Memories Unlocked #20

# 20

As Blair pushed him back towards the hospital, he look over his shoulder at her.  “We have a slight problem with me going home with you.”

“Todd, don’t start this again.  We’re going home and that’s all there is to it.”

“No, you have me all wrong.  I’m willing to go but I have no papers.  I was getting ready to go to the base this morning.  Lucy’s father offered me a ride on one of the army transport planes if I should ever want to leave.”

“Who’s Lucy?”

Todd thought back to the previous night.  His last image of his little friend was of her being held by her mother. It took him a moment to answer. He owed so much to the children and especially to Blanca and Lucy after all the times they had come and chatted and kept him occupied as he recovered.  When he told them he was leaving he had broken their little hearts.  Then Lucy had passed away.  It had been another blow to both himself and the children. “ Lucy is…” his voice caught. “was one of the children I worked with on the ward.”

Blair stopped pushing the chair. She realized who he was talking about as she recalled the earlier conversation with the young girl on the ward.  The only other time, he had been so choked up had been when he let his feelings show when Starr was so sick.  She reached down and laid a hand on his shoulder.  “Todd, I’m sorry.”

Todd blinked away his tears and rolled the chair out from under her hands.  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I hurt those kids last night and abandoned them because I was more concerned about me than them.  I’m nothing but a bastard.  Everything I’ve managed to remember so far tells me I’m not worth shit.”  He swung back around to face her.  “You say you love me no matter what I’ve done.   How can you do that?  I’ve hurt you, I gave your son away.  I know I’m a rapist and that I’ve spent time in jail.  Why on earth would you even want me around those two beautiful children in there?"

Blair sat down on a bench close to Todd.“You think you’re horrible because you’ve had some memories return but you’re not seeing or remembering all that you’ve done, just some bad stuff.  Your concern for the children on that ward is just one of the reasons I love you.  You’ve helped a number of children because they needed it and because you could.  You didn’t ask for recognition.” She paused as she remembered the one time he tried to make himself out a hero. “Well maybe one time you took credit. But that was it.  Todd, you always manage to form bonds with children and I’m guessing it has to do with something in your past.  Whatever happened then, gave you an affinity with children.  Don’t berate yourself over what happened last night.  Tell me, could you have prevented that tragedy?”

Sadly, Todd knew she was right.  There was nothing he could have done to prevent Lucy from dying.  He shook his head no. “You’re right, I couldn’t stop that, but when it happened I still decided to leave even though the rest of the kids needed me.”

“Oh, so you made the decision because you didn’t want the kids bothering you anymore and it was too much trouble to pretend to care about them.  Is that it?” Blair knew what she said was harsh but she knew Todd.  He always thought the worst of himself. As expected, she got the response she needed from him.

“God no!  I love those kids. I was trying to leave so I wouldn’t hurt them.  The more I’ve remembered the more I realized I shouldn’t be around them.  I felt they would be better off without me and the sooner I broke ties with them the better.” His voice cracked.  “I let them down.” his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Blair’s heart was filled with such love for Todd at that moment and all she wanted to do was hold him. “Did you?  I don’t think so.  I met a little girl this morning.  She told me all about how you comforted her last night after her best friend died.  I know it’s the truth because I saw you last night out on the deck with her.  I could tell you were close even though I couldn’t hear what you were saying to her.  A man who was only thinking of himself would have said his goodbyes and just left.  You didn’t, you still hung around longer because the kids needed you.  That’s the man I know who would do anything for his children because he loves them with all his heart.”  She got up and gave him a little hug, then started pushing him again. “Now that that’s settled, let’s get back to the problem of getting you home.  It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t have your passport or ID. That is going to slow things up.  It means the kids and I will just have to stay here until we get that taken care of.  Beware, Starr is probably going to try to monopolize your time because she’s missed you so much.  It will also give us a chance to get reacquainted.”

“Blair,”

Todd spoke so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.  “Yes, Todd?”

“I’m paralyzed.”

“I know… Oh!” Blair felt herself blushing from her head to her toes, “I…” she didn’t know what to say.  She had been thinking of getting him into bed and it had never entered her mind what his being paralyzed might mean to that. Refusing to let him think it mattered to her about his disability she leaned down and whispered in his ear.  “Don’t worry, I sure I can find many different ways to work around that problem and still give us both some pleasure.” To show her meaning, she nibbled his earlobe briefly, blew in his ear, and watched as he responded to the sensations.   She laughed lightly and pushed him through the door where Dr. Sanchez and the children were waiting.

****

Sam, James, and Heddy watched all the departing flights for the day and never saw any sign of Todd.  

“Well, Sam, what do you want to do?”  James looked over to where Heddy had recently fallen asleep in a chair.  “We really should get her back to the hotel and regroup.”

“You’re right, any and all flights that were headed to the States have left.” Sam walked over and woke Heddy.  “Come on Heddy, we’re going back to the hotel.  We should have done that before coming here.  Jetlag has caught up with you.”

Heddy pushed herself out of the chair.  “Ya, I guess you are right, but I did want to help Mrs. Manning.  Poor little Starr, she so misses her papa.”

“We know one thing Heddy,  Mr. Manning didn’t get on any flights today.  He’s still here in Guam, so we will find him.”

Sam called Blair as soon as they got into the taxi to give her an update about the airport. Blair had just finished feeding Jack when her phone went off. “Hello.”  

“Blair, he never got on a plane.  Did you have any luck with Dr. Sanchez?”

“Oh Sam,. I’m sorry.  We found him here after all.  Look, there’s a lot to explain.  I was wondering if you could bring Heddy and pick up Jack.  He needs a nap and I’m sure Heddy does too.  There’s no way I’m leaving right now and Starr is too stubborn to go back and lay down, now that we’ve found her daddy.”

Sam looked over at Sawyer and covered the phone. She mouthed “They found him” and then returned to answer Blair.  “Sure Blair we were headed back to the hotel but we’ll swing by the hospital first.  Do you need anything else?”

“No Sam.  You did your job and for that I’m so grateful.  I think we’re going to be here for a couple more weeks.  You’ve earned yourself some free time.  Maybe you would like to invite Mr. Sawyer to join you on a tropical vacation.  All expenses on me of course, but I would like to hire Mr. Sawyer and his plane in two weeks for a ride home.”

“That’s very generous Blair.  I think James would be delighted to give you a ride home in a couple of weeks.  We’re pulling up to the hospital right now.  We’ll join you shortly.”  

“What’s that about a ride home in two weeks,” asked Sawyer?  

“James, they found Todd. Blair said they needed to stay here for a couple of weeks.  She gave me some time off and an all expense trip for the next two weeks on her.  What do you say? Care to join me?”

“Baby, I’m all yours and I have no problem giving them a ride home.  I’m just your friendly taxi service as long as she’s footing the bill.  So I’m guessing we were wrong about the doctor?”

“I guess, she just said there was a lot to explain.  Heddy, you stay here and I’ll go get Jack.”  Heddy nodded, grateful she wouldn’t have to get out.  Sam leaned over and gave James a light kiss and hopped out of the taxi.  She went through the entrance to find Blair headed for her.  She was a little disappointed not to see Todd, but Blair appeared in a good mood so the reunion must have gone okay.  Sam couldn’t help herself.  She needed to know what was going on. “I’ll take him Blair, Heddy is really tired so I told her to stay in the taxi.  Are you okay?  I’m guessing he had an explanation for you.  Do you believe it?”

Blair nodded.  She handed Jack to Sam.  “Sam, we couldn’t have been more wrong.  Dr. Sanchez is Todd’s doctor.  She saved his life.”

Just then, Dr. Sanchez came around the corner from her office pushing Todd.  Starr was sitting on her father’s lap and chatting away.  Todd was listening intently and then he saw Sam.

“You,  I know you.  You were here a couple of days ago.  I saw you take a picture of me.  Why and who are you?”  

Blair had felt a twinge of jealousy when Todd said he knew Sam, but after hearing the rest, her fears calmed.  He didn’t really remember Sam either. “Todd, this is Sam Vance.  She’s the private detective I hired to find you.”

Taken aback by the fact that Todd didn’t know her, Sam wasn’t sure what to say.

Todd nodded at her.  “I guess  I should thank you then.  Blair, Dr. Sanchez wants to run a few more tests. There isn’t any reason for you to stick around.  Why don’t you and Starr go back to the hotel?  I promise I won’t take off on the army transport.”

Miguela tapped his shoulder.  “That’s for sure.  An army transport isn’t equipped to handle your situation.  I’m glad I heard that.  You could have done more damage if you had taken that flight.  Todd, I’m sorry you felt the need to leave like a thief in the night.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Doc.  I just had this overwhelming urge to leave before any of you got hurt by me.  Which reminds me.  There’s something I need to do and I need to do it alone.”

“Todd, I’m not going any…” Blair paused as she saw the determined look in his eyes.  He had given in as much as he was willing for the day.  Once Todd made up his mind about something nothing could persuade him from it.  She had pushed as far as he would let her. She was still feeling her way with this Todd and it was obvious he was going to be a challenge.  “Okay Todd, we’ll go.  Come along Starr.”

Starr turned in her father’s arms and wrapped her small arms around his neck squeezing.  “No, I want Daddy to come with us.  Mommy, you said we were taking Daddy home.”

“We are, Starr, but Daddy needs to spend a little more time here.  We’re not leaving until he’s ready to go and you can come see him tomorrow.”

“No!” She clung to her father. “Daddy, you said you’d never leave and yet you did.  I’m afraid you’ll leave again.”

“Starr, I’ll be here when you come tomorrow. I promise. I won’t break this one. Okay?”

He unwrapped her arms from his

Reluctantly, Starr let her mom take her hand and lead her out of the hospital but she watched her dad all the way as if she expected him to disappear again.

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