Failings of the Fathers: 34

"Isn't today the lunch thing for Sam?"  Jack said, as his father woke him.

"I think you're right, it is.  So that changes the plans a little, but no biggie.  We'll get you out of school for it later.  Right now, you'd better get up.  You forgot your alarm."  Todd said.

"I guess I did," Jack said, taking the covers off and heading into the bathroom.

Todd said to himself, "Guess that changes things for today," and headed back to the bedroom.

"Blair?  Blair?"  he bellowed, in his usual style.  

"Yes, what?  The baby's just falling back to sleep.  I'm tired, Todd."

"Sorry, I'll be quieter.  Today's the luncheon.  I don't think our plan for this afternoon is going to work very well."

"It still can, if we take ALL the kids to your mother after lunch, then Jack and Sam can watch over Ray outside Mountainview while you and I and Jewel . . ."

"Good idea.  The kids will be out of school anyway."

"Exactly.  Ray Martino can meet Jewel."

"Nice idea.  All right, we'll do it that way.  I'm going to my office for a bit, and make some calls.  Just yell if you need me."

"Okay," she said.  

In The Sun home office, he sat behind the desk, and looked through some scattered papers before picking up the phone.  

"Yes, Sister Rebecca Katherine, here,"  she said.

"Hey, Sister.  It's Todd.  Wanted to know if you could help us out later?"

"Mondays are low days for me, I think I can.  What is it?"

"Well, Sam has a luncheon today in his honor.  He's Student of the Year for the Rotary Club."

"Ah, so nice."

"And he wants the whole family, and you're part of it."

"All right, I'll be there."

"Well, we can bring you back to Mountainview after, if you can help hang with the kids for a while as Blair and I meet with my mother."

"Sure.  I'll be glad to.  But Todd, Bea's not well."

He paused.  "I know."

"I will be glad to help ya with the children."

"Thanks.  Can you get over to the Country Club for the luncheon?"

"Sure.  I have my driver.  I'll see you all there.  What time?"

"Noon."

"I'll be there."  She hung up.  She was very proud of her great nephew, and shuffled off to let Ray Martino know about the events of the day.

***

"Okay, Buddy, you ready?"  Todd asked, fixing his son's tie.

"I guess so.  I'm kind of nervous."  Sam said.

"Don't be.  Just the family and some people who think you're a cool kid."

"I guess.  What do I get?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I get for being Rotation Student of the Year?"

"Rotary.  I think you get a certificate or something."

"Oh that's good.  And the lunch?"

"Yes, and the lunch."  

Todd finished, and Sam looked in the Country Club Men's Room mirror and said, "Good."

"Okay, then let's go."

"Yep, let's go."

The two of them walked in together.  The Country Club had cornered off the room so that a small area was left for the dignitaries and the family to congregate.  For a moment, Todd remembered some of the first times with Blair on his arm.  When he passed the bar, he realized it had changed a great deal, but was still there.  He imagined her, with her long, flowing blonde hair, cross-legged, complaining about her Aunt Dorian.  He smiled to himself as they made their way to the designated area.

"Good afternoon, Sam Manning," an older man said, extending his hand.  

Sam shook it and looked at the man.  "Good afternoon.  Thanks a real lot for bringing me here."

"No problem."

Sam and Todd made their way to the table where Starr, Hope, Blair, Jewel, Jack and Ray were.  At the second table, Dorian, Addie, Shaun, Viki and Sister Rebecca Katherine sat, with a few people that Sam did not know.  He sat down and blurted, "This is a lot of fuss for just me!"

There were laughs all around.

The lunch was served, and Sam didn't eat most of it.  The older man who had greeted him noticed and said, "What's wrong?  You didn't like it?"

"Not really.  I only like kid stuff."

He raised his eyebrow.  "Honest.  Another good trait.  What kind of kid's stuff?"

"Macaroni and cheese.  Dad's tacos and his pancakes.  I like hot dogs.  Milk.  Stuff like that."

"I see," he said, calling over the waiter, and speaking to him quietly, he returned to his own table.

Sam was content watching everyone around him.  Sister Rebecca Katherine winked at him from her table, his father was staring at his mother like she was something good to eat, and his brother was chasing his other brother around and trying to get him to sit still.  Aunt Dorian was chatting with Grandma Addie, and Sam was proud to have his family with him.  He said, "The only one missing is Grandpa Timothy and Grandma Bitsy," he said aloud.

Blair interrupted Todd's gaze and said, "They would be here if they could, Honey."

"I know.  And Aunt Tina, too."

"Yep, Aunt Tina, too,"  Todd said, and stifled a laugh.

"WOW!" Sam exclaimed, as a waiter brought out a large plate of macaroni and cheese.  "YAY!"

Blair whispered, "Todd, stop."

"It's just funny imagining Tina here for my little son who's smarter than she is,"  he said, leaning toward his wife.

She elbowed him.

***

"That was a lovely event, Sam.  I love the plaque they gave ya."  As the nun spoke, Blair was kissing Dorian and Addie goodbye, as they mooned over the baby.

"Yeah, I thought it was going to be a paper certificate or something.  They must have really liked me."  Sam said to Sister Rebecca Katherine.

"Yes, I'll say they did," the nun said.  "And y'ar a blessing from God, ya are."

"Thanks!"  Sam said, happily, running ahead.  Todd had the carrier with Jewel in it, Blair had Ray's hand, and Jack was coming up behind them all, hands in pockets, looking like his father.

They got to the limo, and Viki approached her brother.  "Todd, we didn't have much time to catch up in the luncheon."

"I know, Sis," he said, leaning over and kissing her cheek.  "And I'm sorry I'm not better at keeping touch."

"Well, we all have those moments.  I wondered where your mother was today.  I had heard a great deal about her, and thought I might meet her." Viki asked.

"She's . . . not here," he stumbled.  He put the baby carrier into the car.  "She's . . . well she's had a breakdown."

"Todd, I'll get in with the kids, go ahead and talk to Viki for a bit."  Blair said, and she put her son into the car and followed suit.

He said, "I'll take Sister Rebecca Katherine's driver to Mountainview, Blair.  You guys go ahead."

She nodded and waved.

He watched the car go.  Viki studied his face.  She said, "There's the most precious things you have, right there in that car," she noted aloud.

He said, "Yeah.  They are."

"Now, about your mother?  What happened to Bitsy?"

"She had a breakdown, she couldn't handle the memories of Peter, the things that happened to her.  She started dreaming about him every night, thinking he's alive, drawing him.  She's . . . catatonic right now.  I promised to visit her, every day if I could, so we're all headed out there today."

"It's not your fault, Todd," Viki said.

"I know."

"But, you think you could have done something to help her."

"No, well, yeah.  Maybe.  I guess I could have killed Peter when I was fourteen, but I failed."  He saw Viki make an expression of pity.  He said, "Everyone can do something better when something goes wrong.  I could have listened to Ray and not taken her home when I did.  He didn't want me to take her out of Mountainview."

"That's not what made her have a breakdown.  You know that's not it."

He looked away.  "No, I guess it's not."

"And that's what I wanted to hear.  I knew something was bothering you.  In fact, I haven't heard much from you.  Are you all right, Todd?"

"Truthfully, Sis, I'm better now.  It's been really hard.  Things are just starting to settle down."

"Well, then that is good.  I am sure with the discovery of your memories, it's been something difficult."

"It was."  He changed the subject, "I delivered Jewel, you know."

"Yes, Jack said so.  He's quite taken with her, and with you."

"He's a good kid.  Just was misunderstood, for a long time."

"Rather like you.  That sounds like how we described you years back, Todd."

"Maybe.  I just . . . wouldn't want him to deal with any of this stuff, that I have in here," he pointed to his head.  "I want to give them everything I never had, you know?"

"Yes, I do know.  I do.  I've been there.  If you ever want to talk, about any of this, you know where to find me.  I've been through some things that I can assure you are similar."

He couldn't stand thinking of his sister, being violated by her own father.  He was strong and tough, he could deal, and as he got older, fight back.  But Viki?  She was just a little girl.  Like Starr.  Like Jewel.  He cleared his throat, "Yeah, well, I appreciate the offer."

She embraced him.  He smiled, and she said, "Congratulations on Jewel, Todd.  She's very beautiful."  He watched her make her way to her car and drive off.  He turned to Sister Rebecca Katherine's limo and walked to it.  Opening the door, he said, "Hey, Williams Part 2, to Mountainview, on the triple."

***

Todd and Blair held hands, walking toward Bitsy's room, 554, with Jewel in the baby sling on Todd's chest and Blair with the basket, just in case they needed it.  They walked in, and she was sitting, staring, at the desk by the window.  Her eyes were fixed ahead, as if going off beyond the lake into the woods.  Her expression was blank.  Todd frowned and looked away a moment, and Blair felt his hand tighten around hers.  She rubbed his thumb with hers, and stopped, waiting for him to take the lead into the room.

He turned to her.  "I can't stand seeing this."

"I know that.  It's so hard and sad.  You don't have to."  Blair said, softly.

He swallowed.  "I'm . . . that could have been me, Blair.  Heck, it was me."

"But then you understand her.  And that's what counts."

He walked slowly into her room, and Blair trailed behind.  Jewel was sleeping and still in the baby sling.  He approached his mother's chair, and looked down to her.  "Momma?  Jewel is here, and Blair."

Bitsy did not look, or turn.  She barely breathed.  Todd looked back behind him and caught eyes with his wife.  Blair walked to him, and touched his arm.  She said, "Do you want me to take the baby?"

He shook his head "no" and said, "I promised I'd be here, and here's where I am.  Momma . . ."  His voice died off a moment, and Blair stepped forward.

"Momma, Sam got his award today, at the Rotary Club Luncheon.  He was very excited about it.  He was beaming with pride.  Here's a photo of him receiving his plaque."  She held out her phone to her mother-in-law.

There was a picture, of Sam in his little suit, smiling ear to ear, and shaking hands with the Rotary Club President as he received his award.

Bitsy did not make eye contact or even move to see it.  Blair continued, "Whenever you're ready, the kids miss you, they would love to talk with you again, and have you draw for them."

Blair looked to Todd for a moment, and he was stoic, with water in his eyes.  She said, "Momma, we'll be back very soon.  You just tell Sister Rebecca Katherine if you want to see us, or Jewel, and we'll be right here," she leaned down and kissed the woman's cheek.  

Todd watched her.  When she was finished, he said, "Goodbye, Momma," and touched her hand.  He tried to take it in his, and it was limp and unresponsive.  He turned and walked out the door, leaving Blair standing with the basket, next to Bitsy's chair.

She followed him into the hallway, and he was on the bench, his head lowered, his elbows on his knees.  Jewel was still sleeping in her sling, much to Blair's surprise.   Blair said, "Todd, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Blair.  She needs to . . . she can't be with us, right now.  She's safe."

"Yes.  She's safe, My Love."

He stood, and without looking at his wife, he offered his hand to her.  She took it, and they descended the long staircase to the lobby, and after signing out, they went into the fresh air of the outdoor, leaving Mountainview behind.  Sister Rebecca Katherine met them on the slate path.  She said, "Todd, I didn't know how to tell ya that there's been no change."

"I know.  She . . . will come out of it.  When she can,"  Todd answered.

"I'm grateful ya gave me time today to spend with the boys.  They're a bundle of laughs.  That Little Raymond could still wear a body into the ground!"

Blair said, "Thank you for staying with them.  This was important for us to do together."

"Yeah," Todd suddenly seemed alert, "Thanks."

She went on her way to the tall, white, pristine doors of Mountainview and disappeared inside.  Todd said, "I'm getting my mother out of there, Blair.  Someday, whatever it takes.  She deserves more."

"This is what she deserves right now, Todd, and I know it's hard to understand.  What she deserves right now is the best of care, and you can't give that to her at home, no matter what."

He looked down, just in time to see Jewel peering up at him, and she cooed.  Blair watched as his hand, caring and strong, ran down the baby's head to her back, and rested there.  He and his daughter connected through their vision for a few moments, uninterrupted, and Blair just stood and watched.  The one thing that had never failed for Todd, in her eyes, was his love for his children.  He bent down as far as he could and kissed the top of the baby's head.  Then he said, "Let's go," and taking her hand, he lead her back to the limousine.

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