Failings of the Fathers: 20

By late afternoon, the show was falling with small flakes at a very rapid pace.  "Mom," Sam asked, "Is this a blizzard?"

"Yes, Sam, I believe it is," she said.  She was set up on the couch in the sitting area.  Sam had his beanbag chair, and Jack was parked leaning against the couch on the floor.  Ray was playing contentedly with his toy trucks at Bitsy's feet.  She was sitting in a pile of cushions from the lower-level couch that Jack had procured for her.  She loved her little sitting nest, where she could draw and see the children face to face.

Todd was stationed at Blair's feet, they were in his lap, and he was working on her arches with his strong, loving hands.  Mixie was snoozing close to the fireplace, with his nose on his paws.  With the snow falling white and pure outside, it would have made a fabulous picturesque photo for a Christmas card for the following year.

"Why are you rubbing her feet?"  Sam asked.  "She hasn't really walked in a while."

"Because, Mommy's feet kind of swell right now, especially when she's not able to do much walking," Todd answered.  He looked up to Blair's face and saw her watching him.  Her expression was one of unadulterated love for him; he could see everything they had wanted in her eyes.

She said, "Daddy's very nice to Mommy."

"That's good, because you're nice, too, Mom."  Sam said.

Todd assessed the scene in quiet observation:  the woman he loved for most of his life, pregnant with his child; the mother he thought he had lost; his son, the eldest, who he thought he might never have a relationship with again after the things that had passed; Sam, whose innocence and love made him feel worthy somehow; Ray, his youngest, that had the light of his mother's fire in his eyes.  We even have a dog.  For a moment, though just a fleeting one, he felt as though his heart might burst through his chest.  This can't be Todd Manning's life?  Todd Manning, the rapist.  The liar.  The ex-con.  The selfish bastard.  

This can't be . . .

***

"How's y'ar son doing, Broham?"  Sister Rebecca Katherine asked Timothy.  It was getting into evening in Zurich.

"Which one, Creena?"

"Well, the one there.  We'll start with him."

"On his feet already, and causing trouble.  Today he made the nurses laugh, and they shirked their duties for a short while.  They got reprimanded in front of him by the head nurse."

"Ah, sounds like Eric, all right."

"Yes.  He's a gas, that one."

"Well, he does have his moments, and look at his father.  Ya were quite the jokster in y'ar day."

Timothy smiled, and then sat down on the leather chair.  Aiden hadn't come back from his breakfast, and Timothy was waiting for him, in his room, dutifully.  "My other son, he's the one I have concerns about.  Strangely enough, Eric's going under the knife, and Todd is the one who calls to my fears."

"I understand.  But Brotha, I'll tell ya this.  There's something . . . something still waiting to rear its head with The Mannings.  I can't quite place it."

"The dream.  Ya never answered me.  It was a knowing.  Ya called me by my given name."

"Possibly."

"What do ya want me to do?"

"Find out.  Is this terrible, evil man alive?  Find out, Timothy.  I don't want to think of what might happen if he is."

"Well, if he is, he's done nothing to hurt Todd or Blair or the children all this time, what makes ya think he would now?"

She realized how true that was.  "I don't know, Brotha.  I just want us to know."

Timothy heard the determination in her voice.  "I will try.  I'll do my best."

"I didn't want to face it, when I first had the dream, but yes, I feel it was a knowing.  I don't want any harm to come to Todd or his family.  The dream chilled me, it did, and it still does when I think back.  I couldn't rest without telling ya."

"Of course.  I will try, Dear Sister, and see what I can accomplish."

"Thank ya.  I knew ya would come through.  He needs ya, even if ya can't be with him right now."

***

Todd was planning on taking a break from the family festivities to go and work on locating Connie Bensonhurst, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave the comfort of the bedroom suite, and the closeness of the family.  Blair had slightly dozed, with her feet still in his lap, and she was beautiful.  Her slumbering face was peaceful and glowing with the life inside her.  He didn't want to leave her, or that room, ever, surrounded by everything he thought he had lost.  

"This is the most snow ever!"  Sam said, going to the glass wall and looking out over the yard.  The pile in which he had jumped weeks before was now recovered in white and growing even taller. 

"Hey, Squirt," Jack said, walking behind him.  Todd watched as Jack removed his earbuds and went after him, "Maybe you should get back from that window."

"Why?  I'm not stupid enough to jump twice."

"No, just once.  Now, come on," Jack said.  He couldn't bear to watch his brother near that spot.  He picked him up, balancing his brother's stomach on his shoulder, and brought him back into the sitting area. 

Sam plopped onto the ground.  "Hey, you dropped me!"

"Eh, you're all right," Jack said.  "Dad, Grandma's so quiet."

"Well, Ray's not."  The little boy was talking to himself, very audibly, along side the bed, playing with toys.  Occasionally, he would go under the bed and hide and then get pulled out by his feet by either Jack or Sam, and once even by Bitsy, and laugh from deep in his gut.  Todd said, "She can't speak, Jack."

"I know, but she doesn't even write or anything.  She never butts in, like Auntie Dorian."

"Well, no one butts in like her."  Todd said, "Talk to her, if you want her to interact with you.  Otherwise, she'll just sort of hang with us and do her own thing."

He went to his grandmother. "Hey, Grandma Bitsy, what are you doing?"

She held out her pad.  She was drawing a picture of him, with his music on, eyes closed, and clearly enjoying it.  Behind him, on the couch, was his mother, her hand on her belly as she rested, and his father, looking at her, lovingly.  It was as if she captured the feelings of everyone in the likeness.  He said, "Wow, that's nice.  That looks so real."

She smiled.  She turned the pad back toward herself and continued.  Jack said, "I would love to draw like that," and he half directed it at his father.

"Not everyone has talent in that area.  Find something you do well, and do it, I guess."  Todd said, and Blair started to stir a little, shifting her position slightly.  Without warning, the room went completely dark, except for the fire.

"Shit, the lights!"  Jack said.  "And my Ipod is not even fully charged.  Damn."  He went to the fireplace and poked at the current wood, that was dwindling, and then added a few more pieces.

Todd looked around, and then said, "Something's up with that.  We have a generator, we should have lights and heat."  He started to get up, "I'll go see what's up.  Jack, do me a favor?  Go get the flashlight from the drawer by my bed, and bring the baby over here."

Blair reacted to Todd's getting off the couch and lifting her feet gently to put them back down, and she said, "What is it?"

"We lost power, and something's wrong with the generator," Todd said.

"Oh, okay."  She was groggy, and slightly disoriented.

Ray walked toward the couch, and put out his arms.  "Mommy, up?  Mommy, hug me."

She looked down, "Oh baby boy, I can't pick you up.  Daddy will have to."

Todd bent down to get Ray, and sat him beside his mother.  "Be a good boy, okay?"

Blair put her arms around her little boy, and squeezed him tight.  He looked at her belly.  "Mommy, baby in there?"

"Yes.  A baby is in there."

He laughed, again from the belly.

She laughed too, "What is it, little guy?  What is funny about the baby in there?"

He laughed more.  "Baby in there."

"Yep, she is.  Her name is Jewel."

"Drool," he said, and Sam laughed this time.

"Drool?  No, Ray,  Look at me," he said.

The little boy looked as Sam mouthed the word clearly.  "Jewel."

"Yeah.  Baby."

"Okay Sam, give up for now."  Blair said, tousling both of her youngest sons' hair at the same time.  

Ray said, "Sam, play."

"Wait, Ray, I'm almost done with my comic book!"

"Play, play, play!"  He began to get angry.

"Okay, I will, just let me put this back," he said, and he stumbled in the dark to head to his room.  

"Be careful, Sam," Blair said.  When he disappeared out her door, she noticed that Bitsy was not in her place, either.  "Gee, I wonder where she went?"  she said aloud.  

She turned to Ray, who was now looking into the fire, and studying it.  He said, "Fire, hot and pretty, Mommy."

"No, Ray, come here, you can't play with the fire."

"Pretty, pretty!"  he said, jumping up and down.  Blair pushed herself to her feet, and saw that the protective screen was left off.  For a moment, she flashed on Jack, not having remembered to close it when Todd asked him about the flashlight . . .

It was a second in which her little boy, intrigued by the flames, raced toward it at full speed.  Instinctively, she grabbed him under the arms and hoisted him against her.  In that moment, she suddenly felt a tell-tale sign that she remembered all too clearly from the chapel at St. Anne's.  "Oh My God!"  she said, looking down.  Her water had broken, and she was standing, holding her son, over a small puddle.  At that very same moment, Bitsy reappeared at the door, with an extra sketch pad and a different pencil box, and her eyes widened as she realized how upset Blair was.  She threw her things down and went to grab the toddler from Blair's arms.  Blair, doubled over, and went to the couch.  "Momma, go get Todd, please."

Bitsy silently brought Ray, who was now screaming from not getting his way, to his room, and put him into the crib.  She passed Sam on the way, and couldn't take time to communicate with him.  He bounded into the master bedroom and said, "Mom?" when she saw her on the couch, breathing heavily.  

"Mom!  What's the matter?"

"Nothing, Sam," she struggled to speak, "it's all right."

Bitsy raced down the stairs, in the dark, looking for Todd.  She couldn't call to him, she couldn't see.  She fumbled her way along, almost sliding down the last few steps.  Her heart leaped in her chest; she felt fortunate she had a good handle on the railing.  She raced through the lower level, just to see Todd, coming in from the outside, covered in snow, and she ran to him, and shook him by the arms, and starting pulling him with her.  

"Momma, what's wrong?"  he said, slightly resisting at first.  She grabbed his hand and pointed to his ring, frantic panic all over her face.  "Blair?" he said, pushing past her.  Jack raced after him, with Bitsy's hand in his.

He flew up the staircase, skipping steps in the darkness, and rounded the corner to their room.  There she was on the couch, Sam, kneeling in front of her, and tears were streaming down his face.  Todd said, "Hey, Buddy," trying to contain himself, "go to your room and read a while."  He jerked his jacket of, spewing small still-frozen flakes onto the floor.

Jack and Bitsy were not far behind him, and Jack, realizing what was happening, grabbed up Sam and carried the sobbing boy out.  Bitsy went beside Blair, and took her hand.  Bitsy's tears were streaming, and Ray, in his crib, was still crying in complaint.  Todd crouched in front of his wife, "Babe?  What happened?  You. . .you in labor?"

Blair sucked in air, then let out a small moan.  "Yes, I'm in labor.  Ray was running into the fire, Todd.  I picked him up, and my water broke."

He rubbed her forehead with his hand, pushing her hair back from her face.  "It's going to be all right, Jewel will be okay."

"Todd, she's . . . coming," she said, trying to breathe the way she knew she should.

"I've got the copter.  It's right outside.  I can get you over to the hospital in a few minutes."  He started to stand and get her up, and she shook her head.

"No, Todd, we can't see.  Look out there.  You were just outside . . ." her words were interrupted by a cry of pain, "you know, the copter could crash, Todd.  And I'm not sure how long I have."  She started to cry, "Please, please, Todd, don't let me lose Jewel.  Please?"

"Shhhh, okay, it's all right."  He stopped, and then said, "You know we've done this before, right?"

"Todd, she's tiny, oh God," she cried, in pain but also sadness and fear.  "She's . . ." again, she was interrupted by her labor pains.  

Bitsy, holding Blair's hand, continued to cry as well.  Blair, noticing it, said, "No, Momma, don't cry.  Jack was delivered by Todd.  Jewel . . . she'll make it."

"I should take the copter, make a run for it . . ."  Todd said, under his breath.

Bitsy grabbed his arm, and caught his eye.  She shook her head "no" violently.

"Okay, okay, Momma."  He turned back to Blair.  "Well, you've done this before.  Come on, go onto your back."  His faced showed strain, and he turned to his mother.  "Momma, please, go tell Jack to call an ambulance.  It's going to take them at least an hour.  Please."

Bitsy was up in a flash and ran to Jack's room.

Todd looked back to Blair.  Her hair was already matted to her face in places around the edges, and he undressed her properly, then moved to the bathroom to locate towels to place down under her on the bed.  Once he arranged the area, he went back and lifted her in his arms, and carried her to the bed, placing her down delicately on the toweling that he placed below her.  He slid just a nightgown over her head.  She was crying, between her contractions, and gripped his hand with worry.  "Todd, I'm so scared," she said.

"Piece of cake, Mrs. Manning.  Remember what you said, about Momma's drawing?"

"I'm not sure, I . . .can't . . .remember . . ."

"You said the baby was in her father's hands, and that she would be okay.  I promise you, I'll do everything I can to make that true."

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