Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 38

The nurses had come running at the sound of his screams followed shortly by Michael McBain. Blair had gotten out of the way as they tried to ascertain the cause of Samuel's pain. Michael turned to Blair and asked. "Did he say anything before he started screaming."

"He said there was a noise driving him crazy and he tried to cover his ears, then he just started screaming. My God, Michael, what is it? Isn't there something you can do to help?" She reached into her pocket looking for a tissue and felt the jar the implant was in, the jar appeared to be vibrating. "What the..." She brought it out of her pocket and the implant almost seemed alive. "God in heaven" Blair screamed and the jar fell to the ground breaking

Everyone watched fascinated as the implant was vibrating and slowly began to move across the floor towards Samuel's bed. No one moved, all of them frozen in shock, watching the implant when suddenly Samuel's scream rent the air again and Michael realized the closer the implant got to his patient, the more pain was felt by Samuel.

Blair mobilized the minute Todd screamed.  She moved to crush the offending chip but found herself stopped by Michael. "But it's causing him pain, it's still hurting him."

"Blair, wait we don't know what would happen if you crush it. You could kill Samuel." Michael and she watched as it continued to slide closer and Samuel was beginning to arch in agony. One of the nurses grabbed another jar and scooped it up, but it just brought the chip that much closer to Samuel and he started to seize. Michael suddenly realized that the chip was trying to reach Samuel's brain. "Dear God there's still a part inside!" He yelled, " Get that damn thing out of here now!" The nurse gingerly held the jar and swiftly exited the room.

As soon as she left the room Samuel collapsed and was still. Michael spent the next minutes checking his vitals, once again he was out like he had been when Blair had brought him in, but his heart was beating strong. Michael ordered an immediate cat scan and told the nurse to call his team again he was pretty sure he was going to have to go back in. As the nurses prepared Samuel for the trip to get a cat scan, Michael walked over to where Blair was holding her husband's hand.

"I need to examine that implant, Blair. I've ordered another cat scan I think something got left behind. I don't understand how this thing works, but it's still connected to whatever is in Samuel. You go with Samuel for the scan and I'll talk to you in a few minutes." Michael took the implant and headed to his office. When he got there he locked the door and went to the cabinet behind his desk and got his high-powered microscope. He took the Jar and with tweezers extracted the now inert implant. Putting it on a slide he positioned it under the microscope and began to thoroughly examine it.

It was an incredible piece of machinery and it obviously had its own power source but how was it possible that it could still be active to anything inside Samuel. He remembered how difficult it had been to remove and he had attributed it to the scar tissue around it from the initial insertion. Now he wondered if he had been mistaken. It was clearly deteriorating. Could something have broken off and not been noticed? He slowly examined the top and then each side finally turning it over to examine its underbelly. He gasps as he saw the very fine wires like prongs that would fit in some matching plug. That plug and whatever was attached to it still remained in Samuel and was still active. What scared him was that even unplugged the two parts were still sending and receiving. It must have something to do with the implant's internal power source.

He had likened the implant to a spider the first time he had seen it and now he couldn't help picturing a spider atop its egg sack connected by a fine-spun line attached to its underbelly as it sent egg after egg down the line. Could something like that still be embedded in Samuel's brain, a sack of incredible nanobots gathering information and sending that information back up to the mother chip? The technology was light years ahead of anything he had read about in the journals. Whoever had designed this, had connections to something very top secret. This was diabolical. Michael took the implant and returned it to the jar and locked it away in his safe. He needed to go tell Blair his findings and take a look at the scans. He had an idea what he was looking for. Now he just needed to extract it.

Michael joined Blair at the cat scan room and told her his findings. Then he went to check on the scans. He realized why it had been missed as soon as he saw its location. The plug and sack had been placed carefully and deliberately in a fold that separated the occipital lobe from the temporal lobe. The information from those two lobes would have been immensely interesting if someone wanted to find out everything about a particular person. They were the lobes that processed vision and protected the memories and perceptions one experienced daily.

Michael stopped and checked on Samuel as he was wheeled out and then they set off for the operating room. It bothered Michael that Samuel still had shown no signs of rousing. Time was an issue now, the longer Samuel was out, the more damage might be occurring. Blair insisted on being with Samuel once again and the nurse took her for a mask and gown as Michael prepared for surgery, the Heart Surgeon arrived and was told of the development and he too scrubbed in. The lights were turned down except those above the table as Samuel's head was set securely and Michael reopened the site and his equipment was put in place. With little time to waste, he began his surgery.

Michael put in the tiny camera and began to make his way to the site where he had removed the implant he did a quick check to make sure all of the incisions were sealed and could see no sign of infection then he came to the place he thought the plug might be residing. He carefully felt inside the crevasse going slowly so as not to damage any more cells. Then the camera found it. It was astounding. There were multiple wires twisted and bundled running down into the brain and near the top of the crevasse they all merged into a plug with openings that matched the wires Michael had seen on the underside of the implant.

Using the grabbers attached to the camera he tried to grab the wires and give them a pull but suddenly all the instruments went haywire. Michael couldn't stop now he had to rely on the doctors and nurses around him to keep Samuel alive, his job was to get that thing out. Using his laser he carefully followed the wires down till he found the device, it looked like a conglomerate of cells surrounding a central core. He didn't know how the thing worked but his guess was that somehow each cell absorbed information from the neurons in the brain and fed the information back to the chip. Once again he found himself having to pull but this time the device gave way. He quickly removed it and closing the temporary flap over the surgical site, he began to assist them as they worked to bring Samuel back.

Blair couldn't believe it for the second time in two days she watched them trying to restart Todd's heart.

Todd stood there next to Blair watching them work on his body it was kind of like watching from inside his mind but this time things didn't hurt. He looked at Blair and knew she was petrified, and he hated that all he had was the last several months together. Then he began hearing the hateful laugh again, it began to surround him. Why couldn't he even have peace in death? The laughter sounded close so he decided to go find it. He turned to Blair and said "I love You. I always have and always will, in this life and the next. You complete me." he tenderly tried to kiss her cheek and then he went to find the one he hated the most.

He was walking toward the sound and it was getting louder but then he noticed it was getting stifling. He found himself looking at a house he had hoped never to see again. The laughter was coming from inside. Todd enter the house, he suddenly felt icy cold but the air was blistering hot. Todd walked toward the laughter and there Peter sat surrounded by his women.

Peter glanced up at him "Ladies it seems we have a new arrival but this one you don't need to worry about. This is my failure of a son. The mighty Lord Heir. Oh and let's not forget he's a Rapist and a murderer too. I have plans for this one. He and I are going to get reacquainted." He began laughing and then his ladies joined in and soon the laughter was deafening.

The laughter beat down at him and suddenly Todd found himself struggling on the floor trapped once again by Peter, The man looking down laughing as he finished zipping up his pants and those words "This is all you're good for, you're a disgrace as a son, now you know your real place."

Todd knew this was hell but his father was wrong. The cold around him expanded beating back the heat and pushing his father away. He stood and faced the man, Peter seemed smaller almost insignificant. "You're wrong. It's you who deserves this place. You're nothing but a small minded pervert who delighted in hurting everyone around you. You took your anger out on me and tortured me because you could, I was a helpless child. In doing so, you made me stronger than you. I'm not worthless I have a family and friends something you never had. Look at you. You're nothing but a shriveled wasted excuse of a man who existed on the pain of others. This is your hell. Wallow in it." As he spoke, Peter shrunk and became almost unrecognizable as his true deformity of mind showed him the man he really was. Todd felt the pull in his heart and he knew the love of his life was calling him home. He turned and walked away going back where he truly belonged.

Blair watched as the time kept slipping by. They had worked for so long and still had gotten no response from Todd. She saw Michael looking at her and she knew what he was going to say. She rushed to Todd's side, the nurses falling back looking at her sadly. NO! She couldn't lose him , not like this. Life couldn't be that cruel.

Michael came up beside her as Blair hugged her husband. "Blair, I'm sorry there's nothing else we can do. This last attack was too much for him," he ordered the team to back off and give Blair her few moments, then they would do the closing of the surgery. He looked at the offending piece of implant that had taken a man's life. In more ways than one. If the story, he had heard from his brother that morning, was true. Samuel had lost eight years because of that implant and had just begun to get his life back. He glanced sadly at Blair.

Blair clung to Todd weeping. "It's OK. I know you tried, you just couldn't take any more. I understand, no one has suffered or taken as much as you have in the last few months. You rest now. I'll make sure Carlo and Ivan are punished. When you see our son, you tell him mommy loved him and when the time is right we'll all be together again." her tears were flowing down her cheeks as she smoothed his hair, "I don't want you to worry about me. I'm going to be alright. I came alive again when I found you in Paris. You did that. You opened yourself up to me, finally letting me in. All those years apart and they disappeared with one kiss. I think that morning in the car when you woke me and I looked into your eyes, I saw the man who told me he loved me. I remembered how hard it was for you to trust those feelings but you trusted me, and even though I broke your trust, you never stopped loving me."

Images of the terrible fight after he found out about her initial lie and how hurt he had been. The hateful words that had been flung back and forth at one another and had almost ended in his attack on her. Somehow they had gotten past that and found their way back to each other. There had been so many times when they had fought and made up and then she had done the most hurtful thing she could do. She had sent him away for the sake of the children. Blair was sobbing uncontrollably. If she had never sent him away they wouldn't have lost those eight years. "I'm the reason you got caught in Mitch's web.  Please forgive me. I won't let you be forgotten again. When I'm finished everyone will know the truth about you, the real truth. I promise you, my love. I want them to know about the man who loved his family more than life itself." She stifled her tears and took a deep breath and leaned in to kiss her husband goodbye. His lips felt so cold but she lovingly caressed them with her own. She recalled their first kiss. He had started then stopped afraid to go that step with her, but she had moved ahead and kissed him. That had been all that was necessary to ignite the passion between them. Todd had responded that night with an intensity that had left her breathless. She wanted just one more kiss like that and tasted her tears as she kissed him when she felt pressure being returned. My god, she must be imagining it, she was sure he was kissing her back. She paused and looked up into the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Two gorgeous hazel eyes were looking at her and her heart expanded two-fold. She looked lovingly into his eyes and returned to smothering him in kisses laughing and crying at the same time. TODD WAS HOME.

Michael and the Heart Surgeon had been quietly talking in the corner about the procedures used during surgery, documenting everything. They hadn't officially called the time of death because of Blair, even though Michael had noted it on the chart. They were startled when Blair started laughing and crying at the same time and then they heard the monitors. Michael and the surgeon rushed to Blair's side, surprised to find their patient staring up at them.

Blair gave Todd one final kiss and moved out of the doctors' way and Todd's eyes followed her. The Doctors nodded to each other and as the heart doctor checked out Todd's vital stats the surgery team moved back into place to complete the surgery that had been interrupted by Samuel's death. Michael worked quickly to close the site properly to ensure that no contamination had entered the site. He used only a local anesthesia, not wanting to take the chance of further problems that general anesthesia might generate. Samuel seemed in a semi-conscious state and Michael was concerned about how much more damage had been sustained from the lack of oxygen.

Michael finished the surgery and then he picked up the second implant and deposited it in a jar. He touched Samuel's shoulder and Samuel's eyes turned in his direction. "Samuel, you're in surgery because there was still a piece of the implant in you and it triggered your pain, it's out now. I don't want you to worry about it and don't try and talk. You need to take it easy now. You were clinically dead for a number of minutes and we'll need to check you out after you've had a chance to recuperate to see if there are any lasting problems from that. You rest now."

Michael walked over to Blair and talked with her for a short time then he took the device and took it to his office to put it next to its other half. He couldn't believe what he saw next the two jars moved toward each other till the jars were touching and then the implant literally seemed to crawl up the side of the jar and the plug in the other jar moved attempting to attach itself once again to the underside of the main implant. It was downright creepy. He locked the safe. He knew he was going to have to give the implants to Blair for their case but he felt disgusted that she would even have to touch the items that had almost killed her husband. He made the decision to find a container for her to transport them in so she wouldn't have to look at them.

Blair sat next to Todd afraid to take her eyes off him. She couldn't believe he was still with her. When she had looked into his eyes the world stopped. Time ceased and she was on the bed once again looking up into his face wishing that everything that had happened before and everything to come would stop and they would simply be flying high where no one could reach them. It had been the moment of moments for them. Today it had all come flooding back. She reached up and caressed his hair enjoying the feel of it between her fingers. Then she found those same fingers tracing the scars on the side of his face. Mitch had almost taken Todd's eye with his cruelty. Now Carlo and Ivan had almost taken Todd's life because of money. She'd had enough. It was time to get even and she was going to do anything she could to see that Todd got his revenge.

Todd began to stir and moan a little bit. Blair had been told to alert the nurse as soon as Samuel showed any sign of coming around so she pushed the button and the nurse came running. Blair had gotten up and was trying to get Todd to awaken but he just seemed locked in one of his many nightmares again. She hated feeling so helpless. "Samuel you can wake up now, you're safe. It's me, Blair. You don't need to hide any longer. We've got our proof.   Wake up so you can go get Carlo." It was no use, neither the nurse nor she could get him to wake up. They would just have to wait till the dream ran its course.

Todd found himself going down that corridor again. Like all the other times before he was encased in bandages. But strangely he felt pretty alert. Something had changed. He realized he could make out more things in the hallway. The artwork on the wall hadn't been in any previous dreams. He recognized it. It was "The Scream" how apropos. Only Kipling would get a perverse pleasure out of hanging something like that in his hall. They continued just a little farther and the Door to Kipling's lab appeared. He was wheeled in and Kipling was once again waiting for him.

Todd felt a shiver of fear pulse through him as he knew what was going to happen next. Once again the doctor asked about Peter and once again Todd convulsed in pain but then he was beside himself in the dream watching, but no longer participating. He watched as Kipling took that awful pleasure in watching him writhe in the chair. He looked around and saw the machinery attached to his head and then the wires attached and being fed into something grotesque in shape, it almost looked real. It had ceased to be a nightmare and he realized it was a memory.

The memory faded and he felt the air blowing over him, he could feel the sheets that he lay on. He was back in the hospital, the image of his father Peter shriveling before his eyes a distant memory. He could hear movement beside him and knew someone was standing near. Slowly he opened his eyes wondering if the latest venture into his brain had made him lose all sight and was surprised that it was just the opposite. He could actually see, well somewhat. Everything was blurry and out of focused, but he had color and more shape than before. He gingerly turned his head to the side of the bed he had heard movement coming from and he made out a shape, one he knew very well. She was the reason he was here.  He tried to speak but at first nothing came out.  He was so dry, he tried again. Whispering he called to his wife. "Blair".

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Who's the Real Todd? Chapter 37

Todd looked at his brothers and Ms. Perkins and was relieved to see they were none the worse for the ordeal they had all gone through. "Thank God you're all here. Everybody okay."

"If you call being blind okay, then yeah we're okay" griped Pete.

He looked at his brother and shrugged "Yeah but we're alive. I think I'll take that, and whether you, believe it or not, I'm glad I didn't lose you guys. Another thing at least we can see in here. Now I need each of you to take a turn briefly and see what you see out of my eyes. I'm hoping one of you might be able to make out more than I can, every little difference could help. Pete, you're so anxious to do something, you take first look."

Pete looked at Todd surprised then jumped to his feet and disappeared. He regretted it the minute he did. "Fuck! That no good son of a bitch..he could've warned me. " He opened his eyes and saw nothing. He looked around and saw a little light but nothing that would help tell what he was looking at. "Shit. At least inside I don't feel helpless," he went back to Samuel's room  "No good, For me everything was gray. Thanks a lot for warning me about the head, Todd."

"Sorry Pete, Okay who’s next." Ms. Perkins stood up, but Todd stopped her. "No, you should stay here.  Pete's right the headache is brutal. After I've had a chance to recuperate you can take a look. Rodd, do you think you can handle a headache for a few moments?

"Yes, I'ma sure I can." Rodd popped out and like Pete immediately hated it. "My poor a head this is no good," he slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. He found he could make out certain shapes especially when a young nurse walked by "Cara Mia" he whispered. In his head, he heard "Rodd shut up." He immediately shut his eyes and retreated back to Samuel's room. "I'ma sorry but she had quite a figure."

Todd looked at him in surprise "You mean you could actually make out a figure?"

"Si.  She was gray, but ooh the shape mmmwwwah magnificent." said Rodd'

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Rodd can make out shapes. That's a start. Alright,Tom do you want to try? You don't have to stay long. The head really hurts so you don't have to if you don't want to." said Todd looking at young Tom.

"Todd I want to do this. I'm not that young. I can take a little pain." Tom said looking hurt.

Todd looked at Tom and said "I know you can, but that doesn't mean I want you to feel it. If you're sure, I really do need your input. Tom, if Blair is there you can talk to her but if the Doctor is there come back and tell me."

Tom nodded and found himself lying down "Owww, boy that hurts. Sheesh, this is the pits." He opened his eyes and looked around the room, careful to move his head slowly. "I don't know Todd, it's kinda bright. I see some blobs, different colors. Some gray, some blue and some blob that's red." he became quiet when he realized someone was walking toward him. "Hello who's there?" he asked. Whoever it was, was wearing yellow.

Blair came over to Todd when she saw his eyes opened and realized that he had seen her coming. Michael was coming shortly, could Todd's sight be coming back. "Todd, it's Blair, can you see me?"

"Hi Blair, no it's me, Tom, I'm here helping Todd. I can't see you, but I can tell you're wearing something yellow.  Right?" Tom asked to get confirmation.

Blair was disappointed that it wasn't quite as she had hoped, but she said encouragingly "That's right Tom I have on a yellow blouse. Is Todd around? Dr. McBain will be here shortly."

"Oh Sure, I'll tell him, don't worry he'll be right back. You doin' alright Blair?" Tom asked before leaving

Blair smiled at him. Bless Tom, he always thought of everyone. "Yes Tom, I'm doing fine. I'm just worried about you guys."

"Hey, don't worry about us, we'll get this figured out. You wait and see. Okay, I'm going to go now, and, by the way, he won't say anything but his head is hurting a lot." He looked at her blob and felt her give him a kiss. "Gee thanks, bye now."

Blair watched his eyes close and waited for her husband to return. Michael walked in and came over to take a look at his patient. "I hear he's awake. How's he doing"

From the bed Todd spoke, "Well, he's got a splitting headache for one. How long before it goes away Doc?" he turn his head in the direction of Michael's voice.

"I just have a few questions I need to be answered. Do you want to help me out? said Michael "Let's start with, tell me your Name."

For one quick second Todd almost answered Todd Manning but remembered and said "Samuel Toddman" he was grateful he hadn't lost his memory again and that the surgery hadn't wiped out his alters.

"Just a few more questions Samuel. What year is it?" Michael asked.

"It's 2011 in July " replied Todd

"What do you do for a living?" he asked next.

Todd answered. "I'm an artist." Todd hoped Michael didn't have too many more questions his head was pounding.

Michael had gotten out his flashlight and was flashing it in front of Todd's eyes but realized although the pupils were reacting, Todd was not. "One last question. What color is my shirt?"

Todd's head came up and he struggled to see color, but all he saw was gray. "Unfair Doc. You should give a guy some warning when you're going to spring a trick question on him. I'll tell you what I see. There's a gray blob standing in front of me surrounded by light gray. That's it and I can see the blob move. Is it hopeless or too soon to tell?"

Michael put the light away and said. " It's hard to say, Samuel.  There is good news, it appears your memory wasn't affected.   Unfortunately, two of the wires that were removed were in the occipital lobe of your brain and that lobe tells your brain what you see. There was some damage and there is probably some swelling of the tissue around the area where the wires were removed. As everything isn't totally black you might regain some of your vision back after everything heals, for now, it's a waiting game. I'm putting you on some medication that should help bring the swelling down and with luck maybe you'll get some improvement."

Michael patted Todd's shoulder. "Just hang in there, that last wire I took out almost killed you. I also noticed the chip was beginning to corrode and that could have had serious side effects if it had remained in you much longer. All in all, you are incredibly lucky to have found out it was there. We're getting you a room ready and since I know you're on your honeymoon I've arranged for your wife to stay with you. We're going to be monitoring you for at least 48 hrs I want to make sure you have no complications from the surgery. Anything else I can answer Samuel?" asked Michael.

Todd reached out and Blair took his hand and he drew her closer to him. "No, I guess you've answered everything you can. By the way Thank You, you saved my life and I'm grateful.  Dr. Wolek was right. You were the best man for the job."

Todd and Blair talked about everything Michael had said and then Blair let Todd rest, so she could contact Starr and Vicki and tell them what had happened.

Blair wasn't sure how she was going to tell Starr about the surgery. They hadn't even been able to warn her because it had all happened so fast. Well, it was done now so she would just have to get on with it and let Starr know the results. She waited as Starr's phone rang. then Starr picked up. "Starr, Hi hon. The honeymoon has been cut short, but we're not coming home right away."

At the other end of the call, Starr heard something in her mother's voice that scared her."Mom, talk to me, what happened to D.."she stopped herself she didn't know if someone might be monitoring her calls, after everything that had happened recently she was being extra careful. "What happened to Samuel?"

Blair knew she was going to have to handle this carefully "Starr, Samuel had a mishap that required immediate surgery and there was no way to contact you at the time. It was touch and go for a while. He made it through the surgery but not unscathed. Samuel has lost his vision for now and we don't know if it's permanent or temporary. We will be staying here a couple more days because the Doctors want to make sure there are no more complications."

"Are you saying he's blind?  Mom, Samuel lives for his art. He must be devastated. Hope and I can catch the next plane if you want company." Starr was numb. Her dad had lost his vision, what had happened? She knew her mom was being vague because they were both worried about Carlo Hesser listening in. She wanted to be there for her father. Even as she suggested the flight she knew her Mom was going to say no. She couldn't believe it, once again he was facing a challenge and this time she just wanted to cry. Her dad had been through enough, it wasn't fair. When was God going to give him a break? They had been so happy a couple of days ago at their wedding. He had been charming and engaging with all the people at the wedding, even Aunt Dorian hadn't managed to take away his happiness that night and by the time the evening was over, she had felt like her dad had felt a part, a true part, of the family surrounding him. For the first time standing in that beautiful home he had built for her mom, her father had finally joined his family. He was no longer just outside looking in.  Before she could say anything else her mom spoke again.

Blair heard the concern in her daughter's voice and knew Starr wanted to add her support to her father during this time. But she knew Todd wouldn't want all the fuss. "Starr I need you to just stay home. Samuel is taking this setback quite well actually. He wouldn't want you to fret. He cares deeply for you and he felt you should know about what happened. We're going to be fine and you just need to keep the faith that this is a temporary problem, that's what Samuel is doing and if he can do that, then so can we. I'll let you know when we'll be coming home. Let your brother and everyone there know what has happened, will you? I love you, so does Samuel. Bye for now." Blair hung up.

She prepared to call Vicki and decided to reach her at the Banner. She knew Carlo might have bugged Vicki's house but she didn't think he would bother with the Banner offices. He would figure that Todd would be careful to only try reaching Vicki at home. She made the call and waited, hoping Vicki was in the office. Vicki picked up and Blair sighed in relief. "Vicki this is Blair, it's over. He's alive... Oh my God, Vicki it was horrific. The damn thing triggered and Michael had to do the surgery early. We've got the item but there was a cost."

Vicki sat at her desk stunned. When she first heard Blair's voice she had feared the worse. At Blair's next words she had started breathing again. Her brother was alive. Then she heard the rest. "Blair slow down. First, he's okay that's the main thing. Are his memories intact? I know he was so afraid of losing them? Now tell me exactly what happened." She listened as Blair told of the drive back to the bungalow and how Todd had fallen asleep only to scream and pass out. She then told Vicki how the surgery went and how they had almost lost him when another heart attack had been triggered. Vicki listened as Blair described what happened and felt Blair's fear when she heard about the attack. Then Blair told her about the cost. Vicki's heart wrenched as she heard her brother was blind. It was no wonder he always felt cursed. She had never seen a man more plagued than her brother. He couldn't seem to escape his past and he always felt he deserved everything that came at him because of his sins. She had tried for years to tell him there was no such thing as a curse. Now she might have to change her mind about that. She tried to sound positive as she said "Blair the main thing is he's alive. He's a fighter. I have every reason to believe he'll weather this too. When do you think you'll be home?"

"The doctors want to make sure there are no further complications with the surgery so he'll be under close watch for the next 48 hrs but we hope to be home by weeks end. Vicki, you need to warn Tea. If Walker has an implant like Todd's it could be deteriorating, Michael said Todd's was and if it had been left alone it would have killed him for sure. I've got to go, Todd's waking up. I'll let you know when we're headed home." Blair got off as she noticed Todd stirring.

"Hey, sleepy head how are you feeling?" She said.

Todd turned his head where her voice came from and knew how much he missed his sight at that moment. He closed his eyes because he could see her in his mind, even as he was imagining her, he felt her beautiful lips on his. "Mmm.  Hello Mrs. Toddman did you get any sleep? Or have you been sitting by my bed all this time?"

Blair had seen him close his eyes and had known he couldn't see her still. She had hoped after he had slept a little bit that maybe he would find some improvement. Unfortunately, it hadn't happened. "I got some sleep but I've been on the phone with Starr and Vicki letting them know what happened."

Todd's eyes opened quickly even if he didn't focus. "You didn't tell Starr about the chip, did you? She doesn't need to know what those bastards did. Did you tell her about the eyes?" Damn he thought, he already knew the answer to that question. Blair had told both Vicki and Starr about his condition. "You did. Didn't you." Blair's silence said it all. "Great, now I'll have to deal with their pity. Maybe it's a good thing I won't be able to see their faces." he knew he sounded a little bitter. But he hated pity. from anyone.

Blair hadn't meant to upset him but it had happened anyway. She should have realized he was still raw about the condition and waited to tell until he was ready, but it was too late to take it back. Not only that but Starr would have told everyone else at home besides. She recalled his retreat when he had seen the pity in her eyes. He was right at least he wouldn't see it. "Todd forgive me. I was so relieved you were alive and wanted them to know. I didn't think."

Todd heard the sorrow and the apology in her tone. He knew how scared she had been when he had almost died. He still recalled that moment he had been standing, watching them working on his body, and looking at Blair across the room frantic. He had felt himself slipping away until Blair had screamed his name. In that instant, their bond had captured him and brought him back to her. He couldn't leave her, he loved her.

He reached out for her and caught her arm and moved his hand down to her hand. Bringing it to his lips he kissed it and said. "I'm sorry. You know how I get, just ignore me. I've got something to tell you. I forgot to tell you after Michael left. It's about the guys. You know you talked to Tom and he told you he can make out colors, well Rodd can make out shapes which means, with the help of the guys, I might not be so in the dark. Samuel has yet to take his turn out here to see if he can see any better than the rest of us. So hang on, I want him to try now." Todd went looking for Samuel and found him standing ready. "Okay, Samuel go for it."

Samuel found himself looking up at Blair, at least he was pretty sure it was Blair he could make out a little bit of her shape and he was also able to discern the colors she was wearing but the minute she moved she blurred. So for him, the movement was a problem. As long as what he looked at was standing still, he had an idea what he was looking at. He decided to test his theory by asking Blair to do a few things. "Blair You're beautiful even if you're out of focus but I need you to move away from the bed."

Blair thought that was a strange request but she did as Samuel had asked.

He was right. As soon as she moved she reminded him of the zig-zag lines of color when your TV screen was on the fritz. " Okay hold it. Blair, move to the container of hazardous material for me." Samuel tried to focus on the red object he could barely make out. As he looked at it a blur of color moved toward it. "Okay, stop don't move again. " Samuel had to close his eyes he was feeling ill.

Blair moved back to Samuel and began to worry he wasn't looking very good. "Samuel are you all right?"

Samuel tried to open his eyes but his stomach lurched. "No! I'm going to be sick" He couldn't get the image of those zig zag colors out of his head "God " he reached for his head it felt like it wanted to explode, then suddenly it just stopped and everything went black. Samuel lay there taking great gasps of air and trying to will his stomach to stop churning. With his eyes closed, he said 'Todd, you need to take over. If I open my eyes I think it'll start all over again.'

Todd understood. It had been as if the colors were in 3D coming at him and there was no place to go. It felt like his brain was on overload. and then like a switch it had stopped. Almost like it had been absorbed by something. Todd took over but immediately was sorry that he did. Now he felt the pounding head and the churning stomach and it was too much. Before he could try and fight it he turned and got sick.

Blair had been ready and as soon as his stomach stopped heaving she had used a cool cloth to wipe his brow. It had been dry heaves because he hadn't had anything to eat or drink in a while but it still had been terrible. He was positively drained as he leaned back on his pillow. The cool cloth was exactly what he needed. "Well that was a disaster." he carefully opened his eyes to the gray Blob that was Blair. At least nothing seemed to set his stomach off anymore.

"It was weird. As long as you were standing still, Samuel had a sense of shape and color but when you moved it was as if the Television went haywire. Then it was like that was all we could see those jagged colored lines. We couldn't block them out, it was as if they had a mind of their own and they were aiming straight at me. I swear I felt like something was thirsting for those images and then it just swallowed them. You're stuck with me Blair for the time being. I'm not sure what's going on, but I don't think I could go through that a second time."

"Todd, I think we should tell Michael. I was really worried when Samuel reached for your head, you were in a lot of pain, I don't think it should be that bad. There might be something wrong." she started to move away but his hand grabbed her.

He couldn't believe he had caught her. He had seen the blob seem to turn and had guessed she was getting ready to walk away. "Don't go. Not yet, stay here and talk to me. What time of day is it? I can't tell. I've lost track of time, I don't even know if this is the same day we were just horseback riding or another day. Tell me what happened Blair."

Blair had been surprised he had been able to stop her, but she heard the plea in his voice to not be alone. "I'm not going anywhere I was going to reach for the call button. You need to relax you just got sick and I'm concerned. We went horseback riding yesterday and when we were on our way back to the bungalow you dozed off in the car and the chip triggered. You screamed and blacked out and I brought you here. Don't you remember?

Todd frowned. The more he thought about his last hours yesterday, the fuzzier everything got. Maybe it was because of the surgery. He would have to ask Michael. Ever since Samuel had that weird visual experience, Todd had been hearing a persistent high pitched sound that seemed to be coming from right behind his bad ear. It was not far from the site of the surgery. Whatever it was, it was beginning to drive him crazy. " I don't know.  It's all fuzzy and there's this noise that's driving me insane, you better get Michael. I'm not sure I can stand much more of this." Todd covered his ears but nothing helped, the noise was inside and the pain was building. Blair was pushing the call button as Todd began screaming.

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Memories Unlocked #20

# 20

As Blair pushed him back towards the hospital, he look over his shoulder at her.  “We have a slight problem with me going home with you.”

“Todd, don’t start this again.  We’re going home and that’s all there is to it.”

“No, you have me all wrong.  I’m willing to go but I have no papers.  I was getting ready to go to the base this morning.  Lucy’s father offered me a ride on one of the army transport planes if I should ever want to leave.”

“Who’s Lucy?”

Todd thought back to the previous night.  His last image of his little friend was of her being held by her mother. It took him a moment to answer. He owed so much to the children and especially to Blanca and Lucy after all the times they had come and chatted and kept him occupied as he recovered.  When he told them he was leaving he had broken their little hearts.  Then Lucy had passed away.  It had been another blow to both himself and the children. “ Lucy is…” his voice caught. “was one of the children I worked with on the ward.”

Blair stopped pushing the chair. She realized who he was talking about as she recalled the earlier conversation with the young girl on the ward.  The only other time, he had been so choked up had been when he let his feelings show when Starr was so sick.  She reached down and laid a hand on his shoulder.  “Todd, I’m sorry.”

Todd blinked away his tears and rolled the chair out from under her hands.  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I hurt those kids last night and abandoned them because I was more concerned about me than them.  I’m nothing but a bastard.  Everything I’ve managed to remember so far tells me I’m not worth shit.”  He swung back around to face her.  “You say you love me no matter what I’ve done.   How can you do that?  I’ve hurt you, I gave your son away.  I know I’m a rapist and that I’ve spent time in jail.  Why on earth would you even want me around those two beautiful children in there?"

Blair sat down on a bench close to Todd.“You think you’re horrible because you’ve had some memories return but you’re not seeing or remembering all that you’ve done, just some bad stuff.  Your concern for the children on that ward is just one of the reasons I love you.  You’ve helped a number of children because they needed it and because you could.  You didn’t ask for recognition.” She paused as she remembered the one time he tried to make himself out a hero. “Well maybe one time you took credit. But that was it.  Todd, you always manage to form bonds with children and I’m guessing it has to do with something in your past.  Whatever happened then, gave you an affinity with children.  Don’t berate yourself over what happened last night.  Tell me, could you have prevented that tragedy?”

Sadly, Todd knew she was right.  There was nothing he could have done to prevent Lucy from dying.  He shook his head no. “You’re right, I couldn’t stop that, but when it happened I still decided to leave even though the rest of the kids needed me.”

“Oh, so you made the decision because you didn’t want the kids bothering you anymore and it was too much trouble to pretend to care about them.  Is that it?” Blair knew what she said was harsh but she knew Todd.  He always thought the worst of himself. As expected, she got the response she needed from him.

“God no!  I love those kids. I was trying to leave so I wouldn’t hurt them.  The more I’ve remembered the more I realized I shouldn’t be around them.  I felt they would be better off without me and the sooner I broke ties with them the better.” His voice cracked.  “I let them down.” his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Blair’s heart was filled with such love for Todd at that moment and all she wanted to do was hold him. “Did you?  I don’t think so.  I met a little girl this morning.  She told me all about how you comforted her last night after her best friend died.  I know it’s the truth because I saw you last night out on the deck with her.  I could tell you were close even though I couldn’t hear what you were saying to her.  A man who was only thinking of himself would have said his goodbyes and just left.  You didn’t, you still hung around longer because the kids needed you.  That’s the man I know who would do anything for his children because he loves them with all his heart.”  She got up and gave him a little hug, then started pushing him again. “Now that that’s settled, let’s get back to the problem of getting you home.  It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t have your passport or ID. That is going to slow things up.  It means the kids and I will just have to stay here until we get that taken care of.  Beware, Starr is probably going to try to monopolize your time because she’s missed you so much.  It will also give us a chance to get reacquainted.”

“Blair,”

Todd spoke so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.  “Yes, Todd?”

“I’m paralyzed.”

“I know… Oh!” Blair felt herself blushing from her head to her toes, “I…” she didn’t know what to say.  She had been thinking of getting him into bed and it had never entered her mind what his being paralyzed might mean to that. Refusing to let him think it mattered to her about his disability she leaned down and whispered in his ear.  “Don’t worry, I sure I can find many different ways to work around that problem and still give us both some pleasure.” To show her meaning, she nibbled his earlobe briefly, blew in his ear, and watched as he responded to the sensations.   She laughed lightly and pushed him through the door where Dr. Sanchez and the children were waiting.

****

Sam, James, and Heddy watched all the departing flights for the day and never saw any sign of Todd.  

“Well, Sam, what do you want to do?”  James looked over to where Heddy had recently fallen asleep in a chair.  “We really should get her back to the hotel and regroup.”

“You’re right, any and all flights that were headed to the States have left.” Sam walked over and woke Heddy.  “Come on Heddy, we’re going back to the hotel.  We should have done that before coming here.  Jetlag has caught up with you.”

Heddy pushed herself out of the chair.  “Ya, I guess you are right, but I did want to help Mrs. Manning.  Poor little Starr, she so misses her papa.”

“We know one thing Heddy,  Mr. Manning didn’t get on any flights today.  He’s still here in Guam, so we will find him.”

Sam called Blair as soon as they got into the taxi to give her an update about the airport. Blair had just finished feeding Jack when her phone went off. “Hello.”  

“Blair, he never got on a plane.  Did you have any luck with Dr. Sanchez?”

“Oh Sam,. I’m sorry.  We found him here after all.  Look, there’s a lot to explain.  I was wondering if you could bring Heddy and pick up Jack.  He needs a nap and I’m sure Heddy does too.  There’s no way I’m leaving right now and Starr is too stubborn to go back and lay down, now that we’ve found her daddy.”

Sam looked over at Sawyer and covered the phone. She mouthed “They found him” and then returned to answer Blair.  “Sure Blair we were headed back to the hotel but we’ll swing by the hospital first.  Do you need anything else?”

“No Sam.  You did your job and for that I’m so grateful.  I think we’re going to be here for a couple more weeks.  You’ve earned yourself some free time.  Maybe you would like to invite Mr. Sawyer to join you on a tropical vacation.  All expenses on me of course, but I would like to hire Mr. Sawyer and his plane in two weeks for a ride home.”

“That’s very generous Blair.  I think James would be delighted to give you a ride home in a couple of weeks.  We’re pulling up to the hospital right now.  We’ll join you shortly.”  

“What’s that about a ride home in two weeks,” asked Sawyer?  

“James, they found Todd. Blair said they needed to stay here for a couple of weeks.  She gave me some time off and an all expense trip for the next two weeks on her.  What do you say? Care to join me?”

“Baby, I’m all yours and I have no problem giving them a ride home.  I’m just your friendly taxi service as long as she’s footing the bill.  So I’m guessing we were wrong about the doctor?”

“I guess, she just said there was a lot to explain.  Heddy, you stay here and I’ll go get Jack.”  Heddy nodded, grateful she wouldn’t have to get out.  Sam leaned over and gave James a light kiss and hopped out of the taxi.  She went through the entrance to find Blair headed for her.  She was a little disappointed not to see Todd, but Blair appeared in a good mood so the reunion must have gone okay.  Sam couldn’t help herself.  She needed to know what was going on. “I’ll take him Blair, Heddy is really tired so I told her to stay in the taxi.  Are you okay?  I’m guessing he had an explanation for you.  Do you believe it?”

Blair nodded.  She handed Jack to Sam.  “Sam, we couldn’t have been more wrong.  Dr. Sanchez is Todd’s doctor.  She saved his life.”

Just then, Dr. Sanchez came around the corner from her office pushing Todd.  Starr was sitting on her father’s lap and chatting away.  Todd was listening intently and then he saw Sam.

“You,  I know you.  You were here a couple of days ago.  I saw you take a picture of me.  Why and who are you?”  

Blair had felt a twinge of jealousy when Todd said he knew Sam, but after hearing the rest, her fears calmed.  He didn’t really remember Sam either. “Todd, this is Sam Vance.  She’s the private detective I hired to find you.”

Taken aback by the fact that Todd didn’t know her, Sam wasn’t sure what to say.

Todd nodded at her.  “I guess  I should thank you then.  Blair, Dr. Sanchez wants to run a few more tests. There isn’t any reason for you to stick around.  Why don’t you and Starr go back to the hotel?  I promise I won’t take off on the army transport.”

Miguela tapped his shoulder.  “That’s for sure.  An army transport isn’t equipped to handle your situation.  I’m glad I heard that.  You could have done more damage if you had taken that flight.  Todd, I’m sorry you felt the need to leave like a thief in the night.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Doc.  I just had this overwhelming urge to leave before any of you got hurt by me.  Which reminds me.  There’s something I need to do and I need to do it alone.”

“Todd, I’m not going any…” Blair paused as she saw the determined look in his eyes.  He had given in as much as he was willing for the day.  Once Todd made up his mind about something nothing could persuade him from it.  She had pushed as far as he would let her. She was still feeling her way with this Todd and it was obvious he was going to be a challenge.  “Okay Todd, we’ll go.  Come along Starr.”

Starr turned in her father’s arms and wrapped her small arms around his neck squeezing.  “No, I want Daddy to come with us.  Mommy, you said we were taking Daddy home.”

“We are, Starr, but Daddy needs to spend a little more time here.  We’re not leaving until he’s ready to go and you can come see him tomorrow.”

“No!” She clung to her father. “Daddy, you said you’d never leave and yet you did.  I’m afraid you’ll leave again.”

“Starr, I’ll be here when you come tomorrow. I promise. I won’t break this one. Okay?”

He unwrapped her arms from his

Reluctantly, Starr let her mom take her hand and lead her out of the hospital but she watched her dad all the way as if she expected him to disappear again.

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