Failings of The Fathers: 5

Bea's face showed nothing but awe and surprise when she set foot into Unforgettable.  In the foyer, Todd motioned to the stairs, and Bea looked from him to Blair.

"I know, Momma, isn't it beautiful?  Todd designed the whole thing.  It was a gift for me."  Blair said.

She looked to the staircase, and smiled.

He said, "You going to go up and see your room, or do you want to look around down here?"

Bea pointed to the stairs, and the three of them embarked.

As they went through the hallway, she could not stop looking at everything as they walked, and running her hands along some of the railings and paintings.  She stopped at a particularly light painting of a floral still life.  "Jenna," Todd said, nodding.

She continued to walk with Todd and Blair to her room.  When it opened, her face brightened even more.  She let out a small laugh, and went to the bed, sitting on it and slightly bouncing.  She hugged herself, and looked at both of them.

Todd said, "You're welcome.  It's for you, Momma."

The room was exquisitely decorated in pinks, but it was not a childish design.  There was an air of innocence, but it also was clearly a woman's abode.  She took off her coat, kicked off her shoes and put her little bobby-soxed feet up onto the bed and leaned back.

"Hmf.  Getting comfortable already?" Todd smiled.

She nodded.  There was a desk by the window, that had three or four pads stacked up and a container of pencils.  She hopped up after spying them, and wrote.  I love my room.  I love both of you.

"We love you too, Momma.  Now make yourself at home, and when you're ready to see the rest of the house, just come down the hall to our room, and we'll show you around."

She smiled, and hung her coat in the closet.  Then, she went right to the desk. 

The house was quiet; it was school time, Jack and Sam were not home.  Ray was with Addie and Starr for the day, and would be delivered back home toward dinner time.  

They went onto the master bedroom suite, and Todd kicked his shoes off and jumped onto the bed.  "Well, she's here.  I feel . . . good about that.  You?"

"Yes.  Her face was so precious.  I wish I could have taken a photo of that."

"Come here," he said, patting the bed next to him.  She was still taking off her coat and shoes, and ambled over and sat next to him.  She ended up with her head on his shoulder, both of them propped on pillows.  Snow was lightly falling outside.

"Snow.  We haven't seen it since Sam," she said.

"That day was . . . well . . ."

"Bad.  A bad day.  But he's all right."

"Yep.  Think Momma can be happy here, and be totally well?"

"Yeah, I do.  She seemed it.  And I thought you said Ray told you she's making great progress?"

"He did.  Just checking."

"Todd, how was your session?"

It looked as if dark clouds went over their heads.  His face turned down.  "It was, okay."

"Anything . . . come up?"

He looked down and could see the burn scar, among the groupings of other scars.  There was still a faded band around his wrist, and small rectangles and other scars scattered along him.  "Yeah, something did.  I remembered stuff about 96."

"That's good, right?"

"Right.  The things my mind did to protect me are pretty amazing.  Of course, it wasn't really working, because I was losing everything as I went.  But, yeah, I think we made headway.  I have some imagination."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take this burn scar.  I thought I remembered Peter burning me with the lighter next to my bed in Switzerland.  But Ray made me see that I have so many scars it's impossible to know which is which.  That I was crossing memories from the torture with the 90s."

She didn't answer, she just listened to him.

He continued, "So, basically what happened after that was that he helped me calm down and breathe, and realize it was going to be tough.  He also said what you did."

"What did I say?"

"The thing about it's not been that long?  That there's been a lot of pain and heartache."

"Yes, there has."

"Anyway, seems the visions of Peter are all in my head, and coming from my experiences, and the visits to Ireland cued them.  Like you said, huh?"

"Hmm?"  She asked, distracted.

"You said that, too.  You said that Ireland brought all this up."

"Oh.  Yeah, I did."

He turned to look at her closer.  "Hey, you with me?"

"Yeah, oh, I'm sorry.  Yeah, I'm here.  I was just thinking.  You've been through too much for one person."

"I'm okay."

"Thank God.  Things could have been worse.  You could have been killed along the way, for real, and we could have lost you forever."

"Never happen.  Mannings have many lives."

She smoothed his chest hair through the v-neck of his shirt.  "Yeah, I guess they do.  Tell me more about the memories?  Like, what did you actually remember?"

"There were the phone calls.  So real.  He was just being his usual fucked-up self, telling me I can't live, I can't be anything, you'd never take me back, etc."

"This happened twice?"

"Yeah.  And both times when Aman and Lily were not home.  All in here," he pointed to his head.  "Protecting me from fighting too hard.  Maybe I thought if I got well, I'd have to deal with the truth."

"Maybe.  What else?"

"I remembered the clinic.  He stood by my bed.  I remembered him . . . taking out his lighter and flashing it at me.  It was just like the one . . ."

"That you had, in the safe?  That was his, I think."

"Yeah."

"Do you still have that?"

His face went blank.  "You know, I'm not sure.  I, thought that John had it.  That was way back, Blair."

"It was a while ago, wasn't it?  It feels like forever.  You had just gotten back."

"Yeah, Carlo and the hood.  Wow.  Things have definitely changed."

"They have.  So you said he flashed the lighter at the bedside?"

"Yeah.  Then he grabbed my arm, in my dream, and he burned me.  I can still feel it," she saw him absently touch the scar area.  "Well it seemed real.  Very."

"I know.  Dreams can do that."

"Well, Ray helped me see that my mind was in control of those things.  And that it never happened, it was just my imagination, just as my dreams are."

"Well, do you feel better?"

"I feel good, yeah.  I am glad I went to see Ray about this."

"Good."

"How do you feel?  How's your head?"

"Fine.  Jewel's turning.  It's uncomfortable."

"Want me to rub your stomach, or your back?"

She smiled up at him.  "You're so loving Todd.  Tender.  Just like the old days.  Remember?"

"Yeah, I covered my rep then, and I'm counting on you to cover it now."

She laughed.  "Todd," a very long pause, "I wonder . . ." she stopped.

"Wonder what?  If I'm for real?"

"No, I know you're real.  I just . . . well I'm glad you're remembering and dealing with it.  Maybe finally, things can come to rest.  Ow!"

"What?"

"She kicked me, and it felt like my rib."

"That's a little high."

"But it felt like it.  She might need to be that football punter after all."

"She might.  She's strong.  I like that, it makes me feel safer about her making it."  He looked into Blair's face.  "She's going to.  Flying colors."

"She'll probably outweigh Starr, Jack and Sam.  That basket might be too small.  I'll feel so badly if that's true.  Your mother really took care to make it for us."

"It's okay.  We'll find a use for it, so she doesn't feel badly.  She looked so happy."

"She is happy.  And it's okay that you are, too.  You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know that."

She snuggled closer, and as the snow continued to fall, they had an afternoon unplanned nap.

***

"Mom, Dad!"  Sam yelled, hobbling through the hall.  Both Todd and Blair opened their eyes and saw him right by the bed on his crutches.  He was waving a piece of paper at them.  "A trip!  We're going to the museum!"

"Okay, leave it there, and I"ll sign it, Sam," Blair said, stretching.

"So you two slept the day away, huh?"  Jack teased.

"Sort of.  Why are you guys home early?"  Todd asked, sitting up.

"Perzno had to come get us.  The snow, they cancelled school for the afternoon." Jack explained.

"Not a bad arrangement, you kids have."  Todd said, swinging his legs over.  "Guys, I have to tell you something . . ."

It was too late. Bea appeared outside the door.  Todd said, "Momma, come in.  It's okay."

Sam's face got the round "O" shape and he said, "Grandma Bitsy!"  and crutched toward her.  Throwing his crutches down, he reached for her, hopping on one leg.  

She embraced him, and Jack put the crutches back under his arms where they belonged.  Jack said, "Hey, Grandma."

She touched Jack's face, and walked past him into the room.  She handed Todd the notepad.  I'd better get used to carrying this thing with me.  So many people to talk to.  Todd, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I wanted to see the rest of the house like you and Blair offered.

"I'd like to do that, if it's okay?"  Jack offered.  "I'm a great tour guide, I had to do it lots of times."

"Sure," Todd said.  "If Grandma Bitsy is okay with it."

She nodded excitedly.

Jack said, "Okay, Grandma, come on."

"I wanna go!"  Sam shouted.

"You can come, Puny, just be quiet."  They disappeared into the hall.

"Your mother is so into those kids," Blair said.

Todd just stayed quiet ,staring after them.

Blair touched his hair, "Hey, you there?"

"Yeah, I'm . . . Sam's almost the age I was when . . . when she left."

"I know.  It must have been hard for you."

"You want to know the truth?"

"Yes.  I always do."

"It was easier because inside me I knew she was safe and that he couldn't hurt her anymore.  But another piece of me was so angry and so alone."

She made a facial gesture of empathy, and then said, "You were a sweet child.  Sensitive.  Peter didn't like it, clearly."

"No, he didn't.  He didn't like emotion.  He thought it was weakness."

"He was wrong."

"I guess he was.  The fucker."

Her heart leaped in her chest.  His last two words were so cold, it chilled her.  She said, "He's gone."

"He is.  But what he did to us. . . well, it remains, Blair.  It's there."

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.