Memories Unlocked #6

The children who were ambulatory had come visiting as soon as Doctor Sanchez had given her permission and Todd had found them a welcome diversion as he waited for his body to recover from the second surgery.  He had managed to entertain even from his bed and when Dr. Sanchez had finally allowed him to get back into a wheelchair, he had made it a point to go onto the children’s ward to see the children who had been unable to come see him.  Now he glanced over at the clock.  Today was the day he had been freed from the cast around his rib cage and lower back and he had just returned from X-ray.  His patience was wearing thin wondering about the outcome of the test.  Where the hell are you, Doctor?  I need some good news.

          Todd looked around the room that had been his home for almost two months. He was frustrated, the more he tried to grasp his memories the more they eluded him.  Although he remembered his first name, he still hadn’t been able to get a handle on his last name, nor the last name of the woman named Viki.  He had a feeling he was related to her but wasn’t sure how.  Todd reached over and picked up the picture of the woman and two children that had been found with him.  They were beautiful.  Were they, like Viki, somehow connected to him?  You need to stop this.  Face it. Even if they are connected to you, what use are you to them?  You’re a half man.  He dropped the picture on the table.  Whoever they are, they’re not here.  This is your life now and you need to decide what you’re going to do with it.  He focused his eyes on his feet and tried once again to get one of them to move. Damn it.  Nothing, not even a toe.  At the sound of footsteps, he looked to the door. He watched as she stopped to talk to his nurse, then waited for her.

           Miguela could feel his eyes on her.  She knew he wanted her to tell him everything was  going to be alright.  She hoped for his sake it was.  She had been informed by the administrator that they were going to have to release him soon because he was no longer in need of urgent care.  As a result, she had spent the morning convincing that same administrator to hire him.   She took the X-rays from his nurse and entered the room.

         “Good Morning, Todd.”

          “Dr. Sanchez.” He nodded in greeting  “So don’t keep me in suspense.  Is everything healed or not?”

****

Sam Vance walked wearily back into the hotel in Saipan.  She was extremely discouraged.  Making her way to the bar she sat down, ordered a scotch and waited for James to arrive.  She was deep in thought when a hand began rubbing her neck and she turned her head as he came in for a kiss.   She melted into the kiss, loving the way he took command.

James tasted the scotch on her lips and with his tongue pushed the kiss to another level, savoring the combination.  He finally broke it off and sat down next to her.  “I’ll have what she’s drinking and get her another.”  He looked into her sparkling amber eyes.   “You’ve got to stop it, you know.  You can’t blame yourself.  It’s a big ocean out there.” He reached over and moved a strand of her auburn hair and tucked it behind her ear.

Sam sighed and licked her lips, still tasting the saltiness of his lips.  She took a moment to admire the man beside her.  He was still damp from the heat in the airplane.  His chest glistened with sweat and she pictured him standing naked in her shower stall.  It took all her effort to turn her mind back to the conversation.  “Maybe, but we’ve spent the last three weeks searching every island in the Marshall Island chain.  You heard the fisherman say the ocean currents had to take him into that area.  After all the trouble I went through getting us clearance for you to fly in there, the man could have at least been on one of the damn islands.” She drank the remaining drops in her first drink and reached for the new glass in front of her.

James dropped his hand down on her arm stopping her from taking a second drink.  “So does that mean you’re giving up.” His hand moved slowly up her arm and came to rest on her shoulder, his fingers beginning to play up and down her neck.

Sam responded to his caress by tilting her head slightly, giving him more access..  A little moan of enjoyment escaped her lips and then she replied.  “No way.  I don’t believe he’s dead.  From the first moment I met the guy, I could tell he wasn’t just your average Joe.  There was even a moment at one point that the guy actually scared me.  He was, and I’m betting, still is a force to be reckoned with.   He found a way to survive on that big ocean.  I just have to figure out where he ended up.”  Sam squirmed.  James’ hand had wandered down and she was having trouble keeping focus. Suddenly all she wanted to do was get in that cool shower with James.  She picked up her drink, “Um, let’s take this talk to my room.” she said huskily. James laughed, grabbed his drink and followed her to the elevator.

****

Miguela walked toward Todd. “The x-rays show that your back is healing nicely.  So it’s time to check you out.  We’ve been over this before.  Just because the bones have healed, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have sensation in your lower extremities yet.  I don’t want you to feel discouraged.  Now, are you ready?”

      “Doc, I’ve been ready for months.  Let’s do this.  If I’m going to be stuck like this, I need to know so I can get my life back on track and figure out what I’m going to do next.” Todd waited passively as she examined his back, then she moved in front of him and removed the blanket covering his legs.

        Miguela was looking for any signs indicating he had some sort of feeling below his waist.  She tapped for reflexes and there was still no response.  She then took a small pin and ran it down his right thigh.  For a minute she thought she saw a ripple in the muscle underneath. She looked up sharply at Todd.  “Did you feel that?”

        Todd looked at her and answered her honestly. “I didn’t feel a thing.  There’s no change is there?”

        “I’m not sure.”  She moved to his right foot and ran the pin across the bottom of it. This time there was nothing.  Maybe she had been mistaken.   Switching to his other leg, she started with his foot and again got no response.  It was disappointing.  The scans told her that the bones in his back were fully healed and the nerves were still intact.  She had hoped that by now Todd would have some feeling.  She lifted the leg and bent it, keeping an eye on Todd to see if he experienced any pain to his back by the movement, but again it was obvious he felt nothing.  “I’m sorry Todd.”

        Todd had known it was a long shot.  He smiled ruefully. “I guess my days as a running back are over for good now.”

        Miguela looked at him “You were a running back?  It’s good to know you’re at least getting your memory back.  Don’t give up yet on your running days.  There’s still an outside chance that you get some feeling back too.”

         Todd was taken aback.  She was right, he had thought he was making a joke, but he knew in his heart that at one time in his life he had played football.  “I guess so,  Huh!  I can remember something like that but still have no idea what my full name is.”  He said bitterly. You’re doing it again , feeling sorry for yourself. Stop It!  “Okay, so we’ve determined that I’m going to be stuck in a wheelchair.  Now what?  I can’t stay here any longer.  Any suggestions?”

       “The hospital isn’t kicking you out.  You still have a little more healing to do.  I know things don’t look very promising right now, but we’ll start you working with a physical therapist.  They’ll teach you the means to get around without the aid of a second party.”

       “Gee thanks.  That’s great Doc but what about after that?   I need to be doing something. This sitting here doing nothing but trying to figure out who I am, is driving me crazy.  Hell, if it weren’t for the kids, I would have gone nuts weeks ago.” Frustrated Todd slammed his fists down on his legs. “Stupid dead things! I might as well not even have legs!”

        Startled at his outburst, Miguela put a hand on his shoulder. “Todd, stop.  It’s never easy for anyone to accept new limitations.  I had really hoped to see some signs today.  Everything in your scans indicated you should have some feeling and I’m at a loss to explain why you don’t.  I know you feel like you’re worthless since you’re not whole, but that’s not true.  You mean a great deal to the children patients stuck in this hospital.  They see a man who is kind and gentle, they also don’t care whether you can walk or not.  You give them your time and interest and you take their minds off of their real illnesses.  That’s a good thing.  Most of those children are here because like you and your legs, they too are facing some pretty tough challenges. Unfortunately, their battles might end up being too hard to defeat.”

         Todd looked into Miguela’s eyes and saw something he didn’t like. “What do you mean?  I know they’re sick, but that’s why they’re here, right?  You can make them better and they can go home.” When she didn’t agree, Todd’s heart sunk.  “No, it’s not true.  I know Li Kawn’s been pretty sick, but it’s just a setback.  Isn’t it?”

       “Todd, I’m sorry.  I’ve said too much already.”

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