Spidey Sam: Chapter 32

Todd stood outside of the house watching as Dorian and David pulled out of the garage. He looked at his watch it was passed the boys bedtime. He could see into the house most of the light were still on. He had given Blair a few days to digest the news the Tomas was the one that had attacked her. He had completely lost it when she ended things with him, and he just wanted to hurt her plain and simple.

He could he could hear Viki's voice playing over in his head asking him to talk to Blair to get things straight between the two of them, if he was planning on staying in Llanview.  Which is what he was planning to do.  No more running away.  He was going to be the father that his boys needed, and the friend that Blair may not want, but definitely needed right now.  He knew Blair, and she would now for sure want what he wasn't ready to give, but he still wanted to be there for her.  He knocked at the door softly hoping she would hear him.  She did and opened the door.  She stood there in her night clothes at the door.

"Todd what are you doing here?  Its late and the boys are already asleep."

"I'm not here to see the boys, Blair.  I heard about Tomas, and I wanted to see if you were okay."

"You mean you wanted to gloat.  I know you suspected  him even though you never said anything to me.  Bo, told me that you suspected him from the start."

"Blair, believe or not, I didn't want to be right."

"Yes, you did, Todd, you just love to say I told you so."

"I didn't come here to say I told you so, besides I didn't tell you about what I suspected because you wouldn't believe it anyway.  Blair, I didn't come here to fight.  I came here to check on you and to talk about us."

"Todd, there is no us.  You have made it very clear more than once to me that there is no us."

"Yes, Blair there is an us, just not the us that you want.  I'm still here in your life and in the kids' lives.  I plan on staying here in your lives in Llanview.  It was a mistake for me to leave, to run away, to spend so much time away from you and the boys.  I'm sorry for that, I don't think I have ever told you that."

"No, Todd, you have never said you were sorry for leaving me and the boys."

"Well, I am, Blair, but that doesn't change my feelings about you or what you did.  I can't be with you Blair, not after you were with him.  I have no idea if I will ever be able to be with you after you were with him."

"So, you are going to punish me for it for the rest of our lives!"

"Blair, you know me well enough to know that this isn't me punishing you.  You know I could do a lot worse to you than just not sleep with you.  I have done a lot worse to you, for you doing a lot less to me.  I don't want to go back into that old pattern.  I would like to think that I'm better than that, Blair."

"So, what, Todd?  We just stay friends until you are ready to take me back into your bed?"

"I guess that is one way you could look at it."

"We have never been good at being friends, Todd."

"It's better than the alternative Blair.  The alternative almost got me put away for kidnapping for the rest of my life.  I don't want to spend my life in prison when I can spend it here with you and the kids.  It's up to you Blair, we can be friends or I can just drop kids at the front door and not come in, and we can talk just about the kids and only on the phone.  I think being friends sounds a lot better don't you?"

"So, I'm supposed to just do what you want?"

"No, you can do whatever you want but, I thought my way would be better for the kids, better for them to see us as friends than at each other throats or all hot and heavy than we explode right in front of them.  I don't want that for them.  I won't willingly create that type environment for them again.  It's up to you, Blair.  We can be friends and parents to our kids or we can just be parents.  You know what I want."

"What about what I wanted, Todd?"

"You can't have me the way that you want, and you know why, Blair."

"What if, I decide that I don't want you at all?"

"Blair, just as long as I have my kids in my life that is fine with me."

"You really do hate me that much, Todd?"

"I don't make friend's with people that I hate Blair, not anymore.  I love you, Blair, you are the mother of my children.  I just don't love you the way you want me to and, you have to see if you can live with that.  I'm not saying its forever, it for right now.  Can you deal with that?  Because it is the best that I can do for right now."

"So, your not saying that we are done for good, Todd?"

"Blair, we have kids together we can never really be done for good."

"You know what I mean, Todd."

"Blair, I need time and I don't know how much of it, I'm going to need.  You have to love me enough to give it to me, can you do that?"

"I can do that, Todd, just as long as you know I want a forever with you, Todd Manning."

"I know that, Blair, but you have to know that right now I'm not sure I can promise you a forever not the kind you want."

"I can live with the promise of a forever and have enough faith for the both of us right now that we will have it."

the End

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.