Failings of the Fathers: 15

It was nearing bedtime, and well after dark, and Sister Rebecca Katherine was finally feeling settled at Mountainview.  She had a beautiful, airy room, with high ceilings, on one of the upper floors.  Her window overlooked the lake.  She knew her nephew, Todd, definitely had something to do with it.  She knelt in prayer for the evening, and turned in.

Before falling asleep, her mind rested on her brother, overseas, with his newly-found son, and the trials they must have been enduring.  I will call them tomorrow, it's four in the morning there, now.  She hoped with all hope that Aiden, or Eric, was doing well and recovering.  She could only imagine how Timothy was feeling: a newly adopted son, in the states, who had a great deal of turmoil in his life, and his biological son, located after all these years apart, dealing with a life threatening ailment.  She closed her eyes and welcomed sleep.

***

"This Manning family night is turning out to be a great one," Jack said, putting Sam over his shoulder like a sack.  He'd seen his father do it often.  He spun Sam around a few times.  

"That's fun!"  Sam said.

"Shh, Sam, not so loud.  The Road Runner finally went to sleep."  Todd said.

"If I had to chase him one more time, I think I'd collapse," Jack said.  "Off to bed for you, Squirtnation."

"Oh brother, you giant clumsy oaf, don't smack my head against something," they heard Sam's voice trail off as Jack carted him to his room.  Bitsy was smiling, and looking into the fire.  

Blair said, "Those two are something.  Sam's getting quite a vocabulary for a little guy."

"He's smart, like his reporter father."

"Or his mother."

"Or both," he said, kissing her delicately.

They looked back to the sitting room, and Bitsy had fallen asleep against the couch cushions that Jack had set up for her to rest on as she drew.  Todd said, "She . . . had a meltdown today."

"What happened?"  They spoke in very soft tones.

"I told her she was a great mother, because she's great with Ray.  She broke down."

"Oh, Todd," Blair said, compassionately, "She's so full of guilt.  I can tell you one thing, I would be."

"It's all done with, Blair.  I wish she could see that."

"She sees.  She just can't forgive herself."

"I want her to."

"I do, too, but you can't make that happen.  Just how we couldn't make you forgive yourself for Marty.  It took years."

"Still not positive it's completely done."

"See?  It's up to the person to figure out.  Bring her to Ray's tomorrow, maybe."

"She needs to anyway.  She missed an appointment a couple of days back.  We just forgot."

"Well, then, make that a goal for tomorrow.  The poor, precious soul.  She loves you very much, Todd."

"I know.  I love her, too.  He broke her, as a person.  I can see it now.  I couldn't see it then, I was just too little."

"You know, I'm not sure he ever broke you.  Not really.  You stood up to him, for years."

"He didn't, I broke myself.  I shattered, when I was fourteen, and almost killed him.  I'm amazed I blocked out all the years before it, but that's what I did.  A piece of me just hid it away."

He had a faraway look in his eyes.  Blair said, "My Love, let's not.  This was a grand night, for all of us.  Let's just let it be like that."

"Should I wake her?"  He got up, and went to change into his pajamas as they talked.  

"Leave her be.  She chased Ray everywhere today."  Blair said, and slid down into the bed.  "Get her a blanket."

He did, and covered her gently.  She woke at the light touch of the blanket.  He said, "Momma, sorry to wake you."

She shrugged, and started to get up.  She waved to Blair.  Blair said, "Goodnight, Momma."

She kissed Todd's cheek, and he said, "Night, Momma."  She padded off to her room, sketchpads under her arm.

He went back to the bed and got in next to his wife.  "Hold me?"  she asked.

"Of course," he said, and spooned her, wrapping his arms protectively around her and the baby.  

***

Bitch.  You think you're rid of me?  That you and your pansy-ass son are safe?"

She sat up in the dark, her mouth open in a silent scream, then breathing heavily.  She looked around for familiarity, and finally realized where she was.

I'm at Todd's house.  It was a dream.  It was just a dream.  She rocked.  No.  He's not alive.  He's dead, and he's not coming back.  He's never coming back.

She closed her eyes to squeeze out the dark images that had just moments before flown through her mind:  Peter, at her bedside, with a bat.  She remembered the baseball bat.  She knew exactly what it could do. 

He was saying things.  He said he would get Todd's sons from him and make them into men, all three of them.  He's dead.  I'm wrong, he's dead, he can't hurt them.  But he said it.  He said he would make them men, and oh, God, I know what that means.  I know.  He will want to break them.  Strong Jack.  Innocent Sam.  Darlng Little Ray.   She knew he would want to straighten out a rebel like Ray.  He'd done it to Todd.

She got up and paced, wringing her hands.  I was dreaming.  Dreams are not real.  Dr. Ray has told you, they're not.  They're not.

But the other dream, about the baby?  The baby is small, and pretty, and safe?

And the other dreams, of seeing My Angel again, they were real.  They came true.

Not this!  Not this one!

She ran from her room and into the hallway.  Not sure what to do next, she stood outside Todd and Blair's door, frozen with fear.  Suddenly, she realized she was breathing too fast, and too much, and couldn't stop.  Panic set into her chest, and it tightened.  She had no choice but to fall onto the door, and pound with her fists.  Pain seared through her chest, and she tried again, this time, missing, because the door was not there, the door was gone, it had . . . opened.

In the amber light of the fire, Todd watched his mother fall to the ground just inside their bedroom.

***  

"I do not know ya, Sir, so kindly take y'ar leave."  Sister Rebecca Katherine said.  She was in nun's garb, standing on what appeared to be a cliff in Ireland.  Opposite her was a tall, looming figure.  She could not make out the face.

"You know who I am.  And you know what I want."

"I insist to tell ya, I have no idea.  Now, if ya don't mind, I'm off to St. Patrick's."

"I mind."  He blocked her way.  "I mind that you intefere."

"In what?  I've never seen ya before in me life!"

"You're in the way, old woman.  Always have been.  Step aside, and let me do my work."

Fear gripped her, and she clutched at her rosary.  "Are ya The Devil?"

The figure laughed, a menacing tone dancing in it.  "You could say that, if you want."

"What do ya want, then?  Make y'ar case."  She continued to face him, holding her beads in her fist.  

"I want the children." The dark man said.  "I want their souls."

She squeezed the rosary tighter and tighter in her hand as he turned and walked away from her.  Finally, he was gone, and in her palm, she could see that the cross had pierced her palm.  She bled.

The nun sat up abruptly and instinctively checked her hand.  Nothing.  "Lord Jesus, please," she said aloud.  "Please bring my heart peace from that nightmare."

She closed her eyes and began to pray.  After a few minutes, she felt calmer, and said aloud, "A dream, Creena.  A night creeping.  Ya ate your snack too late this night, ya did."

She sat quietly, trying to rinse her mind free of her thoughts.  Instead, she leaned over and took the phone.  It was three a.m., but she knew what that meant in Swiss time.

"Hello, and top of the morning!"  Timothy said.

"Ah, dear brotha," she said, "I had to hear y'ar voice."

***

"Momma!"  Todd cried out, and Blair, already awake, was sitting up.

"Todd, what's wrong?"  she said, getting up.

"No, get back into that bed, Blair.  I mean it.  Momma . . . I don't know, she just fell into the room.  I heard her, she pounded on the door, and then fell inside when I went to open it."  He was kneeling beside her.

"There's no rule I can't get out of bed, Todd, for God's sake," Blair said, coming to his side.  Before she had a chance to even think of finding a way down to their level, Todd had lifted his mother up in his arms, and brought her to the couch.  

Lying her down, he said, "Momma, come on, can you hear me?"

She didn't respond, and Blair was first to the phone.  

Todd barked, "No, I'll fly her there myself.  The copter.  She's not moving, Blair." 

Blair saw the panic in her husband's eyes and she said, "Todd, she's going to be okay.  She's breathing.  Go ahead and take her, then.  Just call me, and be careful."

He loaded her into the copter, wrapped in a blanket, and threw on a jacket over his sleep clothes.  Blair watched as he lifted off in the helicopter toward Llanview Hospital.

***

"Creena, for goodness sake, Dear Heart, it's only three in the morning there!"

"I know.  I'm just awake.  A nightmare of sorts.  Nothing major."

"What was it?"

"A shrouded figure, I think The Devil, or someone evil.  Wanting the children.  Their souls."

"Not such a pleasant way to spend y'ar sleep, eh?"

"No.  Not.  I forced stigmata into my own palm, in my fear," she said.  "Of course, that was in the dream as well."

"Ya felt terror."

"Yes.  I . . . want to forget it.  For now."

"A knowing?"

"Not going to say that, no.  But I must move past it.  It's not important now.  A dream is a dream.  How is Eric, the dear boy?"

"He's just come out of surgery, last evening.  He seems to be all right.  He came out of it well.  It was the second of the exploratory type.  There will be more.  He's made friends, here.  Everyone needs that."

"I am glad.  That's better news.  Over here, I've moved to Mountainview.  I'm starting my internship with Dr. Martino."

"That's good news, Sister.  Glad to hear.  Tina is holding her own here, very supportive of my son."

"Wonderful."  She was having difficulty shaking the feeling of dread from the dream.

"Ya never say that.  The dream is plaguing ya?"

"It is.  But I'll be fine.  I have some reading to do, it will occupy my mind."

"Perhaps.  But it's bothering ya.  What do ya feel it meant?  Did you recognize the figure?"

"No.  I've never seen him before, I am certain of that.  His face was very unclear.  The wind was whipping like a banshee.  I was on the cliffs."

"Sounds ominous.  Ya want to tell me what y'ar thinking?"

"Nothing.  Nothing important.  Just . . . I trust in the Lord to keep everyone safe."

"That's me girl."

"And will ya send my best to Eric?"

"Yes, I will tell him his Auntie asked for him."

"That is fine, Broham, please do."

"All right.  Now ya try and get some rest, Dear Heart."

"Ya have a good day, Timothy John."

"Same to ya," he said, hanging up.  He turned to Tina.  "She called me Timothy John."

"What does that mean, exactly?"  she said, from beside Aiden's bed, where he was resting.

"It means she's had a knowing.  And she's very upset by it, as well."

***

It was past dawn, and Blair was in the bed, trying to pass the time and waiting on word from Todd.  As she turned her attention to her magazine, she heard distant copter blades and looked up and out.  The copter was approaching the helipad, and she sighed.

Todd exited the copter, and went around to the driver's side.  He opened the door for his mother, who got out, able to walk on her own.  He still stood by her and supported her arm.  Blair got up and opened the panes to let them in.  Once inside, Bitsy went to the fire.  Todd said, "She's all right."

"Was it a heart attack?"

"No, panic."  He said, watching his mother for a moment.

"Panic?"

"Yep."

"Well, you've had it before, it seems like your heart is going to explode from your chest, right?"

He nodded, then turned to Blair.  "Something spooked her."

"What was it?"

"Needless to say, she's not talking."

"What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, but she won't write it to me.  She just said to forget it, she's tired."

The woman warmed her hands and was on her knees, in front of the fireplace doing so.  Blair got out of the bed and walked toward her.  "Momma?"

She turned, smiling up at Blair, and nodded once in acknowledgement.

"Momma, what happened?"  She turned away from Blair, and continued to warm her hands.  "Is something wrong, or is Ray too much for you?"

She shook her head no, and continued with her hand warming.

"Momma, we want to help."

She ignored Blair, and kept on.

Blair walked back to Todd.  "She's not 'talking.'" She used air quotes.

"I just said that."

"Well, you were right."

"I made an appointment for later today, with Ray.  The ER staff requested it in lieu of psych evals there.  I informed them of her past and they let me take her home."

"Why that?"

"She wrote something to them, not me.  They refused for me to see it, because, supposedly, she asked them not to show me."

"It's personal then, or something she thinks will upset you.  Possibly something that happened to her she does not want you to have to deal with knowing?"

"Probably.  Sounds right."

"Ray will know."

"He'll figure it out.  We're going in a few hours."

"Anything I can do?"

"No.  Just let me be with you, put my head on your lap right next to Jewel and listen to her."

"Listen to her?"

"Well, you know what I mean, be near her.  Sometimes I think I hear her.  I know it's all that other stuff going on.  But, she can hear me."

"She can.  Come on, let's get back into bed for a while.  Momma, you going to be all right?"  Blair called to her.

She got up from the floor, and turned to them, nodding.  Then, she made a small wave, and left.  Todd watched after her, while getting into the bed, and putting his head on Blair's thighs.  The baby pushed into his cheek, and he smiled.  "She's there, all right.  Just got my first face punch or kick from her."

"She knows her Daddy.  By the way, I'm worried about your mother."

"I know.  In a couple of hours, she'll be with Ray.  She's okay, for now."

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