Failings of the Fathers: 17

Todd threw his keys on the small table at the door, and helped Bea off with her coat.  "Come on, Momma.  Let's go up and see Blair."

They ascended the stairs.  It was moderately quiet, Ray must have been napping early.  They went into the bedroom, and Blair was napping as well.  She woke up and looked at them.  "Hello," she said.

Bea waved.  Todd said, "We've figured it all out.  She had a bad dream about Peter.  And I told her not to worry.  If he's alive, I'll kill the son of a bitch dead.  She thinks that's fine."

Blair's eyes bulged a little.  "Okay, that surprised me."

"Well, it's a done deal.  Here's the dream she had, written out," he handed her the paper.  "And, the answer's simple.  If he is alive, then he dies, no matter what, before he touches one hair on anyone's head."

"A bit violent, isn't it?"  she said.  She continued reading.

"No. Not for him."

Blair looked at Bitsy, who shook her head "no" as well.

"All right, then I'm in.  Seriously."  She looked at Todd, and he nodded once, encouraging her. 

"Momma, don't let Blair fool you.  She's a tough one."  Todd said.  

"Well, now that this is settled, what shall we do for dinner?"  Blair said, acting as if everything was fine and leaving the stress of Bitsy's current emotional condition behind.

"Let's let Momma pick," he said.

"Sure!"

Bitsy took her pad and pen and wrote.  I don't mind.  Anything is fine.

"How about Sister Rebecca Katherine's fave?  That smelly stuff?"  Todd said.

"Do we have things to make the smelly stuff?"  Blair said.  "It might smell, but it's so good."

Bitsy looked from one to the other, enjoying their banter.  Finally, Todd said, "I'll go get it then, if we don't.  I'd have Perzno get it on the way home with the boys, but that wouldn't make much sense with a copter."

"No, not much at all."

"I'll scope out the kitchen,"  he said.

Bitsy sat by Blair, and looked at her belly.  Blair took her hand and put it where the movement of Jewel had been the last hour.  She smiled, when she felt the little girl moving.  "She's very active," Blair told her.

Bitsy smiled, and wrote:  I've never had a baby.

"I know, but you're still a Momma.  I am to Sam, too."

I wanted to . . . be Todd's mother, so much.  I loved him the moment I saw him.  They brought him to me, all in white, he almost glowed.

"I love him, too.  Very much."

Everyone knows.  I can see it, so much.  He's so happy with you.  Like he's complete.

"I feel the same.  Don't worry about anything, Momma.  Everything will be fine.  Um, Momma, do you remember anything about the dream with the baby?  Like, when did it take place, or where?"  She couldn't help herself.  She just had to know.

She shook her head "no."

"Well, that doesn't matter.  Would you like to see my list of baby things, and look through the catalogs with me?"

She became happily excited, and shook her head affirmatively.

***

"Dr. Martino, ya wanted to see me?"  The nun made her way into his office.

"Yes, I did, Sister.  As part of the internship, I would be teaching you about consults, and things like that.  In this case, I want to consult with you, not only as a learning experience, but because you know the parties involved and may be able to shed light on it."

"Certainly."

"It's about Todd and his mother."

"Ah, yes," she said, and flashed on her nightmare.  Reminding herself she was working, she pushed it aside.

"Yesterday, Todd brought Bea for a visit.  She was completely unhinged.  Seems she had a terrible nightmare, and it blurred the lines of reality for her."

"Nightmare?"  the clergywoman heard her own voice waver.

"Yes.  It was clearly put there by Todd's previous nightmare, the night before, that she comforted him about.  She took those images and they became a nightmare of her own."

"Really.  That's to be expected, I'd think."

"Well, yes.  However, here's where it gets a bit sticky.  Todd shared his dream, she then had one.  She had a complete panic attack and was rushed to the hospital.  He brings her here, she is nearing a breakdown in my office, because I cannot convince her it's not real.  I call for his help, and he comes in, and . . . "

"He agreed with her, eh?"

"Well, not exactly.  I think you might need to know about the dreams first."

Her breath caught.  "Peter Manning?" she said, absently.

"Yes.  But not the way you'd think."

"Alive?  Wanting to take their children?"

He put his hands through his hair.  "Yeah, that's right."  He was puzzled.

"Oh Dear," she said, getting up and walking to the window.

"Sister?"

"Go on, Doctor."

"Nevertheless, he ends up telling her that she hasn't got to worry because if her dream comes true, and Peter is alive, he'll murder him.  And then, takes her home."

She was silent for a moment.

"His pathology, which I felt I was instrumental in repairing, is now feeding off her pathology, and he is feeding into her delusions as well.  I advised him not to take her home, but he did anyway.  He claimed she needed her family.  Now you know how I feel about Todd, but this was not ordinary, to say the least.  Sister?  Sister Rebecca Katherine?"  Ray attempted to bring her back to earth.

"Doctor, do ya believe there is any spirituality in the world?  In other words, do ya put any stake in God, or spiritual matters?"

"Does that relate to this, Sister?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it does," she said, walking back to the chair and sitting again.  "It matters greatly."

"I'm all ears, considering I'm feeling a lack of answers right about now."

"The two of them are having similar dreams.  Why can't there be something more to it?"

"More as in what?  It's clear he planted the ideas in her mind for her."

"Possibly.  But when she comforted him, what did she say?  Did she say that she believed Peter was alive?  Or did she counter his fears with the fact that he must be dead?"

"I don't know that, Sister."

"Well, likely, she told him Peter was dead.  She told him that the man could never come back and hurt his family. I'd bet on that."

"Your point?"

"My point is that there could be a different reason or explanation as to why she had the dream, eh?  Not that she just copied ideas from Todd and integrated them."

"What in the world makes you think this, Sister?  It's obvious he gave her the ammunition to develop this nightmare."

"Well, Doctor.  God tests our faith.  What would you say if I told ya that I had the same dream last night?"

His face went completely blank.

She continued, "That I also had a dream, of a tall, ominous figure, who was threatening to take the Manning children."

"I don't know how to take that, Sister," he said.

"I don't either, Dr. Martino."

"Ray, please.  Ray is fine."

"Ray.  Ya know, that little boy, y'ar namesake, is the age at which Todd began to feel Peter's wrath.  Ya realize that?"

"Yes.  But back to this topic, perhaps Todd's comments to you fueled your nightmare as well."

"That's just it, Doctor.  Todd has not spoken to me in days.  And Bea certainly couldn't."

"You had the same dream as Bea, the same night?"

"I am not sure it's exactly the same dream, but the characters and the meaning are identical, aren't they?  This is playing with y'ar sense of logic.  I realize that.  But I can tell ya, in my work, throughout my life, there have been many times like this, that cannot be explained away with a book or a diagnosis."

He half smiled.  "Was this my teachable moment, or yours, Sister?"

"I think both, Doctor.  In my life, I've had things, I call them knowings, where I have feelings about events happening.  I ignored it for years, prayed about it.  The Lord has seen fit to keep me having them.  My most recent was that Aiden O'Farrell, a man in the RA21 that helped saved Todd's life as well as Patrick Thornhart's, was the biological son of one of my brothers."

"And?"

"He was.  He is Timothy's son."

"I've heard about that reunion.  I'm . . . rather stunned, to say the least, Sister."

"I understand.  I've had knowings other times, Ray.  And this nightmare, I am not sure of.  Because it's a dream, I am not ready to completely accept it as a knowing, however, because of Bea . . ."

"She had a dream about the baby," Ray offered.  "She had a dream it was tiny enough to be in a basket."

"And now, Blair knows the baby will be born early.  And it will be small, won't it?"

"Yes.  According to Bea and Todd, that's accurate.  But this still does not mean . . ."

"Bea has lost the ability to speak., and pardon my interruption.  Sometimes, the brain finds other ways to succeed.  Ya know this to be true.  Ya also know that science proves only a small portion of our brains are actually used."

"I'm familiar."

"Well, I am only saying not to discount what they are experiencing.  The two of them, Todd and Bea, have experienced horrors neither one of us can imagine.  That is a bonding of deep proportions.  There is logic to the belief that they are more connected than most people, by virtue of this trauma they shared.  Am I correct?"

He sat back and folded his arms.  "Yes, I suppose you are."

"Then throw in a bit of God's warnings, and what Todd's done is not to be questioned quite as much, eh?"

"I'm not sure what to say, honestly."

"That's all right," she said, getting up to leave.

"Sister, in your dream . . ."

"Mine?"

"Yes."

"He was black as The Devil, Doctor.  Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Could you see him?"

"Barely.  But I knew I'd never seen him before in my life, I did."

"I've done research on one Peter Manning, as part of my work with Todd."  He went into the desk drawer.  Bringing out a folder, he opened it and fished out a photograph.  "Is this the man you saw?"

In seeing the photo, she felt a strange pressure in her chest.  "I can't be sure, because the face was not clear.  But the rest of it could be.  The height, the shape of the head and face, the stature.  And, the vibe," she handed it back.

"I see."

"Y'ar doubting.  St. Thomas was also a doubter, and he doubted The Lord.  Y'ar looking for answers, which we all naturally do.  But, Ray, there may not be one, right now, for this.  Y'ar seeking an explanation, something based in logic.  I say there is none."  She headed to the door.  "I trust ya won't mind that I have a few hours off, then?"

"Not at all, but you don't have to, Sister.  I'm not disciplining you, in any way."

"I know, Doctor.  I have to see Todd.  Ya understand.  As a human being, not an intern, I have to let him know that I believe something terrible may happen."

She flounced out of the room in a whirl of black and white material.  Ray was left behind, with the photo of Peter Manning on his desk, staring up at him.  "If you are alive, you sick, sick man, what does this mean for Todd?"

***

Todd called upstairs, "Momma, Blair?  As you can smell, I found the stuff to make that meal that Sister Rebecca Katherine always makes!"

The doorbell rang just as he said the last word, and he added, "I'll get the door."

When he opened it, she was standing there, in her usual garb.  "Hello, Todd, good to see ya," she said, hugging him.

"Well, Sister, nice to see you, too.  How did you get here?"

"Are ya forgetting that ya gave me my own driver?"

"Oh, that's right.  I did almost forget.  What's up?  Is it my bro?  Aiden?"

"Eric is fine.  Finished his second exploratory surgery.  Todd, I have to talk to ya.  It's important."

"Well, come in.  You might smell something terrible.  It's your recipe."

"I do recognize it, yes.  Seems ya did it just right.  Smells exact, Dear One."

She sat in the family room.  He said, "Do you want something, tea or something?"

"No, Lad, just sit with me."

"All right," he said.

"Todd, I had a strange experience today."

"Well, you work at Mountainview, that's to be expected."

"I had a conversation with Dr. Martino."

Todd became uneasy.  "I'm not putting my mother back there.  She doesn't belong there anymore."

"Todd, no, I didn't come here for that."

"Then what?"

"In talking with the doctor, it seems, well, that I've had the same dream that ya and y'ar mother have had.  In fact, I dreamed mine the same night that Bea did."

He didn't move.  "So?"

"Ya told y'ar mother that if Peter Manning were alive, ya'd kill him.  Ya believed her."

"No, I didn't,"  he said, getting up.  "I told her that, yeah, but I didn't believe her.  I said it to calm her.  I figured if she knew he couldn't hurt us, she'd get over it."

"Todd, I am telling ya, Lad.  I had the same dream as your mother.  And I don't know Peter."

She watched him, pace across the room, and run his hand through his hair.  His movements had become jerky and awkward; he seemed confused.  "So?  If you don't know Peter, it could have been anyone in the dream."

"Lad, come, and sit . . ."

"No, I'm not going to sit.  I'm . . . fine right here," he said, with his back to her.

She spotted it like a black ink mark on white.  He was terrified.

"Please, I only came to say that perhaps ya might look into this.  Is there a way, somehow that he . . ."

"No."

She knew she had to stop.  He can't handle the thought, Rebecca Katherine Broderick, stop now, enough.

"All right.  How is Blair doing then?"  She changed the subject.

"She's fine, she's on bedrest."

"Ah, trying to keep the babe at home a bit longer?"

"Yeah, the doctor said the baby's ready to live outside Blair, but very . . .  small."  

She could tell he was lost in thought.  She said, "As long as she's healthy, that is what matters."

"Yep," he crossed the room to the chair opposite her, and finally sat.

"I'm glad she's doing so well.  And Bea, is she adjusting to life with the children around?"

He sat forward.  "Peter can't be alive, Sister."

"All right, Todd.  I heard ya, Dear."

"He died."

"I know that."

"In front of me, of a heart attack."

"Yes."

"He's not alive.  Right?"

She didn't answer.  Instead, she said, "Todd, it's all right.  I understand what y'ar feeling."

"I don't think you do," he said, leaning back in the chair and gazing up.

"I might, but ya could try me," she said.

"He can't be alive.  He died, and I watched.  If he's alive . . ."

"If?"

"I'm not saying I believe it.  If he is, my sons . . . Jack, he's a teenager, my little boy, Ray, is . . ." he couldn't go on.

"They're not ya, Todd."

"I know, I know that, thank God."

"They're not because they have a loving father."

"No, Sister, this isn't about that."

"But it is.  Y'ar not y'ar father.  Ya have a deep love for those children."

His eyes were brimming.  He said, "He is not alive, Sister."  With resignation, but barely able to utter it, he added, "He's never coming back to hurt us."

She realized it was too much for him to bear.  "Ya're right.  Just remember, those boys are not facing what ya did.  They have a caring, devoted father.  He will protect them at all costs."

"I will," he said, staring back at her.  He wiped his face on his sleeve.  "Sister?"

"Yes?"

"The dreams.  They're coincidences, put there by fears."

"That's as good an explanation as any."

"I caused my mother's dream."

"Very likely.  She was there to comfort ya, and then she had the same."

"That was my fault."

"Not intentionally, but perhaps."

He stopped.  "But what about yours?"

"What about it?"

"What caused it?"

She stood, "I'd guess my old lady nonsense and wild imagination.  With everything that has happened, it's likely what you are saying.  Fear.  Fear can get the best of us."

He looked up at her, and the way the light was hitting his face, he looked so young, like Jack, and his hazel eyes were slightly bluish.  "You don't believe that, do you, Sister?"

"My Boy, I don't think it matters what I believe, eh?  It matters what ya believe, and what ya can accept and what ya cannot.  Either way, ya know it will show itself, with time.  I only wanted ya to know that I had that dream.  It can mean nothing but a reflection of my own fears.  I didn't even see the man's face.  It could have been anyone, it could have been symbolic.  It could have meant many things."

"What exactly happened in the dream?"  she could see he was venturing out beyond what he wanted to hear.  "What did this man say?"

"He said 'he wanted the children.'  Nothing much more than that."  She had already decided that she was not telling him that he wanted their souls.

"What children?"

"He didn't name them."

"Okay.  Where were you, in the dream?"

"On the cliffs."

"Let me guess.  Ireland."

"Yes.  So you see, could have meant anything.  Nothing specific."

"And it's totally different from our dreams.  He's always by the bed."

"A matter of coincidence," she said, heading to the foyer.  "If ya need me, Todd, ya do know how to reach me."

"Yep, I do.  Do you want to stay for dinner, Sister?"

"I can't, Dear, I'm needed back at Mountainview.  I love ya, and the family.  And Bea.  I hope to see ya all very soon.  My best to Blair, Dear Heart."  She kissed his cheek.

He opened the door, and she stepped into it.  Turning back, she said, "And take care of that blasted smell," and headed off.

He closed the door after her.  

I want everything you ever loved.  

The lighter flamed.  

That scar.  

He took the stairs, two at a time, to get to Blair.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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Failings of the Fathers: 16

Todd walked his mother to Ray's door.  "Are you sure you are going to be all right, Momma?"

She nodded, and was all smiles.  The door to Ray's office opened, and Todd followed her inside.

"Todd, good to see you, as always."  Ray said.

"Same here.  Momma had an attack at three this morning.  We thought she had a heart attack.  I rushed her to LH.  It was panic.  She's fine, just might need to talk a while."

Bitsy was already smiling and sitting in her chair, getting her pad out, and writing, not frantically or in desperation, something for Ray.  She looked up, coy, and smiled at Todd and gave him a small wave.  

He smiled back and awkwardly said, "Okay, then, Momma, I'll be outside working in the limo.  Be back in an hour."

As soon as the door closed behind him, Bea was up on her feet, and frantic.  She raced up to Ray, who had not even had a chance to sit down at his desk, and foisted the memo pad against his chest.  He took it, and she grabbed both his arms with both of her hands and gripped him in fear.  He read the pad aloud: 

He's alive, and he wants their children.

***

"Hey, you're awake.  It's dinner time, a day later."  Tina said.

Aiden tried to focus his eyes on Tina, who was standing by his bed.  She was leaning over and her hair, that had added length in the last few months, brushed against his cheek.  He said, "I'm here and I'm living, Dear Little Tina."

"I see that," she said, taking his hand and sitting down near him.

"What did they find, Pappy?"

Timothy was sitting as well, but further off.  He moved his chair closer.  "Several masses of scar tissue.  Most likely, they cause some of the pain.  But not the memory loss."

He looked to the ceiling. "Why do I feel my brother would understand more of this?"

"He might," Timothy said.

"Have ya spoken to him?  How's Blair?"

"Everything there seems to be fine.  Your aunt had a frightening knowing, not about ya, about what I suspect is Todd.  Otherwise, so far, Blair and baby are well."

"Maybe he can understand, then.  When all is done, and he's not worried about the new babby.  Maybe he can try and piece this together,"  Aiden said.  

"He may at that."

"How are the guys?"  Aiden asked.  He always had a penchant for friends and made them easily.

Tina answered, "They're fine.  They were all at snack last night, sitting at the next table.  In fact, the tall one bumped me with his chair."

"He's different, that one," Aiden said.  "Sort of a crabby old guy.  Has a lot of things to work out."

"Well, anyway, they were there.  Malcolm, Miguel and Calvin.  They don't miss a meal or snack, ever."

"That sounds like them.  I wouldn't be either, if I could.  Miguel would eat everyone's if they don't want it.  He's always hungry."

"They're bringing a light dinner, I know that," Tina said.

"I'll be ready for it.  Y'ar wasting your time here, with me.  Ya could be out there, doing other things.  Finding y'ar way.  Finding love,"  he said, tenuously.  

She smiled, tightening her grip on his hand lightly.  "Not interested.  I'm fine here."

***

"Bea, all right, calm down.  Come on," Ray said.  She was holding onto both of his arms for dear life, to the point of her knuckles turning whitish.  She so wanted to talk, and he could see it; her mouth kept opening and closing, over and over, and finally, he had to take his own hands and hold her arms to make her look at him.  "Bea!" he raised his voice, "I will help you.  I will listen.  You have to calm down first."

She, breathing heavy with tears racing down her face, let go of him, and wrung her hands.  She began to pace wildly.  "Bea, listen to me, please."

She stopped and looked at him, still twisting her hands in fear.

He said, "Sit down, please."

She did, still crying, and took her pad and furiously wrote.

At the same time, Ray went to his place across from her, and waited.  He said, "Bea.  Calm down.  It's all right, I'm not going anywhere.  You just had an incident, right?  You went to the hospital?  Do you want to go back there?"

She looked up and shook her head against the idea.

"Then please, calmly.  Calmly."

She finished writing and handed it to him.

Blair.  She went to the doctor and was told the baby is tiny but will live outside her and will be born soon.  That goes with my dream.

"Ah, is that was this is about?"

She vehemently shook her head "no."

"All right, then what is it?"

I had another dream, last night.  It was with Peter.  He is alive.  He wants to come and take Todd's sons away and teach them how to be men.  That means he will hurt them with his body and his baseball bat and his lighter.  That means he will hurt my Jack and Sam and Little Ray.  I can't let this happen.  I have to find him, and I know what I must do.

Ray was lost in a sea of both confusion and disappointment.  Bea had come so far where her delusional thinking was concerned, and a few weeks out of Mountainview and she was back there, not where she started necessarily, but getting dangerously close.

"No, Bea.  Dreams are not predictions.  Even if the dream about the baby is true, it doesn't mean all of your dreams are true."

He's out there.  He is coming.  He wants the children.  THE CHILDREN!  Please, you have to help me.

"I'm trying, Bea.  You have to calm yourself, please.  Or I will have to give you some medication.  Please, don't let me have to do that."

She broke down, crying into her hands, silently.  

Ray's heart went out to her.  "Bea."  He leaned over gently and took her hands, and moved them off her face.  "Have you ever had dreams before?"

I don't remember many.  I started having dreams again, that I remembered, about two months ago.  I don't remember many others.

"Did any of the other dreams in the last two months come true?"

She shook her head, "no."

"All right.  Then, you do see that there is a chance that this one won't either?"

She looked broken.  He was not sure how to proceed, but he let his question stay on the table.

She pulled back inside herself.  He could see her eyes retracting.  She hugged herself, just as her son often did.  She pulled her legs up onto the chair under her.  

He softly said, "Bea.  I will call for Todd, will that help?"

She looked at him with terror in her face.  She did not resist, or shake her head.  She just looked away and dazed off.  Silent.

He called Todd's cell and quickly conveyed the message to him, and went to her chair, crouching in front of it.  "Bea, it's all right, it was only a dream."

Todd was there in minutes, and pushed the door open.  "Ray, what's . . . Momma?"  he went to the chair, and saw her dazing off, "Momma, what's wrong?"

She went immediately into Todd's arms.  "It's all right, Momma," he said, and could feel her shaking.

"What is this about, Ray?"  he asked, with her cowering.

"She's had a dream, and it frightened her."

She shook her head "no," as to tell Ray to stop.

"Bea, Todd will understand."

She broke free of Todd's arms and shook her head more, and took the pad and wrote NO! in large lettering.

Todd said, "Momma, it's okay.  Ray does not have to tell me anything.  I know what this is about.  I had a dream, the other night.  It was spooky, been recurring, the same one I told you about."

With Peter?  she wrote. 

"Yes.  Well, in trying to keep Blair from being disturbed, I went into the hall, Momma found me and comforted me.  I told her what my dream was about.  I think it affected her poorly.  This is my fault, isn't it?  This is because of my dream."

She shook her head again.  She pointed to the NO! on her pad.

She took the notepad and tore it from Ray's hand.  Not wanting her son to have guilt, she decided instead to let him read.  He did, and said, softly, "Momma.  This is because of my dream, I had the same one, remember?  I had that dream, Momma, and then you did."

Her frustration was so palpable, that both Ray and Todd became more concerned.  She seemed frantic to make them understand, and somehow couldn't.  "It's all right," Todd said, "Momma, it's okay."

"Todd's probably right, Bea.  You just felt so sorry about Todd's dream that you had one, too."

She went to the chair and back into herself.  Todd went in front of her, and said, "No, Momma, don't leave us."

She touched his hair, and then removed her hand, hugging herself again and drifting off.  He said, "Momma?"

Ray examined her.  "She's not catatonic.  She's just giving up.  She can't communicate to us what she wants to, and she just gave up.  For now."

Todd was beside himself and stood up.  "What can we do?"

"I'm not sure.  She's convinced Peter is coming back to get your kids.  That he's alive."

You thought you could hide from me?

Todd shook it loose from his head.  "He, uh, died in front of me."

"I realize that."

"She's afraid.  She's afraid that if he comes back he'll hurt the boys, like he hurt . . . us."

Ray knew Todd was also talking for himself.  "Bea, Peter is not alive.  Todd knows that.  Todd saw him die."

"Momma," he went back to crouching in front of her chair.  "Please, Momma, it's all right, look at me."

She lifted her head and did.

He said, "Momma, he won't hurt anyone.  I can promise you that."  She leaned forward until her head was on his shoulder.  He patted her back.  "He won't hurt us anymore.  I know he won't."

She moved back into the chair, and stared off again, with her arms around her own chest.  Her tears were steady and quiet.

Ray motioned Todd to step outside the door.  As they did, the doctor said, "Todd, I think she needs to stay here with us, at Mountainview, for a few days."

"No.  Absolutely not.  She lives with us now."

"Todd, I'm advising you against taking her home.  She's fragile.  Another near miss could mean a lot of damage.  She's teetering between reality and fantasy right now."

"Then we're both crazy, because so am I."

"What are you saying?"

"I think someone burned me.  My mother's dream was right about our baby.  Okay, it's not right about Peter, but it makes sense she'd think so.  And since I'm the one who put the idea there, I'm the only one who can take it away.  She needs to be with the family, Ray."

"Todd, I'm advising you again, to let us care for her.  For a few days."

"No, I'm taking her home.  She belongs with us.  She'll be all right, I just have to . . . let her know that."

"How would you ever do that?  She's convinced otherwise."

"Because if that fucker is alive, for any reason, in any way, I'll kill him dead.  No questions, no passing go, and no $200.  Dead.  So she has nothing to worry about, does she?"

Ray raised his eyes skyward, as Todd pushed past him into the room, and got his mother into her coat. "Momma, it's going to be all right, trust me.  Thanks, Ray.  We'll see you soon."

"I'm telling you not to do this, Todd,"  the therapist called after him.

"You're wrong, this time, Doc,"  he called back.

He ushered her out of the building and into the cold air, down the slate path, and into the limo.  Once inside, he handed her a pad.  "Don't be afraid, Momma.  Tell me everything."

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Failings of the Fathers: 15

It was nearing bedtime, and well after dark, and Sister Rebecca Katherine was finally feeling settled at Mountainview.  She had a beautiful, airy room, with high ceilings, on one of the upper floors.  Her window overlooked the lake.  She knew her nephew, Todd, definitely had something to do with it.  She knelt in prayer for the evening, and turned in.

Before falling asleep, her mind rested on her brother, overseas, with his newly-found son, and the trials they must have been enduring.  I will call them tomorrow, it's four in the morning there, now.  She hoped with all hope that Aiden, or Eric, was doing well and recovering.  She could only imagine how Timothy was feeling: a newly adopted son, in the states, who had a great deal of turmoil in his life, and his biological son, located after all these years apart, dealing with a life threatening ailment.  She closed her eyes and welcomed sleep.

***

"This Manning family night is turning out to be a great one," Jack said, putting Sam over his shoulder like a sack.  He'd seen his father do it often.  He spun Sam around a few times.  

"That's fun!"  Sam said.

"Shh, Sam, not so loud.  The Road Runner finally went to sleep."  Todd said.

"If I had to chase him one more time, I think I'd collapse," Jack said.  "Off to bed for you, Squirtnation."

"Oh brother, you giant clumsy oaf, don't smack my head against something," they heard Sam's voice trail off as Jack carted him to his room.  Bitsy was smiling, and looking into the fire.  

Blair said, "Those two are something.  Sam's getting quite a vocabulary for a little guy."

"He's smart, like his reporter father."

"Or his mother."

"Or both," he said, kissing her delicately.

They looked back to the sitting room, and Bitsy had fallen asleep against the couch cushions that Jack had set up for her to rest on as she drew.  Todd said, "She . . . had a meltdown today."

"What happened?"  They spoke in very soft tones.

"I told her she was a great mother, because she's great with Ray.  She broke down."

"Oh, Todd," Blair said, compassionately, "She's so full of guilt.  I can tell you one thing, I would be."

"It's all done with, Blair.  I wish she could see that."

"She sees.  She just can't forgive herself."

"I want her to."

"I do, too, but you can't make that happen.  Just how we couldn't make you forgive yourself for Marty.  It took years."

"Still not positive it's completely done."

"See?  It's up to the person to figure out.  Bring her to Ray's tomorrow, maybe."

"She needs to anyway.  She missed an appointment a couple of days back.  We just forgot."

"Well, then, make that a goal for tomorrow.  The poor, precious soul.  She loves you very much, Todd."

"I know.  I love her, too.  He broke her, as a person.  I can see it now.  I couldn't see it then, I was just too little."

"You know, I'm not sure he ever broke you.  Not really.  You stood up to him, for years."

"He didn't, I broke myself.  I shattered, when I was fourteen, and almost killed him.  I'm amazed I blocked out all the years before it, but that's what I did.  A piece of me just hid it away."

He had a faraway look in his eyes.  Blair said, "My Love, let's not.  This was a grand night, for all of us.  Let's just let it be like that."

"Should I wake her?"  He got up, and went to change into his pajamas as they talked.  

"Leave her be.  She chased Ray everywhere today."  Blair said, and slid down into the bed.  "Get her a blanket."

He did, and covered her gently.  She woke at the light touch of the blanket.  He said, "Momma, sorry to wake you."

She shrugged, and started to get up.  She waved to Blair.  Blair said, "Goodnight, Momma."

She kissed Todd's cheek, and he said, "Night, Momma."  She padded off to her room, sketchpads under her arm.

He went back to the bed and got in next to his wife.  "Hold me?"  she asked.

"Of course," he said, and spooned her, wrapping his arms protectively around her and the baby.  

***

Bitch.  You think you're rid of me?  That you and your pansy-ass son are safe?"

She sat up in the dark, her mouth open in a silent scream, then breathing heavily.  She looked around for familiarity, and finally realized where she was.

I'm at Todd's house.  It was a dream.  It was just a dream.  She rocked.  No.  He's not alive.  He's dead, and he's not coming back.  He's never coming back.

She closed her eyes to squeeze out the dark images that had just moments before flown through her mind:  Peter, at her bedside, with a bat.  She remembered the baseball bat.  She knew exactly what it could do. 

He was saying things.  He said he would get Todd's sons from him and make them into men, all three of them.  He's dead.  I'm wrong, he's dead, he can't hurt them.  But he said it.  He said he would make them men, and oh, God, I know what that means.  I know.  He will want to break them.  Strong Jack.  Innocent Sam.  Darlng Little Ray.   She knew he would want to straighten out a rebel like Ray.  He'd done it to Todd.

She got up and paced, wringing her hands.  I was dreaming.  Dreams are not real.  Dr. Ray has told you, they're not.  They're not.

But the other dream, about the baby?  The baby is small, and pretty, and safe?

And the other dreams, of seeing My Angel again, they were real.  They came true.

Not this!  Not this one!

She ran from her room and into the hallway.  Not sure what to do next, she stood outside Todd and Blair's door, frozen with fear.  Suddenly, she realized she was breathing too fast, and too much, and couldn't stop.  Panic set into her chest, and it tightened.  She had no choice but to fall onto the door, and pound with her fists.  Pain seared through her chest, and she tried again, this time, missing, because the door was not there, the door was gone, it had . . . opened.

In the amber light of the fire, Todd watched his mother fall to the ground just inside their bedroom.

***  

"I do not know ya, Sir, so kindly take y'ar leave."  Sister Rebecca Katherine said.  She was in nun's garb, standing on what appeared to be a cliff in Ireland.  Opposite her was a tall, looming figure.  She could not make out the face.

"You know who I am.  And you know what I want."

"I insist to tell ya, I have no idea.  Now, if ya don't mind, I'm off to St. Patrick's."

"I mind."  He blocked her way.  "I mind that you intefere."

"In what?  I've never seen ya before in me life!"

"You're in the way, old woman.  Always have been.  Step aside, and let me do my work."

Fear gripped her, and she clutched at her rosary.  "Are ya The Devil?"

The figure laughed, a menacing tone dancing in it.  "You could say that, if you want."

"What do ya want, then?  Make y'ar case."  She continued to face him, holding her beads in her fist.  

"I want the children." The dark man said.  "I want their souls."

She squeezed the rosary tighter and tighter in her hand as he turned and walked away from her.  Finally, he was gone, and in her palm, she could see that the cross had pierced her palm.  She bled.

The nun sat up abruptly and instinctively checked her hand.  Nothing.  "Lord Jesus, please," she said aloud.  "Please bring my heart peace from that nightmare."

She closed her eyes and began to pray.  After a few minutes, she felt calmer, and said aloud, "A dream, Creena.  A night creeping.  Ya ate your snack too late this night, ya did."

She sat quietly, trying to rinse her mind free of her thoughts.  Instead, she leaned over and took the phone.  It was three a.m., but she knew what that meant in Swiss time.

"Hello, and top of the morning!"  Timothy said.

"Ah, dear brotha," she said, "I had to hear y'ar voice."

***

"Momma!"  Todd cried out, and Blair, already awake, was sitting up.

"Todd, what's wrong?"  she said, getting up.

"No, get back into that bed, Blair.  I mean it.  Momma . . . I don't know, she just fell into the room.  I heard her, she pounded on the door, and then fell inside when I went to open it."  He was kneeling beside her.

"There's no rule I can't get out of bed, Todd, for God's sake," Blair said, coming to his side.  Before she had a chance to even think of finding a way down to their level, Todd had lifted his mother up in his arms, and brought her to the couch.  

Lying her down, he said, "Momma, come on, can you hear me?"

She didn't respond, and Blair was first to the phone.  

Todd barked, "No, I'll fly her there myself.  The copter.  She's not moving, Blair." 

Blair saw the panic in her husband's eyes and she said, "Todd, she's going to be okay.  She's breathing.  Go ahead and take her, then.  Just call me, and be careful."

He loaded her into the copter, wrapped in a blanket, and threw on a jacket over his sleep clothes.  Blair watched as he lifted off in the helicopter toward Llanview Hospital.

***

"Creena, for goodness sake, Dear Heart, it's only three in the morning there!"

"I know.  I'm just awake.  A nightmare of sorts.  Nothing major."

"What was it?"

"A shrouded figure, I think The Devil, or someone evil.  Wanting the children.  Their souls."

"Not such a pleasant way to spend y'ar sleep, eh?"

"No.  Not.  I forced stigmata into my own palm, in my fear," she said.  "Of course, that was in the dream as well."

"Ya felt terror."

"Yes.  I . . . want to forget it.  For now."

"A knowing?"

"Not going to say that, no.  But I must move past it.  It's not important now.  A dream is a dream.  How is Eric, the dear boy?"

"He's just come out of surgery, last evening.  He seems to be all right.  He came out of it well.  It was the second of the exploratory type.  There will be more.  He's made friends, here.  Everyone needs that."

"I am glad.  That's better news.  Over here, I've moved to Mountainview.  I'm starting my internship with Dr. Martino."

"That's good news, Sister.  Glad to hear.  Tina is holding her own here, very supportive of my son."

"Wonderful."  She was having difficulty shaking the feeling of dread from the dream.

"Ya never say that.  The dream is plaguing ya?"

"It is.  But I'll be fine.  I have some reading to do, it will occupy my mind."

"Perhaps.  But it's bothering ya.  What do ya feel it meant?  Did you recognize the figure?"

"No.  I've never seen him before, I am certain of that.  His face was very unclear.  The wind was whipping like a banshee.  I was on the cliffs."

"Sounds ominous.  Ya want to tell me what y'ar thinking?"

"Nothing.  Nothing important.  Just . . . I trust in the Lord to keep everyone safe."

"That's me girl."

"And will ya send my best to Eric?"

"Yes, I will tell him his Auntie asked for him."

"That is fine, Broham, please do."

"All right.  Now ya try and get some rest, Dear Heart."

"Ya have a good day, Timothy John."

"Same to ya," he said, hanging up.  He turned to Tina.  "She called me Timothy John."

"What does that mean, exactly?"  she said, from beside Aiden's bed, where he was resting.

"It means she's had a knowing.  And she's very upset by it, as well."

***

It was past dawn, and Blair was in the bed, trying to pass the time and waiting on word from Todd.  As she turned her attention to her magazine, she heard distant copter blades and looked up and out.  The copter was approaching the helipad, and she sighed.

Todd exited the copter, and went around to the driver's side.  He opened the door for his mother, who got out, able to walk on her own.  He still stood by her and supported her arm.  Blair got up and opened the panes to let them in.  Once inside, Bitsy went to the fire.  Todd said, "She's all right."

"Was it a heart attack?"

"No, panic."  He said, watching his mother for a moment.

"Panic?"

"Yep."

"Well, you've had it before, it seems like your heart is going to explode from your chest, right?"

He nodded, then turned to Blair.  "Something spooked her."

"What was it?"

"Needless to say, she's not talking."

"What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, but she won't write it to me.  She just said to forget it, she's tired."

The woman warmed her hands and was on her knees, in front of the fireplace doing so.  Blair got out of the bed and walked toward her.  "Momma?"

She turned, smiling up at Blair, and nodded once in acknowledgement.

"Momma, what happened?"  She turned away from Blair, and continued to warm her hands.  "Is something wrong, or is Ray too much for you?"

She shook her head no, and continued with her hand warming.

"Momma, we want to help."

She ignored Blair, and kept on.

Blair walked back to Todd.  "She's not 'talking.'" She used air quotes.

"I just said that."

"Well, you were right."

"I made an appointment for later today, with Ray.  The ER staff requested it in lieu of psych evals there.  I informed them of her past and they let me take her home."

"Why that?"

"She wrote something to them, not me.  They refused for me to see it, because, supposedly, she asked them not to show me."

"It's personal then, or something she thinks will upset you.  Possibly something that happened to her she does not want you to have to deal with knowing?"

"Probably.  Sounds right."

"Ray will know."

"He'll figure it out.  We're going in a few hours."

"Anything I can do?"

"No.  Just let me be with you, put my head on your lap right next to Jewel and listen to her."

"Listen to her?"

"Well, you know what I mean, be near her.  Sometimes I think I hear her.  I know it's all that other stuff going on.  But, she can hear me."

"She can.  Come on, let's get back into bed for a while.  Momma, you going to be all right?"  Blair called to her.

She got up from the floor, and turned to them, nodding.  Then, she made a small wave, and left.  Todd watched after her, while getting into the bed, and putting his head on Blair's thighs.  The baby pushed into his cheek, and he smiled.  "She's there, all right.  Just got my first face punch or kick from her."

"She knows her Daddy.  By the way, I'm worried about your mother."

"I know.  In a couple of hours, she'll be with Ray.  She's okay, for now."

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Todd's Saga 26: The Struggle

       Todd said goodnight to his sister and walked back down to Victor’s room.  He opened the door and stood looking at his brother.

Victor glared at him.  “That’s it then, you’re just going to keep me tied up.  At least have the decency to let me use the bathroom.  It’s been over eight hours since Clint helped me out.”  He glanced over the side of the bed at a plastic bottle lying on the floor.

Todd chuckled at Clint’s ingenuity. He had forgotten that particular essential problem when he had left Clint and Victor that morning.  It looked like Clint had managed to make do.

Victor snarled. “You think it’s so funny.  I know for a fact there were times you were unable to help yourself.  Shock therapy can do that to a man.”

 The smile faded as Victor’s truth hit home.  He recalled the embarrassment and indignity he had felt when Kent and another man had cleaned him up after Baker had hit the switch on the electric chair he had been hooked up to. Bile backed up into his mouth over the memory. He swallowed hard, tasting the bitterness and walked over to where he had left the tape the night before.  He pulled out his pocket knife and walked to the end of Victor’s bed.  Taking the knife, he slashed the tape holding one of Victor’s legs to the bedpost and started to wrap both legs together.

“What the Hell!” Victor immediately jerked his foot loose and attempted to send a kick to Todd’s head.

         Todd barely escaped a heavy blow to his head, jerking back as Victor’s shoe scraped across his forehead.   “Naughty, Naughty, Victor.   You’re not going to take me out that easily.”  He grabbed the foot and while Victor continued to struggle, he managed to bind the two feet together.  He left the feet apart just enough for Victor to take small steps.  “There, that should hobble you.”  Before cutting the other foot free from the bed Todd went up to the headboard and uncuffed one of Victor’s hands.  He placed a knee on Victor’s chest to keep him from making another attempt to flee as he uncuffed the second hand and proceeded to cuff both hands together. 

        Victor tried to fling Todd off his chest, struggling to find a means to take him down, but his brother just put more of his weight down on him. “You won’t get away with this Todd.  Viki will never let you keep me like this for long.”

        Todd stared dispassionately at his brother.  “Don’t be too sure of that.  She saw what you attempted with Clint and understands probably better than you how important all of this is.  Okay, you said you wanted to use the bathroom, so this is how it’s going to work.  I’m going to cut your other leg free and we’ll make our way there.  No sudden moves Victor.  This is your one chance to do something with a little bit of your dignity left intact.   You behave and the privilege will continue.  Think what the alternative will be.” 

        Victor stopped fighting and reluctantly nodded.  

        Todd hopped off of Victor and quickly sliced the tape binding him to the bed, then held onto Victor as he swung his legs off it.  He helped Victor get to his feet and they began their strange walk to the bathroom.  

        Effectively hobbled, Victor let Todd guide him to the room.  The whole time Victor was taking in his surroundings.  It was clear that the home he was in, was an older structure.  The bathroom looked like it dated back to the early 1900s.  Unfortunately, the lateness of the hour made it impossible for Victor to see anything outside the window.  He still had no idea where he was.  Todd stood guard over him, so he was unable to do anything but relieve himself.  In his head, a plan formed.  If it went as expected, Todd would no longer be a problem and his whereabouts wouldn’t matter. “I’m finished, Todd. Let’s go.”  As they made their way back down the hallway, Victor made his move.

        Because Victor behaved himself on the way to the bathroom, Todd let his guard down.  It was a mistake.  He was totally unprepared when Victor suddenly stumbled and toppled to the floor.  “Damn It, Victor!   Can’t you keep your feet under you?”  He reached down to help his brother up.

        Victor slammed his two feet into Todd’s gut.   As Todd doubled over from the hit, Victor took another swipe at his head, this time connecting and clipping him just under the chin causing his head to snap back. 

        Todd fell to his knees beside Victor, struggling to stay conscious.  He reached for the hall table, sending it crashing to the floor just as Victor wrapped his arms around Todd’s neck, and began to cut off his air with the handcuffs.

        Viki heard the crash and rushed into the hallway. “My God, Victor.  Stop!”

        Todd heard Viki’s voice, but it sounded like it was down a tunnel.  He knew Victor had him well and truly caught and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.  Try as he might he couldn’t break Victor’s hold.

       Victor looked at his sister and snarled. “Why?” He continued to apply pressure. Todd’s struggles were getting weaker. “He killed Tea and Dani and just walked away without a scratch..  Hell, he shot me and got away with that.  I’m just putting him down like he deserves.”

        “Please Victor.  He’s your brother and Tea and Dani are fine.  They’re alive in Llanview and worried sick about you. Listen to me! I wouldn’t lie to you.  Wait. please!” Viki pleaded. “Let me prove it to you.”  She saw Victor waver and slacken his hold.

        “How?” Victor refused to let Todd go.  His brother had passed out and it would be a simple matter to finish the job.  Viki had gotten his attention.  More than anything Victor wanted Tea to still be waiting for him.  “Prove to me that Tea’s alive.”

       “Please Victor, let me get my phone.  We’ll call her, you can watch me to see I’m not trying to trick you.”

       “Go get it. But if you’re trying to fool me, I’ll snap his neck.  He might be my brother, but I feel nothing for him.”  Victor watched as Viki ran back to her room.  He looked at the unconscious man lying in his arms.  “You better hope Viki is telling the truth.  I swear if this is another trick, I’ll finish what I started and finally be rid of you.”

       Viki frantically ran back out into the hall and cautiously knelt next to her two brothers. “Look, Victor, it’s Tea’s number.  I’ll dial and when she answers, you’ll know I’m telling the truth.” She sent the number and put the phone to Victor’s ear.

****

       Tea turned over in her bed and reached for her phone. Seeing Viki was calling she answered the phone. “Viki, what is it?  It’s two in the morning.  Are you alright?”

        Victor was stunned. His voice was shaky. “Tea, is that you?”

       Tea sat upright in bed shocked. It sounded like Victor.  Was she imagining this whole thing? She looked again at the phone and it still read Viki’s number.  “My God.  Wait, I don’t understand.  Where are you?”  She looked around and suddenly realized it wasn’t safe to say anymore.  Like Viki and Blair, she had had the house searched for bugs and several had been located.  One was in the bedroom. She jumped from her bed and went into the adjoining bathroom and turned on the water.  Then hugging herself, she sat down at the vanity.  “Victor, it’s me, I can’t believe I’m talking to you.  Oh please tell me you’re alright!  I’ve been so frantic since Todd showed me the note saying the Organization had you again.”

       Victor loosened his hold around Todd and reached to take the phone from Viki.  All that was important in that minute was talking to his wife.  “It’s really you.  I’m not dreaming.  You’re alive.”

       Tea’s brow furrowed. Something was wrong. “Victor, of course, I’m alive.  I’m talking to you, aren’t I?  Where are you?  Are you at Viki’s?”

       Victor heard the anxiety and tremor in Tea’s voice.“Shh, it’s alright.  I don’t know where I am, but I’m not at Viki’s.  I am using her  phone.”

       Tea ran a hand through her hair.  “This is all confusing.  Why do you have Viki’s phone?  Is she with you?”  Feeling a little light-headed, Tea wet a cloth with a little bit of water and held it to her forehead.  Her heart was racing. Victor was alive and talking to her but he wasn’t making a lot of sense.

         Victor looked beside him where Viki was trying to revive Todd.   They had been telling the truth.  Tea was alive.  He turned his attention back to his wife. “It’s rather complicated.  Tea, I need to know if Dani is still okay.”

         Tea sobbed. “Oh Victor, I’m a terrible mother.  I said everything wrong and now Dani’s running around with a man old enough to be her father.  She won’t even talk to me anymore.  She’s alright though.  Victor, how did you get away from the Organization?  When Todd left he promised he’d get you back safely but then he disappeared himself. They found his plane in ashes and poor Blair, she loved him so much, it almost destroyed her when she heard the news.”

        Listening to Tea, Victor began to wonder if he had totally misjudged his brother.  Tea had just confirmed Todd’s promise and she had no idea he was alive and well.  Todd had somehow faked his death to get the Organization off his back.  Victor glanced again at his sister.  Naturally, Todd had kept Viki in the loop.  Victor understood why, too.  Viki’s love was the one constant they both shared.  He knew Blair probably was also involved.  In order to keep the secret, they had chosen to keep Tea out of things.  “Tea, I can’t say anymore.  The Organization is looking for me, again, so I need to stay away from home.  I’m sure Viki will tell you everything she can when she sees you again.”

       Tea sensed Victor was ending the call.  “Wait, don’t hang up!  Come home, Victor.  Bo will protect you.  We’ll get you help.  I don’t know what they did to you, but we’ll find a way to fight it.”  Tears were streaming down her face. She knew what his answer was going to be and it tore her apart.

        Victor closed his eyes as he heard the anguish in her voice.  He couldn’t bring her into this whole mess.  He looked at Todd beginning to stir in Viki’s arms.  In his head, he kept hearing a voice telling him Todd was the source of all his troubles, but suddenly it didn’t ring true.  Tea was alive and so was Dani.  The Organization had lied to him, not Todd.  “Listen, Tea.  It’s too dangerous for me to come home.  There are things at work here bigger than me or Todd.  I love you, just remember that.” Unable to stand the sound of her crying he disconnected the call.

        His shoulders sagged as he stared at the phone.  Coughing and movement alerted him to the fact that Todd was regaining consciousness.  Victor moved away from Todd and Vicki and reached to remove the tape from around his feet.  He stopped suddenly when he felt the cold barrel of a  gun at the back of his head.

        “Hold still, Victor.” Clint stood behind Victor, holding the gun steady. “Viki, is Todd alright?”

         When she had pulled Todd’s unconscious body away from Victor, he was so still.  She had feared Victor had killed him.  She had attempted to wake him and suddenly he had gasped for air.  All of her concern had been for Todd as she held him and listened to his labored breathing.  Finally, his eyes had fluttered open.  Hearing Clint’s question, Viki nodded as Todd rolled onto his side, coughing and wheezing as he took in bigger breaths of air.  “Easy, it’s over.  Just take it slow.”

        For his part, Todd struggled to fill his oxygen-starved lungs with some air.   After a few minutes, he felt stronger and attempted to sit up.  His eyes finally began to work and he saw Clint holding a gun on Victor.  The last thing he remembered was Viki yelling at his brother.  “Thanks, Clint.  I owe you.”

        “You don’t owe me, Todd.  Thank Viki.  She’s the one who got Victor to stop.”

         Todd pulled himself up to a sitting position and turned to his sister. “Viki??...I...How??”

         Smiling tremulously, Viki explained.  “I had him talk to Tea.”

          Alarm bells started going off in his head.  He got to his feet unsteadily. “We need to leave.  If they’ve been monitoring Tea’s calls, they’ll know where we are now.” He staggered back against the wall, as a wave a dizziness took him.

         Viki had gotten up too and now she steadied him.  “Todd, it’s alright.  I didn’t use a house phone.  I used my regular cell.  The only thing anyone will be able to tell is that Tea received a call from me.”  She glanced over at Victor still sitting on the floor under Clint’s watchful eye. “I think the big question we need to ask is, did it help?  Do you believe us now, Victor?”

         Todd felt a sense of relief as Viki’s words penetrated the fog still in his head.  He couldn’t help but admire his sister even more.  She had stopped Victor from killing him and she might very well have finally gotten through to Victor as well.  It should have comforted him but at that moment he would have liked nothing better than to see Victor dead.  Suddenly the gun went off.  He watched as in slow motion, Victor slumped to the floor, a pool of blood spreading out under him.  Clint stood above him, his face impassive. Todd was powerless to stop the old man.

        Clint said. “The Organization must be protected at all costs.” 

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Failings of the Fathers: 14

"So, my Dad said he'd do whatever."

"I'm going to college, free?" Jenna asked.

"Sure.  Why not?  It's not like he can't spare it."

She was quiet, walking beside him, to their favorite lunch place.  Settling themselves down on the little picnic blanket that Jenna had brought and stashed in an empty locker in the deserted "art hall" as they called it, they took out their lunches and started to eat.

"I'm not sure what to say about it."  Jenna said.  "You know, your Dad paying for my school."

"Then don't say anything.  It's not like you have to."

"I mean, I feel so . . . lucky."

"Well, you are.  Just let it go at that, I guess."

"What about you?"

"Not sure yet.  I really just want to stay around here and work for my father.  He's missed a lot of my life, and I don't really want our family apart again."

She nibbled at her lunch, but he could see his last words had affected her.  "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I just . . . don't have a family anymore, really.  Just me and Lynnie."

"I'm sorry.  You can share mine, if you want to.  We have more than enough."

She laughed, "I guess you do.  And it seems to keep on growing.  Timothy adopts your father, and now, Timothy has a son that's living, and your mom's going to have a baby."

"Yep.  That's how Mannings roll."

She laughed again, eating some more.  Then she said, "Jack, even with all the bad things, your family is fortunate to be together.  And, all of you love each other, and work to stay together.  That's the important thing."

"People think we're crazy.  The Dysfunctional Mannings."

"Dysfunctional?  Isn't that term sort of relative?"

He thought.  "Maybe so, because for me, I like the way we function, for the most part, just not the crap my father has had to go through, and my mother, too."

"Maybe none of it matters as much because they have each other."

"Maybe."

***

Bitsy pulled Little Ray out from under the crib by his feet, spying them sticking out to reveal him.  She looked right into his face, and shook her head "no."

He gently patted her face.  "Okay.  No.  No Gamma."

She smiled.  She put him down and put out her hand.  He took it, and they walked together to the stairs.  He looked up at her and said, "Lunch?"

She nodded.

In the kitchen, Bitsy puttered about, getting his lunch items ready: organic chicken nuggets, some carrots and a peach, all cut into the right sized pieces for an almost-three year old.  He was in his highchair, and was banging on the tray.  She came over to him and put her hands over his.  Looking into his face, again, she shook her head "no."  

Ray stopped.  Finally, she brought his food to him, and he said, "Thank you!" and dug in.  She petted his hair and went back to cleaning up after herself.  

Todd's feet were heard on the stairs, and he rounded the corner into the kitchen already talking, "Gotta get Ray lunch . . .oh, Momma, you already did that."

She nodded, from the sink.  She finished the last few items from his lunch prep, and then turned toward Todd, wiping her hands.

"Momma, you don't have to."

She nodded, as if to say, "Yes I do."  She smiled.

Her hair at the left of her face was falling out of the twist she wore to keep it all out of her eyes.  She was in a simple dress, that reminded him of a little girl.  It was white, with calico flowers.  Her signature white bobby socks were at her ankles, with no shoes.  He smiled to himself.  She plopped into a chair.

He said, "You're tired, from chasing him huh?"

She nodded, and laughed a little.

"He's a handful, we know.  Does he kick you?"

She shook her head, "no."

"Well, you're about the only one.  I won't let Blair near him because he's gotten into that bad habit."

She put her hand out toward the refrigerator, toward the memo pad.  He got it for her and handed it and the pencil to her.  She wrote, as Ray ate and made his usual sounds of enjoyment.

He doesn't kick me because I speak his language.

Todd laughed aloud at this, and handed the pad back to her.  "Really?"

Yes.  We understand each other.

"You were a great Mother, makes sense you're a great Grandma."

Her face changed, and she broke down into her hands, elbows resting on the table.  He went to her side, "Momma, stop, now, what's this about?"

She cried softly.  Ray said, "Gamma sad."

"Momma, come on.  It's all right."  He slid the pad toward her.  She didn't write.

"Momma?  Ray's getting worried.  You have to stop crying now.  It's really all right."  He put an arm around her shoulders.

"Gamma sad.  Down, Daddy."

"Not now, Ray, just a minute."

"Down Daddy!  Down!"  the toddler yelled, and took his spoon and slammed it.

Bea looked up and composed herself.  She stood and straightened her dress a bit, and went to Ray.  Looking directly into his eyes, she shook her head, "no" and then waited.  He slowed his slamming, and then, after a few minutes, he stopped.  "Gamma sad?"

She shook her head "no" again, and put her fingers to her mouth and shushed him.  "Shhh."

"Down, Gamma."

She shook her head "no" again, and made another "Shhh."

He went back to finishing his peach, and she turned to the table, taking the pad.  Don't ever say I was a great mother.  But you can say I am a great Gramma.

***

It was a few hours before the copter returned the boys to the house.  They came in through the master bedroom, mainly because they knew their mother was there all day now, and had been for the last three days.  They trudged in, after wiping their feet on the mat outside the towering glass panes.  Sam was first, "Mom!"  he said, running to her bed and jumping on.

"No, young man, get off here with those shoes.  Get them off first."

He did as she asked, and then jumped back on, hugging her gently, and sitting next to her.  He was waving a paper at her.  "I got a hundred."

"Let me guess, spelling?"

"No, Math!"

"Great job!  Sam, you're so smart."

"Just like your father," Todd said, from the door.

Jack was already at the fireplace, starting one.  "I have an idea," Jack said, from the sitting area.

"What's you're idea?"  Blair asked.

"Let's have a family night, right up here, remember, we used to all the time downstairs, though.  Grandma Bitsy can come and Ray, until he runs away from us eight or ten times and has to go to bed."

Blair laughed.  Todd said, "You have it all figured out, huh?"

"Yep," Jack said, closing the fireplace guard.  The fire was already picking up.

"Mommy, what do you think?"  Todd asked her.

"I think it's a decent idea, sure!  Daddy, what about pizza?"  Blair questioned.

"Why do you two call each other Mommy and Daddy when we're here?"  Sam said.  "You're Todd and Blair."

There was light laughter in the room.  "Okay, Blair, I think pizza can be arranged."  Todd added.  "But for you?  Are you supposed to avoid spicy food?"

"I think spicy means spicy hot, not pizza."  Blair said.

"All right, it's all settled then," Todd said.  "I'll get the pizza going in about an hour.  Until then, you guys hang out and do homework.  Mommy, I mean, Blair, you choose the movie."

"Thank God she's choosing," Sam chimed in, "I can't watch that Evil Dead II another time.  Gees, Dad, you gotta let go."

Blair burst out laughing, and Todd put his arms folded over his chest.  "What?  Are you saying that I am obsessed with that movie or something?"

Jack rolled his eyes, "No offense, Dad, but yeah."

"Maybe just a little," he said, going off to get Bitsy.  Sam hankered down in the sitting area, cracking the books.  Jack went and got some items he needed from his room for his study session.  Bitsy returned with three sketch pads and her pencil box, and since Little Ray was still napping, all of them had some quiet time to get things done.  Blair was making a list of things they would need for the new baby.  Somewhere in her heart, she realized the baby was on her way, sooner than later.  In the midst of their silence, after Todd returned with his tablet to work on The Sun, Sam blurted out, "Grandma Bitsy had a dream about the baby."

Everyone in the room just looked at him, while he was still focused on his homework.  Blair said, "Really, Sam?"

Bitsy shook her head "no" as if it were nothing.

"Yep.  She had a dream about the baby.  It was little, and beautiful and precious.  And it was perfectly healthy.  It was really small.  She drew it."

Todd looked up, surveying what was going on from a side point.  Blair said, "Momma, did you draw her?"

Bitsy sheepishly looked at Blair, and nodded slowly.

"Can I see?"

The older woman got up, and took her sketch pad to Blair.  Handing it to her, Blair noticed she had written something under it.  

The dream about the baby.

The picture was the side view of a man's hand, with a baby in it, like a cradle.  The fingers held up the head lightly, and the baby's legs, of course, were curled in toward herself.  Blair's eyes filled with tears, and Todd, seeing things might become emotional for her, put his tablet down and went to the bed.  He crawled on next to his wife, and leaned over to see the drawing.  "That's a beautiful drawing, Momma.  I think it's symbolic, that the baby is held up by her father's love," Blair said.

Bitsy nodded.

Blair asked, "Bitsy, did you dream the baby was small?"

She looked at Todd first, and then to Blair and nodded.

"She was tiny?  Like this, in your dream?"

She nodded again, this time taking her "talk pad" and writing:  Yes.  She was so beautiful and perfect in every way.  She was moving, and breathing, and alive and so so precious.

Blair's tears fell, but her face was one of gratitude.  "Thank you, Momma.  This is so special."

Bitsy nodded once in acceptance of the thanks, and went back to her drawing spot by Sam.  Both Todd and Blair studied the drawing another moment.  He said, softly, "See, the baby was happy and alive."

Blair waited, then said, "Bitsy's right.  The baby is going to be here soon, and she will be tiny.  The doctor said the same thing, Todd."

Todd looked at Blair and said, "And alive.  Perfect in every way, and alive."

"And safe in your hands, My Love," she said.

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The Mysterious Samuel Toddman : Chapter 8

Samuel rolled over in bed "God, My head is killing me. Wait.  How did I get here? I remember standing in the sitting room talking to the girls. Ahh this head!" he gingerly sat up noticing that he was still dressed except for his shoes. Standing up he made his way to the bathroom. "That's strange, the medicine cabinet is opened." The pain was intense he reached for the aspirin and took two. Samuel closed the cabinet door and grimaced as he viewed those hated scars glaring out at him from the mirror. "You're the culprits for this headache, just because I wanted to remember how I got you." Samuel returned to the bed, sat down and reached for his shoes. Doing so caused the room to spin. Samuel gripped the edge of the bed until the spinning stopped. "I might have to slow down a little bit. I'm not even going to be able to work if this keeps happening." He carefully put his shoes on and headed for the kitchen.

Grabbing the coffee pot, Samuel filled it with water, he noticed that his hands were shaking. "Get a grip Samuel. Okay something happened you can't explain but whatever it was you're still here." He couldn't stop wondering how he got to his bed and what had occurred before that. He looked around the room, nothing was disturbed. The front door was still bolted, no one had been in here last night, but Samuel felt like someone had put him to bed. He shook his head trying to clear the cobwebs, but that was a mistake as his head throbbed even harder. "No matter, I've got to get something accomplished this morning." He reached for his cup and filled it with some of the coffee being brewed, took a croissant from the counter and sat down at the table. "I just need to eat something and then back to work."

When he finished eating he filled his cup again and headed for the loft. The pain was easing up and Samuel had an idea for the next painting. He grabbed up a blank canvas and carefully moved his Muse to continue drying. Gathering his supplies around him, he took a brush and started to put the background in the painting. The colors were dark and murky and then shapes began to form. As he painted he found himself seeing a dark alleyway with one ghostly light shedding its glow on the scene below then a face appeared in his head one he had never seen. This face wasn't one of his Muses, but he knew her. He found he couldn't stop painting even though the pain in his head was once again returning. He kept going as her long hair unfurled around her face, he painted her lips trembling and her eyes glistening with tears, pleading at him. Samuel stood frozen staring at the lovely woman, his heart, as well as head, pounded ferociously. She was so scared. What had happened to bring that look to her eyes? Samuel was fascinated and frightened. The woman had some connection to him. He backed away from the painting taking the whole picture in. But even as he stood there it seemed to get bigger and he was suddenly standing in that alleyway. He was inches away from that face. Just as suddenly Samuel clutched as his chest.

Searing pain was making it hard to breathe. Samuel collapsed in a nearby chair praying for the pain to stop. He willed himself to think calm thoughts, this wasn't the time to panic. He looked around for one of his paintings of Dee. She would help, she always helped him. There she was, he focused hard on the painting of Dee laughing at him. There was snow around her and he had painted her with a ridiculous Santa hat on her head. She was so endearing. As he looked at Dee the pain began to subside, his breathing eased up and he was able to take a deep breath once more. It was alright. His heart was beating normally again.

He stood back up and looked at the painting he was working on. He deliberately avoided the face and instead decided to concentrate on the background a little more. While he was looking he saw a sign appear on the wall behind the face. Picking up his brush he quickly began putting the sign in the painting. When he was done he read it to himself. "Rodi's." Was it a real place?

***

Blair walked over and looked down at the sketch. He looked so real staring up at her from the table. She remembered thinking how breathtaking Todd's looks had been in those early years. There had always been something soulful and compelling in his eyes when he looked at you. It was as if he could see the real you. The combination of those eyes and the scar added an air of mystery to him. Todd always managed to draw attention to himself simply by a nod of his head or a knowing glance in your direction. Blair sat down and drew the sketch closer. She and Christian had talked late into the night about the possible reasons Samuel looked like Todd. Was it conceivable for Todd to have a twin? Not likely. Blair knew Todd's history and was pretty sure if Todd had had a brother, Irene would have written it in her diary all those years ago. Both she and Chris talked about the possibility of him being a double. It was a fact in the world that doubles do exist.

Blair looked at her watch. In less than an hour, Tomas would be coming for her. She was going to have some fun. Shoot, she was in Paris. One of the most romantic cities in the world. She was single and it was time to give herself a treat. Tomas was handsome and appeared to be unattached so she was going to enjoy herself. Taking a quick trip to the bedroom, she touched up her makeup , winked at her reflection in the mirror and grabbed her bag off the bed. After a quick peek at the contents of the bag, and noting that everything necessary was in it, Blair headed toward the door. Just as she reached for the handle, a knock was heard. "Yes, who is it?"

"Dearest Blair, it is your tour guide for the Day" Blair laughed and opened the door to find Tomas standing there smiling.

"You look enchanting My Dear, but don't forget your wrap. It is still nippy this time of year in Paris. I am hoping this will become a long friendship so that I'll have the privilege of also showing you Paris in the springtime. But we have today, and I will make the most of it. Come Paris awaits." He assisted her into her coat and they departed.

Arriving in the lobby, he took her arm and lead her out to a waiting cab. "Now, if you will allow, I chose to make reservations for us in the Eiffel Restaurant. This will give you an excellent view of Paris and we can discuss where to venture next." Blair was thrilled. She was going to see the Eiffel Tower and she was in the company of a very handsome and charming man. The cab ride proved very enjoyable as Tomas filled her in about Paris and told her amusing stories about some of it's famous history. By the time they arrived at the Tower she felt completely relaxed. They exited the cab and she gazed up at the incredible structure in front of her. The pictures she had seen didn't do it justice. She gave Tomas her hand and together they made their way to the restaurant. Tomas kept her fully entertained during lunch and as the meal was winding down, Tomas suggested several other places they could visit that afternoon. Blair accepted and they continued their adventure.

***

At the Charles De Gaulle International Airport a flight from Bermuda was arriving at the gate. The gendarme watched the passengers exiting, he couldn’t help but smile when he saw a charming mademoiselle exit looking very out of place in her summery clothes. As if knowing she was being watched Alex looked up and saw the handsome Gendarme staring at her. She put on her best smile and walked to him. " Excuse me, do you speak English. my French is very rusty."

The young officer replied "Yes Mademoiselle, what can I help you with?"

Her smile got bigger as she inquired, "Perhaps you could direct me to a Shoppe in the airport where I might purchase some more seasonal attire. I'm afraid I left Bermuda in somewhat of a hurry and forgot how much colder it was here." The young officer obligingly directed her to a great shoppe and Alex quickly added to her wardrobe. "Carlo's paying for all this I might as well take advantage of it." After changing into a beautiful cashmere sweater and suede leather slacks as well as some comfortable boots, Alex put on the lovely mink jacket she just purchased, gathered her new purchases and headed to baggage to retrieve her luggage. With her luggage retrieved Alex made her way to the exit and a waiting cab. "The Ritz." she informed the cab driver.

Alex sat back in the cab recalling the recent call from Carlo. She wasn't entirely sure why he had sent her here. She recalled a night eight years ago when they had happened upon the body of a man. When Carlo had turned him over, they both had been surprised to see the face of Todd Manning looking up at them. He had been beaten to within an inch of his life and was barely alive. Carlo had wanted to leave him, but Alex felt she owed him her life. If it hadn't been for Todd she would have been rotting in prison. She begged Carlo for his help and Carlo had agreed, but on his conditions. He told her he would take care of Todd, but she was to leave everything to him. At that, he had sent her away. She didn't know what happened after that until she met Todd later with his new face. She had just assumed that Carlo had financed Todd's recovery. But now he was asking her to go see this man in Paris.
.
What did Carlo mean she would know him when she saw him? She didn't know any Samuel Toddman and it was weirder than that. Carlo said he wasn't to know who he really was? That made no sense at all.

The cab pulled in at the Ritz and The Doorman helped Alex out. She entered and proceeded to registration. Then Alex headed for the Suite. Once inside she decided she'd better let Carlo know she was in Paris. She needed a little more information but was not sure if Carlo was going to give her any more. Taking off her Jacket, Alex reached for the room phone and called room service. It had been a long flight, tonight she was just going to unwind. Tomorrow would give her time to find out anything she could about this Samuel Toddman and she could also check into the restaurant that Carlo had mentioned.  A few hours later, relaxed and replenished, Alex picked up her wine glass and pulled out her cell phone. It was time to call Carlo!

"My Dear, how lovely to receive your call. So you are now in Paris? Excellent have you already made contact?" Carlo inquired.

"Well no,Carlo, that is why I called, after running everything you said to me on the phone yesterday, I'm a little confused. You said this had something to do with what happened eight years ago. I recall that night and that was when we helped Todd Manning. But I don't understand what this man has to do with Todd. Todd's in Llanview, yet you intimated that this is about him. You told me not to let Blair see me. It's very confusing." pleaded Alex.

"It will become clearer Alex, if you do what I tell you and don't ask any more questions. Now it is essential that you make contact with him before Blair can. You must get him to trust you enough that he'll be willing to go to the States with you.  He frequents a restaurant called Au Diable De Lombardes. With luck you'll find him there. Don't fail me Alex and again don't let on you know who he really is? "

Just as Carlo was about to hang up, Alex said one more thing. "But Carlo I don't know who he is. I've never heard of Samuel Toddman. You say I'll know him when I see him. I don't understand.”

 Cryptically Carlo replied."You will!" and cut the connection.

Alex put the phone down. It looked like she wasn't going to be able to leave everything till tomorrow. She was going to have to find him tonight. Alex set down her wine and made a call to the Concierge."Yes, are you familiar with a restaurant known as Au Diable De Lombardes?"

"Oui Madame, the Diable is a popular place with Americans."

"Excellent.  Could you make me a reservation for 9:00 o'clock tonight?"

"Oui, Madame, there will be a car waiting for you when you are ready to leave."

"Thank you monsieur. That will be fine." Alex hung up and went to the bedroom to see what she was going to wear for this seduction scene.

***

Samuel finished cleaning his brushes and took another quick look at his painting. Careful not to dwell for a moment on his subject's face he studied the portrait. It was a dark portrait in both the color and the mood that emanated from it. He could not remember any other portrait that he had done over the last eight years being so dark. He was beginning to believe his portraits and paintings were parts of his memory. But if that were true, then this painting depicted something very alarming and very scary indeed. This portrait was screaming violence and fear.

He steeled himself and looked at the face of the woman in the picture. Again his heart started palpitating and he felt overwhelming panic, he didn't want to know this woman. He had done something awful to her and he didn't know what that was but it was tearing into his soul. He shuddered and felt tears begin to make their way down his cheek. As he looked he was again in that alleyway, but now it was like standing and watching someone else. He stood there unable to move as he watched a man move closer to her. She was crying and he, the other man, was laughing getting some perverse pleasure out of her fear. From the corner of his eye, another figure entered the alleyway and started yelling,suddenly the new figure picked up a pipe and hit the laughing man across the face. Samuel felt that blow and reeled. Dismay and anguish welled up as he realized what he had just seen. He was the laughing man and that was when he got his scar. "Oh God, I was a Monster.” He didn't want to remember, but it was too late.

The memory wasn't going to go away, and Samuel knew in his heart that there were other memories even more horrific to come. Shakily Samuel left the loft, he felt dirty. He had to get out of the apartment. Right now he couldn't face his Muses, he couldn't face himself. He grabbed his coat, but he didn't take out the mask. He was ugly and he couldn't hide from it any more. Down on the street, he hailed a cab. "Take me to Au Diable." As the cab pulled away, Samuel felt like he was drowning in his thoughts.

***

Alex was looking at one expensive outfit after another, and then she paused. I don't even know what kind of place this is. I need more information. She went to her bags and pulled out her laptop and started searching for info on the restaurant. There it was. Well she didn't need to dress fancy for that place. Mr Toddman wasn't too selective where he ate but at least they served drinks. She could work with that. She looked down at the sweater and slacks and decided they would work just fine for this initial encounter. Now all she had to do was connect with Mr. Toddman. She grabbed her jacket and headed out. Down in the lobby she crossed to the concierge and said. "I'm Ms. Olanov, would you call a cab and cancel that 9:00 o’clock reservation, I'm going to go now." When the cab arrived, Alex got in and told the cabby "Au Diable"



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