Chasing the Monsters: 37

Todd glanced around Rodi's and took careful pains to find the familiarity he longed for.  The place had long been a reminder of his first meeting Blair, and of other memories since:  her sitting on the bar singing to him in a tight black dress, their wedding rehearsal dinner thrown by none other than John McBain, and just times sitting at the bar, drinking and feeling like the outcasts they were.  "We were," he repeated to himself.  He wondered how it had come from a crippler and a rapist to what they were now.  It all seemed light-years ago.

He ran his hand along the bar, when he caught sight of his father, with a plaid, newsboy hat on, brim snapped down, and Ribsky, with his gun holster half-showing under his slightly-tight jacket.  He approached.

"Ah, Son," Timothy said, standing and throwing his arms around Todd's shoulders.

"We're in public, Old Man," Todd said, lightly patting his father's back.

"Ah, yes, but what of it?  Have a seat, Laddy."

Todd pulled the chair out, but not before greeting Ribsky with a handshake.  "We meet again," the ex-cop said.

"We do," Todd said, "how's it hanging?"

"Fine, I guess."

Timothy spoke, "Good, now that's established.  So, Todd, do ya have news for us?"

"Aren't I going to hear yours first?"  Todd said, signaling the waitress.

"Eh, why don't ya do us the honors?"

"Well, I was able to get the police rosters, dug up quite a bit.  Some are dead, at least one of them committed suicide."

"Could he be the guilty one?"  Ribksy asked.  

"Suppose.  Could something like this drive someone to off himself?"  Todd asked, gulping his Scotch.

"Sure," Ribsky said.  "You're a cop, devote your life to saving others, get into trouble, make a deal, and later realize what it did to someone else.  Possible."

"So maybe we got something, then?"  Timothy said.

"Could be.  We'll just have to see how it jives with what we got," Ribsky said, biting into his burger.

***

"Hello, Bea.  How was y'ar weekend with y'ar family?"  The nun asked, strolling by Bitsy as she worked on yet another painting.

"Todd says he's going to bring more of my artwork to The Diamond Gallery."

"That's wonderful."

"I . . . don't think he'll much care for some of these, though."

The nun scanned the newest painting, which again, featured Mitch as the centerpiece.  But instead of him captivating a crowd, he was standing with his hands on either side of the face of a woman.  Without being told, Sister Rebecca Katherine knew who the woman was.  She said, "He might have a spot of trouble with them, yes.  But ya have many other lovely ones."

"Thank you, Sister.  The visit was wonderful.  I want to live there, so much.  I love being with the children, and Blair, and my Angel, Todd."

"Well, time will tell.  It seems y'ar on y'ar way."

"Yes.  Dr. Martino says I'm getting better, and I've had no nightmares lately.  Only dreams," she looked off wistfully.

"Dreams?"

"Yes.  Of my life, before The Time of Black, of my family, happy times.  Of Mitch, touching me."  She immediately blushed. "Oh, Sister, I'm . . . so embarrassed about what I just said."  She put her paints down and wrung her hands.

The nun was not as much embarrassed or offended as she was truly afraid.  She knew how Todd would feel if he knew where his mother's head was regarding Mitch Laurence.  She also knew how utterly wrong Bitsy's impression of Laurence was.  

She can't know.  She can't know what he's done.  Not all of it.  

She gathered herself, and said, "Dear, no worries, now.   Ya should talk about the dreams with Ray, the next time ya have a session."

"Do you really think so, Sister?"

So innocent, almost like a child.  

The nun said, "Yes.  Yes, I do."

"All right, then maybe I will.  I see him tomorrow, for my weekly session.  I don't have to go every day anymore, or even every other day."

"That's wonderful, Dear Bea."

"Oh Sister," she said, hugging the nun, "I so want to start my life over, on the outside.  I want to be with my grandbabies and my son and his wife.  They are so beautiful, all of them."

"Yes, they are, dear.  What did Ray say it would take for ya to get out into the real world again?"

"He didn't say.  He just said it would be soon."

"Well, then, congratulations, and keep it up.  It will be here before ya know it."

"Yes," she said, turning back to the recent painting.  Then she stopped, and became pensive.  "Sister?"

"Yes, Dear."

"Mitch is still alive, isn't he?"

"Yes," she said, holding her breath slightly before she even realized she was.

"All right, then," she said, adding another touch of color to the canvas.

***

"I had to do some serious digging to bring this up.  Seems the CPD has a habit of erasing things," Todd said absently.

"You know, Todd, I never thought so before, but after yesterday, I tend to see your point.  It wasn't all of us, of course, but you're right.  It's happened," the private eye said.

"What do you mean?"  Todd asked. 

Timothy said, "Which brings us to the next piece of information."

Todd noticed his father shoot a look to Ribsky, and swallow.  He said, "Okay, what next piece of information?"

Jack's look at Timothy lingered a second more, and then he said, "Something's come up about . . . a six year old boy calling for help in 1976."

Timothy saw Todd's face going white, and his hands falter as he put down the Scotch glass.  "It was real?  It happened?"  Todd asked.

"Seems someone might have kept some 911 tapes that were pulled."  Ribsky said, drinking his beer and attempting to seem nonchalant.

Todd said, "Who?  Where can I talk to this person?"

"Slow down, Buddy." Ribsky admonished, "It's a contact of mine.  If she has access to them, she'll get them.  She asked me to give her a few days.  She was the old dispatcher.  Remembered a call like it.  Said that . . . well, said that she couldn't forget."

"What did she say?  Exactly."  Todd pressed.

"I just told you," Ribsky said.

"No, I mean what exactly did she say the kid said?" Todd was urgent.  His face was determined, and his hands were clenched.

Timothy said, "Easy, Son.  Jack's helping, he's not y'ar enemy."

Todd toned down, and then said, "I'm . . . sorry.  I just don't want you to protect me, or hide anything.  I'm a grown man, and it's my life.  I deserve to know."

"She said she'd never forget the little boy's voice.  She dreamed of it for weeks afterward.  Her boss had told her to forget it ever happened.  And then, it happened again, she thinks a while later.  She knew it was the same boy.  She was directed the same way."

Todd looked to his plate of fries and sandwich that had just arrived, and they blurred slightly.

Jack continued, "She said she never got over it, and was willing to help.  She's going to try and get into the area where the tapes are likely stored.  It was the 70s, so we may be looking at a cassette or reel to reel tape, or something."

"Twice."  Todd said.  "I called twice.  First I was six, the second I was seven.  It was three days after my seventh birthday.  Both times, no one came.  After that, I just gave up."

Ribsky wiped his mouth.  "I'd have given up, too.  It wasn't your fault, the adults were supposed to take care of you, and all of them failed."

Todd waited, composing himself, and then said, "I'd appreciate whatever you uncover."

Ribsky nodded as the waitress put down another round of drinks.

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Memories Unlocked #8 (mild adult)

         

        Sam rolled over on the bed, her eyes feasting on Sawyer’s tight ass.  She let her fingers play across his back, taking a lick here and there as she moved down lower.

         Sawyer laid quietly, at first, letting Sam play her little game.  Suddenly he turned on his back and grabbed her.  Rolling on top of her, he pinned her under him and looked into her sparkling eyes. “You better be careful there.  You’re playing with fire.”

        Sam purred “Mmm, I love it when things get hot.”  She reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair.  She gave a tug, then pulled his head down so she could capture his lips. He literally growled, then savagely took her kiss, his tongue finding hers as they each tried to taste the other.  Once he was through there, he began kissing down her body the way she had begun on his.  There was one exception, he reached his goal and soon he was drinking in her sweetness as Sam writhed on the bed. Her moaning just excited him more. “That’s it, Sweetheart,  let go,” he played with her until she was screaming for relief then he entered her.

       Sam held onto his arms, her nails digging in as he moved inside her.  It was all she could do to hold on as wave after wave of sensations rolled through her body.  Moments later he dropped down on top of her. but he wasn’t done.  He nuzzled and kissed her neck and face finally coming back to her lips where it had all started. The kiss was slow and all consuming and she knew he was marking his place until the next time.

        Rolling off her, Sawyer laid on his side and levered up on his elbow and looked down at Sam.  She smiled up at him lazily, with the look of a woman fully satisfied.  “Was that hot enough for you, Sweetheart,” he asked?

        Sam sighed. “Hot enough?” She reached up and stroked a finger seductively down his chest.  “Oh yeah, you can burn me up anytime.”

        He laughed and rolled off the bed. “Well, for now, we better get a move on.  I want to be in Guam this afternoon, and we still have a couple of smaller islands to check out first.”  He headed to the bathroom and then stopped and turned back to Sam.  “You still want to check them out, right?  You really think he could have made it this far?”

        Sam sat up and gathered the sheet around her.  “I have to, at least, try these last few islands.  I refuse to be the one to have to deliver the bad news to his little girl.”  She reached to the nightstand next to the bed and picked up the paper.  “Come on, it broke my heart when I found this article.  She really wants her father back.  Do you understand?”

        “Yeah I understand, but you realize if we don’t find him this trip, we’ll probably never find him.  I mean if he did make it this far, the man would be a blooming miracle.”  That said, Sawyer headed into the bathroom and started the shower.  Sam laid the paper back down and joined him.

****

It had been a couple of days since Todd’s incident.   He pulled the box toward him.  The nurse had said someone had donated toys for the children and Todd was curious to see what they had.  He ran across some hand puppets and one, in particular, seemed so familiar.  It was a little rubber puppet of a wolf.  Lying next to it in the box was a small girl with a red hood.  He picked up the wolf and put it on his hand.

        Everything shifted and suddenly he was holding a gray furry wolf and he was speaking.  “Kids get it.  If you’re doing something bad you have to be stopped.  Wolf had to be stopped before he did any more damage.”

  Another voice spoke up.  “Well you know, sometimes wolves do things simply because they’re scared.  They’re frightened, they do bad things..you wouldn’t punish a poor little wolf just because he did something bad because he was scared.”

        He saw himself cuddling the wolf and then he looked it in the eye and answered: “No, you do something bad, you have to get punished.”

        “Mr. Todd, are you alright?”

        Todd shook his head as he realized Blanca had asked him a question. “What?  Oh, I’m sorry, Blanca.  I guess I was daydreaming.”  He was surprised when Blanca gave him a small hug.

        “It’s okay, Mr. Todd.  I sometimes daydream too.  I like to imagine going down to the ocean and swimming like I used to when I was little.  Daddy used to take me out on his board and give me rides on the waves.  I felt like I was flying.  I like those daydreams.  Was your dream a happy one?”

        Todd shook his head.  “No, it wasn’t that kind of daydream, Blanca, but I’m glad you have happy ones.”

         “Yes I guess so, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get back to the ocean.  Mama said I can’t go because it could make me sicker.  I don’t want that.  I hate being sick in bed.”

         “So do I.“ He dropped the puppet back into the box  “ But you know what? Maybe I can give you a ride that will make you feel like you’re flying.  Would you like that?”

           Blanca giggled and clapped her hands. “Yes.”

           “Okay. you have to help me a little first.  Can you do that?”  He looked down, for the first time he was grateful he was in an older wheelchair.  His was a vintage model left over from World War Two.

            She smiled and nodded yes.  Before long Todd’s legs were stretched out in front of him on the lift board the wheelchair had.   He lifted Blanca up and perched her kneeling between his legs, facing away from him.  It took her a moment or two before she found a position she could balance herself.  Keeping one hand on her waist. Todd began to move his chair.  Blanca reached down for a minute and held his arm until she felt comfortable to let go.  “Close your eyes and  imagine you’re on your father’s board.”  Blanca did as she was told. Todd beckoned one of the nurses to help push him and soon they were moving at a good clip down the hallway.  Blanca had her eyes closed and her arms outstretched.  She felt the wind blowing in her face and she laughed.  Todd had released her waist so she could feel free, but he kept both hands ready in case she lost her balance. He reached and held her for a moment as they went around a corner. They were on the ground floor of the hospital so the floor had some ups and downs in it. Every time they went up and back down Blanca giggled.  Seeing they were coming to the end of the hallway, Todd put his hands around her waist. “It’s time to go into shore.  Did you have a good time Blanca?”

         The nurse brought the wheelchair to a stop and watched as Blanca turned around on Todd’s lap and gave him a huge hug.  Blanca was overjoyed. “Thank you, thank you!  It was just like I remembered it.  You’re the best, Mr. Todd.”  She gave him one more hug and a light kiss on his cheek and got off so she could go tell her friends.

          Todd's eyes followed the little girl.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at the nurse.

        “We all think you’re the best too, Mr. Drake,” she said.  She moved around to the front and helped lower his legs.

        Todd remembered what had happened earlier.  It cast a shadow over his face.  “Maybe, but I’m not so sure I was in the past,” he said as he wheeled himself out down the hallway and out onto the deck surrounding the hospital.

         Miguela had been looking for Todd and overheard his last remark. She walked toward him.  She saw him roll close to the rail and pullout his picture. “Todd, may I join you?”

         “Sure Doc.” He put the picture away and turned his attention to the doctor. “Shouldn’t you be off by now?  Don’t tell me you can’t tear yourself away from this place.  Half the doctors on staff would love to spend time with you but instead, you’re here with me.”  Todd smiled wryly.  “Believe me, I think they’re all better company than me.”  He liked Dr. Sanchez.  She was definitely easy on the eyes.  The lingering sun’s rays glinted off her raven colored hair as it moved gently in the breeze around her shoulders.  Although petite, she had curves in all the right places and she had a generous mouth that begged to be kissed.  It didn’t make sense.  She blushed at his comment and Todd grinned.  “Relax Doc.  I’m not making a pass.  It’s just that I never see you with anyone, but hey, it’s not really my business. Naturally you want to spend time with me since I’m such a charmer.”

         Miguela smiled and sat down next to Todd.  “It’s quite alright.  I’m flattered.  Actually, for now, this is my life.  I’m not seeing anyone because I recently lost my husband.  He passed away a few months before you arrived on the island.  I threw myself into my work here.”

         Todd looked at her for a moment, he couldn’t believe how he had put his foot in it. Just great Todd, making it all about yourself.  “I’m sorry.  That’s me, Mr. Insensitive.  I should have known.  You’re too much of a catch.  There had to be a reason you weren’t out there playing.”

         Miguela laughed. “I never really thought of myself as a catch.  Thank you.”

        “You’ve got to be kidding me.  Doc, have you looked in the mirror lately?  I meant it when I said half the doctors on staff would like to take you out.  Hell, if I wasn’t stuck in this wheelchair, I’d offer to take you someplace where we both could let off a little steam.  I know I’d give anything to get away from this.” His mood changed suddenly as he slammed his hands down on the wheelchair. Todd saw the concern on Miguela’s face at his reaction.  He reined in his frustration. “Hey, don’t pay any attention to what I just said.  I know my situation isn’t going to change.  I guess a little self-pity slipped through.”

        Miguela leaned forward and laid a hand on Todd’s knee.  “I think you’re entitled to a little slip now and then.  I’ve been wanting to talk to you about your legs.  I’ve looked at all the films and everything is healed and all the swelling is gone.  I can’t find a Physical reason for your paralysis. Todd, please consider what I’m going to say next, and try not to get angry.  Your psychiatrist and I feel there is something emotional keeping you from walking.  He told me you stopped your sessions with him.  Why, Todd?”

         The frustration came back in force. “You have to ask?  What good has it done?  All he wants to talk about are the dreams that I keep having and their significance.  I don’t want to talk about them.  Everything I’ve dreamt so far is something bad.  Why? You ask.   I stopped the sessions because if  the memories are true, I don’t think I want to remember that guy after all.”  He backed his chair away from the doctor and rolled it to the end of the balcony. “It’s Fate. you know.” He said over his shoulder.  “My condition is what it is because I deserve it, but I’m getting used to it.  I made a decision.  I’ll be leaving here soon.  You and the hospital have been great and I love working with the kids but I think I need to get on with my life.”

        Miguela rose from her chair and moved up behind Todd. “No one here is asking you to leave.”

        “I know, but I need to.  This is too easy.  Because you’ve allowed me to stay here, I’ve been able to put some money away.  I think it’s time I tried to get my own place.  If the hospital agrees, I’ll stay on staff and work with the kids still.   To be honest, I need to find out if I can cope  on my own.”

         “Alright, if you’re sure.  At least, I can help you find a place to stay.  There’s a ground floor apartment available in my building.  I could check into it for you.” Miguela said.

        Todd wheeled around and looked up at her.  “That’s a little convenient.  Are you telling me that because you want to keep an eye on me?”   Miguela gasped.  She was genuinely shocked at his inference. Todd regretted his words the minute he saw her reaction.  “I’m sorry.  You’re only trying to help.  See, I can’t even accept help graciously.”  He reached out and took her hand.  “Listen, I’m a jerk.  By now you should know that about me, but if you really want to help..I....Yes, would you look into that apartment.  If I can afford it, I’ll take it.”  He smiled, trying to take the sting out of his paranoid response.

         She had been taken aback by Todd’s absurd response to her offer.  Now she looked down at her hand in his.  It had been a while since a man had held her hand so gently, and it stirred feelings that had been dormant since her husband’s death.  Todd could be charming.  She had seen it with the children and the other nurses.  Right now he had turned that charm on her and she realized she wasn’t immune to it.  She gathered herself together and pulled her hand  from his.  Doctor/ patient romances always turned out badly and she knew Todd only thought of her as his doctor and friend.  “I accept your apology and I will talk to my landlord about the apartment.  If that one doesn’t work out.  I’ll help you find another one.  You’re my patient but you’re also a friend and I like to help my friends.  But if you’re going to do this, we need to talk about certain things you’ll need to exist out of the hospital environment.”

          Todd motioned to the chair. “Alright, let’s talk.”

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Chasing the Monsters: 36

"Okay," she said, "Ray's downstairs with your Mother, and she's packed.  She has to go back, Todd.  It's Monday morning."

He ignored her for a minute, and then stopped typing and sighed.  "Yeah, I know."

"Do you want me to bring her back?  Perzno can copter us, or Williams can drive?"

"I don't know."

She wanted to relieve him, and make things easier.  She said, "I think I'd like to, if it is okay with you.  I'll get Tina over here to babysit.  That way you can work without Road Runner bugging you."

He looked at her.  "You're so good to me."

"Don't say you don't deserve it," she said, putting her fingers to his lips.

"I won't say it," he said, under his breath, as she turned and walked out.

***

The familiar buzzing rang in his ears, and he waited until the bars slid closed, and two guards, flanking Laurence, lead the way.  He stood, at the end of the passageway, eyes focused on the man in question.  "Ah, Lieutenant McBain," Mitch began.

"Laurence."

"This is highly unprecedented."

"Maybe."

"To what do I owe this?"

The guards were signaled by John to step back and away.  It was just he and Mitch, in the middle of the penitentiary hallway that lead to the infirmary.  John said, "You wrote me several notes.  I've come to see what in the Hell you wanted.  In person."

"You know exactly what I want."

"And I can't give it to you.  Her doctor says it's not good for her."

Mitch frowned.

"And if you ever cared, you'd try and understand she's not ready for this."

"If I ever cared?  You don't know me, or what I feel or felt."

"Possibly.  I only know you as a disgusting excuse for a human being, but I digress."
Mitch's eyes became slits.  "Watch it," he uttered in a growl.

"All I came to tell you is that you can't see her until she's in care of herself, fully, and even then, who knows what she'll want to do about it."

"Where is she?"  his voice was considerably softer.

"In a hospital.  Under treatment."

He looked off, and for a moment, was very far away.  "Peter Manning . . . did this to her.  It's because of that, isn't it?"

John was reluctant.  "Yes.  The fallout from it."

"And she can't talk."  John didn't give any response before Mitch continued, "he beat her that badly."

"I suppose so, yeah."

"Is she . . . better?"

"Yes, she's better.  She's getting there."

"Why don't you let her make her own choice, about seeing me?  Does she remember?"

"She remembers.  Everything."  John saw Mitch swallow at hearing that.  "When she's well, she'll have her own decision to make.  But right now, she's not ready.  And I'm wondering if you care enough about her to accept that."

John knew he had won, at least this round.  Mitch looked to the floor, and then said, "Yeah, I can accept that."  Then, looking up, into John's face with a cold stare, "For now."

"Okay then," the cop said.  "Guards!" and the two men came forward, taking Mitch under the arms and leading him back through the hallway toward where he came.

John walked to the end of the hall on his end, and pushed the buzzer, releasing the door.  He stepping into the next corridor and pulled out his cell phone.  He left a message:  "Blair, I have to talk to you.  I'm stopping by in an hour or so, if you won't be there, call me back."

***

"Blair?  Dad and Jack Ribsky are both coming into Llanview to meet with me.  Dad just called.  Either the info I gave was really important, or he has something to tell me."  She had just gotten back from taking Bitsy back to Mountainview, when  he met her on the helipad with open arms.

"Probably both," she said.  "When will they be here?"

"An hour or two.  I'm going to copter into town and work a bit at The Sun, and then meet up with them at Rodi's for a beer."

"Sounds good.  Maybe the three of you can put your heads together and come up with something to help break this case."

"Yep."

"All right, be careful, Todd," she said, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'll be careful."  He made his way to the helipad, and climbed in.  She could see him, in the cockpit, putting on his safety belt and earphones, and she smiled to herself, and sighed.  Picking up her cell phone, she glanced down at her home screen.  It was still, as it had been for some time, her favorite photograph of them at their wedding in 1995, him, with his long hair and goatee, and she in her grandmother's wedding gown.  She could almost see the slight bump in her middle that was Starr.  She ran her thumb over it and noticed the flashing message light.  "Ah, a message," she said aloud.  Picking the phone up to her ear, she heard John's unmistakable voice, slightly marred by the copter's lift off.  "Wonder what he wants," she said, polishing the screen on her top and placing the phone back in her pocket.  

She went into the house, and checked her napping children before John would get there.

A while later, she heard the doorbell, and made her way down the staircase to the foyer.  She said, "John, come in," she said, holding the door open.

"Hi, Blair."

"What's up, you sounded like, I don't know. . ."

"Is Todd home?"

"No, he just left, he has a meeting.  What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay, John, I know that, just say it, what's up?"

"I'm here to . . . I have information you should know."

"All right," she said, folding her arms over her chest.  She was impatient and not worried as to whether or not he could see it.

He knew her.  From the short time they were married, he could still tell her feelings from her body language.  So he turned and said, "It's about Todd's mother."

"What about her, John?"  Blair felt concern rise in her chest, and she sat down in the family room and he followed.

"I . . . know she's headed for release soon.  She'll be making her own decisions."

"What's this about?  You usually don't pull punches."

He sighed.  "Seems I made a little deal with the devil last year to help find your son."

"We found our son, John.  Todd and I."

"I know, but I also tried.  The only thing I could think of at the time.  And, it actually worked in its own way."

"Well, if you weren't there when the authorities arrived from Chicago, things might be different for Bitsy now.  Todd's grateful; so am I."  She paused.  "Which devil, John?"

"Laurence."

She reacted the way he thought she would.  "What?  What did you promise him?"

"I guess after all these years, I trusted you, Blair.  I thought you were being honest when you backed up Todd's answer about the compound, I had to find it.  Mitch knew, instantly, that it wasn't the compound Peter would seek out."

"Well, I'm sorry I lied.  But he's my husband.  We're together, and we're like one person.  We both see things, well, a little differently than most people."

"I understand, but I wasn't thrilled.  Anyway, I promised Laurence that if he gave me info that lead to finding Ray, I would . . . bring Bitsy to him."

She was silent at first.  "Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to find your son.  You'd lost enough children and Peter was a madman.  Call it a momentary lapse in judgement, call it what you want.  Anyway, Bo is upset with me for promising Laurence something that I may not be able to deliver and the problems it may cause.  So, I called Ray Martino, who said that until she's released, Bitsy's not going to see Mitch.  And of course, after she's released, it would be her decision to go or not.  I went to see him today, and he's not letting go of the idea.  The bastard is lovesick or something."

Blair immediately flashed on the painting of Mitch Laurence that Sister Rebecca Katherine had told them about.  "I see.  Well, I don't see how I can help you."

"I just thought you ought to know about this," he said, standing, "I didn't want to keep it from you anymore."

"Well, thank you," she also stood and they both meandered toward the door.

"And, uh, how you want to proceed with Todd is up to you."

"He won't take it well," she said.

"I know, but . . . I just felt it should be out in the open."

"That's fine, thanks, John.  I'll handle him."

"And Blair,"  John said, turning at the door, "I've never seen Laurence like this.  It's like he's a sad little dog who lost its master.  Never saw anything like it."

"I get it.  I saw a little of it myself, remember, when I went to get info from him about Todd's abuse."

"Yes.  And I'm sorry for everything he has caused you and your family."

"Thanks, but it's not your apology to make," she opened the door.  

John stepped out. "Goodbye, Blair."

"Bye," she said, and closed the door.  Leaning against it, she wondered what good it would do to let Todd know what Mitch Laurence bartered for.

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Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 21

She shook her head, no. All thoughts of hunger were fulfilled by their lovemaking but she nodded yes to the wine, it seemed so decadent to be curling up on the couch drinking wine at such an early hour in the morning.

Todd cleared the food away, joined Blair on the couch and reached for his laptop. He brought up the Sun site and began looking for old stories written back when Carlo had been masquerading as Poseidon. As he read, Blair moved and snuggled up behind him wrapping her arms around him watching and reading the articles over his shoulder. As he made his way past the articles telling of Carlo's plan to steal millions from the Buchanans, an article suddenly caught his eye. The article talked about Christian Vega's death following an attempt to save Natalie and Jessica from Walker Flynn. Todd realized there were a number of articles about Vega in Hesser's file. He began reading the articles one by one leaning back into Blair's arms.

As Todd leaned back to make himself more comfortable Blair found herself remembering the events that transpired around the time of Christian's death. That was when she found out that Walker supposedly had a twin, or so she thought at the time. She had been so stupid to believe him but he had been so sincere and she had found herself falling for him. Later Walker Flynn would attempt to take Walker's place only to fall victim to a faulty elevator. She started reading the article Todd was reading and it was the one where Christian was accused of being an impostor and an assassin sent to kill someone for Carlo Hesser. It was later discovered that Christian had been brainwashed by Hesser into believing he was an assassin. It had taken months for Chris to break the hold Hesser had on him. Blair remembered that time when Christian had turned up alive, and then everyone had thought he was merely an impostor and a killer and then he had gone to prison. His memory began coming back and he realized he really was Christian Vega. With John McBain's help, Christian was able to get his life back, but Carlo had once again disappeared. Todd didn't move on to the next article and then Blair noticed that his hands had dropped to the side of the laptop. Todd had fallen asleep in her arms.

Blair slipped from behind Todd laying him back against the pillows on the couch and she quickly grabbed the laptop as it started sliding off his lap. She bookmarked the article and set the laptop aside to lift Todd's legs onto the couch and make him more comfortable. It was going on 7:00 a.m. by her watch so she called the Sun and spoke to Kelly's assistant letting him know she would be in at noon, then she headed upstairs to dress for the day. There was something nagging her about that article and she decided to look into it more as Todd slept.

Blair was working quietly sitting across from Todd when Starr and Hope began coming down the stairs. Blair hurriedly put the laptop down and rushed to signal the girls to be quiet. Starr and Hope quickly quieted down and tiptoed to the kitchen when they saw Todd asleep on the couch.

With the girls quietly in the kitchen, Blair got back to the timeline she had begun working on after reading the article again. As she began filling in the events from the moment of Todd's disappearance, she suddenly saw a bigger picture emerging. There had been another victim in Carlo's big plan. Christian had been the recipient of Carlo's project as well. But what didn't make sense was that Walker's conditioning had lasted eight years. Why had Christian’s been different? Blair decided to share what she had found out with Todd when he woke up. She was close friends with Chris and knew bringing up the subject of that time was going to bring back bad memories for him. She set her work down and went in search of some coffee and a little time with Starr and Hope.

Todd was back in that damn chair, he looked out from his bandages afraid to make a move because that would send waves of pain coursing through his body. He tried to say something but nothing came out but a moan. Then 'he' came walking into view. "Ah, you're back. We need to try this again I'm afraid, you haven't been a very cooperative patient. Now I need you to think about your father. Think about what he meant to you." Todd watched as that hand crept toward the lever again. 'Why did they want him thinking of his... No ... He didn't want to go there ... No... not again...he arched in pain screaming, inside his head, it was like something was peeling the thin layer of skin off and exposing the nerves. Todd screamed and jerked, waking abruptly, knocking the wine glass off the table.

Blair and Starr looked at one another as Todd's scream rent the air. Rushing to the living room they found him sitting with his head in his hands. He was so still. Blair rushed to his side. "Todd, what is it? Are you okay?"

Todd ran his hands through his hair and stared at the stain spreading like a pool of blood on the rug. "Damn! What else is he going to ruin?"

Blair looked over at Starr who shrugged, uncertain what Todd was talking about. "Todd, what do you mean?"

Todd looked at her and back at the floor. "The man is going to pay by the time we're through. I will personally take it out of his hide the way he took it out of mine."

Blair realized he was talking about Carlo, and the scream had been because of another nightmare. What had Todd remembered this time? She reached forward and moved his hair from his face saying, "Todd, you're right, we'll get him but perhaps you'd feel better if you got cleaned up. Starr and I have fresh coffee in the kitchen, why don't you go upstairs and  shower, It'll clear the cobwebs and I'll bring you a cup."

As she started to get up, he grabbed her hand and looked at her. His gaze was strong as he said. " Make it black." then he gently kissed her palm and stood up. "I'll see you up there." he took the stairs two at a time and disappeared from view.

Blair watched him go and then headed for the kitchen followed by Starr. "Mom what the heck just happened?" Starr went to let Hope out of the high chair, waiting for an answer from her mom.

Blair grabbed a couple of cups and filled them and turned to Starr. "Your father's been having new nightmare's and they're doozies. He also having flashbacks to his time in the facility where we think they took his memories. I'm going to take these up and chat with him and then I have to head into the Sun. Are you staying in for a while?   I don't want him dwelling on that dream too much."

Starr nodded and agreed to stick around for the early afternoon until her mom could return from the paper. She knew she and Hope could find some way to distract him.

Blair reached Todd's room as he was buttoning his shirt. She took his coffee to him and stole a moment to caress his chest before he could button all the way up. He smiled at the brief touch and took a sip, then set the cup down to finish dressing. "Hey I thought you were supposed to be running the Sun, who's minding the store while you're here teasing me," he grinned as she settled on the bed.

"For you information Mister, I've been working all morning while you slept. Those articles about Christian got me thinking and I've been putting something together you might find very interesting," she replied.

She looked gorgeous sitting on the bed her skirt high on her thighs showing her long legs. Todd sat down next to her stealing his own caress before reaching down to grab his shoes. "Well tell me, don't keep me in suspense. What is it about Vega that got your attention?"

Blair loved his little gesture but she knew it wasn't time for another roll in the hay. She jumped off the bed and held out her hand. "Come on, everything is downstairs. Believe me, it's an eye-opener."

Todd grabbed her hand, stood up and said "Let's go. I'll take all the good news I can get."

Once downstairs, Blair grabbed Todd's elbow and steered him over to the chair where she had everything spread out. She sat him down and sat on the floor in front of him and began showing him what she had figured out. Todd was fascinated at the timeline Blair presented starting with his disappearance. He sat back and listened as she talked about how Walker had come to town and rescued Mitch but had later helped them capture Mitch. After that, Walker had slowly gotten close to all of them. One by one he made friends including Starr. Then she told how Natalie got involved in playing pool and how a stranger, John McBain, entered Natalie and Chris's life encouraging Natalie to enter tournaments.

She told him how she followed Walker to Atlantic City and met a man calling himself Walker Flynn. Walker explained he was living a double life but it was later discovered by Blair that Walker was one man and Walker Flynn was a second. Then she told him about Vegas and how Walker told her Flynn was his twin. They found out Flynn was being watched by the FBI, one of whom turned out to be Flynn's man McBain working undercover, McBain was privy to the information that Walker was supposedly Todd Manning who had bought Walker Flynn's face. To escape the FBI Flynn kidnapped Christian's wife Natalie and Jessica. It was during the ensuing rescue that Christian was lost and feared dead.

Todd began looking intently at her timeline as Blair continued to tell her tale. She went on to tell him of Christian's reappearance and lack of memory and then how suddenly they all thought Christian was an imposter and a killer. She told of Christian going to Statesville but then he started having memory flashes. He was finally remembering who he was. Todd realized Blair had stopped talking and then her words hit home. He looked up to find Blair staring at him intently.

"Do you see it?" She asked

He looked at her timeline and put it together with what she had been saying , "Christian reappeared with memory loss and then thought he was someone else. You're saying he sounds a lot like me and Manning both. What haven't you told me?"

Blair knelt directly at his feet and grabbed his hands. "Todd, Christian was being manipulated by none other than Carlo Hesser. I think he was another experiment, but I've been wondering why Christian's manipulation by Hesser failed. You and Samuel just started having returning memories and Walker also has just started behaving strangely and having his headaches. By many standards, those kinds of results would have indicated a successful project. How come Hesser messed up with Christian? "

Todd pondered what Blair was saying and then a chill came over him.  He took a moment to find the right words because he was afraid it was going to hurt her to hear what he was thinking. "Blair you said Hesser brainwashed or tampered with Christian in such a way, that they made him a killer. I know this is going to bother you but I have to say it. Carlo and Dr. Kipling didn't make those kinds of careless mistakes. I'm afraid they might have allowed Christian to believe he was free of their manipulations. Blair, what if Christian is our mysterious sniper?"

His last words hung over the room, as Blair realized what Todd had just said. Surely Todd was mistaken. She sat down trying to wrap her thoughts around the idea that her dear friend might be the one who shot Walker. She shivered as she recalled how different Chris had become when he had returned from the dead. He had been secretive and angry. Natalie had been unable to get past that anger to the man she had married and by the time Christian remembered who he was, it was too late for them. But Chris wasn't acting differently now. He was the sweet caring man Blair had known for a long time. It just wasn't possible for Chris to be the shooter. "Todd you can't be serious. I know you don't like Christian but you don't really believe he's capable of planning and executing a hit on Walker."

“Blair, listen to me.  Don't you see, sleeper agents always appear perfectly normal to their friends? Everything that happened with Chris happened for a reason. Hesser achieved two goals. At first, he got rid of someone he wanted dead by using Christian as a fall guy and then as planned Chris got his memory back and was allowed to return to his life because he had committed the act while under the influence of another. Now with a few choice words, Hesser merely puts Chris back in action. No one would suspect him. He's an artist and a club owner. A member of this community for a long time. It's a perfect cover." Todd leaned forward and took Blair's face in his hands. "Blair, you'll have to be extra careful around Chris if he's Carlo's man. When you talk about me to Chris, gush about Samuel and the upcoming wedding and if you get a chance watch and see if he makes any unusual phone calls." Todd knew Blair was upset but he could see in her face that she was beginning to understand what he was talking about. He pulled her close into his arms, "I know this is hurting you. But after all that's happened, we have to accept that Hesser is a master player and his game is huge. Christian is just another pawn caught in it."

Blair clung to Todd. She didn't want to believe it but it began to make sense. Chris really was the perfect assassin. No one would think he was even involved in this mess. She wouldn't have until she started putting the timeline together. She brought Christian into the Timeline but Todd made sense of it. "Todd, can we help Christian, or must I stand by and watch him taken down with Carlo."

"I think that depends on how far Christian has gone for Carlo. The attempt on Manning failed. If he doesn't make another attempt now that Manning is recovering, and we capture Hesser and Kipling before anyone else gets hurt, then Christian can get help like Manning and hopefully get out from under Hesser." Todd stood up, pulling Blair up with him and said. "I need to find Bo, this is a development we didn't see. He might be able to track down something more on Christian. I need to find out what happened, if anything, to my two assailants. You go on into the Sun and check and see if Kelly's reporter in the Facility has any news." As she started to pull away he turned her back to face him. "By the way, thank you for all your work. You've added another piece to our puzzle again. Because of you, we found out Manning's link to Hesser and Kipling and now we've found out that Christian might and probably is another link. You never cease to amaze me." Todd kissed her, letting her know just how much he appreciated her.

Blair gently touched his lips with her hand and then turned to grab her bag and leave. "You keep remembering that," she said as she departed

After she left, Todd gathered up everything she had written and grabbed the phone to see if he could reach Bo. Informing the officer at the other end that he was Samuel Toddman, he was asked to wait.  A voice, he wasn't familiar with, answered.

"Mr. Toddman, this is Detective McBain, is there something I can do for you? The commissioner is out on personal business at the moment." John had taken the call because he was curious to talk to the real Todd Manning. "If you're calling concerning the recent attacks on you, I assure you I've been brought up to speed on the situation. There has been a development I think you would be interested in hearing, I can have the officer who's been keeping an eye on you bring you down here if you wish to talk."

Todd frowned, that last thing he wanted was to be taken to the station by the cops. "Detective, I don't think that would be acceptable at this time perhaps there is a place we could meet that doesn't scream informant or police involvement. Maybe we could meet for a drink someplace and just have in innocent conversation."

John estimation of Todd Manning went up a few notches as he realized the man knew something about keeping things close to the vest. "I have just the place.   What do you say we meet at Rodi's in a half an hour?"

Now that was more like it. Todd's memories of Rodi's were good and it was public enough to take suspicion off any sort of planned meeting. "That will be perfect. How will I know you?"

"Just ask the bartender. He'll point me out. One half hour then." John hung up and grabbed the file about the two dead assailants. He had only sketchy information so far as to this whole matter and Bo wasn't going to be much help with his son in such serious condition. This was a good distraction to take his mind off of Marty, Natalie, and the baby.

Todd put the phone down and walked into the kitchen where Hope and Starr were playing. "I'm going out for a while. You and Hope don't have to babysit me any longer today. I promise I'll be careful and you know Bo has an officer keeping an eye on me." At Starr's expression, Todd laughed. "I'll be good and not lose him. Okay?" Starr nodded and walked over to give him a quick kiss. Todd smiled and left.

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Memories Unlocked #7

         Todd was shocked, he was trying to wrap his head around the fact that his buddy Li Kwan was much sicker than he realized.  It never occurred to him that the children he had been spending all his time with were …Say it, Todd, they’re dying… No, it can’t be.  Blanca and Lucy don’t look that sick.  You idiot, Blanca’s been wearing a scarf the last week and even you were worried when Lucy had that coughing jag.  The truth of the situation hit him in the gut. God, and here I am feeling sorry for myself.  He was so deep in his thoughts he was startled when the doctor touched his shoulder again.

          “Todd, forgive me.  I thought you knew.  Most of them don’t mind talking about their illnesses, but I guess they didn’t want to worry you.  Too many people around here treat them like they’re invalids but you just treat them like they are children.  I just wanted you to know you‘re important to them.  So important that I had a long talk with the administrator this morning and she agreed to you staying on here at the hospital, but you’re going to have to work for your keep.  If you want it, the hospital would like you to join the staff as a Youth Morale Assistant.  You have a way with the children and it would give you a chance to remain here and get your therapy at the same time.”

          “You can’t be serious.  You don’t know anything about me.  Hell, neither do I, but you’re willing to let me stay here and just keep the kids happy.  I can’t even keep my own spirits up and now, after what you just told me, you expect me to keep theirs up.”

          “Yes, and whether you believe it or not, I think you’ll do everything in your power to make sure of that.  I’ve seen you with them.  Just yesterday, you stayed calm and cool when Lucy had her episode.  You kept the children from getting alarmed and you helped Lucy through it.  I’ve seen her own parents panic when she gets like that but you didn’t.  She trusted you.  You have a gift.  Please consider our offer.”

         Todd looked down at his body and rubbed his hands down his thighs.  “I don’t know:  I’m not sure I can do it.  Let me think about it.”

         “Very well Todd.  I realize today’s been another blow to you but please, I think you’d be helping yourself as much as the kids.  In the meantime, I want you to start some therapy this afternoon since your back is now healed.  You can let me know later what you decided.”  Miguela turned to leave the room.

         Todd watched her start to leave.  Stop kidding yourself.  It’s not like you can do anything else.  Admit it, you care for those kids.   “Wait, I’ll do it.  You’re right.  If I can make things better for them, even a little bit, it will be worth it.  Besides, I’ve got nowhere else to go either.”

         Miguela smiled. “Thank you, Todd.  I’ll tell the administrator and we’ll get the paperwork underway.  By the way, I haven’t yet given up on getting you back on your feet.  Who knows, miracles happen every day.”


         Todd laughed.  “I don’t think I rate a miracle, but thanks for saying it anyway.”

****

Blair got a spoonful of food into Jack and looked over at Starr.  “Hey, I thought you liked chocolate chip pancakes.  Usually, you gobble them down.”

Starr sighed and took a bite, eating it half-heartedly.  Then she set her fork down.  “I thought it would work.  He told me to talk to Fred and I’ve been doing that, but I really thought he would come home once he knew you still loved him.” She pushed the plate away from her.  “He said he loved me.”  

Blair could see the tears forming in her daughter’s eyes and her heart broke for her.  She had also held out hope that Todd was still alive and would see the article.  It had been three weeks since the fateful call from Sam Vance and as the weeks stretched out, Blair was beginning to fear that Todd was truly lost to them.  “Oh Baby Girl, he does love you.  Starr, I was hoping you wouldn’t get your hopes up so high when Briggs printed your plea.  Your Aunt Vicki put it in the Banner and I heard several other papers picked it up.  You have to be patient.  I know for a fact that Daddy would try anything to get home.  Something must be holding him up.  He loves you and your brother so much.  I want you to keep remembering that.”

“He loves you too, Mommy,” Starr said softly.

“I think he does Starr.  He just gets himself wound up about things and doesn’t believe I can love him back. Once we get him home we’ll give him so much love he won’t be able to deny it anymore.  Now try and eat some more.”  Suddenly Blair felt something wet hit her in the face. “What the….Jack?” Jack was covered in baby food and his little hands were waving trying to get some of the food off.  More strained peas went flying.

Starr laughed.  “Jack is eating with his hands, just like Daddy.”

Blair smiled lovingly at her son.and she reached to capture his hands before any more food ended up all over the kitchen.  “Yes, but Daddy usually gets the food to his mouth.  Oh dear, it looks like it’s the bathtub for you, Little Man.  Starr, do you want to eat anymore or help me?”

Starr grimaced.  “And get peas in my hair? No way!  I’m not very hungry anymore. Can I go feed my iguana?  The way he eats is cool.”

“Sure, Honey, you go do that.  Keep talking to Fred, too. We have to have faith Daddy might see your letter.”  Blair watched Starr head upstairs and then gathered up her son.  “Come on Jack, let’s get you cleaned up.  Who knows, your Daddy could show up out of the blue any day now.”  Although she spoke lightheartedly to her son, Blair knew she was just trying to keep her own hopes up.

****

Todd was exhausted but pleased with himself.  He had successfully made it into his wheelchair all by himself. He turned to Blanca and Lucy, who had been giving advice from the sidelines. “Okay gals, what did you think? Just like a Pro, huh?”

“You looked like a baby bird falling from a nest,” Blanca giggled looking at Lucy who was also trying not to laugh.  Then she got a gentle smile on her face, “but you did great Mr. Drake.  It will just take more practice and we know you’ll get it soon enough.”  Lucy nodded in agreement.

Todd chuckled picturing a baby bird struggling to stay in the air and having to settle awkwardly for the ground.  He had to admit to himself there was definitely a strategy to maneuvering out of the bed, that could have looked more graceful.  “Hey, you have to give me points for at least not ending up on the floor this time.”  They all laughed.  

The first time he had attempted it without the nurse, he had forgotten the sheet covering his legs and had gotten tangled up. In the effort to remove the sheet he had missed the chair and ended up sprawled halfway in the chair and the rest of him stuck on the floor.   He had been too embarrassed to call the nurse and the children had found him still struggling with the chair. Together they had helped him into it, but not without some false starts. It had been hilarious because the first couple of attempts, the chair kept rolling away until Todd finally realized both sets of wheels needed to be locked.  The nurse arrived just after they had all succeeded and praised him for making it into the chair by himself.  Everyone had roared with laughter, to the nurse’s bewilderment, but the children had kept his secret.

“Okay, we’ve got me settled.  I think this calls for some wheelchair races don’t you?” Todd had been taking his duties seriously. and the children had all perked up looking forward to his visits daily.  Li Kwan had even taken a turn for the better and was finally being allowed out of his bed.  He too had been a little shaky at first getting used to the wheelchair, but now he was like a whirlwind and in order to keep him from running everyone over, Todd had devised the races as a means of keeping some control.  Of course, he had set it up like drag races and those not in wheelchairs were also allowed to participate, so everyone got a turn.

“You two go get all the supplies and I’ll arrange the hallway we can use.”  He watched as Blanca and Lucy took off laughing to their ward.  His ears were listening to hear if Lucy started coughing.   Not a sound.  She seemed to be having a good day, but Todd couldn’t help worrying about her.   He had made it a point, once he was officially on staff, to find out as much as possible about all the children and their diseases.   Lucy had lung cancer and the aggressive treatments sometimes made her pretty sick but she was a trooper.  Todd marveled at all the kids and their cheerful natures despite their illnesses.   Even though at times he felt like screaming about his fate, he found he couldn’t when he was in the presence of the kids.

He wheeled himself onto the ward and alerted the nurses it was time for the drag races, then he went to check on Li to make sure the little guy was up to the challenge.  “Hey Li, how are you doing?  In honor of the fact that I got myself into this contraption all by myself, I decided we would have a racing day.  What do you say?  Want to take me on?”  As he pulled in he found Li’s family standing around.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Li’s mother beamed at him. “Don’t be sorry.  We’ve been wanting to meet you.  Li’s been telling us all about you, Mr. Drake.”

Todd looked at Li. “Well there isn’t really too much to tell,  But Li is a great little guy. So what do you say Li? Want to race?”

Li looked at his parents. “Can I?”

His mother and father looked at each other and back to Todd.  “What is this race? We don’t understand,”  replied Li’s mother.

Todd looked at the parents and the rest of the family standing around.  “It’s a wheelchair race.  We block off the hallway for a short while and race.  The kids love it.  Every one of the kids, not too seriously ill, participate.  It’s a way for all of us to let off steam.  Please, Li’s been making good progress with his wheelchair.  Let him participate, I’m sure he would love to have you come to root for him.”

His parents nodded and Li let out a happy whoop.  In a matter of minutes, he was in his wheelchair and they all made their way to the hallway.  As they rounded the corner, Todd smiled. Lucy and Blanca and some of the nurse staff had the racing decorations up and several of the other kids were ready and waiting with their wheelchairs.  In minutes laughter and cheers echoed through the hallways.  

Dr. Sanchez passed the Children’s unit and heard the sounds coming from it.  She went up to the main desk in the unit and smiled at the nurses working there.  “Let me guess.  Race day?

The head nurse smiled back and nodded.  “Mr. Drake wanted to celebrate that he got into his wheelchair by himself.  The kids love him and he really comes alive when he’s helping them.  He’s a great addition to the staff. “

“Yes, he is.  Now if only we could get him back on his feet.  His injuries have healed but he still has no feeling below the waist.”

“Well, it looks like he’s accepted it.  I think working with children has given him some purpose.”

“Maybe, but I think something is still blocking his full recovery.  Well, for now, he’s happy and the children sound happy, I’ll let you get back to work.”  Dr. Sanchez left and shortly after that, she sat at her desk looking at Todd’s chart.

****

Todd was wheeling his way back to his room when he passed a mother and father. The father was trying to take their baby and hand it to the doctor, but the mother was hysterical. He could hear the father pleading with her, telling her the baby was sick and the doctors could help, but she just hugged the child harder. He stopped and found himself watching as the father finally got through and the doctor took the baby.  Suddenly, the hallway began to spin and Todd slipped out of the chair to land in a limp pile on the floor.

Everything was black and he heard himself say “The best thing I can do for my daughter is disappear.”  Then he found himself sitting in a chair praying, only to stop abruptly.  “Ah, what a joke. You think I’m going to pray to you.  You make little kids sick. Are you trying to pay me back for all my sins?  Are you trying to get even with me for everything I’ve done all my life? “  He heard himself laugh. “Ah ha, I never gave you enough credit.  You are one sick son of a …. You should have taken me in Ireland.  You should have taken me in that stupid plane crash then I wouldn’t have to sit here while you punish her for my sins.  You want to hammer me for hurting other people, you go ahead, but you leave her out of this.  She’s good, She’s everything I’m not. You take me. Not her.” Todd’s head moved back and forth on the pillow as he repeated the words aloud. “You take me, not her.  Shorty….”  The dream faded and a tear slid down his cheek.   

Doctor Sanchez was standing by Todd’s bedside. She couldn’t even fathom what he was talking about, but the monitors indicated he was waking up.  “Todd, that’s it, open your eyes.”  She watched as his eyes fluttered open and his gaze settled on her.  “You gave everyone a scare.  Now lie still.”  she flashed a light into his eyes.  “Can you tell me what happened?  Who’s Shorty?”

Todd closed his eyes again, and his voice caught as he relived that moment in the hospital.  “She’s my daughter.” The memory of the dream hit him below the belt and he felt a deep sense of loss.  “I lost her.” he choked again as tears threatened to fall.

Miguela frowned. “A daughter.  You remembered a daughter.  What makes you think you lost her?  Maybe she’s the girl in your picture.”

“No, she was sick. really sick. I remember being in a chapel praying for her.  I can’t remember anything else.  Damn it.  God, why can’t I have all my memories back?  The ones I’ve gotten, just hurt.   I feel like I’m being torn apart by all these fragments.” Todd angrily scrubbed his tears away with his hand.

Miguela laid a gentle hand on Todd’s shoulder.  “I don’t know why the memories are so painful.  But the fact that you are remembering more and more is a good sign.  Can you tell me what happened before you passed out?  Something must have triggered your collapse.”

“I’m not sure.  I was headed back to the activities room and I passed a young couple.  Their child was sick and the mother was not handling it well.” Todd paused “I found myself watching and listening and then the hallway started spinning and that’s the last thing I remember.” Todd pushed himself up into a sitting position.  

“Well, obviously what you saw stirred up your most recent memory.  Although, I’m bothered by the fact that you collapsed.  I’d like to do another MRI.”  While she was talking to him, Dr. Sanchez was busy checking him out.  His pulse was racing and he was still agitated by the dream.

Todd pulled his arm away from the doctor. His tone was sharp.“No way!. Look, maybe I just overdid it today with the kids. I don’t need another damn test.  I’m fine,  I’ll rest for a while and then I’ll get back to work.  I’ve got a movie night all planned out.  The kids have been looking forward to it.” Todd was desperate  to get back to his routine.  The only thing keeping him sane was his work with the children.  If he was idle too long, the thought of not knowing who he really was, sent him spiraling down into a dark place.

Miguela gave Todd a hard look.  It was as she feared.  Todd was putting on a good show whenever he was around the children but in reality, he was still the frustrated angry man with no clear memory of his identity.  His psychiatrist was right.  Todd’s lack of knowledge about himself was keeping him tied to the chair.  He was afraid to regain the use of his legs.  He needed to stay close to the children and if he could walk, he’d have no more purpose in life.  “Fine Todd, you get a little rest.  I won’t push the test.  If you promise to take it easy this evening, I see no reason you and the children can’t have your Movie night.  What”s the Movie?”

“I managed to get hold of a copy of “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,”  Todd smiled.

“But didn’t that just come out.  How did you manage?”

“That’s my little secret.  Let’s just say I have ways.  The kids are going to be surprised.”

      “Frankly, I’m surprised.  That’s not a show I thought you’d be interested in.”

“Well, I don’t  know what I like, but that young Harry is my kind of kid.”

Miguela laughed at the admiration in Todd’s voice.  “Okay, maybe you like him because he reminds you of you.”

“Maybe.”  Todd laid back down.  Was that it?  Was he like Harry?

“You rest.  I’m thinking the wheelchair races should be put on hold for a while.  We don’t want to wear out our Youth Coordinator.”

The Movie Night was a great success.  Todd had called a local theater owner and had asked the man if he would consider bringing the movie to the hospital.  After hearing that the children were unable to attend a proper showing because of their conditions, the owner not only had agreed but had sent all the equipment needed to show the movie.  He had even sent a popcorn machine and had it popping when the children arrived.  His staff and the orderlies had set up the room to accommodate all the children.  The children had been very excited and when the movie started they all squealed with joy.  Todd sat in his chair watching the children, enjoying their reactions even more than the show.  For a few short hours, his heart was happy.

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