Failings of the Fathers: 69

"This rental is out of gas, we have to stop," Todd said.  He had scrambled, behind Blair, to get his gun delivered.  She had given him the look of looks when she realized what he was doing with the messenger boy at the car rental place, but at the same time, she imagined herself blasting a hole through Peter's skull.

She was beside him, in the passenger seat.  Bitsy, who was in the back, was nervously wringing her hands.  She took in all of the sights, as soon as they had arrived in Chicago, and was becoming more and more jittery.  All three of them agreed that waiting on another flight path, that could take hours, was not an option.  They had jumped into a rental car, and Todd had made perfect time, aside from the waiting for the "package."  

Blair said, "All right, then, stop."  She looked over the seat.  "Momma, are you all right?  We know you're nervous, being, well, being back here in Chicago."

Bitsy looked at Blair and just softly smiled, signaling her not to worry.  Yet, when she looked back out the window, Blair saw the fear in her eyes.  

Todd stopped the car, and got out, starting to pump the gas.  Blair got out, and stood next to him.  "Your mom's upset."

"She should be.  This is the god-forsaken place I was raised and she was tormented."

"Which made me think how you must feel, Todd."

"Me?  I've been through all that already, and you were there.  Remember?"

"Yes, I remember.  But how do you feel, being back here?"

He didn't respond immediately, instead, he put the nozzle into the car, and said, "Like a man who wants his baby back."

She raised her eyes to the sky, and hugged her arms.  "God.  He has our son."

"He has our son," he repeated, with finality.  "But he won't for long."

"Todd, what . . ."

He interrupted her.  "I'm going to do what I have to do, Blair.  Nothing matters to me right now but getting Ray away from Peter.  That's all there is in here," he pointed to his head.  "When that's over, we can pine over whatever it is we're pining over."

She marveled for a moment at his composure, but couldn't help wondering how he would fare when standing face to face with Peter.  Then, she looked to her shoes, and they blurred, as her eyes filled with tears.  In a moment, the tips of his shoes added to the blur, as he stood in front of her, and put his hand under her chin.  He lifted her face to his, her green eyes filled with crystalline water.  He said, "It's okay," and held her.

She cried.  "Todd, Ray's so little.  He's . . . defenseless. . . he . . ."

He swallowed before saying, "Has a mean kick to the groin."

She laughed through tears.  Then, "He's with that . . . freak."

Todd had to gulp again, because he knew she was right.  If he touches him, so much as looks at him wrong . . .  "I know.  But it's going to be over very soon."

She didn't like the edge in his voice during the last sentence he'd said.  She whispered against his chest, "I can't lose Ray, but I can't lose you, either, Todd."

***

"Tina, I never thought I'd find ya," the nun said, sitting next to her.  She was outside, in the garden, alone, on a bench.

"That's okay, I have to go back in anyway.  To see Aiden."

The nun looked to the ground.  "Dear," she began.

"Nothing to say, Sister.  I'll just have a few more minutes of sun and fresh air, and then head in."

"Tina," the nun said, touching the younger woman's arm.

Tina looked at her, with a blank expression.  The nun continued, "Tina, Dear, ya know that ya can't go and see Aiden."

"I certainly can," she said, getting anxious.

"No, ya can't.  Ya know he died.  Yesterday."

Tina was slightly rocking, and had turned her head away.  "No, that's not so."

Sister Rebecca Katherine was very quiet for a moment, and then said, "Ya know, Dearest, this reminds me of something."

Tina made no effort to respond.  She just stared ahead and listened.

"It reminds me of one time, a while back, with Blair."

"Blair?"

"Yes.  It reminds me of the day that I had to make her realize that she had indeed lost her babby.  Oh, it was terrible, it was."

Tina didn't say anything, but the sister could see huge droplets of water in each of her eyes.

"She hadn't seen the baby die, and she was unconscious when Sommer passed, so she was in denial.  She even blamed Todd for letting someone take the baby.  It was a terrible time."  She kept an eye on the woman's expression, which was the same, but tears were spilling.  She said, "It was a horrible day.  I'd been with her, when the baby died.  She even mentioned Sommer letting go of life inside her.  But, she'd forgotten it when time passed, and was convinced her baby was somewhere.  Sad, really.  But I was there, and I knew, and I reminded her, and as hard as it was, she accepted."

Tina was very still.  The sister said, "And I was there when Aiden passed.  I was there when ya found out.  I was there when ya came back from our time in the chapel and Timothy was in the early evening shadows in that room.  Ya said something, to Aiden, in his ear, and ya ran out.  When we came back, Timothy was alone, and he was crying."

"No," she whispered.

"Yes.  I was there for that, and so were ya.  Ya saw it, too.  Ya held his hand, and ya said to me that it wasn't real.  Remember?"

"I . . . yes."  Her voice was distant, small.

"He's gone, Dear."

She leaned onto the nun's shoulder as the clergywoman pulled her in, wrapping an arm around her.  Tina said, "No, Sister.  No," and closed her eyes.  

***

Ray was still under the blanket, when he was startled to jumping by Peter's heavy footsteps in the hallway.  The man bellowed, "Kid?  Where are you, dammit?"

The toddler didn't answer, he just stayed under the blanket.

Peter came into the living room, and stood over the boy, seeing his little feet sticking out from under the cover.  He couldn't help but laugh slightly.  "Hmf, come out of there, you."

He pulled the little boy's legs and turned him over.  The boy was face-up, and he said, softly,  "Don't be mad, Cwabby Man."

Peter picked up the toddler, and put him over his shoulder.  "Come on, we're going outside to the shed."  

He brought the child with him through the doorway, stepping over Connie's left foot, that was pointing from the hallway, where he had beaten her to death, toward the kitchen.  Peter hadn't even thought to shield the child from seeing her: lying, in a strange arrangement, her head covered in blood, her hair soaked in places.  He hadn't originally meant to kill her, but when she fought back, which he was not used to from her, he had wanted her to stop and his instincts to control took over.  She'd told him she was going to get the baby and get them to a safe place, and he'd seen red.  Now that it was done, he felt some kind of relief and another feeling he couldn't identify.

"Pway outside?"  Ray asked.

"We might play, sure," he said, carrying the boy to the shed at the corner of the yard.

***

Todd turned onto the street on which he grew up, and looking in the rear view mirror, saw that Bitsy was crying.  She wasn't sobbing, or hysterical, she simply had streams of tears on both cheeks.  He said, "Momma, it's okay.  Do you want to go back to the hotel?  Blair can take you."

Bitsy shook her head "no," hard.


Blair mumbled under her breath, "Momma can go back, but Blair will do no such thing."

He said, "Are you sure?"

Bitsy nodded, and wiped the tears off her cheeks with her palm.  She nodded again and weakly smiled.

He looked at Blair, who was wringing her hands the way she always did when she was nervous, and for a moment, he regretted bringing her and his mother back to this horror hole.  But before he had time to rethink it, he was in front of the house.  It seemed quiet; very few lights, if any, were on.  He parked.  Bitsy was close to hyperventilating in the backseat; Blair was already putting her hand on the door handle to get out.  Todd said, "Wait.  Both of you."

Blair waited, and looked at him, "He's my baby, Todd."

"Our baby, Blair.  Ours.  I'm with you."  He looked over the seat.  "Momma, you okay?"

She nodded, even though she appeared greenish.

He said, "I'm getting out first, you two wait for me to signal you."

"No,"  Blair said.  "You're not becoming a walking target.  It's all three of us, or you've got yourself a divorce!"

When Todd turned to Bitsy to see her reaction, she nodded fiercely, and folded her arms.

"Women," he said, and all three car doors opened at the same time.

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