Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 37

Todd looked at his brothers and Ms. Perkins and was relieved to see they were none the worse for the ordeal they had all gone through. "Thank God you're all here. Everybody okay."

"If you call being blind okay, then yeah we're okay" griped Pete.

He looked at his brother and shrugged "Yeah but we're alive. I think I'll take that, and whether you, believe it or not, I'm glad I didn't lose you guys. Another thing at least we can see in here. Now I need each of you to take a turn briefly and see what you see out of my eyes. I'm hoping one of you might be able to make out more than I can, every little difference could help. Pete, you're so anxious to do something, you take first look."

Pete looked at Todd surprised then jumped to his feet and disappeared. He regretted it the minute he did. "Fuck! That no good son of a bitch..he could've warned me. " He opened his eyes and saw nothing. He looked around and saw a little light but nothing that would help tell what he was looking at. "Shit. At least inside I don't feel helpless," he went back to Samuel's room  "No good, For me everything was gray. Thanks a lot for warning me about the head, Todd."

"Sorry Pete, Okay who’s next." Ms. Perkins stood up, but Todd stopped her. "No, you should stay here.  Pete's right the headache is brutal. After I've had a chance to recuperate you can take a look. Rodd, do you think you can handle a headache for a few moments?

"Yes, I'ma sure I can." Rodd popped out and like Pete immediately hated it. "My poor a head this is no good," he slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. He found he could make out certain shapes especially when a young nurse walked by "Cara Mia" he whispered. In his head, he heard "Rodd shut up." He immediately shut his eyes and retreated back to Samuel's room. "I'ma sorry but she had quite a figure."

Todd looked at him in surprise "You mean you could actually make out a figure?"

"Si.  She was gray, but ooh the shape mmmwwwah magnificent." said Rodd'

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Rodd can make out shapes. That's a start. Alright,Tom do you want to try? You don't have to stay long. The head really hurts so you don't have to if you don't want to." said Todd looking at young Tom.

"Todd I want to do this. I'm not that young. I can take a little pain." Tom said looking hurt.

Todd looked at Tom and said "I know you can, but that doesn't mean I want you to feel it. If you're sure, I really do need your input. Tom, if Blair is there you can talk to her but if the Doctor is there come back and tell me."

Tom nodded and found himself lying down "Owww, boy that hurts. Sheesh, this is the pits." He opened his eyes and looked around the room, careful to move his head slowly. "I don't know Todd, it's kinda bright. I see some blobs, different colors. Some gray, some blue and some blob that's red." he became quiet when he realized someone was walking toward him. "Hello who's there?" he asked. Whoever it was, was wearing yellow.

Blair came over to Todd when she saw his eyes opened and realized that he had seen her coming. Michael was coming shortly, could Todd's sight be coming back. "Todd, it's Blair, can you see me?"

"Hi Blair, no it's me, Tom, I'm here helping Todd. I can't see you, but I can tell you're wearing something yellow.  Right?" Tom asked to get confirmation.

Blair was disappointed that it wasn't quite as she had hoped, but she said encouragingly "That's right Tom I have on a yellow blouse. Is Todd around? Dr. McBain will be here shortly."

"Oh Sure, I'll tell him, don't worry he'll be right back. You doin' alright Blair?" Tom asked before leaving

Blair smiled at him. Bless Tom, he always thought of everyone. "Yes Tom, I'm doing fine. I'm just worried about you guys."

"Hey, don't worry about us, we'll get this figured out. You wait and see. Okay, I'm going to go now, and, by the way, he won't say anything but his head is hurting a lot." He looked at her blob and felt her give him a kiss. "Gee thanks, bye now."

Blair watched his eyes close and waited for her husband to return. Michael walked in and came over to take a look at his patient. "I hear he's awake. How's he doing"

From the bed Todd spoke, "Well, he's got a splitting headache for one. How long before it goes away Doc?" he turn his head in the direction of Michael's voice.

"I just have a few questions I need to be answered. Do you want to help me out? said Michael "Let's start with, tell me your Name."

For one quick second Todd almost answered Todd Manning but remembered and said "Samuel Toddman" he was grateful he hadn't lost his memory again and that the surgery hadn't wiped out his alters.

"Just a few more questions Samuel. What year is it?" Michael asked.

"It's 2011 in July " replied Todd

"What do you do for a living?" he asked next.

Todd answered. "I'm an artist." Todd hoped Michael didn't have too many more questions his head was pounding.

Michael had gotten out his flashlight and was flashing it in front of Todd's eyes but realized although the pupils were reacting, Todd was not. "One last question. What color is my shirt?"

Todd's head came up and he struggled to see color, but all he saw was gray. "Unfair Doc. You should give a guy some warning when you're going to spring a trick question on him. I'll tell you what I see. There's a gray blob standing in front of me surrounded by light gray. That's it and I can see the blob move. Is it hopeless or too soon to tell?"

Michael put the light away and said. " It's hard to say, Samuel.  There is good news, it appears your memory wasn't affected.   Unfortunately, two of the wires that were removed were in the occipital lobe of your brain and that lobe tells your brain what you see. There was some damage and there is probably some swelling of the tissue around the area where the wires were removed. As everything isn't totally black you might regain some of your vision back after everything heals, for now, it's a waiting game. I'm putting you on some medication that should help bring the swelling down and with luck maybe you'll get some improvement."

Michael patted Todd's shoulder. "Just hang in there, that last wire I took out almost killed you. I also noticed the chip was beginning to corrode and that could have had serious side effects if it had remained in you much longer. All in all, you are incredibly lucky to have found out it was there. We're getting you a room ready and since I know you're on your honeymoon I've arranged for your wife to stay with you. We're going to be monitoring you for at least 48 hrs I want to make sure you have no complications from the surgery. Anything else I can answer Samuel?" asked Michael.

Todd reached out and Blair took his hand and he drew her closer to him. "No, I guess you've answered everything you can. By the way Thank You, you saved my life and I'm grateful.  Dr. Wolek was right. You were the best man for the job."

Todd and Blair talked about everything Michael had said and then Blair let Todd rest, so she could contact Starr and Vicki and tell them what had happened.

Blair wasn't sure how she was going to tell Starr about the surgery. They hadn't even been able to warn her because it had all happened so fast. Well, it was done now so she would just have to get on with it and let Starr know the results. She waited as Starr's phone rang. then Starr picked up. "Starr, Hi hon. The honeymoon has been cut short, but we're not coming home right away."

At the other end of the call, Starr heard something in her mother's voice that scared her."Mom, talk to me, what happened to D.."she stopped herself she didn't know if someone might be monitoring her calls, after everything that had happened recently she was being extra careful. "What happened to Samuel?"

Blair knew she was going to have to handle this carefully "Starr, Samuel had a mishap that required immediate surgery and there was no way to contact you at the time. It was touch and go for a while. He made it through the surgery but not unscathed. Samuel has lost his vision for now and we don't know if it's permanent or temporary. We will be staying here a couple more days because the Doctors want to make sure there are no more complications."

"Are you saying he's blind?  Mom, Samuel lives for his art. He must be devastated. Hope and I can catch the next plane if you want company." Starr was numb. Her dad had lost his vision, what had happened? She knew her mom was being vague because they were both worried about Carlo Hesser listening in. She wanted to be there for her father. Even as she suggested the flight she knew her Mom was going to say no. She couldn't believe it, once again he was facing a challenge and this time she just wanted to cry. Her dad had been through enough, it wasn't fair. When was God going to give him a break? They had been so happy a couple of days ago at their wedding. He had been charming and engaging with all the people at the wedding, even Aunt Dorian hadn't managed to take away his happiness that night and by the time the evening was over, she had felt like her dad had felt a part, a true part, of the family surrounding him. For the first time standing in that beautiful home he had built for her mom, her father had finally joined his family. He was no longer just outside looking in.  Before she could say anything else her mom spoke again.

Blair heard the concern in her daughter's voice and knew Starr wanted to add her support to her father during this time. But she knew Todd wouldn't want all the fuss. "Starr I need you to just stay home. Samuel is taking this setback quite well actually. He wouldn't want you to fret. He cares deeply for you and he felt you should know about what happened. We're going to be fine and you just need to keep the faith that this is a temporary problem, that's what Samuel is doing and if he can do that, then so can we. I'll let you know when we'll be coming home. Let your brother and everyone there know what has happened, will you? I love you, so does Samuel. Bye for now." Blair hung up.

She prepared to call Vicki and decided to reach her at the Banner. She knew Carlo might have bugged Vicki's house but she didn't think he would bother with the Banner offices. He would figure that Todd would be careful to only try reaching Vicki at home. She made the call and waited, hoping Vicki was in the office. Vicki picked up and Blair sighed in relief. "Vicki this is Blair, it's over. He's alive... Oh my God, Vicki it was horrific. The damn thing triggered and Michael had to do the surgery early. We've got the item but there was a cost."

Vicki sat at her desk stunned. When she first heard Blair's voice she had feared the worse. At Blair's next words she had started breathing again. Her brother was alive. Then she heard the rest. "Blair slow down. First, he's okay that's the main thing. Are his memories intact? I know he was so afraid of losing them? Now tell me exactly what happened." She listened as Blair told of the drive back to the bungalow and how Todd had fallen asleep only to scream and pass out. She then told Vicki how the surgery went and how they had almost lost him when another heart attack had been triggered. Vicki listened as Blair described what happened and felt Blair's fear when she heard about the attack. Then Blair told her about the cost. Vicki's heart wrenched as she heard her brother was blind. It was no wonder he always felt cursed. She had never seen a man more plagued than her brother. He couldn't seem to escape his past and he always felt he deserved everything that came at him because of his sins. She had tried for years to tell him there was no such thing as a curse. Now she might have to change her mind about that. She tried to sound positive as she said "Blair the main thing is he's alive. He's a fighter. I have every reason to believe he'll weather this too. When do you think you'll be home?"

"The doctors want to make sure there are no further complications with the surgery so he'll be under close watch for the next 48 hrs but we hope to be home by weeks end. Vicki, you need to warn Tea. If Walker has an implant like Todd's it could be deteriorating, Michael said Todd's was and if it had been left alone it would have killed him for sure. I've got to go, Todd's waking up. I'll let you know when we're headed home." Blair got off as she noticed Todd stirring.

"Hey, sleepy head how are you feeling?" She said.

Todd turned his head where her voice came from and knew how much he missed his sight at that moment. He closed his eyes because he could see her in his mind, even as he was imagining her, he felt her beautiful lips on his. "Mmm.  Hello Mrs. Toddman did you get any sleep? Or have you been sitting by my bed all this time?"

Blair had seen him close his eyes and had known he couldn't see her still. She had hoped after he had slept a little bit that maybe he would find some improvement. Unfortunately, it hadn't happened. "I got some sleep but I've been on the phone with Starr and Vicki letting them know what happened."

Todd's eyes opened quickly even if he didn't focus. "You didn't tell Starr about the chip, did you? She doesn't need to know what those bastards did. Did you tell her about the eyes?" Damn he thought, he already knew the answer to that question. Blair had told both Vicki and Starr about his condition. "You did. Didn't you." Blair's silence said it all. "Great, now I'll have to deal with their pity. Maybe it's a good thing I won't be able to see their faces." he knew he sounded a little bitter. But he hated pity. from anyone.

Blair hadn't meant to upset him but it had happened anyway. She should have realized he was still raw about the condition and waited to tell until he was ready, but it was too late to take it back. Not only that but Starr would have told everyone else at home besides. She recalled his retreat when he had seen the pity in her eyes. He was right at least he wouldn't see it. "Todd forgive me. I was so relieved you were alive and wanted them to know. I didn't think."

Todd heard the sorrow and the apology in her tone. He knew how scared she had been when he had almost died. He still recalled that moment he had been standing, watching them working on his body, and looking at Blair across the room frantic. He had felt himself slipping away until Blair had screamed his name. In that instant, their bond had captured him and brought him back to her. He couldn't leave her, he loved her.

He reached out for her and caught her arm and moved his hand down to her hand. Bringing it to his lips he kissed it and said. "I'm sorry. You know how I get, just ignore me. I've got something to tell you. I forgot to tell you after Michael left. It's about the guys. You know you talked to Tom and he told you he can make out colors, well Rodd can make out shapes which means, with the help of the guys, I might not be so in the dark. Samuel has yet to take his turn out here to see if he can see any better than the rest of us. So hang on, I want him to try now." Todd went looking for Samuel and found him standing ready. "Okay, Samuel go for it."

Samuel found himself looking up at Blair, at least he was pretty sure it was Blair he could make out a little bit of her shape and he was also able to discern the colors she was wearing but the minute she moved she blurred. So for him, the movement was a problem. As long as what he looked at was standing still, he had an idea what he was looking at. He decided to test his theory by asking Blair to do a few things. "Blair You're beautiful even if you're out of focus but I need you to move away from the bed."

Blair thought that was a strange request but she did as Samuel had asked.

He was right. As soon as she moved she reminded him of the zig-zag lines of color when your TV screen was on the fritz. " Okay hold it. Blair, move to the container of hazardous material for me." Samuel tried to focus on the red object he could barely make out. As he looked at it a blur of color moved toward it. "Okay, stop don't move again. " Samuel had to close his eyes he was feeling ill.

Blair moved back to Samuel and began to worry he wasn't looking very good. "Samuel are you all right?"

Samuel tried to open his eyes but his stomach lurched. "No! I'm going to be sick" He couldn't get the image of those zig zag colors out of his head "God " he reached for his head it felt like it wanted to explode, then suddenly it just stopped and everything went black. Samuel lay there taking great gasps of air and trying to will his stomach to stop churning. With his eyes closed, he said 'Todd, you need to take over. If I open my eyes I think it'll start all over again.'

Todd understood. It had been as if the colors were in 3D coming at him and there was no place to go. It felt like his brain was on overload. and then like a switch it had stopped. Almost like it had been absorbed by something. Todd took over but immediately was sorry that he did. Now he felt the pounding head and the churning stomach and it was too much. Before he could try and fight it he turned and got sick.

Blair had been ready and as soon as his stomach stopped heaving she had used a cool cloth to wipe his brow. It had been dry heaves because he hadn't had anything to eat or drink in a while but it still had been terrible. He was positively drained as he leaned back on his pillow. The cool cloth was exactly what he needed. "Well that was a disaster." he carefully opened his eyes to the gray Blob that was Blair. At least nothing seemed to set his stomach off anymore.

"It was weird. As long as you were standing still, Samuel had a sense of shape and color but when you moved it was as if the Television went haywire. Then it was like that was all we could see those jagged colored lines. We couldn't block them out, it was as if they had a mind of their own and they were aiming straight at me. I swear I felt like something was thirsting for those images and then it just swallowed them. You're stuck with me Blair for the time being. I'm not sure what's going on, but I don't think I could go through that a second time."

"Todd, I think we should tell Michael. I was really worried when Samuel reached for your head, you were in a lot of pain, I don't think it should be that bad. There might be something wrong." she started to move away but his hand grabbed her.

He couldn't believe he had caught her. He had seen the blob seem to turn and had guessed she was getting ready to walk away. "Don't go. Not yet, stay here and talk to me. What time of day is it? I can't tell. I've lost track of time, I don't even know if this is the same day we were just horseback riding or another day. Tell me what happened Blair."

Blair had been surprised he had been able to stop her, but she heard the plea in his voice to not be alone. "I'm not going anywhere I was going to reach for the call button. You need to relax you just got sick and I'm concerned. We went horseback riding yesterday and when we were on our way back to the bungalow you dozed off in the car and the chip triggered. You screamed and blacked out and I brought you here. Don't you remember?

Todd frowned. The more he thought about his last hours yesterday, the fuzzier everything got. Maybe it was because of the surgery. He would have to ask Michael. Ever since Samuel had that weird visual experience, Todd had been hearing a persistent high pitched sound that seemed to be coming from right behind his bad ear. It was not far from the site of the surgery. Whatever it was, it was beginning to drive him crazy. " I don't know.  It's all fuzzy and there's this noise that's driving me insane, you better get Michael. I'm not sure I can stand much more of this." Todd covered his ears but nothing helped, the noise was inside and the pain was building. Blair was pushing the call button as Todd began screaming.

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Memories Unlocked #20

# 20

As Blair pushed him back towards the hospital, he look over his shoulder at her.  “We have a slight problem with me going home with you.”

“Todd, don’t start this again.  We’re going home and that’s all there is to it.”

“No, you have me all wrong.  I’m willing to go but I have no papers.  I was getting ready to go to the base this morning.  Lucy’s father offered me a ride on one of the army transport planes if I should ever want to leave.”

“Who’s Lucy?”

Todd thought back to the previous night.  His last image of his little friend was of her being held by her mother. It took him a moment to answer. He owed so much to the children and especially to Blanca and Lucy after all the times they had come and chatted and kept him occupied as he recovered.  When he told them he was leaving he had broken their little hearts.  Then Lucy had passed away.  It had been another blow to both himself and the children. “ Lucy is…” his voice caught. “was one of the children I worked with on the ward.”

Blair stopped pushing the chair. She realized who he was talking about as she recalled the earlier conversation with the young girl on the ward.  The only other time, he had been so choked up had been when he let his feelings show when Starr was so sick.  She reached down and laid a hand on his shoulder.  “Todd, I’m sorry.”

Todd blinked away his tears and rolled the chair out from under her hands.  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I hurt those kids last night and abandoned them because I was more concerned about me than them.  I’m nothing but a bastard.  Everything I’ve managed to remember so far tells me I’m not worth shit.”  He swung back around to face her.  “You say you love me no matter what I’ve done.   How can you do that?  I’ve hurt you, I gave your son away.  I know I’m a rapist and that I’ve spent time in jail.  Why on earth would you even want me around those two beautiful children in there?"

Blair sat down on a bench close to Todd.“You think you’re horrible because you’ve had some memories return but you’re not seeing or remembering all that you’ve done, just some bad stuff.  Your concern for the children on that ward is just one of the reasons I love you.  You’ve helped a number of children because they needed it and because you could.  You didn’t ask for recognition.” She paused as she remembered the one time he tried to make himself out a hero. “Well maybe one time you took credit. But that was it.  Todd, you always manage to form bonds with children and I’m guessing it has to do with something in your past.  Whatever happened then, gave you an affinity with children.  Don’t berate yourself over what happened last night.  Tell me, could you have prevented that tragedy?”

Sadly, Todd knew she was right.  There was nothing he could have done to prevent Lucy from dying.  He shook his head no. “You’re right, I couldn’t stop that, but when it happened I still decided to leave even though the rest of the kids needed me.”

“Oh, so you made the decision because you didn’t want the kids bothering you anymore and it was too much trouble to pretend to care about them.  Is that it?” Blair knew what she said was harsh but she knew Todd.  He always thought the worst of himself. As expected, she got the response she needed from him.

“God no!  I love those kids. I was trying to leave so I wouldn’t hurt them.  The more I’ve remembered the more I realized I shouldn’t be around them.  I felt they would be better off without me and the sooner I broke ties with them the better.” His voice cracked.  “I let them down.” his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Blair’s heart was filled with such love for Todd at that moment and all she wanted to do was hold him. “Did you?  I don’t think so.  I met a little girl this morning.  She told me all about how you comforted her last night after her best friend died.  I know it’s the truth because I saw you last night out on the deck with her.  I could tell you were close even though I couldn’t hear what you were saying to her.  A man who was only thinking of himself would have said his goodbyes and just left.  You didn’t, you still hung around longer because the kids needed you.  That’s the man I know who would do anything for his children because he loves them with all his heart.”  She got up and gave him a little hug, then started pushing him again. “Now that that’s settled, let’s get back to the problem of getting you home.  It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t have your passport or ID. That is going to slow things up.  It means the kids and I will just have to stay here until we get that taken care of.  Beware, Starr is probably going to try to monopolize your time because she’s missed you so much.  It will also give us a chance to get reacquainted.”

“Blair,”

Todd spoke so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.  “Yes, Todd?”

“I’m paralyzed.”

“I know… Oh!” Blair felt herself blushing from her head to her toes, “I…” she didn’t know what to say.  She had been thinking of getting him into bed and it had never entered her mind what his being paralyzed might mean to that. Refusing to let him think it mattered to her about his disability she leaned down and whispered in his ear.  “Don’t worry, I sure I can find many different ways to work around that problem and still give us both some pleasure.” To show her meaning, she nibbled his earlobe briefly, blew in his ear, and watched as he responded to the sensations.   She laughed lightly and pushed him through the door where Dr. Sanchez and the children were waiting.

****

Sam, James, and Heddy watched all the departing flights for the day and never saw any sign of Todd.  

“Well, Sam, what do you want to do?”  James looked over to where Heddy had recently fallen asleep in a chair.  “We really should get her back to the hotel and regroup.”

“You’re right, any and all flights that were headed to the States have left.” Sam walked over and woke Heddy.  “Come on Heddy, we’re going back to the hotel.  We should have done that before coming here.  Jetlag has caught up with you.”

Heddy pushed herself out of the chair.  “Ya, I guess you are right, but I did want to help Mrs. Manning.  Poor little Starr, she so misses her papa.”

“We know one thing Heddy,  Mr. Manning didn’t get on any flights today.  He’s still here in Guam, so we will find him.”

Sam called Blair as soon as they got into the taxi to give her an update about the airport. Blair had just finished feeding Jack when her phone went off. “Hello.”  

“Blair, he never got on a plane.  Did you have any luck with Dr. Sanchez?”

“Oh Sam,. I’m sorry.  We found him here after all.  Look, there’s a lot to explain.  I was wondering if you could bring Heddy and pick up Jack.  He needs a nap and I’m sure Heddy does too.  There’s no way I’m leaving right now and Starr is too stubborn to go back and lay down, now that we’ve found her daddy.”

Sam looked over at Sawyer and covered the phone. She mouthed “They found him” and then returned to answer Blair.  “Sure Blair we were headed back to the hotel but we’ll swing by the hospital first.  Do you need anything else?”

“No Sam.  You did your job and for that I’m so grateful.  I think we’re going to be here for a couple more weeks.  You’ve earned yourself some free time.  Maybe you would like to invite Mr. Sawyer to join you on a tropical vacation.  All expenses on me of course, but I would like to hire Mr. Sawyer and his plane in two weeks for a ride home.”

“That’s very generous Blair.  I think James would be delighted to give you a ride home in a couple of weeks.  We’re pulling up to the hospital right now.  We’ll join you shortly.”  

“What’s that about a ride home in two weeks,” asked Sawyer?  

“James, they found Todd. Blair said they needed to stay here for a couple of weeks.  She gave me some time off and an all expense trip for the next two weeks on her.  What do you say? Care to join me?”

“Baby, I’m all yours and I have no problem giving them a ride home.  I’m just your friendly taxi service as long as she’s footing the bill.  So I’m guessing we were wrong about the doctor?”

“I guess, she just said there was a lot to explain.  Heddy, you stay here and I’ll go get Jack.”  Heddy nodded, grateful she wouldn’t have to get out.  Sam leaned over and gave James a light kiss and hopped out of the taxi.  She went through the entrance to find Blair headed for her.  She was a little disappointed not to see Todd, but Blair appeared in a good mood so the reunion must have gone okay.  Sam couldn’t help herself.  She needed to know what was going on. “I’ll take him Blair, Heddy is really tired so I told her to stay in the taxi.  Are you okay?  I’m guessing he had an explanation for you.  Do you believe it?”

Blair nodded.  She handed Jack to Sam.  “Sam, we couldn’t have been more wrong.  Dr. Sanchez is Todd’s doctor.  She saved his life.”

Just then, Dr. Sanchez came around the corner from her office pushing Todd.  Starr was sitting on her father’s lap and chatting away.  Todd was listening intently and then he saw Sam.

“You,  I know you.  You were here a couple of days ago.  I saw you take a picture of me.  Why and who are you?”  

Blair had felt a twinge of jealousy when Todd said he knew Sam, but after hearing the rest, her fears calmed.  He didn’t really remember Sam either. “Todd, this is Sam Vance.  She’s the private detective I hired to find you.”

Taken aback by the fact that Todd didn’t know her, Sam wasn’t sure what to say.

Todd nodded at her.  “I guess  I should thank you then.  Blair, Dr. Sanchez wants to run a few more tests. There isn’t any reason for you to stick around.  Why don’t you and Starr go back to the hotel?  I promise I won’t take off on the army transport.”

Miguela tapped his shoulder.  “That’s for sure.  An army transport isn’t equipped to handle your situation.  I’m glad I heard that.  You could have done more damage if you had taken that flight.  Todd, I’m sorry you felt the need to leave like a thief in the night.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Doc.  I just had this overwhelming urge to leave before any of you got hurt by me.  Which reminds me.  There’s something I need to do and I need to do it alone.”

“Todd, I’m not going any…” Blair paused as she saw the determined look in his eyes.  He had given in as much as he was willing for the day.  Once Todd made up his mind about something nothing could persuade him from it.  She had pushed as far as he would let her. She was still feeling her way with this Todd and it was obvious he was going to be a challenge.  “Okay Todd, we’ll go.  Come along Starr.”

Starr turned in her father’s arms and wrapped her small arms around his neck squeezing.  “No, I want Daddy to come with us.  Mommy, you said we were taking Daddy home.”

“We are, Starr, but Daddy needs to spend a little more time here.  We’re not leaving until he’s ready to go and you can come see him tomorrow.”

“No!” She clung to her father. “Daddy, you said you’d never leave and yet you did.  I’m afraid you’ll leave again.”

“Starr, I’ll be here when you come tomorrow. I promise. I won’t break this one. Okay?”

He unwrapped her arms from his

Reluctantly, Starr let her mom take her hand and lead her out of the hospital but she watched her dad all the way as if she expected him to disappear again.

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Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 36

Blair pulled into the emergency bay and Michael was there waiting. He checked Samuel's eyes and then had the orderlies transfer him to a gurney. "How long has he been out, Blair?"

"He's been out about 15 minutes. I called as soon as it happened. Michael, you think it's the implant, don't you? We've got to get him awake. I can't let him go into surgery this way. Please, Michael, I need to talk to him." Blair looked at Todd and knew she couldn't let him undergo surgery without making sure he knew how very much she loved him. She followed Michael and the gurney as they headed straight up to surgery.

"Blair, come with me," said Michael, he turned to his nurse and spoke a few minutes and she took Blair, led her into a room and helped her into a mask and gown, then she led her into the operating room. Todd was being prepped for surgery, but the nurses allowed Blair to get up close to his head so she could talk to him.

"Samuel, if you can hear me I need you to wake up. You can't leave me out here hanging while you face this alone, remember, we're a team. You swore we would do this together. You hear me, I need you to come back to me right now so we can talk." She reached and gently took his hand, "Don't let them beat you, come find me please."  

Todd's eyes began to open and he turned his head. "Hi Blair." she could barely hear him, but all activity stopped in the operating room as they realized he was conscious. "My head is killing me, I guess we overdid it today huh."  

She leaned over and gave him a kiss. "Don't worry about that right now. I want you to remember this. I love you Samuel Toddman and we're going to come out of this smelling like roses." 

Todd smiled. "Not Roses, Wild Flowers"

Michael came up on the other side and said, "Samuel we can't wait, we're going to have to take the implant out now. Blair's going to be right here I'm giving you a mild sedative and I'm going to be asking you questions off and on. I want you to answer them as best you can." Blair continued holding his hand and the nurses anchored Todd's head to keep him perfectly still during surgery. As this was microsurgery only a small hole was drilled into his skull and Michael began working inside with miniaturized tools and cameras. Because of the scans taken earlier, Michael was able to pinpoint the precise location and as Blair watched, the camera picked up the small foreign object attached to Todd's brain.

Having located the implant, the delicate work began as Michael studied it from all angles with the camera. Michael was fascinated by the object. Each individual wire was anchored in a very specific place and Michael suspected that a couple of them were anchored to key neurons in the brain. The one he was most concerned about seemed to be attached to the nerves and currents that regulated the heart. Even as he debated taking that wire first the cardiovascular surgeon arrived. The doctor checked Todd's vitals and then conversed briefly with Michael. Once in agreement, Michael made the decision to tackle that wire first. Carefully he detached it from the implant, but now came the difficult part freeing it from the brain. At first, he simply tried to grab it and see if it would pull free. But alarms went off immediately. Tod 's hand clenched around Blair so hard she gasped and the heart surgeon told Michael to leave it. Todd's heart rate dropped back to normal and his hand unclenched.

Michael had hoped to get the most dangerous wire out first, but that wasn't going to happen so he looked back in and snipped a wire the led into the occipital lobe. Again he tried to grab it but it too resisted automatic removal. Still, this time no alarms went off . That didn't mean much except that it wasn't life threatening. Michael had been hoping he wouldn't have to actually go into the brain but he had little choice now. He had to find out how the wires had been anchored. He carefully used the laser scalpel to cut through the brain tissue praying the small damage he was inflicting would not prove detrimental to Samuel. He followed the wire to its end and noted it had been designed much like a harpoon it was barbed so it couldn't be removed easily. After removing the barbs Michael carefully backed out of Samuel's brain pulling the wire free. He set it down on the tray and took a moment to check on Samuel. "Are you still with me Samuel. One of the wires is out. Samuel tell me what Blair was wearing?"

Todd thought it was a strange request. He looked at Blair. He answered slowly his speech a little slurred because of the sedative. "She has on a blouse and jeans."

Michael looked at Blair she was wearing a pale yellow shirt and blue jeans underneath the surgical gown. "Samuel, what color is the surgical gown?"

"It's a little dark maybe a dark blue or something." Samuel blink everything was a little fuzzy.

Blair looked in alarm at Michael. The surgical gowns were pale blue. He shook his head warning her not to speak. "Okay just take it easy, I'm going after another wire." Michael wasn't happy, Samuel's perception of color was skewed. He hoped it would only be a temporary setback.

Michael went to work removing other wires.  Each time he was forced to do minor damage and each time he would ask Samuel questions. He was working in the memory lobe, but so far Samuel had been able to recall his memories. Michel was sure he would only have trouble with some short term loss. Michael only had two wires left and he was unhappy with the location of both. One more wire extended into the occipital lobe and then he had to try getting the wire that was affecting Samuel's heart.

The first wire he had removed had had an effect on Samuel's vision it was minor and might correct itself but to have to do more damage in that lobe bothered Michael. First things first Michael cut the last wire free of the implant and began to carefully pull the implant from the brain, it had been in there for a number of years and Michael had to remove some scar tissue that had formed around the initial insertion. Even though there was no sound, when he pulled it felt like he was pulling his shoe out of a mud hole he could almost hear that sucking sound just as he freed the implant. With the small grabbing tool, he picked up the freed implant and carefully pulled it out of Samuel's head and laid it on the tray. It was an incredible piece of machinery and he would love to know what had powered it all these years.

Blair had been watching intently on the screen as Michael had removed the offensive chip, it was fascinating and horrific at the same time. She leaned over and spoke in a whisper to Todd. "The implant is gone, we have it now. You just need to hang in there a little longer. Michael just has two wires to remove and it's over." she squeezed his hand and he responded back in kind.

Todd gazed at Blair she was beautiful in a fuzzy way he couldn't get his vision to clear, but he figured it was because of the anesthesia they had given him. He felt disconnected from everything that was going on and he wondered how the rest of the guys were doing during this. Although he was fuzzy he decided to try calling to them. "Samuel, how are you doing, you guys still with me."

Samuel and the others were lying where they had collapsed when the chip had triggered in Todd's brain. They were all still there when Todd stumbled in to check on them. "Guys?" It was hard for him to focus, but he found his way to where they lay He couldn't help it, but he felt relief they were still there even if they weren't responding, he sat and just rested next to his fallen brothers. It was getting hard to see. It was like a shadow was clouding his vision he wasn't sure if he was losing consciousness or what. He blinked trying to bring Blair back into focus but she seemed to be receding into darkness. "Blair, don't go."

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere?" Blair clung to his hand worried. Why did he think she was going somewhere? She looked up at Michael and saw him looking down at Samuel like there might be something wrong.

Todd closed his eyes and held onto Blair tighter, something was wrong but how could he tell her. Opening his eyes again, he confirmed his suspicions, he couldn't see her any longer. He was able to make out some light but everything was mostly shadow. God was he blind or was this temporary? He didn't want to think about it. Would he never get a break? Suddenly his chest began hurting. Oh God not now!

Alarms started going off and Michael knew he had seconds to get that last wire removed working as quickly as he could without doing even more damage Michael severed the last prong and Samuel went into full blown arrest. Michael pulled the wire free and stood back as they got ready to shock Samuel.

Blair had vacated her seat quickly so the heart doctor could step in when the alarms went off the Doctor and the nurses slip the board carefully under Todd and brought the paddles out.

"Clear!" Nothing. Once more. "Clear!" Still nothing.

Blair screamed "Don't you die! I'm here, you've got to come back to me. TODDD!"

"He's back! Regular sinus rhythm You could finish Doctor. I'm not sure he can come back from another one." the doctor stayed next to his patient as Michael closed the surgical site. Michael looked at the tray with its eight wires and strange chip. Samuel was free of them but at what cost. Michael knew Samuel had been experiencing vision problems near the end, time would tell just what had transpired. The main thing was he had survived the surgery and they had their implant. Michael walked over to Blair slumped against the wall. "He's alive. I think he heard you. He didn't want to die."

Blair looked at Michael with tears in her eyes. "Thank you. He's free of it, but is he whole?"

"I won't lie to you Blair, there was some unavoidable damage done. I'm uncertain what affect all of it might have until he wakes up. But we can be hopeful that whatever problem arises might only be temporary. You and he will face it together of that I'm certain. You're definitely bound to him and him to you or you wouldn't have been able to get through to him. You remember that." He walked with her as they wheeled Samuel to recovery and set her close to Samuel. Michael did a quick check of Samuel's vitals.  He reached over and patted Blair's shoulder. "He's doing fine. " and left.

Blair took Todd's hand in hers, tears flowing because she had been so scared. "You sleep right now without dreams." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the small jar holding the chip and those wicked wires. That something so small could have caused all that pain and damage was unbelievable but they had their tangible proof now and if she was correct Tea and Walker would have to go through the exact same thing to be free from it. They might have to find a different surgeon unless Michael could find it in himself to be unbiased towards Walker. But for now, Todd was her concern and she was grateful he was still with her. She reached up and smoothed his beautiful hair off his face. "I love you, Todd Manning. I'm here waiting for you. You just rest."

Blair waited patiently for Todd to rouse, the nurses came in and checked a couple of times but he remained unresponsive. It hadn't been that long ago since his last attack and the heart doctor had been on the phone with Samuel's Doctor in Llanview getting all his information and giving updates. The heart specialist had been warned by both Michael and Blair to stay mum about the brain surgery. Michael had informed him that Samuel was an important witness in an ongoing investigation and that it was imperative that no word of the brain surgery got out. He had given the surgeon his brother's name and told him to contact his brother if he had any questions. 

When he asked why all the secrecy when he was just calling the other Hospital. Blair informed him that they were pretty sure the hospital had been infiltrated by those being investigated and if word of Samuel's surgery got to them, he was a dead man. She remembered his look of surprise at such a dramatic phrase but he had seen how serious she and Michael were, so he had agreed. Blair reached over and picked up Todd's hand once more, she recalled a scene long ago, that occurred shortly after they had met when she had found Todd stabbed on the floor of his hotel room. Todd had looked much like he did now except then he had needed blood and it had turned out to be his rape victim Marty who had supplied it. She remembered her relief when Marty had offered it and she had been able to go back to Todd and tell him it was alright. She felt that same relief now. "It's all right Todd. That thing is out of your head and it can't hurt you any longer. You can wake up now we've got work to do."

"I'm gonna get him, Blair, he's made a mistake now. Just you wait." Todd said.

Blair leaped to her feet till she was by his head. "Oh, Todd, you're awake. How do you feel? "

Todd opened his eyes and saw only shadows. He knew where Blair was by her voice so he turned to look at her. Damn all he could make out was an undefined blob surrounded by light. He didn't want to scare her. "My head's killing me but I suppose that's to be expected," he said with a grin. "So Michael got the little bugger, huh." he saw the blob move she seemed to be reaching for something.

Blair had turned and picked up the specimen jar with the implant in it. She turned back to Todd and held it up for him to see. That's when she realized something was wrong. "Yes, it's right here. I can't believe how they could plant that in any man." She held it directly in front of her but Todd was looking elsewhere. "What do you think, it's diabolical, isn't it? Here, do you want a good look?" she reached the jar forward waiting for him to take it. His hand started to reach and then it dropped on the bed.

"Clever Blair, I didn't think I'd be able to keep you in the dark for long. Huh, in the dark, I guess that would be me. That old Lord luck has struck again." he laughed because he couldn't do anything else, as always fate had stepped in once again.

"It doesn't matter Todd. We'll work with it. We don't know how bad it really is. Let Michael have a look. He said there might be some damage. but he also said the problems might be temporary." Blair was almost crying.

Todd heard how distressed she was for him and he reached for where he was sure her face was. He found it and felt her tears. Wiping them he said. "Don't! Don't cry. You're right, I'm here and that's what's important right now. I've got you don't I, the most beautiful seeing eye gal a guy could have."

Blair laughed and grabbed his hand holding it close. "You sure as hell have me and this might be a setback but we can work with it. I'm mad and it's time to get even."

"That's the Blair I know, take no prisoners. I'm through hiding Blair. With that thing removed I can go home. They're through manipulating me, Carlo and Kipling both . I'm not 100 percent but I have my wits and my friends and I have proof of what they did. I'm going to find them Blair and I'm gonna get them the way they got me. That's a promise. You better let them know I'm awake, but hold them off for a few minutes I need to check on the guys." He pulled his hand free and watched the blob move away. As he watched her leave, he realized the truth of what he had just said, he did have friends, something that had been lacking in his life. Ray was his friend and Kelly, and he was pretty sure he could count on John too. It felt weird but nice, his thoughts turned inward as he recalled seeing his brothers helpless before the heart attack. He went in search of them and suddenly realized he could see, he wasn't blind in his head as he made his way down the corridor to Samuel's room. As he suspected they were all gathered together waiting for him.

"Well, it's about time. Can we get this meeting started now, Samuel?  The man is here." Pete growled.

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