Chasing the Monsters: 39

After settling Sam and his mother in for the night, he tumbled into bed, waking Blair.  He felt her move in the darkness, and fling a sleepy arm over his middle.  "Are you awake?"  Blair whispered to her husband.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes.

"It's like five a.m."

"Okay."

"I forgot to tell you something important."

He turned toward her, and kissed her gently.  "Okay, I'm listening."

"You just ran out so fast with Sam, I just got blindsided.  I should have told you last night."

"It's something not so good, I can tell.  Otherwise, you would have been telling me before you sang me to sleep."

"I . . . guess you're right.  But it's important, especially after last night."

"Is this about Sam?"

"No, it's not."

"Momma, then."

"Yes."

"You should have seen her with him.  She . . . knew just what to do."

"She loves him.  And she's well.  When you were her little boy, she wasn't well, Todd."

He grimaced, visibly.  She petted his cheek.  He said, "I know.  I don't hold her to blame for that."

"I know you don't."

"She does.  She holds herself responsible for everything wrong in my life."

"Then she has nothing bad left to be responsible for.  It's all behind."  He nodded.  She said, "John came by yesterday."

"He made the moves on my wife?"  he said, feigning anger.

"No.  He didn't, stop that.  He . . . had something to tell me.  I just can't keep it from you."

He sighed.  "Okay."

"When Ray was taken by Peter,"  she noticed his jaw clench.  "It's all right, My Love, Ray's safe now, we're okay.  Your mother saw to it that Peter can't hurt anyone."

"When Ray was taken by Peter what?  John knows something?  Something happened to my boy?"

"No, no, no, Todd, not that.  No.  John went to see Mitch to get the address of the compound.  Remember, we told him that's where we thought Peter was?"

"Yeah, I remember.  He didn't hurt Little Ray, Blair, that's not what this is about, right?"

"No, Todd.  It's not about that.  I promise."  She took a breath and ran her hand through his hair.  "John wanted that address.  He thought he was saving our son.  He told Mitch that he would do something for him if he gave the address."

Todd didn't respond, he just listened.  His eyes searched hers for a hint of what it might be.  Then she said, "Mitch wanted to . . . see your mother."

"What?"

"Mitch wanted to see Bitsy, and John told him that he would do it.  Of course, he had no intent, but now he's in some trouble over it."

"I've been in jail, Blair, I know what this means."

"He just wanted to tell me about it.  And, we have a decision to make."

"What decision?  The answer's no.  No."

"She's a grown woman, Todd.  She . . ."

"No," he said, throwing back the covers and getting out of the bed.  He went into the sitting area and paced, and she noticed his hands, tight, at his sides.  "she's not seeing him."

"Todd," Blair said, getting up and walking toward him.

"You didn't tell John she would."

"No, of course not.  It's not my choice, and Todd, it's not yours either."

"It is my choice!" he bellowed, and she jumped back, startled.  He caught himself.  "I didn't mean to scare you.  I didn't mean to yell, I just . . ."

"Calm down, please,"  she said, and sat on the sofa.

He stood in front of her, his taut stomach and chest evident, his hands at his sides, tight and angry.  "I can't.  He almost . . . killed our children, and you."

"He did more than that, Todd.  I know, I know what you're feeling."

"He raped my sister.  Kidnapped you.  Threatened my family.  He buried me . . . alive."

"Stop, My Love, please?  This isn't what I hoped to accomplish in telling you.  I just couldn't keep something from you, I can't.  Not anymore.  You know that."

"I'm not mad at you for telling me, Blair,"  he paced wildly, "I'm not.  I'm fucking pissed that John McBain promised away something he had no right promising!"  His voice had escalated again.

She yelled back, "To save our son!  He thought he was saving OUR BABY."

Without warning, he went to the glass door and pulled it open, rushing out onto the balcony, shirtless, hugging his arms in the crisp air.  She went after him and then realized he needed to be alone with it, and hung back.  She turned around sharply, and standing in the open doorway was Bitsy.  

"Blair?  I heard yelling?"

"Momma, you're awake?"  Blair said.  "Not the greatest welcome, I suppose."

"Nonsense, I just heard yelling.  I am a light sleeper."  She tried to look past Blair.  "Why is Todd outside, undressed?"

"He needed a moment, Momma.  He just needed to be outside for a minute."

"He's angry, Blair.  I can see it.  I don't like him out there, up this high.  Is he all right?"

"He's fine, Momma.  He is, believe me."

She didn't seem to want to take Blair's word as an answer, and said, "I heard some of it.  It's . . . about me, isn't it?"

Blair wasn't sure what to do, and where to tread, so she pulled open the glass door and said, "Todd, your mother is here, we woke her.  Todd?"

He turned toward her, seeing Bitsy looking out from inside the master bedroom.  Blair's expression said urgency to him.  He walked toward her, and crossing the threshold into the room, he grabbed her to him, and whispered, "I lost it, I'm sorry."

Her hand went to his back, and she closed her eyes and nuzzled into his neck.  Bitsy watched, her eyes glistening with tears, and started to go.  "I don't belong here, right now," she said.

"Momma, wait, please?"  Todd said.  "This isn't about you, or your fault."

She stood, her face showing utter disbelief.  "Okay, Todd."

"No, Momma, Todd's right, it's not your fault.  This is something . . . that's upsetting him.  It does involve you, but it's nothing you've done."

"Then why won't either of you tell me?"  she pleaded.

Todd looked at Blair and realized it was his responsibility.  He said, "Momma, someone . . . John McBain, the policeman, he made a deal, last year, with Mitch Laurence, and Blair and I were just discussing it."

"A deal?  What kind of deal?" she said, walking absently toward the sofa to sit down.  Todd paced, grabbed a t-shirt and threw it on, and Blair sat beside Bitsy, and took her hand.

Todd continued, "A deal to save our baby.  He thought he had to do whatever it took.  But I don't want you to worry about it.  I don't want you to spend any time worried about it, because he made that deal without consulting you, and he shouldn't have, and he has to deal with the outcome."

"What is the deal, Todd?"  she repeated.

"He promised Mitch that he would bring you there to see him.  And there's no way that's happening."  Todd said, finally stopping and standing still.

The room fell silent.  Both Blair and Todd looked at Bitsy, and Blair suddenly grasped understanding.  

She wants to see him.

Todd must have figured the same thing because he said, "No way in Hell."

Bitsy looked at her hands, and then back to her son.  "Todd.  I . . . I want to."

"You're kidding me, right?" he said, his hands falling to his sides.  

Blair instinctively got up and walked to him, "Todd, let's talk about all this later, when Momma has a chance to think it over."

He pulled away from her.  "No, Blair.  Momma, you're just saying that, right?  You want to make things easy for John, or for us?  You don't have to do that . . ."

"No, Todd."  She interrupted him.  "I want to see him."

Todd just turned from the two women, and grabbing a jacket, raced out of the room and down the staircase.  They heard the sliders whoosh open and closed.  

Bitsy looked at Blair.  "I . . . made him angry."

"He's just . . . Momma, he and Mitch are long-standing enemies.  Todd can't reconcile it."

She just blinked at her daughter-in-law, and said, "I need to see Mitch.  I . . . can't stop thinking of him, Blair."

Blair felt an awkward embarrassment for her mother-in-law.  "It's all right, Momma.  You have to make your own decision," Blair said, hugging her, and then standing, "but right now, I have to go after my man.  He needs me," she said, grabbing a sweater and pulling it over her night clothes.  "I'll be back, Momma.  Don't worry, he's just blowing off steam," she said, walking briskly to the bedroom door and out after her husband.  "Keep watch on the kids."

Bitsy, tears in her eyes, fell back against the cushions. There was barely light outside, and she looked to the ceiling and the skylight, and saw the deep blue of the sky starting to lighten to denim color.  She let her tears spill over, and closed her eyes.

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