The End of Blame: Chapter 53

The adoption celebration was a bash that weekend at Unforgettable.  Todd pulled out all the stops, from renting three bouncy houses to hiring a band.  Everyone was invited who knew The Mannings, and the majority of invited guests responded with a 'yes.'  Food was going to be plentiful, and Todd made certain the little boy, and the rest of his family, would not forget the day.

"Are you making an appearance as Spiderman?"  Blair said, brushing her hair in the mirror.  He watched her, taking note of her slender body, and the scar where the bullet had taken their child's life.

"I guess I could, I've been through quite a few costumes in my day.  I could always go as The Beast, you seem to like that one."

She smiled, "I do."  She puttered around the bathroom, and catching a glimpse of him, in his boxers and tank, behind her.  Her heart skipped a beat.

"I have lots of costumes up my sleeve.  There's the nun, of course, but that might be in bad taste at this point.  The count, the one from Halloween at The Bayberry Inn."

"That's really reaching back."

He said, "Get dressed now, we're late for the guests."

The copter, driven by Perzno, landed on the heliport, and out came a disheveled and windblown passenger, followed by two others.  Viki, sitting by Timothy in Unforgettable yard, and being entertained by his stories of Irish folklore, changed from a sweet smile to a look of shock.  "It can't be," she said, pointing to the heliport, which was difficult to see from the angle at which they sat.

He said, "What is it?"

Viki said aloud, "I don't want to speak too soon, but, could that be that Dorian?"

Back inside Unforgettable, Blair finished primping herself, and Todd stepped out of the bathroom into view.  

She said, "Hi,"

"Hi, Blair." He kissed the top of her head.

"I feel better now.  I want to know the surprise, though."

"Who said you're getting surprises today?"  he asked.

She said, "I think I am.  You hinted at court.  Are they good surprises?"

"Yes.  They are good surprises."

"An 'Am-I-going-to-cry-surprise?'"

"Maybe," he said, "but not the bad kind of crying," he said.

"You were sad, too.  I can see it, right here."  she pointed to his face.

"I was.  Something hurt my lifeline.  I'm not now, though.  My head is figuring if the surprise is a go or not."

She smiled again, less weakly this time.  "It's a go, why not?  What have we got to lose?  If it's not each other or our kids, then . . . we go, full steam ahead."

He kissed her forehead.  "All right.  I think you'll like it.  In fact, I'm sure you'll like it."

Taking her hand, he lead her outside, and she noticed that over the top of the gazebo, there was a huge mass of floating gold heart balloons.  All of them were tied to the gazebo with gold ribbon, all floated at the same height, making a mass of them like a huge gold cloud above it.  She sucked in her breath. "Oh my God!  Todd!"

He smiled, and she hugged him around the neck, tightly.  She heard the band playing "My One and Only Love," and said, "The vows.  The renewal ceremony.  That's the surprise."

He said, "It's part of it."

"There's more?"

"There's always more, Blair."  he said.


The Mannings made their entrance a short time later, and Sam ran to the band and yelled, "Ya gotta play now, Mom and Dad are here!"  The band began to play, and Sam ran around them in circles, "I'm dock-ded!  YAY!"

Todd and Blair, almost sewn together at the hip, walked arm in arm through the crowd, greeting guests.  He had insisted on her wearing white; not that she minded, but she realized that since the Vickerman Premier when he had first revealed himself to Llanview again, he had been partial to it.  After all, it was the color she was wearing when he first touched her again after all the time apart.  She had agreed, even though it was almost Winter, and donned a white pants-suit with a lace camisole top.  She wanted to please him, mostly because he was working every day to keep his family close.

The morning lead to a warm November midday, which fit perfectly with Todd's plan of having the festivities start outdoors and lead to the indoors later if needed.  While they walked among the slowly increasing crowd, Blair said, "What's going on by the gazebo, Todd?"

She saw rows of white chairs being set up, curving around the gazebo in a half-moon.  He said, "That's later for the surprise."

She asked, folding her arms, "What surprise?"

"Blair, I don't know about you, but if I tell you what the surprise is, then there is no surprise, is there?"

"I guess, but . . ."

"No buts.  Just leave it to me, all right?"

"Okay," she said, and he kissed her cheek, which lead to her leaning toward him with her lips slightly parted, and he kissed her mouth, bringing his hand around her waist to pull her in, softly.

They were interrupted.  "At it again, I see?"

It was Timothy.  He said, "Where's that sister of yours, Lad, I want to make a play for her."

They both laughed.  Todd said, "Viki?  I didn't know you had a thing for her."

"Well, I think she's spectacular.  And it's been too long.  I need a woman in my life, Son."

"Viki's over there, we saw her come in to the yard from the window."  Todd said, "But she's basically spoken for, Old Man."

"Married?"

"No, just spoken for."

"Well then, I have a slight chance, or at least can make a friend of her,"  He was walking without his cane, and seemingly much better.  "We both have had someone else's body parts put in, possibly I have a kindred connection to the woman."

Todd looked at Blair, and smirked, "I didn't realize you liked her that much."

Blair said, taking his arm, "Come on, I'll get you started," and off she went.  As he watched her go, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger.  She'd lost her baby.  It was one thing for him to have someone torment him, but for her, it was another story.  He still seethed about it, if he thought of it too long.  He hoped that this day was a new starting place for them, and went off to check the arrangements at the gazebo.

Blair approached Viki with Timothy on her arm.  "Hi, Viki!"  She said, and Viki leaned to embrace her.

"Oh, Blair, how are you doing?  So good to see you."

"I'm fine, doing quite well.  Sam's ours."

"Yes.  Spectacular news."  Viki hugged her again.

Blair closed her eyes and gave in to her emotions as she hugged her sister-in-law.  "Yes, and I'm happy.  We're all family."

"You are," Viki said.

Blair said, "Thank you."  Her voice, husky with feeling, trailed off, as she searched the area again for her husband.

Timothy spoke up, "Viki, nice to see you again," he said, putting out his hand.

She took it, "Mr. Broderick, thank you, for being there for my brother.  He's told me how important your input has been."

"Ah, it was nothing.  The boy is like my son, and I honor that he feels so strongly about it.  He's been through very bad times of late.  Sometimes, it was so dark, I feared for him."

"I know, I felt the same."  Viki said.

Timothy put out his elbow to her, and she took his arm.  He said, "Care to introduce me around a bit?  In case anyone's forgotten who I am, Lass?"

"Certainly," she said, and they walked off.

"You never stop surprising me, Todd."  Blair said, kissing him.


He said, "Well, it's not quite over yet."  A horn sounded, from the band, and an announcement was made.


"Everyone, please move to the gold balloon area, and take your seats."


Blair looked at Todd, "Us too?"


"No," he said, "Not us, too.  Not yet."  He stared into her eyes, "God, I love you."


"And I love you."


Sam pulled at Todd's trouser leg.  "Dad, isn't this enough mushy stuff?"


"Hey Bud, how did you like your special day?"


"It was the best!  Spiderman came and he gave me his autograph, and he picked me up and then he gave me this web gun, it shoots farther than the other one I had!"


"That's great."


"Thanks, Dad, for docking me, and for the party.  Can I get down now and go to the gold balloon thing?"


"Yes, you can.  Remember what I said, about where you have to be."


"Okay!  Bye Mom!"


They watched him run off, and she turned to her husband.  "Does this mean we have it all?  Because it feels like it."


"I guess that's what it means," he said.


"I'm so happy.  Can you stand that you make me happy?"


"Now I can, then I couldn't."


"Thank God for now."


He nodded.  "You okay?"


"I'm more than okay," she said, "I mean, look at this place, what you've done.  All the people, and I can say they are our friends.  Look at the balloons.  You're . . ."


She was interrupted by the band, playing "Unforgettable" and teared up, looking at him.  Accompanying them was a recording of her voice, singing it, from Sam's tape recorder.  She said, "I won't ask how you did that."


"I have my ways," he said, putting out his elbow.  She took it and they walked together, finally finding a path of white flower petals and gold confetti, and continued to follow it to the gazebo.


She said, "Oh my God, Todd?  Is that Dorian?  And Kelly and Cassie?"


"Maybe."


She ran from him to them, and embraced them all, her happiness and smiles giving way to a few tears.  He walked up after her, and slowly approached.  Dorian said, "Todd."


"Auntie Dorian," he said, standing with a smirk on his face.


"Mother," Cassie began, and Todd interrupted her.


"Let her say what she wants to, Cassie.  We know my Auntie Dorian doesn't quite understand me.  It never mattered before, it won't matter now."


Blair turned and said, "Todd," with that ut-oh sound in her voice.  


Another interruption occurred when Timothy came to Todd's side, and said, "Now, who is this lovely lady, Lad?"


Todd said, "Oh, no.  Not this, again, please." 


She extended her hand, "I'm Dorian Lord, I'm Blair's aunt.  And you are?"


"Timothy Broderick, Attorney at Law."


"I see, well nice to meet you," she shook his hand.  


Todd, with an eyebrow raised, put a hand out to Blair, who returned to his side.  "Not this," he muttered, under his breath.  "What happened to Viki?"


Blair said, leaning toward him, "It does look as if he's smitten with Dorian already.  Viki must have told him about Clint."

"If they hit it off, and get married, does that mean that she might be my . . . evil stepmother?"

She elbowed him, "Cut it out.  Todd, thank you," she misted over, looking at his handsome face.

He said, "After this, no more secrets.  Just like the first time.  We're going into our lives ready for anything, Mrs. Manning."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, "Whatever you say, Mr. Manning."

Cassie, watching them from a short distance, said to Kelly, "My God, can you believe they are still like this with each other?"

"Heart-stoppin' romance."  Kelly said.

"You said that the last time."

"I know, but that's what it is.  Look at them.  And Blair.  She's so lost in him.  I guess she always was."

Cassie responded, "I know.  They're fortunate to have found each other.  Even though it has taken so long to get it to this point today.  They probably think it was worth it."  She noticed Dorian had taken Timothy's arm, and was being lead to a seat.  Cassie continued in Kelly's ear, "Something is wrong, though.  Something happened.  Blair was strange when she first saw us.  I thought she was going to break down.  Did you feel her shaking?"

"I did.  I just thought she was nervous, though."  Kelly said.

"I think it was more than that.  I'll find out later.  First, we have a renewal ceremony to attend.  Where did Todd want us to stand?"

"Over there," Kelly said, and the two of them proceeded.

Todd looked at Blair, who's arm was tucked in his.  "You ready?"

"To be with you?  For the rest of my life?  Again?" she put her chin on his shoulder, "Yes, I'm ready."

"I just ask one thing,"  he said,

"You brought her here, and I'm not asking her to leave."  She quipped.

He smiled, and touching her face, he said, "No, not that.  Another thing."

"Ask."

"Give me a chance to make all of those missing years up to you."

"You already have," and her face crinkled with bittersweet sadness.

"Give me a chance to take everything bad away and give you everything beautiful."

She couldn't answer.  She just hugged him and gathered herself together.  "Thank you," she said, "for loving me, always."

"Same here, Babe."  They pulled out of the hug, and she took his arm again.  "Let's go Mrs. Manning, let's finish this," and they walked through the rows of guests and took their place in front to proclaim, once again, their love.

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The End of Blame: Chapter 52

Early the next day, the family was up getting ready for the big day.  Sam's day of adoption hearing had arrived, and everyone scrambled to be ready.  Jack had his best suit, as did Todd, and Little Sam got his first suit for the occasion.  They all stood, in a row, for Blair's inspection.  They looked like three matching dolls.  She said, "I am not sure which one is the most handsome!"

Sam said, "Me!" and slapped Jack's thigh, causing him to try and grab him.

Jack said, "You little rugrat, I'll make mincemeat out of ya!"

Todd lifted an eyebrow and said, "They still say that?"

Sam, running away from Jack, said, "No, he got it off a cartoon."

Blair said, "No running in your good clothes."  The two boys settled down, and sat for breakfast.

"Since you got dressed first, take your suitcoats off, and put a bib on."  She looked at Todd, "All three of you."

Little Ray was in his carrier.  Blair had purchased a teeny suit-like onesie for him to wear.  It had an artificial tie.  All four of the Manning men were in matching colors: a dark suit, with a patterned tie, and a white shirt.

When all of their bibs were on, Blair served their breakfast.  She was not dressed, but had everything ready to just slip her navy and white dress on.

"We're going to look so cool at my dock-shun."  Sam said.  "Everyone will know we're a family, right Mom?"

"Right, Little Man."

"I thought I was big now, because we have Little Ray.  Besides, Mom, where did he come from again?"

"Sam, you know, he was inside my tummy, remember?"

"Yeah, but, how did he get there?"

"Okay!"  Todd interrupted, "We're playing the quiet game.  Ready?"

Jack burst out laughing and almost sprayed orange juice at his father.  Todd responded by taking a napkin, balling it up, and throwing it at Jack's head.  When he ducked, the napkin landed in Little Ray's carrier, on his lap, as if he caught it and he immediately picked it up and threw it onto the floor.

"Are you determined, all of you, to make a mess?"  She said, picking it up.

"Come on, you love your four boys."  Todd chided her.

"Yeah, but not cleaning up after them."

"Mom's right.  Let's all clean up our mess and let her go get ready.  Let's go, boys."  Todd said.

Sam said, "Mom, I love you."  he hugged her legs.  "Thanks for docking me."

"You're welcome, Sam."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Sam."

"Same thing, thanks for my dock-shun."

"Look Sam, a-dop-shun," Jack tried.

Sam put his hands on his hips and said, "I said that already!"

Blair felt her heart swell, as she watched them bantering about the kitchen, Todd stopping to smile at Little Ray, and them all cleaning up, before going to their suit jackets and putting them back on.  With a wistful feeling that she could not quite identify as love, bittersweetness, or gratefulness, or a combination of all three, she ascended the stairs to get her court clothes on.

***

When Todd and Blair and their boys arrived at the courthouse, they were met by Starr in the lobby, who was holding Hope's hand, and Addie, who was smiling.  "Good morning, Todd," Addie said, kissing his cheek.

"Addie," he said, hugging her, "Big day."

"I know, for you and my beautiful girl and my Sam."

Blair had an uneasy feeling when she saw the courtroom door.  It happened to be the same courtroom where the shooting took place, and claimed the life of Sommer.  Todd also noticed, and he said, "Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes," she cleared her throat, "yes.  This is for Sam."

He nodded, and the family proceeded into the court.  When entering, Sister Rebecca Katherine was there, and Timothy was already present and accounted for at the front table.  Todd, Sam and Blair went to the table, while Addie, the nun, Starr, Jack, Hope and Little Ray sat in the spectator's area.  Sister Rebecca Katherine whispered, "Jack, ya look like a pretty boy in that suit, I'll kick your tail later, eh?"


When they sat at the table in the court, Sam looked up and said, "Grandpa, look, there's a pretty window up there.  The sun is coming in.  It looks like God."

Blair looked at Todd and her eyes misted over.  He took her hand and mouthed, "I love you."  He could feel her hand trembling.  She's never gotten over it.  Sommer.  She's never gotten past it.

Sam said, "Dad!  Can I change my name to Sam Spiderman Manning?  Please?"

"No, Sam, Spiderman keeps his identity secret, remember?"  Todd answered.

"Oh, yeah."

The judge took his place at the bench, and said his usual formal opening, then turned to The Mannings.  "Sam Manning?"

He stood up, "Yes judge."

The judge smirked, "Hello, Mr. Manning."

"Hi.  I want to get dock-ded.  Today, and no funny stuff."

The court erupted into laughter.  Todd leaned over, "You tell him!" he whispered.  Blair elbowed her husband.

"Why should you be, uh, dock-ded?"  the judge said.

"Because I love my Mommy and my Daddy.  They take good care of me.  Dad's a superhero and Mom's singing is the best, it makes my heart beat slower so I can sleep.  I never want to leave them.  Even though Dad says, when I grow up, I'll get my own house, I don't want to ever do anything like that."

Blair put her hand to her lips, and her eyes moistened with tears.  Todd put a strong hand on Sam's head, and the boy looked up to him and smiled.

The judge went through some papers, and then said, "Well, everything appears to be in order.  I see here the child's biological father is out of the country and has signed over parental rights to both of The Mannings, is that correct, counselor?"

Timothy stood, responding, "Yes, your honor."

"Sam, can I ask you another question?"  The judge asked.

"Yeah, okay.  Just as long as I get dock-ded by lunch."

Again laughter.  The judge said, "Do you know the difference between a truth and a lie?"

"Yes.  A truth is a good, and a lie is a bad."

"All right.  Which one is real?"

"Both, but the lie is a real trick, and a truth is a real thing."

The judge chuckled, and said, "Fine.  Sam, why are Todd and Blair going to adopt you?"

"Because they love me.  They want me.  My real Dad, he didn't want me."  Blair looked at Todd with tears in her eyes.  He kept his hand on his son's head.  Sam continued, "He was mean to me sometimes.  He didn't like me all that much.  But my Dad, he's a hero, he saved my mom.  He takes me places.  He plays with me, all the time, even when he's tired.  He's my best friend, but so is Grandpa."

"Grandpa?"

"Him."  he said, pointing to Timothy.

"Mr. Broderick, can you explain?"

"The boy calls me Grandpa, your honor, because, well, I feel like The Mannings are my family.  There's no crime in that."

"I've made my decision.  Sam Manning, you are now the child of Todd and Blair Manning.  You must listen to them, and love them, until you're big.  Do you understand?"

"Yay!  Yes Mr. Judge I do!"  he jumped on Todd, who picked him up and hugged him.  Sam squeezed his neck and then put his arms out to Blair, who let Todd continue to hold him, but hugged him just the same.

"I'm dock-ded, Jack!"  Sam yelled, and jumping down from Todd, ran to his brother.

Timothy lead the way from the table, and Todd and Blair lingered behind, her arm linked in his.  "Today's a big day for him." she said.

"And us.  Another kid.  Ours.  I like that." he said.

"It's amazing, really, how far we've come in so short a time."  she put her head on his shoulder as they walked.  They watched as their eldest children took the youngers by the hands and carrier and brought them to the limo.  

Blair turned back, looking into the courtroom, which was all but empty.

He said, "You okay?"

"As good as I can be, I think.  You've been nothing but perfect to me, Todd.  You've really helped.  But sometimes," her voice wavered, "I just . . . I miss my baby girl, Todd.  We never got to know her."

"I know," he said, watching her scan the room with her eyes. 

"I don't think I realized how . . . much it still hurts me."  She closed her eyes.  "This place, it . . . just makes me see it over again."  Her hand went to her belly without conscious thought.  "It's behind us, right?"

"Yeah, it's behind us.  That's why you're going to understand what I am going to do next.  All right?"

She was surprised.  "Okay.  But what do you mean?"

"Trust me, it's going to be fine."


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The End of Blame: Chapter 51 (adult)

He pushed the door to the bedroom open with one hand, his other arm wrapped around her back, as he pulled her close into a warm, deep kiss.  He used his foot to close the door behind him, and made his way, with her in his arms, their mouths on each others', to the bed.  He backed her up to the edge of it, and she sat, in front of him.  She looked up at him, with her green eyes sparkling, and whispered, "Whatever you need, Todd, I'm here."

Everything he had lived for, for eight years alone, was tied up in her voice, and he felt himself stiffen at the sound of it.  Her airy, soft voice, in all it's forms - her laugh, her "Tawd!" when berating him, thanking him, calling his name when in ecstasy, singing to him - all of it was memorized like a prayer in his heart.  He raced to undo his belt and pants himself, eager to be lost in her, and something caused him to be unable to wait, made him want her that moment, and to wait no longer.

She pulled off her top and slacks, and tossed them onto the floor.  With his shirt undone and open, and his tank undershirt clinging to his perfect body, he found her eyes again, and ran his hands over her breasts and chest.  Then, he delicately drew a single finger across her collarbone, before running it down her body.  Kissing her neck, he moved his hand down, and pushing her panties aside, slid his finger all the way inside her.

"Yes," she whispered, letting her head hang back under his touch.  He was more urgent and aggressive than usual, as he stripped her underclothes off, and drew his tongue down her torso, and she loved it.  His mouth licked and sucked at her at a feverish pace, his lips leaving no place unkissed.  When his tongue moved in and out of her, she opened her legs wider, and put her hands into his hair, running her fingers through it, like spun silk.

Within a few moments, he was on top of her, and looking directly into her eyes, plunged inside her, causing her to moan with surprise and pleasure.  She loved him like this and looked at him, her beautiful man, as he closed his eyes and let out a groan that brought ripples of pleasure to her.  Somehow, after the years together, she saw something new almost every time.  This night, he was forceful, dynamic, and hard, and didn't bother waiting for her lead.  She was more than excited by him; she was ravenous.

She said, "What ever's gotten into you, I like," and she pulled his mouth to hers, tasting herself and his lips.

"You like this?" he asked, and lifted one of her long legs over his shoulder.  She curled it around his back, and he changed his motion and speed, pushing her against the bed with great power.  She grabbed onto him, her fingers pushing into the skin on his back, as if she could not get him close enough.  She squealed as he brought the pace up more and she peaked, feeling herself spasm against him.  He murmured something about how he could feel her, and exploded inside, not long after.

He fell onto her and then rolled off, lying next to her.  Reaching for her hand, he wove his fingers in hers.  Both of them were breathing heavily, and he said,  "Do I ever scare you?"

"Scare me?" she turned on her side to face him.  "You don't ever scare me.  It's not possible.  You turned me on, so much.  How did you feel, Todd, being a little . . . like that with me?"

He looked at her, and sighed, "I just wanted you so much, I couldn't wait or hold back.  It felt . . . well, you know, good to just let go."

She smiled, "That is music to my ears, Mr. Manning.  Not to say I don't love all the ways you make love to me.  Your tenderness and sweetness I love so much.  And that slow, long stuff in the tub.  But, there's something to be said for this.  It was an unexpected surprise.  Like that time in Ireland, not long back."  He knew just what she was speaking of.  "I think you've only been like that one or two times.  Mostly when we were fighting, or apart a long time or something."

"Wait, wasn't that always?"

"Oh, stop, you!"  And she played with the hair hanging over his shoulder, and kissed him.  "I love you so much."

"I love you, more," he said.

"Now," she tweaked his nose, "tell me everything that happened in your session."

***

The afternoon lingered, Todd and Blair upstairs in the bedroom, Little Ray, napping in his nursery, and the family, downstairs in the kitchen and family room.  Sister Rebecca Katherine made dinner, her famous pork chops and sauerkraut.  Sam ran into the kitchen, "Sister Becca Thrin, what's that smell?"  he said, plugging his nostrils with his little fingers..

"It's only the sauerkraut, here, have a bite." She put a piece of pork chop and the shredded cabbage on a fork, and fed it to him.

"Pew, that smells!  But it tastes okay.  I just have to keep squeezing my nose while I eat it."

"Now, Sammy boy, you'll get used to the smell soon enough."

"No, such thing, Sam, don't buy it for a gosh darn minute, " Timothy said, "She's tellin' ya a fast one."

Jack came into the room, "Eww, it smells in here."

"Oh, stop your bellyachin'.  Once you've eaten it, you forget the smell like magic."

"It'll take David Copperfield," Todd said as he and Blair descended the staircase, "What the Hell died in here?"

Blair elbowed him, "Tawwd!"

"Yeah?  I mean, it does stink in here.  Sister, you should go and get checked."

"Now stop your malarkey, and sit down to enjoy it." The nun said, holding back her laugh.

The family all attempted to ignore the odor and enjoy the meal.  Soon, as The Sister predicted, the smell was less noticeable.  It was quite delicious, and Todd said, "Good thing no one is planning to come by and see us tonight, with us all here holding our noses."

"Don't worry, Lad, if they come back in a week, it will be here.  It lingers for days!"  Timothy said.

Sam cracked up and said, "Good one, Grandpa!"

"Oh stop," Blair said, "Sister, it's quite good."

"Yes, I agree," Starr said.

"I thank ya, and I don't listen to the likes of you, Todd Manning and TImothy Broderick!  You're both just a bit full of blarney, that's what ya are!"

"You know I love you," Todd said, leaning over and kissing her cheek, but before reaching her, he exaggeratedly plugged his nose.  The nun turned and slapped his shoulder playfully.

Everyone helped clean up the kitchen, following the dinner, and Sam opened the back door, letting some air in.  "Maybe this will help with that smell!"

Shaun, walking in the house said, "God, what's that smell?"

"Not you too," Sister said, as the kids laughed.  "Would you like some?"

"Uh, I've already eaten, thanks," he said.


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The End of Blame: Chapter 50

"Wow, you're here," he said.  Blair could tell by his face something was very wrong.  He went to Sister Rebecca Katherine and hugged her.  "Hey, Sister."  He made his way to Timothy, who was sitting on a side chair, his cane propped against the arm.  Todd embraced him, and said, "Glad to see you hobbling around.  Still kicking?"

Timothy said, "My Lad, I'm still here, haven't been buried yet.  Though it was close, a few times of late."

"I'm glad you haven't been buried yet.  That would be awkward considering you are alive."

"Indeed.  Are ya all right, Son?"

Todd sighed, and his face said something his words didn't, "I'm good.  I'm doing better."

"That is what counts," Timothy said, "You're looking better.  Ya seem more rested."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Blair could see his distraction, and so could the Brodericks.  The nun said, "Todd, I'm glad to hear that Sam is going to become your son.  Legally, of course."

"Yeah.  The cute little kid wants me as his father.  Imagine that.  At one point, he was my only friend in the world.  Might still be."

"Oh, ya silly.  Well, then, shall we all go out to dinner and celebrate?"  The nun asked.

Blair said, "I think Todd's tired.  Maybe?"

He looked at her, and then said, "Actually, I am.  Another time?"

"That sounds perfect.  I'll be getting my driver around soon, he'll take us to have a bite to eat and bring us home.  Timothy is going to stay at St. Anne's until he can find a place."

Todd got up, went to the table by the door, and extracting a key from the key ring, threw it to Timothy, who caught it.  "What's this, boy?"

"That's the key to the penthouse.  Someone may as well use it."

"That's very kind of ya.  Are ya sure?"

"Yes, of course we are," Blair said.  She could sense that Todd was exhausted.  

"Well, we should be going.  The limo is about to pull up soon.  I'm glad to have seen ya."  The nun said, and walking to Todd, she said, "Dearest, whatever it is, it shall pass.  The Lord is watching over ya, and you have the strength to make it through.  You'll weather it.  Just keep the faith," and she tiptoed to kiss his cheek.

He said, "Thank you, Sister.  I'll be in touch.  We'll all do a special dinner, maybe this weekend.  I'm just . . . tired, is all."

Timothy put his arm around Todd, and said, "Son, don't let it get ya down.  Hang in there.  You're with your family, that's what matters."

They left, and before the door was fully shut, Todd turned to Blair.  "This might come as a surprise to you, Blair, but I'm tired of pretending I'm like everyone else.  Some husband I am."

"Todd, come on.  Stop." 

"What about McBain?  Maybe he's better for you, Blair, and for the kids.  Maybe being around someone like me, no matter how hard I've tried to be different, is not such a good idea."

"Stop it.  Don't do the self-hate, Todd.  Please."  She went to him and touched his face, then said, "You know how I hate that."  He hugged her, and she said, "Let's go to bed early, all right?"  And she started to climb the stairs.

He said, "Okay, but do we have to sleep?"  She turned and looked into his eyes.  He finished, "I need you, Blair."

"Then, you will have me."

***

"We're leaving.  We're gone," Tea said, looking into the backyard, with a twinge of sadness and loss.  "It's over.  No more Llanview."

Zeus, who was paying the movers, said, "I know."  He hugged her from behind, "You all right?"

"Yeah, I am.  It's good for us, isn't it?"

"It will be."

"We can start fresh, live a new life.  None of this Llanview garbage crowding our minds."

"Right," he said, kissing her neck.

She said, "You okay leaving Sam?"

"Sam will be all right, Tea.  I know he will.  Todd and Blair both love him."

She stiffened.  "Whatever you think, he is your son."

Zeus said, "You have to let go of this hate.  They have their lives, and we have ours now.  We have to move on, forget."

She sighed, "I know.  I may have underestimated the hurt he caused me.  I guess it got the best of me," she said.  "But at the same time, I have to take responsibility for my part in this.  I did try and take that little girl away from Blair.  That was...wrong.  Now that I have my own children, it just seems different."

"So, you're being reasonable, today, eh?"

"If you want to call it that."

"I love you," he said, turning her to him.

"Te Amo," she answered.

***

Back at St. Anne's, Sister Rebecca Katherine came across Marty in the solarium.  She was practicing piano, and the nun sat and enjoyed her music.  When she was finished, she said, "I hope you don't mind, Sister.  I was practicing the song that I wrote for Patrick."

"I don't mind at all, dear, and since you're done, can you come and sit by me?"

"Of course, Sister."  Marty did just that.  She said, "I wont have to be here all that much longer.  I'm really getting better."

"I think that's wonderful, dear."

"Sister, I hope you don't mind me asking but, is that article true?  The one about Todd saving your brother's life?"

"Yes, it's true.  Todd donated the money to get the operation.  But, he really saved Timothy another way.  He gave him the will to live and to fight.  Timothy thinks of Todd as a son, and since Todd has no father to speak of, it seems to work perfectly."

"Todd could use a father figure.  I know how it is without family."

"Yes.  Very trying, indeed."

"Patrick has given me a great deal of insight into Todd in recent times.  I've gone down that hatred road before with Todd, and it caused nothing but pain.  In the end, I was wrong about him.  This was after he was pardoned for his crime.  Another man was the rapist attacking nurses, and I caused Todd to almost lose his freedom, this time for a crime he did not commit."

"You've had some bad blood between ya, are ya saying that's gone?"

"I'll never forget what he did, not fully.  But how I can hang on to what he did so long ago, after he's paid with so much of his life?"

"That is a very good question."  The nun said.

"I don't . . . Sister, I don't think I can blame him for my breakdown.  I mean, I used to.  I used to make it all about him.  But, it wasn't.  It was . . . about my baby.  The one I lost.  And about losing John, and of course, it all started when I lost Patrick."

"This is insightful, my dear.  You're doing so well."

"Thank you, Sister," she said, and turned to leave.

As Marty made her way back to her room, the nun looked after her and said, "You were more help than you can imagine dear.  And thank ya Lord for helping her to forgive my boy."

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The End of Blame: Chapter 49

"So, tell me how it went?  Since the last time we met.  You've told Blair everything you've remembered so far?"  Ray asked.

"Yeah, she knows.  You were right.  She loves me."  He couldn't help but smile.

"Good.  You seem okay with all that."

"Yeah.  I am.  She's always loved me, even when I was at my worst."  He looked to his hands, and picked at his finger.

"Something's bugging you, I can see that."  Ray said.  "You want to dive in?"

"A couple of things.  I wonder, when she makes love to me, does she ever get scared, like I'd hurt her?"

"Does it seem that way to you?"

"I can't make myself notice.  When I'm with her that way, everything melts off like icicles in the sun," he began.  "I lose myself in her.  It's the most comforting place in the world for me.  Her voice, when she speaks, it can make me . . ." he stopped himself, and shifted in his seat, "feel things.  I lived hearing it in my mind for those eight years."

"It's beautiful, really, the way you talk about her."

"She's Blair, that's all."

"So, then, you wonder about how she feels about you, as a lover."

"Yeah, I guess.  Sometimes I'm afraid to come on too strong, that I might scare her, but other times, when I've just let loose and said or done something . . ."

"How does she react?"

He thought back, "She gets really excited.  I can tell it turns her on."

"Does she act like she's afraid?"

"No.  I think it's just inside me.  My own being afraid of myself, and what I'm capable of."

"That's probably it, right on the nose.  We can work on all that, even bring her in, if you want."

"Maybe."  Todd said.

"Something else?"

"Some people can't get past what I did in the past, like Nora."

"Others can, like Blair, and it seems like John McBain."  Ray added.

"No, don't get him wrong.  He's not past it.  He's learning to like me in spite of it."

Ray smiled, "Okay.  A good thing?"

"Yeah.  But if he puts his hands on my wife again, I'm not sure I can be as polite."

"Explain."

"He was holding her, when she was upset.  They used to be married.  With Blair, at least when I was not with her, that's like changing socks.   He married her once to help her against Zeus, kid custody, that kind of thing."

"How did you feel when you saw him holding her?"

"Like smashing something.  Like his face.  I can't stand to see her touched by anyone."

"This is the same guy that supported you during your nightmares, and that saved you from the kidnappers, twice.  Right?"

"Yeah.  Right."

"Maybe you're just so deeply afraid to lose Blair, that you overreact to people who pay her attention.  Or it brings up the self-doubt that she can really love you."

"Are you shrinking me, Ray?"

"Am I?"

"I guess I am wrong about him, if I think about it.  He's dating my niece.  That should be enough but when I see it, I just . . ."

"Jealousy.  It's usually motivated by something you think you lack.  You see him as . . .fill in the blank."

"White night meets Dracula."

"Hmf, all right.  And you see yourself as . . ."

"Zorro?  I don't know, Batman?"

"If you think about those references, you see yourself as a misunderstood antihero, Todd.  Good intentions, but dark surrounding you and not always using 'justice and the American way.'  You see people like John as something unattainable.  You can't be that for your wife, so you want him away from her."

"Gee, that sounds good.  I like it.  Write it down, will ya?"

Ray enjoyed sessions like these, when talk was lighter and Todd was feeling better about himself.  They were a strong contrast to the dark, energy-draining episodes he had undergone with this patient, Todd Manning, since he had known him, and were mingled in the sessions, like unpopped kernels; sparing.  He could see why people could genuinely like the guy.  He said, "Dreams?"

"Better. Less of them.  Weird flashes instead.  I can't even tell what I'm seeing.  They're super short.  Usually, I can wake up and deal with them on my own.  Don't have to bother Blair much."

"Can you get back to sleep?"

"Yeah, usually."

"These are all good things.  What do you see as next for you?"

"Being a better father.  Stronger, for my kids.  Normal, I guess."

"You want to be normal?  What does that mean?  What does it look like?"

"Just not always emotionally pent up, not waking up screaming, not scaring the kids, not putting Blair through so much."

"If that's normal, then it seems you're getting there."

"Yeah, I guess it does.  Time to retire, eh?"

Ray laughed.  Then he said, "No.  I'm here when you need me.  We'll work on these goals you're setting for yourself.  Does that sound all right?"

"Sounds great," Todd said, getting up.  "I can't thank you enough, Ray, for the things you've done for me.  I . . . I probably would be in a padded cell somewhere without your help and Blair's."

"Yeah, probably," he quipped, and Todd raised and eyebrow and laughed. "Todd, it's almost as if, you've made it to a good place.  Solid ground.  You're starting a new life with Blair for the last time.  Things are coming back around.  That can only mean one thing."

"Next week?"  Todd said.

"Sure, Next week."  

***


"Guess who's here!"  The nun said, standing on the doorstep of Unforgettable.

Blair's mouth dropped, "Oh my God, you're here!" she cried, and threw her arms around her.  Timothy, who was walking with a cane, was behind her.  Blair hugged him more carefully.

Sam came down the stairs that moment, and his mouth formed a perfect 'o,'  "Grandpa!  Sister Becca Thrin!"  He ran to them, and seeing the cane, he used caution and hugged Timothy's legs.

Timothy said, "Ah, big man, you've grown ten inches since I last saw ya."

Blair could see the tears in the aging man's eyes.  She said, "Well, let them in the house, Sam!"

The two of them walked in, sitting in the family room, and Blair asked if they wanted something to drink.  They refused and started to talk over flights and weather.  Sam got his spelling stickers and showed them off.  Finally, he said, "Grandpa, Sister Becca Thrin, I'm so glad you're back here.  We missed you.  Dad's going to be happy.  And I'm going to be his kid!  He's going to dock me."

"Dock you?  What are ya, a ship?"  Timothy joked.

"No, he's gonna dock me, you know, I'll be his son, for real."

Blair said, "You mean he's going to adopt you."

"Yeah, whatever!"  he said, running up the stairs, yelling, "Jack, Grandpa and your boxing partner are back!" and his voice faded into the distance.

The nun said, as soon as he was out of earshot, "How's Todd?"

Blair said, "Ask him yourself," and the three of them looked to the door, as Todd came in.

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