was teasing Shaun with a feather off his Native American Thanksgiving costume from a few years back, and Ray's room, where he was fishing toys out of the hall.  Finally, he plopped down in Ray's room, at the foot of his toddler bed, and said, "Can you stop now, Ray?  I'm tired."

"No.  No stop."  He shook his head and threw.

"Then you have to get the toys yourself, because I'm not going to anymore.  I'm pooped."

"Sam pway with me.  Get toys, and I throw toys."

"No, you're not supposed to throw toys.  What did Dad say to you?"

"Daddy said be good boy."

"Right.  So cut it out."  Sam got up and walked out, but not before a stuffed zebra bonked him off the back of the head.

He decided instead to take Mixie and go outside.  He stopped by Blair's door.  "Excuse me, Mom, can I go outside?"

"I guess so.  Is anyone out there?"

"Just that new guy.  I think he's working on the garden you wanted."

"I guess.  Just stay near the house where I can see you, and you can hear me.  No woods, at all, whatsoever."

"Okay," he said, and ran down the stairs.  He woke Mixie, and took him on his leash outside.  The air was fresh and very cool, and Sam wondered how the snow in places was still there with all the sun.  Malcolm was working, so he decided to ask him about it.  He marched himself over, with his dog in tow, and said, "Hey, Mister.  Why doesn't the snow melt?"

"It's cold, that's why."

"Oh.  But, there's sun."

"The sun doesn't take away the cold.  It just warms it up a little."

"Okay.  What are you doing?"

"Plotting out this garden that your mom wants."

"Okay.  Is that hard?"

"Not really."

"Oh.  Can I watch you?"

Malcolm looked up, and made eye contact with the little boy.  Sam was, again, unsure of how to take the man's expression, until he smiled, and said, "Yes, why not?"

Sam waited there, watching, quietly, until the man was finally done with measuring out and edging the patch that would be the vegetable garden.  Then he said, "You're quiet for a young kid."

"I can be.  But Dad says I can be a loud mouth, too."

"Your Dad.  Tell me more about him."

"You already know him.  You met him in Swiggerland, remember?"

"In Switzerland, yes, I did.  But, what else do you like about him?"

"He's nice.  He loves me.  He takes me places, and he does things with me.  He saves us.  He saved us last week, when a bear came."

"A bear huh?  A real one?"

"A mommy one.  She was upset about her babies.  Dad saved us, he made us run to safety and faced her alone."

"So, he can do just about anything, can't he?"  Malcolm said.

Something about the man puzzled Sam.  He said, "Yeah.  He's a good father."

The man drove the shovel into the ground, and leaned on the handle.  He said, "You know Sam, this is hard work."

"Yeah, it looks like it."

"Why don't you come with me to my cottage, and we can have a little glass of lemonade?"

Sam looked up, and studied Malcolm's expression,  He felt himself backing away and sad, "No, I don't really like lemonade.  Thanks, anyway."

"Well, what about some soda, or some milk and cookies?"

For some reason, Sam thought about the bad man that had his father in Ireland, and then, his teacher's words at school.  Don't go with strangers.  If you're scared, yell "stranger danger" and run.

"No, but thanks.  I think I will go back in now.  Come on, Mixie," he said, and Malcolm just stood, watching.

Sam opened the glass doors, and went inside, and straight up the stairs to Jack's room.

Jack said, "Geez, Runty, you woke me up.  What the heck is going on?"

"I don't know, but that guy is weird."

"What guy?"

"The new garden man, from Swiggerland."

"Cut it out.  I was asleep."

"I mean it, Jack.  He's weird.  He just is."

"Okay, so he's weird.  So what?  Just let me sleep a little longer."

Sam shrugged and went to Shaun's room.  He pushed Shaun's shoulder until the man turned over.  "Yeah, what, Buddy?"

"I just wanted to say that guy's weird."

"What guy?"

"The new garden man, from Swiggerland."

Shaun laughed, beside the fact that he was still listening.  "What do you mean?"

"I dunno.  He's just weird."

"Okay.  I'll get up and go talk to him, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks.  Me and Mixie felt weird," he said, and went to Ray's room.

Ray said, "Sam!  Sam pway!"

"Okay, I'll play.  It's better than being outside right now."

***

"That's Miguel, isn't it?"  Todd asked.

Timothy said, "Yes.  That's him."

They headed toward him.  The younger man was sitting alone, eating.  Todd said, "Hey do you mind?"

"No, not at all, come on and join me."

They both put their trays down, and sat. 

Miguel finished chewing and said, "So, how is Aiden doing?"

"It's more of the same.  He's in a coma, non-responsive."

"God."  He said, putting his fork down.  "I'm sorry."

"It's not over yet."  Todd said.  

"No, it can't be."  Timothy added.

"We'll just keep hoping," Miguel said.  "He's a great guy."

"So, you're pretty much on your own, without him, huh?"  Todd asked.

"Yeah, I guess so."  Miguel ate his dinner with gusto.

"I know Malcolm got there okay, he's already started getting into his work."

"Really," he said, wiping his mouth and swallowing, "that's good to know.  I haven't been able to reach him by phone.  As a matter of fact, I was going to try again tonight."

"He seems to be adjusting well enough, according to Blair."

"Well, good.  I can only assume Blair is your wife?"  Miguel asked.

"Yep."

"Tell me about her, I can use the distraction."

"She's . . . I can only put it how Malcolm did about his wife.  She's everything."

"I see.  Any pictures?"

"He has a bloody menagerie,"  Timothy said.

"Well, break them out," Miguel said, and Todd was very willing. 

Ray, his long curls and little smile.  Jewel yawning in her basket.  Blair, her hair tucked behind an ear, hugging Sam, whose glasses were crooked.  Starr, petting Hope's head.  Jack, arm around Jenna, smiling.

Miguel handed the phone back to Todd.  "They're awesome.  All yours?"

"Not the little blonde toe-head.  She's my granddaughter.  And, that's my son's girlfriend."

"You're lucky.  A nice family."

"Thank you."

"They're great folks.  Maybe ya can meet them someday."  Timothy said.

"Maybe.  If I ever get back to home, to America."  Miguel was finished.  He put his napkin on the tray and said, "Well, it's been really nice speaking with you.  I'm off to group therapy.  I will check in on Aiden later, and hope to give a quick call to Malcolm.  I never thought I would miss him much, but  . . . I was wrong."

Todd noticed the man was a little wistful, as he carried his tray to the front.

Timothy said, "Sad.  Something very endearing and sorrowful about that boy, eh?"

"Something like that.  Remind me, Dad, to tell Blair to tell that guy to answer his phone.  Maybe Miguel forgets the time difference."

"I'd have to agree.  It always messes me up and confuses me.  But of course, I'm an old man, and y'ar young."

"I don't feel so young.  I have a granddaughter!"

"Yes, indeed.  But in spirit, you're a boy, like Jack."

"Really?  I was thinking more like Sam."

***

Tina was sitting, her hands clasped over Aiden's, her face stained with the remnants of tears.  She had just finished another of her crying bouts, at his bedside.  She hadn't had a meal recently, and couldn't remember the last time she ate.  Worse, she didn't care anymore.

She looked at him, his handsome, chiseled features marred with hospital tape, nose tube and bandages.  She longed to see his stunning blue eyes, and wished, constantly, for them to flutter open and him to say, "Little Tina," to her.

Watching the clock didn't make it happen.

She went into her purse and pulled out the rosary.  It was given to her at St. Anne's and yes, she, Tina Lord Clayton Etcetera, had learned how to say it.  She began it quietly by his bed, forcing her tears to stay back from falling.  "I believe in God, the Father Almighty . . ."

She looked up.  At the door was Sister Rebecca Katherine.  She got off her knees and ran to her, sobbing onto her shoulder.

"There, there, Tina, Dear, it's all right."

"Oh Sister," she cried, "Sister, I can't."

"What can't ya do, Dear?"

"I can't watch him die.  He's so alive.  It's so wrong, like that," she could barely utter her words, and cried more onto her friend's shoulder.

"Tina, Dear, listen.  There is nothing ya can do but let the good Lord do His will.  Ya know that."

She cried like a child in the clergywoman's arms.  She said, "I tried to pray, I was just starting.  How you taught me."

"Ya should finish."

"I can't, Sister."

"Ya can, and ya should.  Why not?  The Lord hears.  Come on," the nun put her arm around Tina and turned her toward the chair.  "Come, let's sit together."

The two of them went to the chairs, one they had brought in, because there were never enough chairs in the room with all the guests he'd been having.  She realized that the RA21 boys had left, after the surgery had failed, and said their own tearful goodbyes, while at the same time, never really admitting that Aiden was gone, or would be.  Most were "I'll see ya later, Pal," and things like that.  But their faces when they left were filled with such sadness, she had crumbled when they departed.  

She picked up the rosary, that was on Aiden's bed, near his hand, where she had dropped it.  She held it and said, "I never cared about this stuff before."

"There's always a first time."

"I . . . feel guilty asking for help when I never cared what God thought."

"I understand, but He does, too.  He doesn't care about the past.  Y'ar His child.."

She closed her eyes.  When she started again, Todd and Timothy walked in.  Todd said, "What the heck?  Who's that strawberry blonde with the beads?"

"Todd," the nun admonished.

"Sister, I missed ya," he imitated.  He went to her and hugged her out of her chair.

"Well, I was not expecting that, nephew.  Brotha," Sister Rebecca Katherine said, now that she was standing.

His face twisted in grief.  "Creena," he croaked out.

She went to him and held him in her arms, and said, "God be with ya, I'm sorry for this trouble."

"Creena, I am glad to see ya, even though it's sad circumstances."

"Heck, the guy's not dead, no wakes allowed," Todd said, and sat by Tina, who was still distraught.

"I was going to pray," Tina said.

"You?  Are you sure God gets your channel?"

"Todd, now," the nun said.

"What?  Just asking."

"Stop it, y'ar acting a little bit like a child."

"See, Dad, you were right earlier."

Timothy could not help but smile, and knew that Todd was deflecting.  He'd forgotten how hard the emotion around his adopted son was for him, but it was showing.  He'd called Todd, the evening before, right after his phone call with Blair, and could tell he had been crying.  Timothy knew, but never acknowledged it or even tried to bring it up.  Todd would be overwhelmed with the emotion of others, and beat it into the ground with snark and humor.  He said, "I was, but rather, ya were, when ya compared y'arself to Sam, not Jack."

"Yeah, that's about right."

The nun said, "Todd, shouldn't ya be getting back to the hotel?  I think that Blair was wanting to talk to ya about y'ar mother and some plans."

"Okay, it is almost about that time when she calls me.  Jewel goes down for a nap and she usually Skypes then.  You're right."  To her amazement, Todd leaned down and kissed his sister's head.  "It's going to be okay," he said, in a different, softer tone.  "He's tough, like his father."

He went toward the door, and stopped in front of Timothy.  "I love you, Old Man, for what it's worth.  Don't give up on him, he's just . . . resting."  And he was gone.

The nun said, wiping under her eyes, "That boy, he never ceases to touch me, right here," she pointed to her heart.

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Failings of the Fathers: 48

"I'll have to be going, Doctor.  I appreciate ya helping me bring my bags down.  My nephew is in dire straights in Switzerland, and my brotha needs me."  The nun was harried, and having run into Ray Martino in the lobby, unintentionally convinced him to help her vacate Mountainview.  

In opening the door, her feet shuffled on something, and they both looked down.  It was another drawing from Bea.  Ray said, "Well, I'd guess that soon, she'll have to come out of it.  She's trying desperately to tell us something."

"And I think I know what it is," the nun, studying the drawing, said.

***

"Hey, are you the new guy?"  Sam said, watching Malcolm discard leaves from one of the gutters.

"Well, have you seen me before?"

"No."

"Then I guess I'm the new guy.  What's your name?"

"Sam."

"Sam," he repeated, and the child wasn't sure of what to make of his initial reaction.  Then, Malcolm smiled.  "Well, hello, Sam."

"Hi."

"I'm Malcolm.  Malcolm Carlisle."

"Well, nice to meet you.  I'm going to play in the gazebo.  I make it into my stage for the Spiderman show."

"Oh, Spiderman, eh?"

"Yeah, he's my favorite.  But my dad's better."

Malcolm paused.  Then, he said, "Oh, your dad is special, huh?"

"Yep.  He's not here.  He's in Swiggerland."

"Switzerland.  Yes, he is."

"Runty, get in the house.  Mom wants you for something."  Jack called from the door.  Sam ran off, after saying goodbye to Malcolm.

***

As they studied the paper, and Ray waited for Sister Rebecca Katherine's thought to complete, Clyde came into view.  He was just getting off shift.  He said, "Hey, Doc, Sister."

"Hi Clyde," Ray said.  "Anything new?"

"Just that woman downstairs.  I had to direct her back to her room again last night.  Such a shame, really."

"What do you mean?"  Sister Rebecca Katherine asked him, still holding Bea's drawing.

"She was walking all around this hall, like she was lost.  Lucky I recognized her from doing the lower level on Pablo's night off.  Anyway, she was, like, in a trance or something?"

"A trance, can you explain more?"  Ray asked.

"It reminded me of my brother, when we was kids?  Like sleepwalking.  That's what I thought.  I know you ain't supposed to wake them, do I didn't.  I just sorta pushed her along softly, until she got back to her room."

"Which room?"  The nun asked.

"The one right under this one, Sister."

"Thanks, Clyde." Ray said, and the man nodded and left.

"Whatever does it mean, Doctor?"

"Bea's drawing and walking in her sleep.  Trying to tell you something."

"Well, look at this.  Ya can tell exactly what she's thinking, ya can."

The drawing was different than her others.  It was more childlike, not as precise.  It was a roughly-sketched skull and crossbones.  On the back, it said, He's coming.

"This makes no sense," Ray said, absently, for he knew that it did make sense, in a way.

"It makes sense, if ya believe this sort of thing.  Otherwise, no, it doesn't."

"Well, we're assuming who it is she means."  The nun held her tongue, and Ray could tell she was doing just that.  He said, "It can be a number of things, could mean death is coming, could mean the bear the family dealt with."

"And it could be good Saint Nicholas, or the Easter Bunny.  For goodness sake, she's talking about Peter.  Ya either have a very delusional woman on y'ar hands, or someone who has developed knowings."

"Knowings?"

"Seeing things ahead of time.  She's been right about a few, namely, making a basket for that precious little babby."

He didn't respond.  Instead, he said, "Well, Sister, I won't hold you up.  What I'll do is take care of all this," he carefully took the drawing from her, "and let Blair know.  She's planning to come and visit soon, so I'll share with her.  I was going to call Todd, but I realized he has his plate full with your nephew's illness."

"Yes, I agree.  I'll be on my way, if ya can kindly help me to the limo."

"I'll be glad to, Sister."

"And don't underestimate our minds and more, our spirits," she said.

***


Blair put the baby into her basket, and looked out the glass panes into the yard.  She could see Malcolm, puttering around the beds, doing light weeding.  He had already cleared the gutters and transferred the decaying leaves and debris into the woodline.  She looked out over the yard and realized that Todd had created all of it just for them: her and his children.

Just the night before, her son had taken the time and initiative to arrange private time for Blair to spend with Todd, alone, via internet.  She'd brought the laptop into the bedroom and set it on the coffee table by the fireplace, her feet up as she made herself comfortable on the sofa.  It had taken him quite a while to come to the screen, and she was patient.  She had on his favorite negligee, and of course, it was red.  It fit her like a glove, seductively, even after just having given birth to Jewel.

She had listened to him tell her about his day: the deeper, more intimate details of the situation with Malcolm, which he shared with her like a story that had lulled her into imagining him supporting this stranger in a profoundly personal moment.  But something in her husband sounded so desolate and alone as he explained the remainder of the day.  The results of Aiden's surgery, and Todd's being overwhelmed by the emotion of his sister and father, made her feel her heart would shatter.  He needed her, and whatever it took, across the miles, he would have her as a source of comfort, whatever way he needed.

That was when she got up and stepped back from the camera and undressed for him,  watching him lick his lips and watch her.  She drove him wild, intentionally, in her slow, bewitching movements, and with her wispy, sultry words, encouraged him to pleasure himself as he watched.  He obliged, and she became enthralled with seeing him, which lead to her participation.  They both enjoyed their escapade and laughed when it was completed.

Today, she longed for him, so much, just to hold him, comfort him, and hear him breathe next to her.  She knew her place was with the children, but she had a slight regret that she did not insist they all pack up and go with him, since he had spent so much of the last decade alone, it was hard for him to be apart from them.  

Instead, she planned things that would please him: a welcome home dinner, his favorites; the children making a banner to hang for him; more Skype calls, if there were time; and a day pampering him when he returned.  As well, she was finalizing a visit to Bea, which would be very soon, possibly the next day, depending on Starr and Jack.  She wanted her children to learn to care for each other, so that they had each other to rely on throughout their lives.  And so, her mood changed from reflective to determined, and she left the windows and took out her diary to make notes for her plans.

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