Memories Unlocked #11

For the first time in a long time, Todd felt almost normal. “Thanks, Doc.  I’ve got to tell you, I really needed this after this morning.”

Miguela glanced over at him. “Why?  What happened?”

Todd cleared his throat. “It’s nothing.  Wow, you weren’t kidding.  I didn’t realize Guam was so populated.”  He looked around at the many stores and people walking the streets.  “So how far is your apartment from the hospital?  Does Guam have buses?”

She laughed.  “The island of Guam has several large cities, and we’re slowly moving into the 21st century.  In answer to your question, there is a bus service, such as it is, but it’s old and very outdated.  Look there goes one now.”

A big lumbering bus packed to the top with people of all shapes and sizes moved past them.  People were even riding on the top.  “Whoa, not something you would see in the States. It looks like it would be an adventure every day.”  Todd watched as the bus careened around a corner and noticed how the passengers clung to the top, even leaning the opposite way on the bus to keep it from going over.  "Umm, yeah.  Not so sure that's for me.  I'd like to live a little longer. I'll have to get used to taking cabs to the hospital."

"Todd, the hospital isn't kicking you out." Miguela parked the car outside the pizza establishment and turned to face him.

"I know, but if I stay much longer I'm going to go stir crazy.  It's bad enough I'm confined to a wheelchair.  I need space, some room to breathe."

“Well, for now, let’s eat.  Do you want to go in and sit out of this heat?”

“The heat is not that bad. You know, if you don’t mind, why don’t we take advantage of the table under that tree?” Todd pointed to the area where outdoor seating was available.  He wasn’t quite ready to mix with the general public just yet.  The hospital was a safe place.  If he got into trouble someone was always there to help him out.  The children and their families felt comfortable, but strangers were different.  He wasn’t yet ready for the looks of curiosity and pity.  That was the last thing he wanted.

Miguela moved the car closer to the outdoor tables and then got the wheelchair out of the trunk.  She held it still as Todd transferred from the car to it and then she rolled him to a table. “Okay, what do you want on that pizza?”

“Plenty of meat.  I’m up to here with fish.” Todd illustrated putting his hand under his chin. “And lots of cheese.”

“You’ve got it, I’ll be back shortly.”

Todd leaned forward on the table and watched the doctor walk away from him.  She was nice company and he had to wonder why none of the single guys in the hospital hadn’t tried to get something going with her.  She had mentioned a dead husband but she didn’t strike him as the type who didn’t move on.  In fact, the opposite was true. She struck him as one who knew what she wanted but hadn’t found him yet. “That’s it, you’re just waiting for the right guy.” Having solved that question in his mind he looked around and took in the sounds and the smells.  It felt familiar. he leaned back and just breathed it in.   “That’s it, it feels like home.”  

“What feels like home?” asked Miguela coming toward him.

“All of this, the noise, the smells.  I think I grew up in a city.”

Miguela arrived at the table holding two frosty glasses with a dark frothy beverage inside.  “That’s great.  Here, I figured you would want something cold to drink with this heat.” She placed a glass down in front of him and took a sip of hers.

”You read my mind.  I didn’t realize how warm it was today.” He picked it up and took a big gulp and almost choked when he realized it was beer. Coughing, he set the glass down carefully.  He didn’t want to spill a drop. It seemed like forever since he had a beer.  “You should have warned me.  God, that’s good!  Thank you, I thought it was some kind of rootbeer or coke.” He took another drink, this time swishing it in his mouth before swallowing.  He wanted to savor every bit of it.

“I thought you would like it.  I can’t have pizza without beer, thanks to my husband.  He loved dark beer and I guess I acquired a taste for it as long as there was hot pizza around.  Ours should be up by now, I’ll be right back.”  A few minutes later she brought out the pizza and a small pitcher of beer giving them both a refill.  Todd’s stomach growled so loud at the sight of the pie, they both laughed and dug in.

Shortly after eating they headed for the apartment complex.  Todd relaxed back in the seat.  “Thanks again.  I appreciate all this trouble you’re taking, but I’ve got to wonder why?  I thought patient/doctor friendships were frowned on.”

Miguela glanced at him. “Relationships yes, but not friendships.  Some patients do fall for their doctors and things can get complicated.” She paused and blushed. “Oh dear, I hope you didn’t think I’m doing this because I’m trying to start….,” Miguela suddenly wanted to sink into her seat. She was just making things worse.  

“Because you’re trying to start something with me? Don’t worry Doc, it never crossed my mind.” Todd stared straight ahead. “It’s not like I’m such a catch right now.  Hell, I’m moody on a good day. You wouldn’t want to see me on a bad day.”

“Don’t do that.  You’re putting yourself down because of your condition and you shouldn’t.  You asked why I was helping you and my reasons are two-fold.  One: As your doctor, I think you are right to want to get on with your life.  You’ve come alive being out here away from the hospital this afternoon.  It’s done you a world of good.  Two: I do like you.  I find you easy to talk to.  I’ve told you more about my husband the last two times we’ve talked then I have told anyone else.  I realized I need a friend and I think you do too, and friends help each other so that is my other reason.”  She pulled up at a stoplight and met Todd’s eyes. “What do you say?  Friends?”  she held out her hand.

Todd searched her face.  It was clear she meant everything she had just said.  He cleared his throat and reached for her hand.  “Friends.”

She smiled at him and started the car moving again. “Okay friend, ahead on your right is my apartment building.  I know it’s not much to look at on the outside, but inside, the apartments are quite nice.”

Todd looked at the building.  She was right, it wasn’t the most appealing exterior. “God, it looks like something leftover from World War Two.”

She laughed, “Well you’re pretty sharp, it used to be a munitions factory, but after the war, it was bought by a developer and turned into the apartment building it is today. He gutted the place but left the concrete exterior walls in all the apartments.  My husband fell in love with the history of the place.”  She turned onto a driveway that took her into the parking garage that occupied half of the ground level leaving the rest of the ground level for apartments. 

**** 

Sam walked up to the nurse in the Children’s Ward, “Excuse me, I know this is a strange question but do you think you could look at a picture for me?  I was in here yesterday and one of your nurses told me this man worked here.  Is that true?”  She handed the picture of Todd with the woman to the nurse.

“Why yes, that’s Mr. Drake.”  The nurse started to hand the picture back.

“Thank you.  Would you happen to know who he’s with?” Sam asked quickly.

“That would be Dr. Sanchez.  She’s on staff here.  I think they left a little earlier, I’m sure they’ll be back soon.  If you wait you should be able to talk to them.”

“Thank you again.” Sam took her picture and looked at her watch.  She realized she wouldn’t be able to wait around. Blair would be arriving and she needed to meet Sawyer, but, at least, she had gotten more on the woman.   As she walked back into the lobby, she decided to check one thing.  She went up to the information desk, a different volunteer was sitting there.  “Pardon me, can you direct me to Dr. Sanchez’s office?” Getting the information, she went down the hallway to the office.  The door was closed.  It appeared the nurse was right.  The doctor wasn’t in. “So Todd, your new friend is a doctor.  I’ve got to say, you never struck me as someone who liked or even tolerated the mainstream type.  Are you trying something new?   I don’t think Blair is going to be too happy when she finds you.”  She turned and left the hospital, flagged down a cab and headed to the airport.

****

Todd had an uneasy feeling as Miguela pushed him towards a gate that led into the building.  She pushed him through and he saw the long hallway in front of him.  He jumped as the metal gate clanged shut behind them.   The long hall was all concrete and Todd felt a chill go down his back.  A strange sense of deja vu washed over him, he closed his eyes and he suddenly flashed on a memory of walking down a hallway very similar that led to a locked solitary room.  He gasped as the realization hit him.  He had been in prison.

Miguela looked down at the sound. “Todd, are you okay?”

“What? Oh sorry. I was thinking of something when the gate shut, I guess it startled me.” He looked down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap and tried to forget the image of cell doors closing.  Suddenly the hallway seemed unbearably long and he felt like the walls were closing in on him.   He breathed a deep sigh of relief when they arrived at the doorway to the main building and entered the carpeted area outside the manager’s office.  Todd tried to get interested in looking at the apartment as Miguela pushed him down another hallway, after getting the key from the landlord.  Unfortunately, all he could think about was the fact that at some point in his life he had spent time behind bars.

Miguela opened the apartment door and looked at Todd.  He had been preoccupied since they had entered the building.  “Todd, are you sure you’re ready for this?  Maybe you’re pushing yourself to get out of the hospital.”  He didn’t answer her and she became a little concerned. “Todd, is something wrong?”

Todd was a million miles away.  He was remembering the first day with the puppets and his brief memory of sitting on a hospital bed with the gray wolf.  He felt a little sick now as he realized his suspicions that day had been right.  He had done something bad.  God if I’ve been to prison, I shouldn’t be around the kids.  I’ve got to think of a good excuse to leave the hospital and the job.   He suddenly felt a touch on his shoulder and realized Miguela was trying to get his attention.  “What?  I guess I was daydreaming.  Did you ask me something?”

“I asked if something was bothering you?  Are you having second thoughts about an apartment?  I know you weren’t too impressed with the outside of this building, if this isn’t what you’re looking for I’ll understand.  Do you want to see the apartment?"

Once again, Todd felt that feeling of everything closing in on him.  It was bringing up feelings that disturbed him.  “Let’s look at the apartment. I need to get out of this hallway.”  He began to roll through the doorway.

Miguela moved out of his way and then followed him into the place. “Todd, what is going on?”

Todd turned the wheelchair to face her. “What do you mean?”

“You been very quiet since we arrived here and now you make that cryptic statement about the hallway.  Do you want to talk?” She watched as he turned away from her and rolled into the living area.

Todd didn’t know how to tell Dr.Sanchez what he had just figured out.  He was having a hard enough time just getting used to the idea and the very real possibility that it was true. “It’s nothing. What’s the kitchen look like?”  He rolled away from Miguela and into the small kitchen. 

Stopping there and seeing the high counter, he was again reminded of his condition. “Not exactly handicapped friendly. Is it?” He said bitterly, swung his chair around and moved past Miguela, looking for the bathroom.  There another disappointment awaited him.  There was a bathtub.  He knew he could work around it, but it was just something else bringing his mood further down. 

He looked at his image in the mirror.  Maybe I’m some felon who was trying to escape capture.  Is that how I ended up on the beach? Then he remembered the dream that told him he was a rapist.  Is that it?  Did I do time for rape?  I don’t know what to do. Staring at his reflection, the wheelchair was very evident. It only served as another reminder. It looks like fate decided to make sure you’d never hurt another person that way, Todd.  You can’t even get it up, remember.  He turned away from the mirror and rolled back out into the hallway.  He noticed Miguela watching him and could sense her concern.  Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tried to calm the chaotic thoughts racing through his head.  Apologize, you jerk! She’s got no idea why your mood changed. 

“Dr. Sanchez,...Miguela, I... I’m sorry.  You have to be wondering what happened since lunch to suddenly make me so testy.  Believe me, it has nothing to do with you.”  He looked around the room.  “Look, I appreciate the effort you took, bringing me here and all, but this isn’t going to work for me.”

“It’s fine, Todd.  I can see we’ll need to do some more intensive searching because of your situation.” Miguela was trying to tread warily.  She had a feeling the handicap problem wasn’t the main reason for Todd’s mood change but she didn’t want to push when it was obvious he wasn’t going to talk about it. “I’ll explain to the Super and tell him it won’t work.  We probably should get back to the hospital.  I’ve got a surgery scheduled for later this afternoon and I’m sure the children will be looking for you.” She started to walk behind him to once again push him but he stopped her.

Todd held onto her lower arm, “Listen, you go back.  I’ll get a cab.  I need to have some time to myself.  I’m not completely helpless.  This is something I’ll have to do on my own sooner or later.”

For a moment, Miguela considered protesting, but one look at his face and the tone of his voice told her she would get nowhere. “That’s fine Todd.  I’ll tell the children you’re taking the afternoon off because of doctor’s orders.  They’ll understand.”

Todd nodded his thanks and watched Miguela leave.

****

Blair stepped out of the plane holding Jack and carefully made her way down the stairs to the tarmac.  Jack was being fussy and she struggled to calm him down as she looked around for Sam Vance.  Behind her, she heard Heddy calling to Starr.

“Ms. Starr, please don’t run off.  Your mother told you to stay with me.”

Blair stopped up short and looked around just in time for Starr to barrel into her.  She also saw Heddy toting both the baby bag and Starr’s carry-on luggage as she moved slowly down the steps from the airplane.  “Starr Manning, you go get your bag from Heddy.  Shame on you.  She’s just as anxious to get on the ground as you.  You apologize, too.  I told you I don’t want you to treat her that way.”

Starr looked angrily at mother but reluctantly turned around and walked back to Heddy who had now made it to the ground. “Here, Heddy, I’ll take my bag, thank you for offering to bring it down for me.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean leave you behind, I just want to see my daddy.”  Starr looked contrite and her lower lip wobbled.  She looked through her lashes to see if Heddy was taken in by her acting.

Heddy looked at the little girl and walked to her and patted her head. “It’s alright Ms. Starr,  I understand. You go walk with your Mama, I’ve got everything under control now.”

Blair shook her head as she watched her daughter come towards her with a smile on her face.  Once again Starr had used her wiles to outsmart Heddy.  Blair held out her hand and Starr took it.  

Starr looked around anxiously, she couldn’t see anyone she knew. “Mommy, is Daddy going to meet us?”

Blair frowned. “No, sweet girl, but I hope we get to see him soon.”  She squeezed Starr’s hand and adjusted Jack on her hip while she searched for Sam Vance.  She spotted her as they entered the terminal.  She moved quickly to greet her.  “Sam, have you seen him today?  Can I go to him?”

Sam glanced over to Sawyer and then back to Blair.  “I haven’t seen him today, Blair.  Let’s get you settled at the hotel and then we can talk.  By the way, this is James Sawyer, the man who’s been flying me all over the Pacific.”

Nodding at Sawyer to acknowledge him, Blair's smile was only half-hearted as she tried to hide her early disappointment at Sam's words, and she inadvertently squeezed Starr’s hand a little too hard.

“Ouch, Mommy!” Starr tugged her hand free. She looked at the lady who had just met them. She stared at her and frowned. “Why can’t we see Daddy now?  I want to see him.  Mommy, you said we were coming to get Daddy.”

Blair turned to her daughter and struggled to contain Jack, who was squirming from also being held too tightly. “We are Honey, but Sam is right. It’s been a long flight.  We’ll go to the hotel and get Jack down for his nap and it will give me a chance to find out everything I can about Daddy.”

Starr pouted and walked back to Heddy. She grabbed her bag and followed her mother and the strange lady to their next stop.  At customs, she took her doll Ichabod from the customs agent and hugged her.  She whispered to her doll as she walked to the car.  “Mommy doesn’t understand, Ichabod.  Daddy needs us to find him now.  I just know it.  I’ve got to find a way to go look for him myself.”  She smiled and began plotting her next move.

A short while later Starr snuck out of her room and moved into the hallway to listen to the conversation her mother and the other lady were having.

“Okay, Sam, spill.  Why can’t I see Todd today?  You said you found him at the hospital here in the city.  You also said he wasn’t a patient.  What’s going on?” Blair moved across the room to confront Sam.  “We’re here at the hotel.  I know there’s something you’re not telling me. Skip the small talk.  What is Todd doing here?”

“Blair take a seat.  The connection was bad or I would have told you more over the phone.  I found Todd, that’s true.  He’s not a patient at the hospital, he’s working there.” Sam moved to join Blair on the couch.  She reached into her purse and pulled out the first picture. “I took this a couple of days ago at the hospital.  It is him, right?”

Blair took the picture and her heart fluttered. It was Todd.  His hair was a little longer but the scar and his features were burned into her memory. “I don’t understand.  Why is Todd working at a hospital?  What could he possibly do there? The only thing he ever did was work as a janitor when he was pardoned.  This doesn’t make sense.” She looked at Sam and saw the private detective glancing at the pilot she had met earlier.  “Sam, I’ll ask again. What’s going on?”

Sam reached into her purse again.  “It seems Todd is working on the Children’s Ward.  I’m not sure exactly what he does there, but there’s more going on.  Blair, he wasn’t alone when I found him.” Her eyes met Sawyer’s and he nodded at her.  She pulled the second picture out and handed it to her client.  “She’s a doctor on staff at the hospital.  Her name is Miguela Sanchez.”

Blair felt like she had just been kicked in the gut.  It couldn’t be.  She had spent all this time looking for him, and he was here messing around with another woman. With a trembling hand, she took the second picture from Sam.  The woman was beautiful and the picture showed her hand on Todd’s leg.  In the picture, Todd was smiling at the woman and Blair felt jealous.  He was married to her.  What right did he have flirting with another woman?  Blair stopped herself, suddenly remembering her last fight with Todd.  She had told him it was over.  That she was taking the kids and getting a divorce.  You’re a fool, Blair. It doesn’t matter that Tea said he was headed home to you.  He must have changed his mind. NO! I don’t believe it, there has to be another explanation.  Blair looked at Sam.  “Did you talk to the doctor?  Maybe there’s nothing going on here.”

“I didn’t have a chance.  I went to the hospital, to get more information before coming to get you but according to a nurse on staff, Todd and Dr. Sanchez went to lunch together shortly before I got there.  I’m sorry Blair.  What else can I do for you?”

In the hallway, Starr was holding her hand over her mouth. She had almost screamed out when she had heard the lady tell her mother, that her daddy was with another woman.  Daddy wouldn’t do that.  Starr crept to the door leading out of the suite and rushed to the elevator.  She had to get to that hospital and find her daddy.  He would tell her the truth.

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