Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 33

As planned Ray picked up Blair's cousin and dropped her off at Dorian Lord's house. Then he headed back to his place to pick up his own tuxedo and Todd's rings before going back to the airport to pick up the Reverend. The plan was to make sure the Reverend got settled at the Palace hotel and then they would go to Todd's estate to finish getting dressed. Ray was anxious to get to Todd's. He was worried about Todd's mental state and wanted to be there if Todd started to get cold feet. In his heart, Ray felt it was important for Blair and Todd to be married before he faced surgery. Ray was counting on Todd's bond with Blair to be strengthened by the marriage. Thereby giving Todd the extra push he needed to come back to Blair if he felt himself slipping away.

Across town at Dorian's, the house was bustling with activity. Blair and Starr were laughing and giggling as they prepared lunch. Kelly had just gotten home from her short day at work so she could help Blair get ready. Addie was making sure Sam and Jack had gotten fresh haircuts and were back to get dressed for the evening festivities. No one realized Dorian had arrived during the night until she walked into the kitchen. "Well my girls are all in a good mood. What has everyone so happy?" Just as Blair was going to tell her, the doorbell rang and Dorian said "Hold that thought."

Starr looked at her mom. " Mom, does Aunt Dorian even know you and Samuel were dating?"

"Oh my god no. She doesn't even know who I met in Paris. Much less that the man I found in Paris is your Dad. Remember Starr, no matter what, right now we tell her I'm marrying Samuel and after we're married and back home then we can bring Dorian into the loop. It never occurred to me that Dorian wasn't in the know. She's been so involved in her own little problems and then gone with David to California I just haven't kept her informed. We've been working so hard to keep Samuel and Todd under wraps so that Carlo didn't find out he was even here, that Dorian was included in the people left in the dark. I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet and tell her about the wedding tonight." Blair felt a little sick, Dorian was going to be so hurt that she had been kept out of the loop and they were going to have to continue to lie if Todd's plan was going to have a chance of working.

Dorian approached the front door and opened it to find her daughter standing outside. She screamed bringing Blair and Starr looking to see what had happened . Then Blair screamed in joy seeing Cassie standing in front of her. "How? What are you doing here?" Blair exclaimed.

"I was invited to a wedding by your fiance last night. Blair how come you never mentioned him? He's very personable on the phone, so much so I couldn't refuse when he said he wanted to surprise you." answered Cassie smiling.

Blair gushed "Oh my God this is so great, trust him to do something like this. I'm so glad you're here."

"Excuse me. What do you mean you're here for a wedding?" asked Dorian dryly.

Blair looked around at Dorian guiltily. "Um mm ...I'm getting married tonight. You're invited of course. I just haven't had a chance to tell you. You were in California, I didn't know you were coming home. Look isn't it great.  You get a chance to see your daughter and catch her up on all the things going on with you and David." Blair paused wondering when Dorian was going to blow her top.

Cassie looked from her mother to Blair and realized her mother was just as in the dark as she had been. "Look I can see you need to talk. Starr, perhaps you could show me where I can stay and get ready for tonight." She followed Starr upstairs and then more cries of gladness were heard as Cassie and Kelly reunited.

Dorian walked into the living room feeling slightly betrayed because she apparently was the last to know that Blair was getting married. She hadn't even known Blair was even seeing anyone. "So you're getting married tonight. Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Dorian, you have to understand this wedding came up so fast. We've only been engaged a short time and the other day we decided we didn't want to wait any longer. You haven't been here, there is a lot going on for both of us. Samuel is deeply involved with something the requires his immediate attention and I've just found out Jack's involved in the death of Gigi Morasco. I need Samuel more than ever and he needs me." Blair hoped Dorian was really listening. She knew how her Aunt could get and she needed Dorian to understand.

Dorian sat down and said "Who is this Samuel and where did you meet him?"

"I'll tell you the short version but Dorian you have to promise that you'll listen and not judge, and I'm telling you up front, this wedding is happening this evening whether you approve or not. I love Samuel very much and he loves me. I met Samuel in Paris. He's the artist of the portrait that Eli left for me." Blair said and before she could get anything else out Dorian spoke up.

"Oh Blair really, not an artist. Have you not learned anything. Always inappropriate men. Let me guess. He lived in a little garret apartment and was barely scraping by, but he was so enamored with you, he followed you back here. Really I thought you were more savvy than that." laughed Dorian.

Blair could feel her blood begin to boil. This was one time when she wanted to wipe the smile off her aunt's face. If Dorian knew the truth she'd be shocked. Blair held her anger in check and stated. "Actually Samuel is a respected artist around the world and is actually quite wealthy in his own right. He's also the majority stockholder of The Sun and you should know he's a distant relative of the Lords." Blair reached over and picked up the copy of The Sun and handed it to Dorian. The front page headline read.

Sun Owner to Take the Plunge.

'New owner of the Sun will wed in a quiet ceremony at undisclosed location this evening. Mr. Samuel Toddman and his lovely bride to be, Ms.Blair Cramer, will then be departing on a private jet to parts unknown for their honeymoon. Sources say the couple will return to reside in Llanview.'

"Now Dorian, if you think you can keep your thoughts about my soon to be husband to yourself, then I would like you to be at the wedding this evening. I want you to be happy for me and I don't have time to prove to you that I am. Will you come, it would mean a great deal to me if you were there?" Blair waited praying Dorian had gotten past her hurt and would agree to come.

Dorian read the paper and was impressed but more than anything else she heard the love in Blair's voice for this Samuel. All she ever wanted was for her girls to be happy, and from the sounds of it Samuel was making Blair happy. She had never heard of Samuel Toddman and was curious as to his connection to the Vicki and the Lords. If she wanted to meet this man it sounded like tonight was the only night she was going to be able to. David had headed back to California to finish editing his movie. "Blair of course I'll come to your wedding. I at least have to let him know he's marrying a Cramer woman and he better treat you right or he'll have me to deal with."

Blair gave her aunt a big hug and then realized the time, "Oh Lord, the afternoon is half over and I'm nowhere near ready."

The next few hours were spent doing hair and makeup then Starr and Blair pulled out the gowns for the wedding and everyone found themselves getting teary eyed. Soon all were ready to go and Dorian asked, "Just where is this wedding taking place and how are we getting there?"

Starr spoke up. "Samuel said the location is a surprise but to expect a limousine around 6:00 pm which is just a few minutes from now." As if by magic the limousine pulled into the driveway and they all got in. Everyone, especially Blair, filled with anticipation for the event ahead.

Vicki returned home. It had been a busy morning and now she needed to relax a little bit and rest before getting ready for the Wedding. Jessica and she had talked about her brother long into the night and Vicki had told Jessica all about Todd's heart and the implant in his brain. She told her about the person they believed responsible for everything Todd had been through in the last eight years and then they talked about his alters. Vicki explained that Todd was one of a few people that suffered from DID who was aware of and accepted each of his alters as an essential part of himself. Todd had gone so far as to actually find ways to co-exist with them and he felt they were more like real family to him than just aspects of himself. Strangely enough, it worked quite well for Todd and kept him sane. Jessica couldn't help but admire her uncle still she knew there was no way she could live with her alters like that.

Vicki had already talked to Jessica on her way home and she and Bree were getting their hair done at Roxy's and they would be home after making a few more stops. Vicki entered the kitchen to get some lunch and was surprised to find Natalie there making herself something. "Natalie, I thought you had to work today. I'm surprised to see you home."

"I did work this morning but I got the afternoon off so I could get ready for the wedding." answered Natalie.

Vicki was thrown for a loop. How did Natalie know about the Wedding and why did she say she was going? "I don't understand. Who's wedding are you attending, I would have thought after what happened recently you would have stayed away from weddings."

"Well I almost said I couldn't attend but then I decided he needed the family support. He's been on the outside of this family long enough. If all of you can accept me after everything I brought down on this family, then I felt it was only fair to accept him the way you and Jessica do. Besides I could tell something is different, something happened in the last eight years and it's taken its toll on him. I should tell you that John and Brody will be attending also. They'll be here as escorts for Jessica and me, but in reality John wants to make sure Carlo doesn't make another uninvited visit. I guess I need to have a chat with Jessica just to prepare her for John and Brody." Natalie paused thinking about the upcoming conversation with Jessica when she realized her mom had asked a question. "I'm sorry Mom. What did you ask me?"

Vicki looked at her daughter and repeated her question. "When did Carlo make an uninvited visit."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything.  It's an ongoing case but since I already let the cat out of the bag, here goes. Carlo Hesser dropped in unannounced the other day trying to see if Samuel was still Samuel or if he had regained his memory of Todd. I guess Todd managed to convince him he was Samuel. Todd wanted proof for Uncle Bo that Carlo was close by, so he asked for someone to come and dust the place for fingerprints, that ended up being me. Mom when did Todd become such a good artist? His portrait of you is stunning."

Not even thinking, because she was still wrapping her head around the fact that Carlo had visited with Todd, Vicki said ,"Oh Todd didn't paint that, Samuel did. Samuel is an excellent artist but Todd could give him a run for his money if he wanted to. Todd's style is more dramatic." She no sooner finished her sentence then realized what she had said.

Natalie looked at her mother amazed. That was why it had seemed strange yesterday when she had looked at the portraits. She had thought they were painted by someone else and they had been. My god, her uncle had alters too. She didn't know what to say to this latest revelation but now some of the things Todd had said fell right into place. "I see. Well now there's even more I'm going to want explained but this isn't the time. I'm going to go check on Liam and start getting ready. I still need to have that chat with Jessica, before the guys get here."

It was around 6:00 pm when John and Brody showed up to escort all of them to the estate. Vicki helped Bree into the car and Jessica and Natalie had the babies. The limo driver had the instructions so they all sat back as they headed for the wedding. John brought Vicki and Jessica up to speed with the developments concerning Carlo. Bo had decided that John and Brody would be less conspicuous than regular cops because of their connection to the two sisters. Bo figured better safe than sorry if Carlo should decide to crash the wedding.

The limousine turned down the estate road and Jessica and Natalie both exclaimed at once as the house came into view. The grounds with the many wildflowers scattered here and there just enhanced how simply and beautifully the house fit into it's surrounding. Todd, Ray and Andrew were waiting at the front door when the Limousine pulled up to drop them off.

"Welcome to Dragonheart." Todd said as he helped his sister from the car.  He escorted her into the great room and Vicki's breath caught as she viewed the two new additions that were hung on opposite walls in the great room.

Beautiful portraits of Blair graced the room. One had an almost ethereal quality to it as Blair seemed to be descending a staircase from the clouds dressed in a flowing gown of white. The other portrait was a full length portrait of Blair the day of their 2001 Wedding, she was gazing with love at the profile of a man facing her. "Oh Todd, they're breathtaking." He smiled at her and replied. "Samuel says to tell you thank you. He painted them with this house in mind. They were shipped here months ago." He seated his sister and went to talk to the musicians. By his watch the limousine carrying Blair would be arriving in a short amount of time. After instructing them to start playing, he proceeded to greet his two nieces. He bowed very properly to his great niece as she giggled delightedly and when he ask her if she would be a flower girl she nodded enthusiastically. Natalie introduced him to Liam and he thanked her for coming on such short notice. Then he had a short talk with Brody and John. His watch chimed and he nodded once again to the musicians.

The limo carrying Blair pulled into the driveway. Everyone in the car were very curious where they would be delivered but the view that appeared before them as the clearing opened up produced sighs and exclamations at the beauty of the scene. Blair couldn't believe her eyes.  Where had Todd found this place and who owned it? It was positively gorgeous.

Ray was waiting at the door to help them alight.  He spoke briefly to Starr and she took Hope and started to enter, when suddenly Hope's little voice spoke up. "Look Mommy, Sir Dragon." Starr gazed in wonder at the beautiful windows flanking the door and knew immediately whose house this was. As she stepped inside her heart filled with love for her father as he had outdone himself this time. Ray directed her over where Bree waited and Starr helped the little girls get ready to walk down spreading flower petals as they walked. Ray told Jack he was to escort his mother in and to wait for the signal. Then Ray escorted Addie and Dorian in while Brody and John escorted in Cassie and Kelly .

Blair was still standing just outside the house drinking in the entrance way and realizing that this was Todd's house. She stepped into the entrance way and admired the design of it, recognizing the simplicity and the symbolism. Jack walked to his mother and presented her his elbow. She placed her hand on his arm as the musicians began playing "Unforgettable".

Starr sent Bree and Hope walking in and they carefully spread the wildflowers before them. Then Starr handed her mom the bouquet and gave her a kiss and started into the room where Ray and her Father waited. As the final strains of "Unforgettable" finished, the Sun hung low in the sky and filled the room with the glorious shades of Sunset. With the sunlight streaming in Todd stood there his eyes on the only one that mattered. As Jack and Blair prepared to enter the room, she heard the strains of "My One and Only Love " begin, and looking forward her eyes locked with his, she began her walk to her only Love.

She was a vision. She wore a gown of lace the clung to her body, and as she moved the setting sun glistened off small diamonds nestled in the centers of intricately woven flowers making it appear like she was covered in dew covered flowers. Jack brought his mother to Todd, he squeezed her hand as she gave him a kiss on the cheek then he sat down next to his sister. Todd held out his hand to her saying "Be with me." Her eyes were sparkling with tears as she moved to join him. They joined hands and turned to face Andrew.

Blair couldn't believe that Todd had talked Andrew into performing the ceremony. It was all so surreal. From the moment she had stepped through those carved doors she felt like she had stepped into a fairy tale. The house had welcomed her and had drawn her to the center where her heart stood waiting for her. There he stood bathed in light, incredibly handsome and all hers. He had arranged all this, surprising her like he always did. She felt his hand give hers a slight squeeze as if to reassure himself that she was there, in response she rubbed her thumb alongside his hand to let him know she wasn't going anywhere.

Andrew began as the music died down. "We come this evening to give our blessings to two people who have decided to join together and become one as husband and wife. There are many different relationships that people enter into for one reason or another, but every once in a while God establishes a relationship that seems to defy the odds. One man and one woman come together and realize that they can't be whole unless they are with each other. Samuel and Blair have formed that kind of relationship. They've come to realize they are stronger together and in order to continue to survive they've chosen to bind themselves together with all of you as their witnesses. If anyone here knows of a reason why they should not be joined together please speak now.

From the moment she had entered the house and seen Samuel, Dorian had been controlling her suspicions. Could Samuel really be Todd and was he fooling Blair, if so she couldn't let the marriage go on. Not if Todd was once more going to ensnare Blair. As she started to stand up she was jerked tightly down on to her chair and Addie whispered in her ear. "Dorian, just this once keep your mouth shut. My little girl is entering this with her eyes and heart wide open and you won't ruin it." Dorian was immediately at a loss for words, looking at her sister and seeing Addie was serious. She frowned but settled back in her chair.

"Samuel informed me he and Blair would be saying their own vows so the floor is now theirs." Andrew turned to Todd, "Anytime you're ready, Samuel"

Todd turned to face Blair knowing finally that if the worst was to happened, this night would fill all of his tomorrows as he could die happy with the knowledge she was truly his. "Blair, for most of my life I've searched for the one who would ignite the spark that was buried deep within me. My very existence was cold and bleak. You arrived in my life when I had all but given up, convinced that no one would ever be able to melt the ice that surrounded me. Then I met you and little by little you chipped away till you found that spark. You fed it and nurtured it giving yourself to me in little ways with your support and encouragement. But the day you told me you loved me with all my flaws and failings was the day that spark burst into flame. My love for you burns deeply within, filling me with a warmth that a simple touch from you can bring me back from the point of death. I need you like I need air to breathe, you're the other half to this heart. I promise to be there for you, to honor and cherish you because to do otherwise would be my own undoing. I exist because of you and I love you. Without you I am nothing."

Blair could hardly breathe. Todd had never expressed his feelings like that before. "Samuel before you came along, I was a mess. Every relationship I tried ended badly because I was afraid to trust what my heart was telling me. In an effort to hide my feelings, I fell back into old habits of letting other people tell me what I was feeling instead of trusting myself. Then I met you and you let me, be me. In my grey dingy life you brought laughter and color. You made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet. You cared nothing about my past, you merely asked that I be with you. No strings, no stipulations. I nearly lost you recently and I know as sure as I'm standing here, I would have followed you to the depths of hell to bring you back to me. I love you and I won't live without you. Your heart holds me fast and if you let go I'll be lost forever. I promise to love you and cherish you and I'll be with you until we breathe our last breaths.

They looked at each other knowing they both had more to say, but the rest would wait. Andrew asked if there were rings and Ray and Sam handed them over. Blair looked at the ring Sam dropped into her hand and realized it was the ring she had made for Todd and that they had used for their first wedding. She had been convinced that Todd had destroyed the ring.

Todd reached out and took Blair's left hand in his then he slid his mother's ring back onto her hand hopefully for the last time.

Blair recognized his mother's ring and tears began to fall. The heartache and the deceit of their first marriage were swept away by Todd's gesture. They had come full circle and this time everything was in its proper place. She took his hand and completed the ceremony by putting her gift back on his finger where it belonged.

Andrew was smiling as they turned back to him. He had had his doubts when Todd had called. But now he knew with certainty that Blair and Todd were truly meant to be together. He finished his job to make things legal. "By the authority granted me by the state of Pennsylvania and the Grace of God, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your Bride."

Todd drew Blair close and gave his beautiful wife a kiss.

Then Andrew stated." May I present, Mr and Mrs. Samuel Toddman."

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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Chasing the Monsters: 47

"Come on, run!  Run, Ray, you can do it!"  Blair said, as her youngest son plowed around and under the legs and reaches of his father, grandfather and older brother in a mini football game.  

He is fast.  Like his Daddy.  

She poured iced tea over frozen cubes in some tall glasses and waited for the fallout.  Dorian, perched beside her on a patio chair, said, "That little one is as fast as lightening."

There was an outburst of cheering from Starr, on the sidelines, and both women looked back to the yard.  Ray had made it across the "goal line" and was dancing around crazily.  Todd, Timothy and Jack were feigning (perhaps, or was it real?) defeat and exhaustion. 

Blair noticed her husband was up, off the ground, first of the three.  He went to his son and picked him up and hugged him.  "Great job, Ray," he said, mussing his hair again, that was partially in a ponytail, going a short way down his upper back.  

Bitsy and Sam were on a bench, in the shade, and both shared a blanket (it was still cool in early evenings) while they practiced Sam's spelling words and talked quietly.  Sam wasn't much for sports at this point; he was more often seen playing a video game, reading or painting.  

Bitsy got up and approached the women, and pulled up a chair.  Jack was now up, extending a hand to his grandfather, and Todd walked over, with Ray in his arms, and offered a hand as well.  The two of them got Timothy safely off the ground, and Ray was laughing at him.  "Gwandpa's hair!  It's sticking up!"

Bitsy said, "Sam's so into his spelling bee."  Jewel was sitting in a miniature law chair, playing with two of her dolls.  One had no pants on.  Bitsy said, "You might want to dress her for company," to the little toddler, who smiled, and made her dolls dance.

"Sam always loved spelling, and words, and reading books," Blair said.  She glanced over, and he had taken out his miniature laptop, that Todd had bought him not a year ago, and was logging on.

"A very bright boy," Dorian said, and then back to the men, "Hey, watch out for your grandfather, Jack."

"The old man is fine, if that's what y'ar worried about," Timothy answered, and the three of them, with Ray in Todd's arms, walked toward the house.  Todd put Ray down, and the boy proceeded immediately to begin running around the yard again, this time kicking the ball and chasing it.  As his youngest son ran off, Todd caught sight of Sam on his laptop, intently typing.  He said, "Thanks for the iced tea," and took his glass, heading off toward Sam.

Dorian said, "Blair, I really have to say that I'm glad to be here today," she took Timothy's hand as he sat down, "and to have reunited with this man here."

"I am glad, too, Aunt Dorian," Blair said.

"And I'll say one more thing.  I do want to give it time before saying too much, but I think I've been wrong, again, about that man there," she nodded toward Todd, who was making his way to Sam and the bench.  "I've been wrong before, and I've also been right.  This time, I believe I've made a mistake."

"Thank you, Dorian," Blair said, and she was moved.

Bitsy said nothing; she was watching Little Ray run around the yard, his ponytail bouncing in the back, and a huge smile on his face.  She blurted out, "That was Todd; he's so much like him."

"Gamma Bitsy, Gamma Bitsy!" the little boy cried out, "Come on!  A bug!  A big, big bug!"

She smiled, and got up, walking to him.

"That woman is a miracle," Dorian said.  "And I haven't even heard it all."

Jack said, "Yep, and she's pretty cool."

"Seems like you all love her, that's important," Dorian said.

Over in the shade, Sam was not ready for Todd's approach, in fact, he was so engrossed in what he was doing that he never noticed his father coming.  Todd, holding his iced tea and walking with his strong, confident gait, took his time, and then Sam, finally noticing, hurriedly closed his laptop as Todd sat beside him.

"It's a surprise," he said.

"I like surprises," Todd answered.

"I love Grandma Bitsy and Grandpa Timothy.  Why can't they be married?"

"They're not in love.  Grandma is still working things out, and Grandpa is in love with Auntie Dorian."

"I think they should be married, though.  Don't you?"

"Well, it doesn't always work that way."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So when do we see your surprise?"

"Sometime."

"Okay, wanna come over and hang out with us now?  It's almost lunch."

"Yeah, okay."

As Sam walked away, it was then that he had a sudden realization.  The boy had gradually become sullen, sad.  He knew it was likely a result of the aftermath of Peter's attack and losing Mixie, but there was something else.  For a moment, he mentally chastised himself for not noticing before how different Sam had become.  Was it maturity, or something else?  He was tempted to grab the laptop from him, and see what he had been orchestrating as the "surprise."  But, he knew that would hurt Sam, and he didn't want to scare or hurt his son.  It would take something else; he'd figure it out.  And he might just enlist the help of someone else.

***

The day progressed, uneventfully.  After a good lunch, the adults, except Bitsy, retired to the family room, and the kids were either in bed or playing in their rooms.  Bitsy and Sam were commiserating on a new painting.  She had already put Ray and Jewel to sleep.

Todd, Blair, Timothy and Dorian sat by the fireplace, talking over the antics of the kids.  Starr had just left; she was on her way to put her own daughter to sleep for the night.  Timothy was reflecting on the past year, and the things he'd lost - especially Eric.  

Todd said, "But you had a chance to see him, at least, make things right, and be there, you know. . ."

"Yes.  I think I've actually said those things to ya myself."

"Yep, that's where I got them.  Figured you needed to hear yourself back to yourself."

"The children are wonderful," Dorian said.  "They light up the world, don't they?"

Everyone agreed, and Blair said, "We're so fortunate."

Todd said, "Yeah, we are, but, uh, I don't like what's going on with Sam."

Blair said, "He's just going through a phase.  Growing up.  The nightmares are taking a lot out of him."

"You said he had less," Dorian said, "Since Bitsy taught him the painting?"

"Yes."

"He's such a dear tyke."  Timothy said.  "He does seem less . . . expressive."

"More to himself," Dorian agreed.

Blair looked at Todd, and he connected with her eyes, in a way that made her both relieved and concerned at the same time:  relieved that he knew something, and afraid of what he knew.  She said, "He'll grow out of it."

"Certainly," Timothy said, looking at his watch.  "Dorie, what do ya say?  We've got a long way to drive."

"Yes, I guess we should go," she said, standing, and he did the same.  

Blair walked them out, with Todd behind her, holding her hand.  "Thanks for coming, it meant a lot to the kids and to us."

"See ya later, Bridgette.  Keep this one in line," Timothy said, kissing Blair's cheek. 

The door closed behind them and Blair turned to her husband.  "What's this about Sam?  You know something."

"I don't know something, I suspect something.  Something's scaring him, and it's not just Peter "Freak" Manning's attack a year ago." 

Bitsy appeared at the bottom of the stairs.  "Everyone's in bed, except Jack."

"Thank you, Momma," Blair said.

"Sam's all right, for now," she added.  "He does seem troubled.  He's nothing like the little boy I met at St. Anne's Hope Weekend."

"No, he's different. He's growing up, and . . . other things," Blair stumbled.

"Has he ever said anything about something else scaring him, to you, Momma?"  Todd asked.

"Peter scares him, death scares him.  You and Blair being gone, scares him tremendously.  He's afraid of losing his family.  It permeates everything.  He's such a dear."

"Anything to do with that computer?"

She looked puzzled.  "Not that I can think of, Todd.  Why do you ask?"

He relayed to both of them the event at the picnic, and how Sam had reacted.  Bitsy said, "He's never discussed that with me.  What about Jack?  Jack's tech savvy.  Maybe he knows something?"

"He's my son," Blair said, ringing her hands, "I should know what's wrong with him.  I mean, he goes to therapy, for God's sake."

Bitsy seemed uncomfortable for a moment before Todd spoke, "It's all right, Babe.  Could be nothing,"  he reassured his wife.  "And it's not just you.  None of us realized it, if it's what I think."

Blair hugged herself, and Bitsy watched them in silence.  

Todd said, "I'm bound and determined to find out.   Going to have a talk with Jack.  Good idea, Momma."  He headed up the stairs.  Blair went to the couch in the family room and sat down, staring off into the fireplace.

Bitsy followed her, and sat as well.  After some silence, the older woman said, "I know what you're feeling."

"He's my son.  I should know these things."

"You're a good mother, Blair.  I've seen it, and you are.  Your babies come first."

Blair didn't respond, simply for the fact that she knew the immense guilt that Bitsy was grappling with.  And, as she sat there next to her, she started to feel that Bitsy was right about herself.  As Todd's mother, she hadn't done what needed to be done to protect him.  She had let him down, even though it wasn't intentional, because she simply wasn't strong enough to fight it.  These thoughts Blair pushed away, feeling angry with herself for allowing them to seep into her consciousness, and instead said, "Thank you."  She just sat quietly, keeping her recent thoughts to herself, and thinking of what could come next for her son.

***

"Hey, Jack, you busy?"  Todd said, poking his head into his son's room.

Jack pulled the earbuds out of his ears and said, "Hey, Dad, no, why?"

"I wanted to talk to you, about something."

"Sure, go ahead."

"I was wondering, it's about your brother, Sam."

"That little puny nut?  Sure, whatever."

"Don't call him a nut.  Your mother and I are worried about him.  He's been acting so differently."

"Well, he is kinda weird."

"What do you mean?"

"To himself more.  He used to want to play, or mess around.  Now he's just sort of, I don't know, a loner?  To himself, or something?"

"What do you think it's about?"

"Mostly?  The 'bad man.'  Whoever it is this week."  Jack rolled his eyes.

"Jack, that's a little insensitive, right?"

"Maybe.  But it changes.  Mostly, it's your father . . . I mean, Peter.  Sometimes it's not.  It's just a bad man, or sometimes it's even Zeus."

"Zeus?"

"Yep.  He has a list of 'bad men,' I guess.  Sometimes they don't have faces."

"Jack, I have something important to ask you."

"Sure, go ahead.  I don't mind."

"Is the bad man ever . . . me?"

"What?" Jack laughed, "Heck no!  You're the hero in most of them, or else you're the dragon, or the dragon is the hero."

"The dragon," he said, gazing off.

"Yeah, Dad.  When you were gone, Mom told stories about the dragon, to all of us.  We all knew it was you, even though you weren't around.  I know that sounds strange, but I guess I mean, we all know NOW that it was you the whole time.  Zeus just never cut it, where Mom was concerned.  I always knew that; Starr kinda got sucked in.  She just loved you so much, Dad.  She had to have you there, Mom too."

He swallowed.  "Not sure what they were so enamored with."

"Hey, that's an SAT word.  Enamored.  Anyway, they were enamored with you.  I didn't know you, much, before . . . well, you know the history."

"Back to Sam, okay?  Does he . . . is there something on the computer he is spending time on or afraid of?"

"Uh, I don't know.  Well, maybe.  He's sort of like into gaming?  Because of me, probably.  There are some scary games on there."

"Could that be making him afraid more?"

"Yeah, I guess.  You want me to check on it, like, take his laptop from him and figure it out?"

"I don't want him upset, or anything, Jack.  It's bad enough."

"No, he gave me the password.  The goofy little runt trusts me a lot."

"Then, yeah, that would be good."

"Okay.  I'll have to check tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because he sleeps with it.  I mean, he keeps it near him.  Sometimes, he brings it in his tent with him."

"Really?" Todd said, getting a growing sick feeling in his stomach.

"Yeah, sometimes."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Go get it, will you?"

"Now?"

"Yeah.  If he's up, well . . ."

"I'll tell him I want to use it.  He won't care.  Something's bad, right Dad?"

"Something's . . . well, something is concerning us.  Can you get it?"

"Yep."  He got up off the bed and went out of the room.  Todd waited for his eldest son and sighed.  Looking around the room, it had all the elements of a teen boy's room, and Todd realized that soon, Jack would be gone, and Sam would have his pick of the rooms left, and then Ray would move into his own space.  A slight lump formed in his throat when he spotted a picture of Jack as a baby with him and Blair.  It was at La Boulaie, and Jack was in all white.  Clouds cleared as he realized it was Jack's christening.  He blinked.

Jack came back in with the laptop and signed on.  Todd said, "Was he awake?"

"No.  Surprised, but he wasn't."

"He doesn't sleep well," Todd thought of himself.  What if they were wrong?  What if Peter somehow . . .

No, Manning.  Cut that shit out.

Jack said, "Well, he's not got too much game action on here after all.  The last one he played was NBA 2013.  There's nothing scary about that."

"Well, check the history then."

"Nothing much here, except . . . huh?"

Todd admitted to himself that Jack's reaction startled him.  "What?"

"He's on Skype, Dad.  A lot of times."

"Skype?"  Todd could only think of one thing.  

A predator has my son.

"Let me see it, Jack."  Todd said, snatching it away from his son.  He clicked around and saw that the settings were off.  "It's got no chat record."

"You can shut that off and turn it on,"  Jack said, and he pointed, "see?"

"Yeah, I see."  Todd felt sick.  But at the same time, he didn't want to alarm Jack, so he said, "Kids today, they get into everything.  I'm just going to set it to record who he's talking to, so we can make sure he's okay.  You with me on this?"

"If you're asking if I can keep it quiet, then yeah.  He's too trusting.  Could be anyone.  Things aren't safe these days online."

"All right, then.  I'll save these settings, and we'll wait it out.  Can you put it back?"

"Sure, but there's no need to.  He'll come and get it if he wakes up or in the morning."

"Then, let's leave it on, maybe something will happen overnight?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea.  If I get to skip school tomorrow, I'll stay up and watch it?"

"Hmf, good try.  Let's just see what happens.  Whoever it is won't talk to you or me anyway, when they see us."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Jack, for this.  And, uh, let me tell your mother, my way."

"All right.  But maybe you'd better wait until you know it's not just a little girl from 4th grade."

"Not a bad idea."

"Night."

"Night, Jack," Todd said, and walked out of his room.  He leaned against the wall outside Jack's door.  

What if some freak is after my son?  Simple.  I'll kill the bastard.

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Memories Unlocked #18

Blair reached Dr. Sanchez’s office.  She was nervous.  She still didn’t know just how this doctor was connected to Todd.  Her jealousy reared its head, as she pictured Todd getting close to another woman.  Stop it, Blair.   Tea aside, Todd’s always been pretty faithful. He was coming back to you.  She knocked on the door.  From inside, a voice said. ‘Come in.”

Blair looked down at Starr. “Here we go.  Are you ready?”  Starr nodded and Blair opened the door.  “Excuse me, Dr. Sanchez,  I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me.”  She stopped.  Sam Vance’s picture didn’t do the woman justice.  Dr. Sanchez was stunning.  What was it with Todd and women? He'd had more than his share of women wanting to help him.  First, there was Rebecca, then Tea, and now Dr. Sanchez.  Although,  Blair had to admit, that the woman sitting behind the desk, was definitely many steps up from Tea. Blair took a little comfort in the fact that Todd always kept coming back to her, or so she had thought until arriving in Guam.

Miguela glanced up from her paperwork and found herself looking at three people she never thought she would see in her office.  It was as if Todd’s picture had come alive.  As shocked as she was, it appeared the woman looking at her was equally so.  Wanting to break the awkward silence, Miguela stood up.  She was eager to find out what the woman was doing in her office. “Hello, you have me at a disadvantage.  Could you tell me your name and what I can do to help you?”

Blair blinked and realized she had been staring. “I’m sorry.  My name is Blair Manning and I’m hoping you can help me find my husband.”

Miguela indicated the chairs in front of her desk.  She was excited for Todd and also cautious.  Todd had been in possession of his picture from the beginning, but had been unable to remember them or their relationship to him, if any.  “I will certainly try to help but I will need your husband’s name.  I’m assuming his last name is Manning, what is his first name?”

Blair was surprised at the question.  The woman knew Todd and the picture indicated they were obviously friends.  Angry at Todd for confiding in this woman, instead of coming home, made her lash out.“Oh come on, you know it’s Todd Manning.  Did he give you some sob story after he was injured so he could get your help?  Was it your idea he change his name to Drake?”

Miguela was shocked by the sudden anger and the accusation.  Somehow her friendship with Todd was known. Obviously, that friendship was a problem for his wife. She replied in a gentle tone. “I believe there’s been a misunderstanding.  Please be seated.”

Blair sat down abruptly and settled Jack on her lap.  She hadn’t meant to blow up at the doctor, but the surprises she had encountered in Guam had proven more than she could take.  She got her emotions under control and looked across the desk.  “I’m sorry.  I only found out a couple of days ago that my husband was even here in Guam.  You have to understand.  Things between us were bad when he disappeared, and it took me a while to forgive him.  When I did, we had no idea where he was and we’ve been searching for him since.  Upon my arrival here, I was told he was working here at the hospital under the name Todd Drake.  All I could think of was that he was staying away from us on purpose.  Perhaps you can understand my anger at that.  We came looking for him but circumstances have been against me and we keep missing him.  This morning a young patient told us that he was leaving and if he disappears again I don’t know what I’ll do.   I confess I know you are a friend of his.  The private investigator that found him showed me a picture of you two. Please, if you know why he’s been hiding and where he might be going, it would be a great help to me.”

Miguela opened the file on her desk.  It alarmed her to hear Todd was planning on leaving.  She had feared that very thing after their outing the previous day. He had definitely been bothered by something when she left him.  It now appeared he had made a decision. She sighed, and then spoke.  “You’re right about one thing, I am Todd Drake’s friend, but I’m also his doctor.  I have to ask, are you sure Todd Drake is your husband, Todd Manning?”

Blair shifted Jack on her lap and reached into her purse.  Finding her wallet she pulled out a picture and handed it across the desk.

The minute she saw the picture, Miguela knew the woman in front of her was telling the truth. She looked at a picture so similar to the one which Todd carried around that they probably had been taken at the same time. The only difference was that Todd was part of the group. “Thank you.  You understand, as his doctor, it’s my duty to protect him but as his wife, I believe you need to hear what happened to him.  For his sake, you might be just what he needs.”

Blair was puzzled, “What do you mean?  What does he need?”

Miguela clasped her hands in front of her.  Both mother and daughter were now looking anxiously at her.  The baby had fallen asleep in his mother’s arms.  She still didn’t understand why Todd was blocking his memory of them, but something must have occurred to make him do so.  “When Todd was found on the beach, he was believed to be dead.  An alert doctor realized he was still alive, and I was called in to try and save him.  Todd’s injuries were critical. He had severe head trauma and multiple breaks in his arms as well as his back.”

Blair gasped, her hand went to her throat. “Oh God!” Blair had held out hope that Todd’s injuries had not been life-threatening.  She couldn’t have been more wrong. “But that was months ago and he’s healed now. “

Miguela frowned. “You have to understand.  The breaks have all healed but there were several complications.  They are the reason that Todd is still here.  Having him join the staff was a way for him to stay and feel useful while he learned to live with those complications.”  

A chill went down Blair’s back and the uneasy feeling she had felt the night before came back with a vengeance.  “What kind of complications? He’s working with the children.  How did he talk you into letting him work here?  Why is he calling himself Todd Drake?”

“Mrs. Manning, Todd didn’t pick the name, the children gave it to him.”

 

****

Todd was almost giddy as he rolled down the hallway to Dr. Sanchez’s office.  He paused,   running his hand down his leg.  Joe had insisted on massaging both legs and Todd hadn’t resisted.  It had been marvelous just to feel the faint impression of Joe’s hands as they worked on the muscles of Todd’s right leg.  It was like a part of him, that had been missing, just showed up again.  He had even relished the sharp pains similar to pins and needles.  Everything he felt just gave him more hope for a full recovery.

He rolled up to Miguela’s door and heard her talking.  Hoping she was just on the phone, he opened the door. “Doc, you’ll never believe ... “  he rolled to a stop as three pairs of eyes turned toward him.  Todd couldn’t breathe, it was as he feared. They had come looking for him. The little girl squealed “Daddy!”  She ran from the chair and began hugging him just like in his dream.  He found himself hugging her back, but all he could do was stare at her mother and the baby.

Blair was shocked, seeing him finally.  A part of her wanted to do what Starr had done but she sensed something different about Todd and it wasn’t just that he was in the wheelchair.  “Todd?” She began to walk toward him with Jack.

“Stop!” The word came out of his mouth and all he felt was panic.  He glanced at Miguela. “Did you do this?  Did you bring them here?”

Miguela frowned. Todd wasn’t reacting like she had hoped.  By his words, something had changed in the night.   “No Todd, I didn’t.   What is it?”  He obviously recognized them from his picture, but for some reason he didn’t want them there.

Todd gently removed his daughter’s arms from his neck.  He took a deep breath.  He searched her face trying to remember her name but it still wouldn’t come. They were his family but he didn’t remember them and it was killing him.  He reached for her face.  She was real and his daughter, why couldn’t he remember more?

Starr looked at her mom and back at her dad. “Daddy, what’s wrong? Why did you tell Mommy to stop?  We’ve missed you so much.  Mommy‘s not mad at you anymore.  She forgives you for what you did with Jack.  You can come home now and we’ll be a family again.”

Todd winced. Something else he had forgotten.  He had no idea who Jack was, but whatever he had done to the man had caused a rift with his wife.   He turned anguished eyes back to Miguela. “Doc, help!”

Blair had been watching Todd with Starr.  He seemed distant.  When he looked at the doctor and pleaded with her for help it was the final straw. “What the hell is the matter with you, Todd?  Answer Starr.  Didn’t you hear her, I forgive you?  What does Dr. Sanchez need to help with?   Are you too ashamed to just face me and tell me it’s over?  Are you ready to break your daughter’s heart for good?”

Todd had stopped listening when he heard the name Starr.  He was standing outside talking to the woman.  It  was Viki.

Are you serious, you’re going without seeing your wife?  You’re going to leave your wife and your daughter?  You have a child.  Her name is Starr did you know that?’

“Starr?  She named my daughter Starr?

“Yes.”

“You know, I got her a present once.  It was a little star.”

Todd felt the same gut-wrenching feeling he had then. “Oh God. . Starr.” He suddenly  couldn’t breathe.  

Blair was getting angrier.  Todd had stopped listening to her and it felt like Ireland all over again.. “Todd, don’t do that.  You’re not shutting me out this time.  I’m your wife, I need to know if we have anything left to salvage.”

Miguela had let Blair talk to Todd, keeping a careful eye on him.  She noticed a change just after he heard his daughter’s name.  It must have jarred some of his memory, but now she noted his rapid breathing  She knew it was time to intervene.  She went to her patient.  “Todd, look at me.  You’re hyperventilating. I need you to slow your breathing down.  That’s it, breathe in slowly, now let it out slowly.  You’re doing fine.”

“What’s the matter with my daddy?” Starr had been noticing that he was acting strangely but now he looked sick.

MIguela looked over at the little girl.  “Starr, your daddy had been sick and through a lot over these last couple of months.   It’s just a shock for him to see you, that’s all.”  She turned back to Todd, pulled out her stethoscope and listened to his heart.  

Todd grabbed her free hand and squeezed it. “Thanks .” he said faintly.

His breathing and heart rate were returning to normal.  She smiled at him and patted his leg. She felt a slight ripple under her hand and looked Todd straight in the eye. “Todd?”

He smiled weakly, “That’s what I was coming to tell you.”  Still holding her hand, he squeezed it again.  “Doc,”  He looked past her at Starr and her mother. “I don’t know what to do?”

“I’ve got this.  Tell me, did you remember something when you heard your daughter’s name?”

He nodded

“Well, then you’re headed in the right direction on both counts.  Are you willing to sit here with Starr and your son while I explain things to your wife.”

Todd glanced at his daughter and saw how worried she was.  He didn’t want her upset, and he needed time before talking directly to her mother.  He also wanted to hold his son, even if for just a little while.  He nodded again.

“Good.”  She stood back up and faced Blair. “ Mrs. Manning, I know you have a million questions rolling around in your head.  Perhaps Todd could sit here with the children while we talk in private.”  She heard the small gasp that escaped Todd at the mention of his last name and prayed it would give him more comfort at least knowing his full name.

Blair had been watching everything with an eagle eye.  She took a good hard look at Todd as the doctor worked on him.  He wasn’t faking the panic attack.  He had been prone to those ever since Ireland.  The doctor was right she had plenty of questions. Jack began to wake up and stirred in her arms.  She reached down into her purse and grabbed his bottle and a small container of oat rings.  At first she debated having Starr give it to him but saw Todd looking at him.  “Umm. do you want to hold him?  It’s been a long time and I think he’s missed you.  You could feed him.  He always eats when you feed him.”

Todd hesitated for a brief moment then held his arms up. He could see her uncertainty and realized whatever he had done to her in the past, still bothered her.  “It’s alright, I won’t hurt him,” he tried to reassure her.

Blair’s heart lurched. She was puzzled.  “What a strange thing to say.  Of course, you wouldn’t hurt him.  I know that I’ve always known that.”  She set Jack in his lap and handed him the bottle and oat rings.  “I wish I could say the same for me.”  She said quietly to herself as she followed Dr. Sanchez out of the office.

****

Blair lingered at the door watching Todd but he only had eyes for his son.  She was disappointed, she had hoped he might look at her as she left but for some unknown reason, he seemed to be avoiding that.   She turned to face the Doctor.  “Alright Doctor Sanchez, you wanted to get me out of the room.  Is this where you tell me that you and my husband have fallen in love and he thought he was never going to see us again?”

Miguela shook her head. “Mrs. Manning, please.  There is nothing going on between Todd and me.  I’m his doctor.  You saw what just happened.”

“I saw you go to him after he asked for your help.  Patting his leg and whispering to him.  I saw how instead of talking to me he tried to gain attention with a panic attack and you gave it to him.  My husband is very clever when it comes to fooling people.”

Miguela was dumbfounded. Blair Manning was like a lioness protecting her turf and that included telling other lionesses to keep their paws off her king.  She straightened her jacket and met Blair’s eyes directly. “Mrs. Manning, the panic attack was very real.  I’m going to ask you to refrain from making anymore assumptions until you hear me out.  Let’s sit down over here and I’ll finish what I was about to say before he arrived.”  She turned away and moved to a bench near the wall not waiting to see if Blair would follow.

It was all Blair could do to keep her cool when all she wanted to do was pull some of the dark silky hair from the Doctor’s head.  She followed and sat down at the far end of the bench.  “Okay. Talk.”

“As I started to tell you, Todd’s injuries were extensive.  You asked about the name and as I told you right when he arrived, the children gave him his name.  You see, Todd woke up with no memories of his past including his name. It distressed him not to even know his name, so much so, he refused to take any name we wanted to give him until the afternoon he met the children.  He formed an instant rapport with them and when they asked his name, instead of getting upset, he told them he couldn’t remember it.  He had spent the afternoon telling them stories so the children gave him a Japanese name, Kitsune Ryu.  In English that translated to Fox Spirit Dragon or Todd Drake.”  Miguela paused, giving Blair a chance to take in everything she had just said.

Blair was still caught up on the words Todd woke up with no memories of his past including his name.  “You‘re saying he had amnesia.  But he doesn’t now.  I know he recognized me and the children.”

“I’m saying he has amnesia. The skull fracture and aneurysm he suffered, caused damage that affected his memory. He recognized you because he has a picture he carries.  One that was on him when he was found.  He knows your faces, not who you are.  Over the past months, while he’s been recovering, he’s had several flashes of what he considers memories but they make no sense.  He was convinced his daughter was dead.  He told me he was shot and ended up in the ocean off of Ireland.  I can see that his daughter is alive, so I have to ask. Did he really get shot in Ireland?”

Blair felt numb. He didn’t remember them and she felt like screaming.  She wanted to go back into that office and shake him until he came to his senses.  Then she heard the doctor’s comment about Ireland.  “He mentioned Ireland?”  Blair got excited.  It wasn’t hopeless if he remembered Ireland he could remember more.  “Doctor, what happened in Ireland was real, very real.  I’m not sure why he thought our daughter was dead but there was a time when we almost lost her as a baby, perhaps his mind only remembered a little bit of that.  That’s possible isn’t it?”

Miguela nodded, “It’s possible, and given the Ireland incident happened, I would say he might eventually get more memories.  There is something else you should know. Todd is paralyzed.”

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