Chasing the Monsters: 11

"Hey, you're home?"  Blair said, as Jack came through the glass panes into her bedroom.   She was just rocking Jewel to sleep after a late-day feeding.

"What a day," he said.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's fine.  It was just sort of long.  It was like, well, think I'm sick of High School or something."

"Yeah, I guess it's wearing thin."

"That's okay, though, I can take it."

"I'm sure you can.  About tomorrow, your father is not doing this to hurt you.  He wants you to earn what you get." 

"What, like he did?" he said with a biting edge.

"Jack!  That was not called for.  Your father . . ."

"Got the whole thing handed to him.  Hard cash.  He didn't work his way up, but that's what I'll be doing just because I don't want college."

Blair's eyes were flaming, and Jack looked as if he had just discovered a huge mistake he had made.  She pointed her finger toward him and said, "First off, don't you ever say that.  Your father had nothing.  He was treated like the scum of the earth and had to fight, tooth and nail, to even stay as a custodian at Llanview Hospital.  He had no one on this planet, except maybe one friend in the world.  He may not have worked his way up financially, but he did as a human being, and that was one of the most difficult journeys I've ever seen him endure.  And second, this is what YOU wanted.  You said so."

Jack rethought his stance and said, "I take it back, okay?  I'm just pissed off."

She softened a little.  "Why, because it will be hard and take time?  It is hard.  It is.  But you'll appreciate it when you figure out why he did it and what he wanted you to learn.  He had almost nobody in this town.  He was totally alone.  And when he got the money, he took a newspaper that was all-but dead and turned it into a major business.  He worked his way up in more ways than one.  Anyone can take an inheritance and spend it.  Your father increased it.  That took work.  He wants you to experience that.  It's valuable."

Jack looked contrite, and his cheeks were flushed.  He sat on the couch in the sitting area, and he said, "Mom?"

She was putting Jewel in the bassinette.  "What, Jack?"

"Mom, who was the friend?  The one that stood by Dad."

She smiled and then turned to her son.  "The friend was me."

"You?"  Then he shrugged, "I kind of thought so."

"Yes.  I believed in your father.  I am not even sure why.  But I did, and no one else did.  Of course, no one in this town gave me the time of day either.  I wasn't perfect.  But, I saw something in him," she became slightly dreamy, "I don't know what it was, but, later I figured out that I loved him.  As a person, you know, really loved him."

Jack swallowed and said, "Can you tell me more, Mom?  I . . . like hearing this.  It fills things in."

"I can, sure."  She went and sat by her son.  "Your father, he was accused of something he didn't do.  No one believed him.  People at his job started a petition to get him fired and put back in jail.  But I knew he was innocent.  I just knew.  Something had changed him while he was in prison.  He'd made an active choice to be someone else.  So, I stuck by him, and the rest is history, I guess."  

"God.  That's like . . . some kind of epic freaking love story."

She smiled at her son and covered his hand.  "There's a lot more, and someday, we can talk about it.  But the one you need to talk to is your father.  You need to ask him, right out, why he's so into you attending college, or why he wants you to start from the bottom and earn everything you get.  He will talk to you, I know that.  Don't shut him out, he's your biggest fan and loves you, so much."

Jack looked to his hands a minute, and then said, "Mom, why didn't he finish college?"

She stood up.  "He's going to be home soon.  Talk to him, Jack.  He's the best resource on his own life and his reasons.  One thing you shouldn't do is close that open door between you."

***

"What are you painting?" Ray Martino said, stepping behind Bitsy quietly. 

She looked back at him quickly and blushed.  

He said, "It's just getting started, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"It's a person, it seems."

"Yes, it's a person," she said, dragging the cloth over it and putting down her brush.  "I must have forgotten the time.  Is there a session I've missed, or something like that?"

"No, I was, just looking out my office window, and I saw you."

"Oh, well, good afternoon."

"It's almost dinner time.  Have you been painting all day?"

"Yes, I have.  And now, I am getting tired, actually.  I may go in a while and read."

"Well, that's always a good way to pass some time.  I wanted to talk to you, if you have a moment."

"Certainly, and I do."

"Well, this is about your progress."

"All right.  What about it, Dr. Martino?"

"You know I've asked you to call me Ray, many times.  It just doesn't seem to stick."

"I see, and I'm sorry, I just can't seem to get it to come out."

He laughed, lightly.  "It's all right.  I wanted to tell you that very soon, it will be time for you to leave here."

She smiled, barely able to contain herself.  "Really?  Me?"

"Yes, you.  I know you've dreamed of returning to Todd's home, and it seems that may come true."

Her eyes brimmed with tears.  "Oh, my.  Thank you.  I don't know what to say, honestly."

"That's all right.  Sometimes we don't know how to find the words.  And sometimes, it's best.  I will speak with you more tomorrow at session."

"Thank you."  As he walked away, she was overcome with happiness, and asked the nurse to allow her to call her son.

***

The copter hovered over Unforgettable, and Todd, eager to be back, looked below him at the house.  There on the balcony were Blair, holding Jewel in her right arm, and propping her on her hip, Sam, waving, and Ray, running around them in circles with Jack chasing him and quickly grabbing his hand.  Something in him welled up.  That was his family on that balcony, waiting, but somehow, he still felt undeserving.  

He felt outside it. 

The visit to Jack and Pamela Ribsky, and hearing that she saw the house and what it did to her had stayed with him.  The whole ride to the airport, with his father, who had decided to see him off, was quiet.  Timothy had asked him, again, "Todd, do ya want to talk about it?  That visit had to bring things up for ya?" and he had said, "No, Dad, I really don't want to," and the conversation had died completely the rest of the way.

On the plane, he had closed his eyes and envisioned her, with him, together.  It seemed like a different time, a different life.

She'd said, "It's beautiful.  I didn't know you still had it."

"Of course.  You think I'd give it up?  I gave it to you on a flight then, I'm giving it to you on a flight now.  So, marry me, again.  With all that's happened, can you still see your way clear to becoming my wife?"

"Always," she said, "and forever, Todd.  But why didn't you give it to me when we were married in the park?"

"I don't know.  I can't even remember what I was thinking about that.  If I were going to pretend to be the most romantic man on earth, I'd say I knew we weren't really where we are now. . ."

She knew exactly what he meant, without explanation.  She said, "Yes."

He said, "Yes?"

"Yes, I'll marry you again."

It seemed to be forever since he'd been with her, on the jet, she under him, and him placing the ring back on her hand . . .so much horror had passed since . . .

When they arrived at the Manning Building, to drop off Timothy, the man held Todd in his embrace a bit longer than usual, and said, "I'm here for ya," in his ear, before winking and leaving him.  Todd had watched him go, wishing he'd taken him up on the discussion, but then again, wondered what he would he have said.  He'd been afraid to talk about it because he feared losing himself.  But, he didn't want to go home to her in pieces, after she had been worried about it in the first place.

And now, she was there, again, below him on the balcony, waiting.  He couldn't push down the emotion of seeing her, and the kids, normal, happy, waiting.  His eyes spilled over, and he kept his face turned from Perzno, toward the window.

The copter landed, the door opened, and he stepped out onto the terrace, and stood a moment.  Ray, breaking loose of Jack's grip, starting running, and his voice, like a little motor, said, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," over and over, until he hooked himself onto his father's legs, as the copter's engine ceased.  

Blair noticed that Todd was awkward, moving slower than usual, and she frowned slightly.  She handed the baby to Jack, and said, "Todd," as she ran, at first slow, and then faster, to her husband.  She took Ray's hand, and looked into Todd's eyes, and still studying them, she said, "No, Ray, go back with Jack and Sam."

"Daddy," he repeated, and Jack came toward him, calling his name. He ran back to his brother, who took the children inside.  

"Todd," Blair said, putting her hand on his face.  "Todd, what happened to you?" she said, putting her other hand on his arm, and then pulling him to her.  It was a few minutes before he accepted and returned her embrace, but when he did, he held on tightly.  She repeated, "Todd, what is it?"

"I just . . . I don't deserve this, Blair."

Her lips trembled.  "Of course you do," she whispered, softly.

"I don't feel like I do.  It's too perfect.  Like it's someone else's life."

"No.  Todd.  We're far from perfect, but we are yours.  Now tell me what this is about?"

"I  . . . don't know.  I just . . . lost it when I saw you all waiting for me.  Like I didn't belong, or none of it was mine."  

"Damn it, I didn't want you going to Chicago in the first place, Todd, it just brings you down," she said, smoothing his hair.

She felt his arms tighten around her.  "Just hang on to me, all right?  Just another minute."

She got quiet, and then she said, "You're okay.  I'm here, the kids are here, in the house you built for us.  We love you, Todd.  You're home."

He closed his eyes.  Then he pulled back from her, and he said, "You sure?  Even with everything, well, you know?"

"Yes, even so.  None of that means anything."

He looked away a moment, and then said, "Let's go see my kids," and took her hand, heading toward the house.

They stepped through the pane glass door, and the children were all huddled by the fireplace, waiting.  Sam was crying.  Ray looked up and said, "Daddy's here.  He okay now."

Sam cried, "Dad?" and ran to him.  Todd lifted him off the ground and held him to his chest and shoulder.  "I'm okay Buddy, just tired."

Jack stood up and brought Jewel toward her father.  While holding Sam, Todd reached out and palmed her head, his face was filled with emotion.  Ray had again locked himself onto Todd's leg.  "My family," he said.

"It's not like you're seeing us for the first time, Dad,"  Sam had pulled himself together.

Todd just closed his eyes.

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