"Let me take her," Shaun said, getting to Blair first, and she handed the baby to him, leaving her open to run into Todd arms, sobbing.
"Oh my God, I thought. . . I was so . . . Todd, oh God," she cried.
"I'm all right. Don't cry, Blair, you know I can't stand to see you cry. Come on, the kids, Especially Sam."
Behind them, Sam had opened the glass doors and had Ray's hand. The two of them walked toward their parents, and Ray said, "Daddy? Is Teddy gone home?"
"Yes, Ray," Todd said, his arms still around Blair, and Sam ran into their legs and hugged them. He was still crying, and Todd, seeing his son's despair, picked him up and put him over his shoulder, while Jack picked up Ray and brought him into his father's line of sight.
Todd reached out and touched his youngest son's hair and kissed his cheek.
Sam, who couldn't stop crying, was lying over Todd's shoulder, still making mewling noises as he cried. "I don't want you to die, Dad. Ever."
"Sam, Buddy, I don't want you to, either. I won't leave you, Pal. I won't leave you."
Blair, still crying, looked at Jack, who was holding Ray. He said to her, "He totally saved us. The mother bear noticed us after Ray called out to her. Dad put us behind him and told us to run, and he called her the other way and ran. She chased him, that was the last thing I saw. That's when I came up here to get Shaun." Jack was still out of breath, and Ray, now realizing everyone was upset, and seeing his mothers and brothers crying, put his head on Jack's shoulder, and his bottom lip came out past the top one. He started to cry, silently.
Shaun said, "Sorry to interrupt all this, but my God, this little angel is the sweetest baby." She had calmed down and cried herself into a nap. Her hand was on her cheek, open-fingered.
"Mixie died," Sam said, crying harder.
Blair looked at Todd, and he had an expression that confirmed it for her. He patted his son's back, and said, "Sam, Mixie saved your Old Dad, you know."
He perked up off Todd's shoulder and said, "Really? Did he?"
"Yes. He did. I was in the tree, because the mommy bear was afraid I would hurt her babies. So I tried to tell her, Mommy, don't worry, I won't hurt your babies, I didn't want you to hurt mine either. Well, she doesn't speak human, so she got upset. She was kind of coming up my tree to get me, when . . ."
"You were in a tree?" Jack said.
"Uh, yeah, duh, don't you know you have to climb trees to get away from bears?"
Sam said, "No, not black bears. They climb, too."
Todd looked at Blair, and he said, "Well, what do you want? I grew up in Chicago."
"What happened next?" Sam said, wiping his nose on his sleeve, almost forgetting his fears and sadness.
"I growled at the bear, because I figured maybe I could show her who's boss."
"Todd?" Blair said, now losing patience.
"Yeah, well, that's what I did. Anyway, it didn't work, and she got more pissed. That's when Mixie went to the other tree, and barked at her babies, and the mom bear went off after him into the woods. So he distracted her from getting up close and personal with me."
"Does that mean he died?" Sam asked, cautiously.
"It might, Sam, I'm sorry." Todd said, and the little boy put his head back down and sobbed more.
Blair took Ray and hugged him. "You okay, Little Man?"
He shook his head, and said, "Teddy go home."
"Yes, the Teddy went home. Everything's okay," she said, stroking his hair. It was the same color as Todd's and almost the same length and texture. She realized how beautiful her little boy was, and how much he resembled his father. And for a moment, she flashed on Todd being that same age, being brutalized, and she again felt a wave of nausea. She stopped, catching herself and leaning slightly forward with Ray in her arms, as Jack stepped in and took him back.
Blair bent at the waist and pulled herself together. She got the nausea waves under control and swallowed back bile. Todd put a hand on her back, and said, "Babe, you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go in the house, all right? If you want lunch it's there, but I think I need to rest. I just feel . . ." and she went down.
"Shit!" Jack said, looking back, and Todd handed off Sam to Perzno and went to the ground beside her.
"Hey, Mommy, come on," he said, gently patting her cheek.
She opened her eyes. "I just think I stood up too fast," she said.
"An old bear can't get me."
"I thought we were losing you, Todd," she said, still shaking.
He helped her up to her feet, and when she still struggled, he picked her up like a bride and carried her to the house.
Sam was inconsolable, as Jack and Todd ate lunch. Shaun had joined them. Blair couldn't eat; her stomach was still in knots from the events of the day. Sam pushed his food around on his plate, and was still breathing in small catches from his crying. He said, "Dad?"
"Yeah, Buddy?"
"Are you going to find Mixie? So we can bury him?"
Everyone fell silent. Todd wasn't sure how to answer him, and Blair's eyes were filled with tears. She stood up, and took Jewel. "I'm going to nurse, I'll be back," she said, climbing the stairs.
Todd said, "I'll go look for Mixie when we're done eating, okay?"
"Yeah," Sam said. "Dad, can I go up to my room, I don't feel so good?"
"I'll take you," Jack said, "I don't feel so good either, and we can feel crappy together, Runty."
"Okay," Sam said, and got up. His motions were slow, and Jack grabbed him under the arms, and put him up onto his shoulders.
Sam said, "Jack, can I get down?"
"Sure, Puny, but you like that."
"No, I don't like that today. Can we just walk up?"
Jack looked at his little brother, and said, "Sure, Squirt."
They vanished into the foyer, and Todd and Shaun could hear their feet on the staircase.
Shaun said, "That little fellow is really sensitive."
"He's had a rough day," Todd said, taking his plate, and offering to take Shaun's. Shaun handed his to Todd after getting the last morsel off it.
"Should we go look for the dog?"
"I guess we should, but bring that damn gun, will you?" Todd said. "I guess there are no more treks into those woods for us."
"I'd say. What made you go in that far, anyway?"
"Don't ask me, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't. What a father, huh? Bringing my kids into that kind of danger?"
"You grew up in Chicago, isn't that what I heard? With a total bastard for a father, and you're questioning this? You guys have been hiking every day this week, and even before. And what about facing that bear alone and sending your kids to safety? Give it a rest, will you?"
"I don't feel so great right now. Just saying. Blair's a mess, it's because of me. Sam's destroyed."
"What mess would she be if those kids were mauled by that bear? You saved them, and let's move on." He got up.
Todd followed, Shaun had the gun ready, and they went into the yard. They searched for over an hour, calling to the dog, and did not get a return. Finally, when they approached the clearing where the black pines were, that Sam had spotted for his pine cone collection, Todd stopped and looked right. "There's my tree," he said, half smiling. There were bear claw marks half way up the trunk.
Shaun said, "Geesh, she was pretty close to getting to you."
"Well, maybe, but this is the place. Mixie was at the base of that tree, right there." He pointed.
They walked toward the tree and forward, still calling for the dog. After a while, Shaun said, "Look."
There were some branches and forest floor spotted with blood. Todd said, "God. I guess we got our answer."
"Maybe," Shaun said, continuing on.
After following the blood trail, they lost track because it seemed to cease and vanish. There was a large area where the underbrush was tousled and disheveled, and they stopped. "What do I tell my son?" Todd asked.
"I don't know, but let's turn back. Dogs have excellent hearing, he would have heard you calling him by now and come running. You'll think of a way to explain this to Sam. I just don't want us to get ourselves into anything else out here. Not the greatest place to be, especially for you. I hate to mention it, but you look kind of wrecked."
"Well, it wasn't a piece of cake with Yogi at the heels of my feet," he said.
"Yogi's a boy," Shaun reminded.
"Right," he said, and they turned back toward home.
When they had almost reached the house, Todd turned to Shaun and said, "Thanks, a lot, for everything you did for me and my family today," and he extended his hand.
The bigger man took it and shook it with a firm grip. "Your kids were like my kids at one point. I respect you, and what you've been through, and that's enough for me. Besides, I didn't really do much. I just did what I do, you know."
"Well, I appreciate what you do," he said, walking off toward the house.
Shaun watched him go, and then called after him. "Hey, Todd?"
"Yeah," he called back, not turning around.
"You got guts. You saved those kids, put them first."
"Yeah, but there's a good reason for that," he said. "I can't live without 'em."
Shaun stood in the yard for a while, watching Todd trudge his way to the door, and realized just then that his fine silk shirt was torn open in places, and in one spot, showed several faded scars on his back. He saw him go to the glass doors, and watched Ray waiting for him. Todd bent to pick the child up, and the small boy went into his father's arms immediately. Todd put him over his shoulder, and comforted him. "He probably never got that in his life," he heard himself say. "You amaze me, Todd Manning, you really do."
***
"I can't forget Sam's face when I came back without Mixie," Todd said. He was in his flannel pajama pants and matching henley t-shirt. The top was a faint green that brought out the green in his eyes. Blair watched him puttering around the room, readying their suite for bed.
He was poking in the fire, and then came to Blair and sat, facing her. She had Jewel in her arms, and was just wiping her little mouth from a recent spit-up incident. "She overate, I think."
"Well, she's growing nice and strong. Doctors say everything's good. Mommy's good. Life's good."
"Well, I'm glad. I'm particularly glad that you can climb trees."
"Me too," he said, gently kissing her.
He swung his feet over and put his hands behind his head. "I can't shake this feeling that Sam's so devastated. He made himself sick crying."
"I know. He does that, when he's really upset."
"He puked a while. He can't hold down any food. The poor little guy."
"Jack promised to bunk with him," she said.
"That might help a little," he said. "Should I set the tent back up?"
"Maybe later. Ask them if they want it."
"I just might."
"Okay, that sounds good."
Things were quiet for a few minutes, and she was resting her head back on the pillow. "I can't wait to get back to normal. Maybe as soon as Jewel is a little bigger and her feeding levels off."
"You will, maybe you'll even be able to come back to work. After all, we have a nursery at The Sun. Why not use it?"
"That's true," she agreed. She closed her eyes.
She was startled when he jumped up. "I just can't," he said, putting his coat back on. "It's night, maybe he'll hear me and come home now."
"Todd, it's dark. I don't want you in the woods."
"Blair, I don't want me in the woods. I just want to try, from the yard, call him and see if he will come."
"Promise you won't go back into the woods, then?"
"I promise," he said, kissing her head, and leaning over and kissing Jewel's as well. He scurried down the stairs and jumped to the landing, and then went to the doors that lead out to the yard. He snapped on the stadium lighting, which caught Blair's attention and that of the boys. Within minutes, Jack and Sam, with Ray in tow, were in the master bedroom, looking out the glass wall and watching their father.
Jack said, "What is he doing?"
"He wanted to try for Mixie one more time." Blair said.
"I think Mixie died, Mom." Sam said. "Dad said he probably did. I'm glad he saved Dad, but I miss him," he said, looking down.
"Now, wait, Runty. Don't start blubbering again, okay?" Jack said, with a kind tone.
"I won't," Sam said, choking back tears.
They watched, and Jack said, "Can we open the door a little, Mom?"
"Sure, it's not that cold out," she said, and Jack opened the door so they could hear the echo of Todd's voice carrying.
"He's calling Mixie," Sam said.
"Mitty! Mitty!" Ray copied after his father.
They saw Todd looking around and walking back and forth in the yard, and then watched as he came to a complete and sudden stop. Jack said, "What the heck?"
Todd made his way toward the house, under the balcony, until he was standing near the snow pile that Sam had once jumped into. He stood there, listening in the dark, and called Mixie's name again. Blair said, "Let's go out on the balcony and see what he's doing, go get your coats."
The boys complied, and she carted Ray to his room to grab his jacket.
All bundled up, everyone but Jewel stepped out on the balcony and watched. Todd looked up and said, "Shhh. Seriously."
They all got quiet, and he walked closer to the house. Finally, he said, "Oh boy, guess who found a hiding place in the snow pile?"
"Mixie!" Sam called out and ran down the stairs. Jack followed, and Blair took Ray back inside. Ray was chanting, "Mitty, Mitty, Mitty! Mitty home!"
Sure enough, the boys ran to the kitchen sliders in time to see Todd, carrying a whining Mixie toward the house.
"Oh, he's hurt!" Sam said.
"At least he's not dead, Squirt." Jack added.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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