The Mysterious Samuel Toddman: Chapter 47

Todd leaned back taking in deep breaths, he was getting so tired of his body. " Well you must think I'm a total basket case by now. Sorry I dumped so much on you without warning. I guess it was bound to come out eventually and there's something about you that just makes it easier for me to talk. I'm grateful you agreed to help.  Do you have any questions?" Todd wondered what was going through Ray's mind. He had just agreed to help a crazy man, someone he hadn't seen in years, he had to feel a little like Alice in Wonderland. He had dropped down a rabbit hole and found himself in the land of alters and impostors.

"Todd, I told you a long time ago, I want to help. If you think I can do that then I'm all yours. But from what I just heard and witnessed, this isn't going to be a walk in the park. Are you really ready to face the truth, whatever we uncover?" Ray asked. He was still worried about Todd's health. "We need to be clear about something, Todd. I'm not sure you're up to intensive therapy right now. I understand you've decided to finally tackle your problems, but I don't want to be responsible for your death. If we go through with this you'll need clearance from your doctor that you're stable enough to attempt it."

Damn body, once again it was impeding him. Now Ray was going to hold him off because of his health. "Ray I can see where you're coming from and I wouldn't hold you responsible if my health took a turn for the worse, but I can't delay this. I don't know if I can explain the urgency. You met Samuel.  He's the exact opposite of Pete. You know how I would get when the anger took over, but that was paltry compared to Pete. The night Pete came out he almost killed Peter Manning and would have if my friend Sam Rappaport hadn't pulled him off. He was uncontrollable at fourteen, now he's ten times worse. I know my body isn't ready, but I don't have a choice. I'll go slow, you set the pace." Todd had been watching Ray, he wasn't sure if he was getting through to him or not.

The desperation in Todd's voice was palpable, Todd was so close to the edge already. Ray realized that the only thing to do was agree. Todd's whole psyche anticipated rejection, he had received so much as a youth that it was a way of life for him. In his eyes, all of his failures stemmed from disappointing people and then being rejected by them for that disappointment. He had already primed himself for rejection from Ray. He was sitting there waiting for it to happen. "Todd, I want you to hear this, I'm going to help you no matter what. I just want to make sure that I understand all of the obstacles we're going to encounter. I need to know the full extent of your heart problem so I can avoid aggravating it. I'm not a Medical Doctor so I'm flying blind with regards to your condition. You just had a panic attack. I'm very familiar with those and normally they are a manageable problem but when you factor in a bad heart, they're are something we're going to have to try and avoid. Now do you understand?" he saw Todd's demeanor change as his words sunk in.

Todd felt a weight lift as he realized Ray wasn't taking back his offer to help, Ray just wanted to make sure there were restrictions in place to prevent Todd from hurting himself further. He relaxed and looked at Ray, and said. "OK, We'll do that. Starr is taking me back to the doctor for a follow-up. I'll get you what you need from him. In the meantime I guess we should figure out when we're going to meet and how soon we can get started. I know you can't stop your work just for me. Do you think it will be possible to work here or I can arrange to meet you, but I'll have to do that somewhere other than Llanview? This is the wrong time to make an appearance, my impostor was shot yesterday. My turning up now would be asking for the same fate. I was worried you might not show today, because the news was all about Todd Manning being the object of sniper fire. I feared if you had heard the news you would have thought he was me and not bothered to come here. I'm grateful that didn't happen."

Ray smiled, "Relax Todd, I don't like to listen to the news when I'm driving. It's an occupational hazard but invariably one of my patients ends up on the news, so it's depressing. Maybe we could meet somewhere neutral and in between Statesville and here. I have privileges at the Cherryvale Clinic.  Perhaps I can get permission to used one of their offices for our sessions. In fact, that might be ideal to have the sessions close to an ER in case you were to have trouble. What do you say we start the day after tomorrow if I can make the arrangements?"

Todd's ears had perked up at the mention of the Cherryvale Clinic. Ray didn't have any idea how perfect that was. Not only would Todd be away from prying eyes in Llanview, he'd be able to check out the Clinic's records of any patients that might have showed up on the night of March 14th, 2003. With any luck, he might get some more evidence against Carlo.

"Ray, I think that will be perfect. Let me give you my number here, and I'll try to keep it together the next two days until we can meet again. I don't really have a choice do I. At least now I have some hope that there might be a chance for me yet and it's because you've given it to me." They exchanged numbers and worked out a time that would work for both of them than Todd saw Ray out.

After Ray's departure, Todd felt drained.  He had been holding a lot of nervous energy in, wondering if Ray was going to assist him. Now that it was a done deal, he felt like a balloon that had just popped and suddenly went flat. Wearily he sat down and thought some more of the day he had just had. What with the news of Manning's shooting, the visit from Nora and the near disaster visit with Ray, Todd had no doubt things were back to normal. Yep, just another fun-filled day in the life of Todd Manning. What else was new?

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Todd was in the kitchen when the front door open. He had thought Starr was going to stay at the Hospital, maybe Blair had come. He was just getting ready to call Blair's name when he heard another sweet voice reach him.

"Now Sam, you go put your toys down over there, and let me put Hope in the playpen.  I wonder where Mr Toddman is?  Starr said he would be here.  Let's get your coat off. I can't believe Starr is living here again. It's been a long time since I've been here, it looks different." Addie took Sam's coat and reach over to find a toy for Hope.

Suddenly Hope stood up and held her arms out. "Dragon come pway"

Addie looked around to see who was behind her. "But...you're supposed to be in the hospital... but... you look like Todd ... but you can't be Todd. Something isn't right here .. You look like Todd." Addie walked over to him and reached up with her hand to his cheek." You're the Beast who fell for Beauty aren't you. What are you doing here? You were changed and now you're back, does my daughter know?  It's not very nice to hide you know."

Her hand was still on his cheek, he reached for it and held it, then he bent over and gave her a kiss on her cheek." How are you, Addie? Yes, I know it's not nice to hide but it's not the time for me reveal myself yet. Thank you for picking up Hope and bringing her home. I take it you're watching Sam for Blair. Where's Jack.?"

Addie was still trying to believe what she was seeing. "I don't understand how can you be here and in the hospital too? I left Jack with Blair so they could find out how you were doing. but you're here, what are they sitting at the hospital for?"

Todd took her coat off and put it and Sam's on his desk chair. He knew she was better but obviously it was a shock to come face to face with him after all these years. He guided her to the couch and said. "Addie give me a moment to find something for Sam to do and I'll answer your questions. I have a lot of my own questions too." Then he turned to Sam and asked " Sam have you and your grandmother had dinner yet?" Sam shook his head, "Well then we need to decide what we're going to eat. Do you like Pizza? Great, Addie you know what Sam likes perhaps you could order the pizza and Sam can help me get some plates and drinks ready."

Todd handed Addie the phone and when she realized what Todd had asked, she made the call and got down to ordering something for all of them to eat. Todd knew that for now she wasn't dwelling on the puzzle she had just encountered, she was strictly a grandmother taking care of her grandchild. He took Sam into the kitchen and together they got plates and drinks and then Todd carried everything out to the coffee table. Then he got Hope out and sat down with Addie to wait for the delivery. She was looking at him, this time her gaze was sharp and he could hear the questions beginning to roll around in her head. While they waited for the Pizza he began telling Hope and Sam a story about Sir Dragon. He wasn't quite ready to take on Addie at that moment. He was just finishing his tale when the doorbell rang.

The children wanted another story and Addie got up and said, "Dear Beast you continue, I'll get the pizza." She grabbed her purse and paid for the pizza and brought it into the living room. Then she grabbed some of Todd's big throw pillows and set them at the coffee table and had Sam sit on one and Hope on the other. "Come on Beast, dinner is getting cold" and she gestured to the end of the table nearest Sam and she sat down next to Hope. Todd joined them and they began to eat. Sam had been waiting patiently but now that the food was in front of him he wanted another story. So Todd began his fractured fairy tale of Sam and Hope.

Now it seemed that Sam and Hope had decided to take a walk one day and wanted to go into the dark forest. They had heard stories that a great dragon lived deep in the woods and their mother had told them they shouldn't go in there because everyone said he liked to eat people. Sam was a big boy now and he thought that a dragon wouldn't hurt kids so he talked his sister Hope into going with him into the forest.

Before going into the forest, Sam got some food together for a picnic but when they got a little way into the forest they got scared because they were sure they wouldn't find their way back home. Sam decided to leave pizza bits behind them so they could find their way out after they saw the dragon. Sam and Hope were having a great time when it started getting dark in the woods and they hadn't found the dragon so Sam thought they should go home. But something awful had happened. All of their Pizza bits were gone and they didn't know which way to go. Then Sam found a path so Hope and he followed it to a big house and boy did it look good. There were gumdrops and chocolate bars all over the house.

They hadn't eaten any lunch so they started to eat when they heard a nasty witch laughing. "So two little children have found their way to my house.  They sure look tasty. I'll bet they're real sweet too.” She began chasing them. " Ahh" screamed Hope because the mean witch had grabbed her, then the witch managed to grab Sam too and was walking them toward her outdoor oven. "Come, my dragon, it's time to light my fire. I have two sweet treats to eat."

Hope and Sam couldn't believe it. There was a huge scary dragon looking at them and licking his chops. He walked over to them and gave them a sniff." at this point Todd pretended to sniff Sam's neck then he got up and walked around to Hope and knelt down and sniffed her too.

"Hmm hmm, something smells so good. Good enough to eat," said the dragon, so he lit the witch’s fire. Sam and Hope didn't know what he was going to do next but suddenly with one swipe of his tail, the dragon knocked the wicked witch into her fire and slammed the oven door closed, then he turned to Sam and Hope.

Sam stood up very brave in front of his sister Hope and said, "You leave my sister alone. If you have to eat, you can eat me."

The dragon laughed a great big belly laugh. " Ho Ho Ho, I don't want to eat you. I want to thank you, those pizza bits were the best thing I've eaten in ages. All that witch wanted to give me was candy. Do you have any more?"

Sam gave the dragon the last of his pizza bits and said. "I know where we can get more, but you'll have to help us."

The dragon looked at him "What do I need to do?"

Sam said very wisely, "If you take us home you can have all the pizza you can eat." The dragon agreed and Sam and Hope climbed on his back and he delivered them home. Their mother was so glad to see them safe that she made four great pizzas for the dragon and word got out that the dragon hadn't eaten anybody. A wicked witch had and she was now gone because two small children went to see a dragon. The end.

Hope was nodding off and decided to crawl into her dragon's lap, Todd gathered her into his arms and asked Sam to help Addie with the clean up. He carried Hope up to her room and helped her slip on her pajamas and then he put her into bed and gave her a big dragon kiss. She went right to sleep and Todd turned on her monitor and headed back down to his guests. When he got back downstairs, Sam was playing with a few of the toys he had brought.

Addie had curled up on the couch and was watching Sam play. She got up off the couch and met him at the bottom of the stairs. "Where have you been all this time Todd? Why did you let someone else be you? Do you know how sad Blair was when you left? It wasn't nice. I think you owe me an explanation. You said you loved my little girl. How come you hurt her?"

Addie had always been direct and she was right, she deserved an explanation. He just wasn't sure she would understand it.  Todd looked at Addie, "You're right. Let's sit down and I'll answer your questions, But first let me show you my other two paintings. Todd opened the gate and walked Addie over to the two portraits. "First you should know that for right now my name is Samuel Toddman. Yes, I'm the Samuel Toddman that Starr has told you about. Jack and Sam think I'm a distant relative. Addie, do you know what multiple personality disorder is?"

Addie looked at him and said. " I spent most of my life in a mental home. I know the disease. I even met someone who had it. I didn't like her secondnd person too much. Why do you ask? Why are you pretending to be this Samuel Toddman? Why are you hiding?"

" Well, I'm not exactly pretending. You see, Samuel is a part of me, just like the person you met in St. Anns. I haven't been here because I wasn't in charge. Samuel was in charge of my body and Samuel is the artist who painted these pictures of Starr and Hope and also the pictures up on my wall. Samuel had no memory of you, or Blair or anyone else from my past. So he left the country and lived in France. Samuel had us in France for the last eight years. Just recently my memories started returning. Do you remember when Blair went to France last month to find the artist of her painting? Well, that was Samuel. Do you see the picture of Blair on the wall?   Samuel had just painted that when he met Blair and seeing Blair started the memories to return. I woke up and found a way to take back my body, so I'm in charge and we're here. Do you understand what I've been saying?" asked Todd as he watched for some reaction.

Addie looked at the pictures of her granddaughter and great granddaughter and then moved to look at the pictures on the wall. "How come Samuel didn't sign these three Pictures?"

Todd found it interesting that Addie had picked up on that. "Well you see, Samuel was hiding from someone. Someone, who we think might have been responsible for us losing our memory. We're trying to catch that someone and we don't want him to know that we are here, so that is why we're still hiding. I had nothing to do with the man who is lying in the hospital. I know he is Sam's father and that all of you believed he was me. Now I have to ask. Do you still believe he is the real Todd Manning or do you think I am?"

"Well, that depends, do you think I'm sane and that I can tell the difference?" asked Addie

Todd looked at her and said the same thing he had said a long time ago.

"Addie, I think you have more on the ball than a lot of other people I know. I believe you know your own mind.  So yes, I think you can tell the difference."

"Ok, then here's what I believe, I think you are Todd and if you say you have alters I'm not going to argue with you. You might want to be careful about telling a whole lot of people about them, though, you could end up in St. Ann's yourself.   I guess Blair knows about you too but don't hurt her again Todd because now you have me to deal with. I'm going to take Sam and go home. Are you and Hope going to be alright?" asked Addie.

Todd was taken aback, he hadn't expected such a quick and honest answer. She had asked him a question so he answered. "Yes Addie, we'll be fine. Would you answer one other question for me?"

"Let me guess, you want to know what happened to me? Miracle drugs. My doctor found some medicine that keeps me rooted in reality now. It's marvelous. For the last three years, I've been catching up on life. I was a little thrown when I saw you at first. But when you started telling your stories I knew it was really you I just needed to know what happened to you. I knew something had to keep you away all those years because if you had been able to be here, you would have. I know one important thing about you. You love my daughter and you always will." she walked over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "You really are her Prince you know." then she put Sam back in his coat and they left.

Todd sat down remembering a night long ago when he had received a music box from Addie, she had given Blair and him her blessing and told them they should try and have more babies. That night they conceived Starr.   Addie had more faith in them from the get-go. It appeared she still trusted him to do right by her daughter. He hoped he would be able to do that.

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