Chasing the Monsters: 20 (adult)

By the time they got to the limo, her shoes were off, his shirt was unbuttoned, and her blouse was undone in the front.  He said, "Williams, home, okay?" and closed the window screen between the front and the back seat.

They scooted in across the back seat of the stretch, and she was immediately under him, and his mouth was on her, his tongue against hers in urgency.  She fumbled with his belt, and he pushed her skirt up to her waist.  Pulling the waistband of her panties down, his fingers found her, and she moaned.  She took a moment and whispered, "Look at us, like two kids."

He laughed a moment, which was interrupted by a rush of air from her lungs as he slid two of his fingers inside her.  She groaned and wrapped her legs around his waist.

His pants were at his knees, and he postured, ready for her, and lifted her legs from his waist, and put them both over his shoulders.  Anchoring himself by holding both her hips, he pushed into her, and they both sighed out.  In a moment, she was swept into him, like a missing part of herself, and all she wanted to do was open her mouth and her body to take more of him in.  His combination of kissing her and guiding her hips against his thrusts made her feel like she couldn't get close enough.  He moved his mouth off hers, to lick and suck on her neck, and she said, softly, "God, I love you, Todd."

"I love you," he said, breathlessly, before he stopped in mid-stroke, holding himself there, pulling back from her a little.  He looked at her face, and ran his hand along it, stopping to rest his fingers on her mouth.  He replaced his hand with his lips, and moved his fingers to her lower stomach, and then lower.  He found what he was seeking and touched her, starting to move again inside her, until she called his name into his kisses.  That was all it took for him to let go into her, and fill her ears with his voice, her heart with his love, and her body with himself.

He moved down along her until his head was resting right below her breasts, and he said, "Now that was better than Cord and coffee."

"Mmm hmm."

***

It wasn't long before Williams pulled the limo in front of Unforgettable, and Todd was still asleep on Blair's torso, with his pants at his knees.  She shook him gently.  "Todd, you have to wake up, we're home."

"Oh, Heck," he said, pulling his pants up and zipping.  

She used the intercom, "Williams, don't unlock the doors yet, in case the kids come barrelling out."

"Yes, Mrs. Manning," he said, back.  

She fixed herself as well, and then she and Todd caught eyes.  "We're funny, aren't we?"

"A little on the crazy side, but we're us, Blair," he said, putting his hand at the base of her neck in the back, "But I wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would you," he said, pulling her into a quick kiss, and buttoning his shirt quickly.  

"We have a history with limos," she said.

"I guess we do."

"Todd, remember when, well, I was Marilyn Munroe?  You were jealous then, too.  I can't believe you were jealous of Cord Roberts today."  She tugged at her skirt.  Over his shoulder she saw the door to Unforgettable open, and heard the noise of children's voices.

"I wasn't jealous.  Well, not really.  Here come the troops," he said, finally putting himself together.  He said over the intercom, "It's safe, go ahead."

The doors unlocked just as the kids approached the car.  Todd opened the door, and as he stood up he was jumped on by both Ray and Sam.  

Sam said, "Dad!  YAY!"

Ray copied, "Dad, yay!"

Jack said, "Dad, yay," in a very uninterested voice, as he held Jewel in one arm, facing out to them.

"Hey boys," he said, kissing the two younger ones' heads.

"Hi, Momma's girl," Blair said, putting her hands out to Jewel, and taking her.  "I missed you so much."

Jack said, "Uh, Dad?"

"Yeah?"

Jack pointed on his own chest as if to buttons.  Todd looked down, and his shirt was out of kilter, buttoned wrong, with one tail hanging longer than the other.  "Hmf, now how did that happen?"

Jack raised one eyebrow and said, "You're not fooling anyone.  You two are like teenagers."

"What's all that about?"  Sam asked, "Something mushy?"

"Never mind, Squirt," Jack said, rumpling Sam's hair, and then taking his glasses and running.  Sam followed Jack, and Ray followed Sam, as Jack ran them in circles around the yard, holding up Sam's glasses and saying, "Two blind mice!"

Ray was laughing, his adorable child's laugh, that starts in the gut and pours out like magic. "Two Bwind Mice!" he repeated, and laughed more.

Todd felt emotion welling in his chest as he watched, and then, Blair slipped her hand into his.  "Your daughter wants to see you," she said.

He reached over and took Jewel in one arm, resting her on his shoulder.  She was still very tiny, and light, and he patted her back gently.  "Hey, little girl.  How's my princess?"

She cooed, softly.  "Da da.  Da da da."

He looked at Blair, and she squeezed his hand.  "She loves you.  She knows who her Daddy is."

"I love her," he said, turning his eyes away from Blair to mask the moisture that was forming in them.

She said, "I know, I feel it, too," and rested her head on his shoulder, touching her baby's pink sweater.  "Look, Jack dressed her in this."

"He's . . . he's totally in love with her.  He was from the first second he saw her."

"Yes," she said.  "Should we go in?"

He sighed.  "Let's wait.  Let's just watch them, Blair, for a minute."

She knew what he wanted.  To keep that moment, as long as he could, in the photographs of his mind, before it was gone.  She just stood, next to him, holding on to his hand, her chin balanced on his muscular shoulder, her eyes fixed on his face.  From where she stood, she saw his profile, strong jaw, and his scar, lanced into his cheek; his eyes, hazel and beautiful, with dampness teetering in them; and his hand, strong, covering almost the entire back of their baby girl.  

Remembering him once holding Starr, the same way, she sighed.

***

"Bitsy, come in, and have a seat," Ray said.

"Hello, Dr. Martino.  I mean, Ray."

"It's all right, you can call me whatever you feel comfortable with.  How has your week been?"

"I've been fine, been painting.  Sister Rebecca Katherine saw."

"Saw?"

"Yes.  A particular painting I didn't want anyone to really see.  Of course, Clyde has seen it, but it wouldn't make any difference to him."

He leaned forward.  "What is this painting about?"

"A man."  She stood up and paced, heading for the window.  She moved a curtain to look out.  "It's a beautiful day, I hope the children are outside playing.  After what Peter did to them, can they ever feel happy again in that yard?"

"Sure.  Can't you feel happy again?"

"Maybe.  But not in that house, in Chicago.  Never there."

Ray scribbled some notes.  "Who is in the picture?  Do you want to tell me?"

"No."

"All right, you don't have to.  What can I do for you then, today?"

"Make it all go away.  And you can't."

"No, I can't."

"Make my son whole.  Like, really whole.  Don't let him have any of these memories in his mind."

"Again, I can't do that.  No one can.  But you know Todd has moved on.  You said so yourself, the last time we spoke."

"What about the children?" she turned to Ray, and her face showed distress.

"Have you seen them recently?"

"I saw them, yes, once."

"Since then?"

"No.  I don't want Todd to bring them here.  Last time I saw them at home, Sam cried.  He cried so much, in his sleep.  He woke me.  He was afraid."

"He is still having nightmares?"

"Yes.  At least, when I saw him he was.  I don't want him to  . . . ever want to go with the  sparrows, Dr. Martino."

"Bea, can I ask you about that?  Where did that image come from?  The Time of Dark?"

"No, not the Time of Dark.  Before that."

"Is this something you want to talk about?"

She turned, with her eyes brimming.  "Dr. Martino, do you have children?"

"No, Bea.  I've not had the blessing of that."

"Then you can't know what it's like . . . to . . ."

"Tell me, then.  What is it?"

"The sparrows come from Todd."

***

The tent was set up in the master bedroom suite, and Todd stood back and admired it.  "There.  Not bad.  Good thing the ceiling is so high in here."

"It fits in the family room," Blair said.

"True.  Just seems to fit better here."

"It's perfect," she said, wiping her hands on her thighs.  

"You're perfect.  A real camper.  You helped like an expert."

"I went camping before, you know."

"You?" he laughed, loudly.

"Yes, me!  One of the foster homes I lived in, the family used to camp all the time."  He stopped laughing and listened.   She said, "We used to go on weekends in the summer."

He folded his arms over his chest, "Yeah?  So, what happened with that family?"

She was primping pillows, and setting up materials for smores, and she kept talking, nonchalant and calmly, "They gave me back."

He swallowed.  You've been worried about yourself, and your fucked up family, and for almost twenty years now you've completely ignored her life and what she's gone through.

"Todd?  Get this, will you?  I can't quite lift it."

He walked to her side and picked up the coffee table, and moved it without her help.  She put her hands on her hips.  "Good, that's out of the way, too."

"Blair," he walked to her, and put his hands on her arms.

"Yeah?"

"I . . . never listen to you."

"What?  That's silly.  You listen to me all the time.  All my whining, complaining, my dreams, and things I'm scared of.  Things I want.  You listen to everything I say, Todd.  In fact, I've always loved that about you.  What I say matters."

"No, I mean, I . . ."

She put her finger to his lips.  "Don't, okay?" she whispered.  "It's in the past.  I don't spend much time with it."

She seemed unaffected, and for a moment, he felt out of place.  "I make such a big deal . . ."

"Todd," she was firm, "stop.  Please.  I just don't go there, Todd.  And it's not the same as you. I don't even remember most of it.  It's totally different, and not worth it.  And don't compare us.  You tried to never think of it, and it all came back anyway.  You couldn't push it down.  It doesn't make you weak, Todd.  It's just the way it is."

He stepped closer to her.  "How do you see into me like this?"

"I don't know.  How do you see into me?  It's the same."

"I don't think I've done a great job.  I've . . . never asked you much about your past, I've never given you the chance to tell me about much of it."

"Because I chose not to.  But you let me tell you everything else, all my fears, you take them away if you can.  All my dreams, you make them come true, any way you can.  That's  all, Todd."  She touched his face.  "Please."

It was a statement, not a question.  She wasn't asking.  She was telling him.

"Okay," he said, softly.

"Mom!  Mom!"  Sam ran in, "Mom, Ray found a four-leaf clover!"  Ray was behind Sam, and put his hand out.  The clover was smooshed, and crinkled, and his face saddened.  

"Broke!" he said, and Todd knelt down.  "Let me see," he said, flattening the petals as carefully as he could.  "There, see?  Four leaves."

Ray's face lit up.  "Cwover!"

"Well, that's lucky, especially to Sister Rebecca Katherine and maybe Timothy,"  Blair said.

"Because they're Irish," Sam said.

Jack came in, carting Jewel with him under one arm, and sat down on the sofa.  He held Jewel in a standing position, supporting her under her arms.  He said, "A clover's great, Ray, see, you brought good luck to us."

"Yep," Todd said, standing back up.

"Hey, Jewel's getting strong," Jack said.  He held her up, barely touching, and she balanced well almost on her own.  "Should I let go of her, Mom?"

"If you want.  She'll stand a minute, and then go to her hands and knees, probably."

He did.  She stood still on her own, and then, she almost fell sideways and went to all fours, just as her mother had said.  She crawled over to the coffee table, and worked herself to standing.  

Todd said, "Hey, that's great, Jewel, you did that on your own, Sweetie."  He crouched down.  He could reach her, from where he was, and he touched her head, lovingly, and at the same time, steadied her slightly with his hand on her tiny head. 

Blair said, "She likes to stand up.  She does that sometimes, when she wants something."

Jewel looked at her father, holding on to the coffee table for support.  He said, "You're so strong, Princess.  Good job," and let go of her head.

She smiled, and cooed, and turned toward him, letting go of the table.  She wobbled a minute, and stepped three times toward him, falling into his arms and laughing.  He picked her up, and kissed her cheek.  "You walked!  She walked, Blair!"

Blair smiled at Jewel and clapped her hands lightly.  "You did it, Little Girl!"

She was smiling, babbling a bunch of "da das" and pulling his ear.  

"Wow, this is cool.  Everyone was here the first time she walked," Sam announced.  "This calls for Smores, Mom!"

"I'll start a fire," Jack said.  

Todd put Jewel under his arm like a little package, and Blair heard her chuckle lightly.  He said, "Come on Little One, time for bed."

"No!  Jewel pway with us, Daddy, in the tent,"  Ray insisted.

"Jewel's too little," he said.

"Wittle?"

"Yes, she's too small.  It's her bedtime.  Look, she's yawning," he said, and she was.

"Night, Jewel," he said, kissing her head.  The way he said "Jewel" came out more like "Jew" and Todd always got a kick out of it.  Everyone else took a turn kissing her goodnight, and he walked out with her in his arms, her little hand hooked on his nose.

Blair said, "Your father got to see her walk," and was clearly emotional.  "He was going through so much when Ray walked.  I don't even think he was there for that.  I think we were in Europe."

Jack said, "Good.  Then he got to see it. That's good, Mom."

"Yes," she said, looking down.

"Don't cry, Mom," Sam said.

"Don't cwy, Mom," Ray repeated, handing her the clover.

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