Hope from the Ocean: 52

"Hey, Shaun, what's up?  Blair said you wanted to see me as soon as I got back?"  Todd said, seeing Aiden off to cabin three.

"I did.  Can you come in, Todd?"

Todd entered Shaun's cabin, and sat down on the easy chair by the door.  "What's going on?"

"How well do you know this Aiden guy?"  Shaun said.

"No pulling punches, huh?  I like that.  I don't know how to answer.  Sort of like, I feel like I've known him for years."

"I searched his room today."

"You searched his room?"  Todd wasn't sure where the man's actions were rooted.

"I did."

"Why?"

"He's a stranger, he's near the family.  I wanted to make sure . . ."

"Did you find something?"

"Yeah, I found something."  He took it out of the drawer and showed Todd.


Todd examined the knife, that Shaun was holding in a cloth.  "It's a knife."  For a moment, he flashed on Leona's skinner.  The blade was curved similarly.  "You stole this from his cabin?" he asked, handing it back to him.

"Stole?  Todd, no offense, but did you forget that you don't know this guy?"

Todd didn't answer.  Am I putting Blair and the kids in danger?  Think Manning.  What DO you know about this guy . . .

"Todd?"

"Yeah, uh, well, you could be right, I guess."

"I know he saved you, or helped to.  I know he helped find Thornhart.  But he's part of the RA21.  They're terrorists, Todd.  They're not a bunch of guys hanging out, and doing vigilante stuff.  They're terrorists, like The Men of 21, just on the other side."

They're terrorists . . . like The Men of 21, just on the other side.

"All right.  Maybe so.  But the guy's not hurt anyone, not done anything but help.  He's been shot, in the head, as a child.  He has a dark past, so do I.  If I waited for everyone to judge me based on what I'd done, I'd be nowhere."

Shaun didn't say anything, his body language just changed from a determined front to a more collapsed lean-back.  He wasn't getting through.  "I understand, but . . ."

"Look.  That knife could have many purposes or reasons.  I'll just ask him, outright.  If I don't like the feel I get, I'll send him packing.  If he were out to kill us all, we'd be dead, wouldn't we?  In fact, I'd be dead, since he had the chance in the catacombs to let me die."

Shaun appeared defeated.  "Should I put it back?"

"No," he said, extending his hand and taking it back.  "I'll handle it.  If you think I'm going to let anything hurt my family, then you might not know me."

"I think I know you.  I know you see yourself in him, at least a bit.  I could be wrong.  I'm not saying you're off-base about him.  Just looking out for you and the kids."

"And I appreciate that, honestly," Todd said, standing up.  He studied Shaun's face for a moment, and said, "You did what was right.  You're protecting us, and no one can fault that.  Thank you, Shaun.  I mean that."

Shaun nodded and smiled, "You're welcome.  Don't let Blair see that thing."

"Believe me, I won't.  I'm going to go talk to Aiden now.  I think you're wrong, for what it's worth."

"That's what I'm hoping," he said, as Todd left the cabin.

Heading to the right, he walked toward cabin three, the knife in his hand.  He made sure to keep the cloth between his fingers and the object; he didn't want to feel it in his palm.  It would bring too many familiar feelings and the thought of it made him sick.  He knocked on Aiden's door.

The door opened and Aiden was smiling, shirtless, with a toothbrush in his hand.  "Ah, Todd, what's bringing you by?"

"This," he said, holding out the cloth with the knife protruding.

Aiden's expression was not what he expected.  The man seemed emotional and disarmed by seeing it. He lost his carefree appearance, and looked back to Todd with a sadness about him.  "Ya went through my things?  Is that why ya offered to bring me to Dublin Hospital?"

"No, I didn't.  My security team did, without my knowledge.  It was reported to me.  If you knew certain things about me, you'd know why this particular item is alarming everyone."

Aiden's expression changed again.  "It's a fishing knife.  Belonged to the man who took me in.  He gave it to me, something to remember him by.  The handle, it has scrimshaw of a fish."  Todd turned it over in the cloth.  The fish was detailed with scales, and seaweed around it.  It appeared to be hand-carved.  "He did that, himself.  He said that fish were 'hope from the ocean.'"

Hope from the ocean.  I can't remember, but I know I've heard that before.

Todd was distracted back to the present when Aiden said, "Ya can keep it, until I'm gone.  I just hope ya'll return it to me when I leave.  Just give me an hour or so to get myself together."

Todd looked at the man's face and saw disappointment more than anything.  The second thing he read was bleakness.  He said, "No, I wasn't meaning you had to leave.  I . . . just think I need to show you something."

Aiden stepped back, allowing Todd into the cabin.  The door shut behind him, closing out the frigid cold.  Todd removed his jacket, putting the knife wrapped in cloth into it, and then unbuttoned his shirt.  Aiden was surprised, and his face showed it.  Todd removed his outer shirt, revealing a white t-shirt underneath.  Aiden, attempting to guide the scene in another direction, said, "I didn't know ya had it this bad for me, Man."

Todd almost laughed, but then, remembering what his task was, said, "I don't show people these things often.  I take a lot of pains to hide them, as a matter of fact."

Aiden's smile faded, as Todd removed his t-shirt and turned.  When he completed his three-hundred and sixty degree turn, Aiden's face was one of complete horror.  He said, "What is that, Paddy?" very softly.  "What are those squares all over ya?"

Todd folded his arms after returning the t-shirt to his body.  "Cuts."

"Cuts?  What do ya mean?"

Todd studied Aiden closely, and in watching him, he was certain this was not a skinner, or a killer, or anyone they would be threatened by.  The man, who had been nothing but jovial and animated, was on the verge of tears.  Todd said, "Leona.  He . . . had a certain ritual.  I was his captive, for eight years."

Aiden reached behind himself to find the side chair, and eased into it.  Putting his face into his hand for a moment, he pushed his hair back off his forehead.  "Ritual."  He looked back up at Todd, who was redressing.  "He used a knife, like mine, eh?"

Todd nodded.  "So you might see why Shaun was alerted."

Aiden said, "It's a sentimental piece, but foolish.  Ya can throw it away, for all I care after hearing this.  What kind of men are they?  I thought they were ruthless, but this . . ."  his voice trailed off.

Todd said, "There's more, but I think I've said enough.  The knife is yours, and means something to you.  No need to toss it because of me."

Aiden said, "Is this what you meant about your past, Mate?"

"No.  Not all of it.  I'd like to say it is, but it's not.  There's more.  And, I wouldn't be with Blair, with a child on the way, if I didn't face it."  

Aiden seemed different than Todd had ever seen him.  There was no longer even a trace of his bantering, good-natured spirit.  He was desolate, lost.  His eyes were pained with confusion and tenderness.  Todd saw it as an opening, and continued.  "Anyway, that's why I think you might want to face yours."

"How can ya connect all that's happened to ya to my story?  Ya've been a sort of hero to many of us for the last two years, Paddy.  Now this?  I can see why Blair holds to ya like Block C."

"I don't understand that, but I think I know what you mean."  Todd smiled, and then said, "I'm not a hero, I'm just me.  Believe me, if you knew the rest, you'd understand why I say it."

"Ya can be a hero who has fallen before.  Ya can't deny the fearless things, the gallantry.  Ya can't take that away, just as ya can't take away whatever it is ya lament about.  Ya just saved a man, Todd, at ya'r own expense."

Todd swallowed, remembering Patrick's words.  "Yeah, all right.  Maybe."

"Ya did.  I saw."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah.  We can get the medical help, you heard them at the hospital."

"I don't have the money for that kind of thing."

"I do."

"Ya can't."

"I can.  I will, I spend my money how I want to.  Besides, they love me there, at Old DH.  I bought a wing there once."

Aiden's grin seeped through his sadness.  "Ya got me there."

"I'm just telling you, for your own sake, face it all.  Whatever it takes.  Once you face the memories and the ones you're blocking out, things will get easier."

Somehow, Aiden knew that Todd was speaking from genuine experience.  He said, "I believe ya.  I just don't know how, with the pain and all."

"Sometimes you have to deal with the pain to get to the good stuff," Todd said, putting his coat on and heading toward the cabin door.  "The guy who gave you the knife.  A good guy?"

"The best.  The only father I remember."

"Why did you leave him?"

"Had to.  It was to protect them both, my parents.  They were innocents."

Todd stopped and thought a moment, then he said, "What do you think about going back to see them?  It might jog memories that are hidden in there."

"From experience, Todd?"

"I guess you could say that.  I opened a whole other world that I'd blocked out of my mind by going to the house where I grew up.  It was a house of horrors, but for you, I don't think that's the case."

"No.  The horrors for me are likely before I knew them."

"Likely.  Would you know how to get back?"

"Of course.  I'd never forget.  Innishcreg."

Todd felt a chill in his back.  He said, "You didn't ask me about the bullet wounds."

"Ah, no, I didn't.  I think the other scars distracted me.  Is there something connected?"

"I was shot in Innishcreg, in the back.  I took bullets for Thornhart.  It was a long time ago.  Behind me," he heard himself say.

"The Men of 21.  Is that what it was?"

Todd nodded.  Putting his hand on the doorknob, he said, "Well, think it over.  But for me, life really started when I faced all of the past, as horrific as it was.  Before that, I was . . . well, lost, I guess."

"I hear ya.  I promise to think on it, Mate.  I'm . . . sorry."

"No sorries.  Just move on, that's all."

He was gone.  Aiden sat alone in the cabin, and leaned his head against the wall, his eyes upward.  "Good Lord, I wish I could understand why ya allow evil."  He sighed.  "Ah, Mam and Dad, to see ya both again.  Surely no one can hurt ya both now.  Todd may be on to something, that one."  He stood, walking to the opposite side of the room, and picked up the cloth, unwrapping the knife.  Holding it in his palm, he said, "He might surely be onto something."

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