Chasing the Monsters: 49

Todd started to pick up the things he'd knocked onto the floor.  "Nothing, I was . . . just mad."

"God," she said, bending down to help him, "you sure were.  Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  I'm just dealing with everything."

"I know.  It better not be those tapes."  She looked around.  "Why is Sam's laptop in here?"

"Oh, that?  Just looking through it."

"Anything?"

"Nothing yet but I'll find out Blair," he said, and they both met up alongside the desk, putting handfuls of things back.  "You trust me, right?"

"Yes, I trust you."

"Okay, then let me handle it for now.  I promise when I have something substantial, I'll share."

"Okay," she said, looking down at the laptop, and then she said, "Don't let anything happen to him."

"I won't.  I promise.  He'll be all right.  He has you, and me," he said, stacking more things back on the desk.  

She said, "Are you working home today?"

He finally sat back down.  "Yeah.  I guess I will."

"That's good.  I like when you're around," she said, walking out, and called back, "I love you."

He looked at Sam's laptop again and shoved it aside.  

Instead, he set off with the intent to work and brought up the list of Chicago Police Department staff from 1976.

***

Timothy thought over the events of the day.  His mind, without his say-so resting most often on his interaction with Jack Ribsky.  He knew what the man was dealing with; he'd done it himself.  At the same time, he could not help but think thoughts of Erin, her death in front of his eyes, and her absence from his life.  He'd caught his like for the bottle during those times, when nights were so long, and living without her was unbearable.

"The drink was y'ar only friend, then," he said aloud, knowing that it still called to him, on occasion, and how hard he fought to keep it at bay.  He pushed the idea out of his head and went on to something else.

The promise he had made to this young man that had brought meaning into his life, was something that was high on his list of priorities.  Many times, when he felt the need to take a drink, he thought of the promise that he made and knew he had to follow through.  So many pledges to Todd had been broken in his life; he was not about to be part of it.  When they had been in Ireland, after Todd forgave him for lying about Carlo's death, paying the cost of his hospital bills, Timothy'd finally found a reason to be sober.  Here was this troubled man, sometimes so like a boy, who had been fatherless most of his life, and was asking, needing, that in his world.

Now, it was bigger than even that, for he had grandchildren, and a beautiful daughter-in-law: even one great-grandchild, all who loved him as their own.  They gave him more purpose, more meaning, and more reason than he thought possible.

So, as he sat alone, in his hotel room in Chicago, he resisted the urge to throw back bourbon, and instead, took out his wallet and cruised through his photograph collection.  His sister, Rebecca Katherine, as a child, and then, in her habit and wimple; a very torn and old photograph of Erin and Eric; his social security card.

Starr was first, though he had spent the least time getting to know her, he made a promise to himself.  Looking at the photograph of her with Hope on her lap, her mother's smile and her father's spirit staring back at him, he made a promise to get to know her better, and soon.  

The next photo was Jack, strong and young, and strikingly handsome.  He remembered the boy, hunched over the commode, puking his guts out on the eve of the opening, and how he later taught him to hate the drink as he learned to.

In the photo of Sam, he saw nothing of his parents, not physically, as it shouldn't have been.  But in his eyes was the hope that Blair had placed there over the time she had loved and raised him.  He smiled to himself and leafed through to the next picture and Ray, longish curls framing his face, was smiling up to his own finger, that was pointed heavenward.  A beautiful child, all he showed in his face and eyes was Todd.  If he had seen Todd as a child, he was certain that this was how he looked.  And finally, Jewel, the little diminutive beautiful doll-like child, a miracle for Blair, and Todd as well, that was brought into the world by her father's hands.

The last photo in the stack was of Todd and Blair, together.  It was a copy of their first real wedding, from 1995.  Todd with his long hair, and Blair smiling, with her upswept tresses and banana curls on each side of her face.  Her old style dress was a perfect compliment for his suit, and surrounding them were balloons, all shapes, in gold.  He smiled at their photo, realizing the love between them on that day was bigger and stronger than it ever was right then. 

This made him sigh, and put away his wallet, and say aloud, "My family," and closed his eyes, embracing sleep.  

***

Todd waited in The Sun Office until he knew the copter would be landing, bringing the boys home.  He worked on assorted small tasks that he had to complete, but noticed his concentration was lacking.  His mind was a mixture of Sam, waking from nightmares and himself, as a child, hiding from Peter in the closet or the shed.  He gulped, and sipped his coffee.  

When he finally heard the airborne vehicle approaching, he closed Sam's laptop, returned it to his room, and headed to the helipad.

Perzno brought the copter down, and Sam jumped out of the cabin, bookbag tousling on his back, and made a beeline for his room.  "Hey, Dad!  I won the spelling bee preliminaries."

"Whoa, big word there.  That's great!"  He eyed his older son, who took an immediate hint and went inside.

"Yeah, I'm glad, and now I go to the big competition."

"Well, that's awesome.  I'll be there."

"Okay," he said, and Todd instinctively put him up on his shoulders overhead.  "Let's go.  Duck in the doorway, Sam."

They walked through the master bedroom, and Todd put Sam down in the sitting area.  Sam said, "Where's Mom?"

"I think she's busy with the little ones."

"Oh, and where's Grandma Bitsy?"

"Probably doing the same thing.  I thought you and I could go outside for a while.  Want to?"

"Yeah!  I'll go change and put my stuff down."

"Okay.  I'll get my jacket and meet you downstairs."

Within a few minutes, Sam was hurrying down the steps.  "Mom, Mom!  It's going to be just me and Dad."

"That's great, I love those times," she said shooting him a look and licking her lips.

"Me too, but it's Sam's turn."

"Yay!"  Sam shouted and ran to the sliders.

Todd looked at Blair again, and this time, he reached up and touched the edge of the strand of hair that was framing her face.  He said, "Me and Sam, just us, Mom."

She nodded.  "Okay.  No bears, you two."

They went out into the backyard.


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