Hope from the Ocean: 74

Landing in Zurich was uneventful.  Todd instructed the pilot to have the jet ready within an hour for lift off to return him to Courtown Demesne.  He led the group to the limousine port, and they waited.  

Aiden said, "Todd, I can't thank ya enough for all this."

"No big deal.  Really.  Whatever works to make you better."

"I heard from the boys back in Rialto that Darren is going home.  He's fully recovered."

"That's great.  Oh, excuse me," Todd said, as his phone buzzed in his pocket.  "Hello?"

"Todd, it's Ray."

"Hey, Ray, how are you?"

"I'm fine.  Your mother is here, she wants to talk to you.  I've offered to relay what she wants to say back and forth."

"That's great.  I could use her words right now," he said.

Ray paused.  "Todd, what's going on?"

"Nothing.  Well, nothing I can talk about right now.  But when I get back, I'll be ringing your phone for an appointment."

"All right," the therapist said.  "I'm going to let her listen to you for a few minutes, then I'll read to you what she says, all right?  Is this a good time?"

"As good a time as any," Todd said, seeing the limo approach.  "We have about a thirty minute drive, so, sure."

"Okay.  Here she is," Ray said, handing the phone to her. 

"Hi, Momma.  Blair and I and the kids are all right.  Right now I am in Switzerland, doing a favor for a friend."

Ray read her words to Todd:  I love you, all of you.  Is Blair all right?  Is she going to have the baby soon?

Todd replied, "Blair's fine.  It's a ways off before the baby makes an appearance though.  How are you feeling?"

I'm fine.  I am making a surprise.  And, Ray said I am getting much better.  I don't want the sparrows anymore, and I am really doing well, Todd.

"That's great, Momma.  When can you come and live with us?  If you want to."

I wondered if you still wanted me to live with you, after . . . well, I remembered everything, Todd.  I wasn't the best mother.  I should have protected you, and got you away from him.  I'm very sorry for that.

"Momma," he said, his voice catching, "I know you are.  You already said you are sorry.  And there's nothing to be sorry for.  Peter was a bastard to everyone, no one could fight that man."

Aiden grimaced and looked out the window.  He didn't like hearing what Peter had done to Todd.  It was beyond his comprehension.  He couldn't understand how any man could hurt a child, especially his own.  Timothy's ear was tuned to Todd's words, though he also looked out the window.  Tina dozed on Aiden's shoulder.

I am trying to accept all that.  I still feel I failed, but in reality, I have another chance.  I can be your Momma now, Todd.  Ray said soon.  I hope you and Blair will still want me to live with you.

"Of course.  We talk about it all the time.  Even Sam.  He wants you to teach him how to draw.  He's  missing home."

I am missing you.  Will you be back soon, Todd?

"Yes, very soon, Momma.  And after settling the family in, my first stop will be to see you."

Bring Blair, Todd.  I have a surprise.  It will be done by then, and I want to see her and the baby and you.

"All right Momma."

I love you, My Angel.  Be safe and come back soon!

Todd ended the call and looked to the floor momentarily.  Timothy said, "Are ya all right, Son?"

"Yeah.  I'm all right.  Momma's doing better.  She's . . . doing well."

"Well, that's good.  And soon, ya'll be back home and can tend to y'ar family and y'ar mother's needs as well."

"Yeah," Todd seemed distant.

"Is there, something ya want to say, Lad?"

"I don't know.  She's doing really well, and I feel like . . . I don't know how to express it."

"It will come to ya, and when it does, let me know."

Aiden turned away from the window and to Todd.  "Y'ar Mam, she's coming along?"

"Yeah, she's doing better."

"That's good news.  Thank ya for bringing me back together with my Pappy, Todd.  It's because of ya that it happened.  Y'ar the common thread in it."

Todd swallowed.  "You're welcome," and looked to the window to watch the sights.

Timothy smirked to himself a bit, realizing it was the first time he had heard Todd actually accept thanks or praise without snarking it into the ground.  "Aiden, do ya want me to call ya Aiden, or should we call ya Eric?  What do ya prefer?"

"I have to admit, Pappy, I like Eric.  It has a regal sound.  It makes me feel like a new person, like I might have a future, it does."

"All right, then Eric it is, Son.  And of course, ya have a future; we all do."

Todd was lost in his own thoughts.  Looking out the window, he began to flash on bits of memory about being there before.  The streets seemed vaguely familiar, and some of what he saw seemed hazed over with a gray, clouded screen.  He blinked to clear his vision, and getting no result, turned away from the glass.

***

"Mom!  YAY!"  Sam said.  He was on crutches, having had his arm cast removed.  He hobbled toward her.

"Little Man, I love you," she said, bending down to hug him.  While they embraced, the crutches fell to either side of him.  "You learned how to use these, all on your own?"

"No, Sister Becca Thrin taught me."  

"She did?"

"Yeah.  She taught me how to walk with these.  It's getting easy."  He hopped about, and was able to get his crutches set back up, using Blair as support for grabbing them.

"Well, I'm very proud of you."

Sam's face turned to a frown.  "Where's Dad, Mom?  Is he leaving us?"

"No, honey, he's not.  He's helping a friend, Aiden, and Grandpa Timothy.  He'll be back later tonight."

"Will I be awake?"

"I don't think so, but you never know."

"Is he okay?"

"He's perfectly fine, Sam.  Don't worry about your father."

"Okay, but it's too late, Mom, I've been worried about him all the time."

Blair felt a pang of regret.  "Oh, Sam.  That's because you have such a good heart."

She looked up and saw her older son, standing in the archway.  "Hi, Mom."

She stood, and sighed.  "Hi, Jack.  You look older, somehow.  I don't know how.  Come here," she said, becoming emotional.

"Mom, Geez, you were gone two days.  Not even."

She kissed his cheek.  "I missed you, that's all I can say.  Where's Jenna?"

"She's in her cabin.  Sergeant Shaun on duty.  If he's not around, he doesn't let us hang out much alone.  Even though I told him."

"Told him what?"

"Jenna's not that type of girl, Mom.  She's special.  Not trampy."

"Trampy?  Where did you get that word?  Oh wait, let me guess."

"Dorian," they both said together.

"Are ya well, Dear Heart?"  The nun said, making her appearance known by stepping full into the foyer.

"I'm well, yes.  Everyone's all right.  Timothy's been reunited with his son, your nephew, Sister.  Aiden is Timothy's son."

"Yes.  I had the strangest inkling there was something like that coming down the pike.  He also called Dorian, earlier today.  She's not the happiest chicken in the coop right now, with him taking off."

"Does that mean Dad is not Timothy's son anymore?"  Sam asked, looking concerned for Todd.

"No, Sam, it doesn't.  Timothy will love both his sons.  People can love a lot of people.  Like I love you and Jack, and Ray, and Starr, right?"  Blair said.

"I didn't know everyone had as much love as you do."  Sam said, going to the stairs.  "Jack, are you going to help me?"

"Yes, Runty, I am.  Hang on," he made his way to the staircase.  "Mom, is Dad okay?"

"He's fine Jack.  He'll be back in a couple of hours."

"K."  He went to his job of bringing Sam upstairs, and within a few moments, Blair mentioned what was missing.

"Sister, where's Ray?"

"In his crib.  His nap's been done for the day, but I forgot him when I heard all this."  She sighed.  "I have another nephew.  Anyway, he's up there, in his crib, probably 'reading' his books," the nun answered.

"All right, then."  She turned to go up and see him.

"Blair," the nun began.

"Yes, Sister?"

"Is Todd really all right?  I could almost see ya falter when ya saw y'ar eldest.  He looks so like him sometimes."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to those who know and love ya."

"He's okay, I guess.  I'm . . . a little worried.  He still doesn't remember everything, from back when he was first here in Ireland and presumed dead.  Aman and Lily brought up things that upset him.  I can tell he's grappling with it.  It's about Peter.  Seems he already knew everything we found out in Chicago, but he went catatonic and had forgotten all of it.  I guess I shouldn't say 'forgotten,' he protected himself from it for almost his whole life."

"Did he ever hint that he knew anything like that?"

"No.  He did know about when he was fourteen, but he never knew the rest.  The Bitsy parts, and the little boy parts," her voice snagged in her throat when she said the last phrase.  "We never had an inkling about them until after he started with the memories in Greece.  Meeting that girl, Orinia.  Her story hit home with him.  He started fighting memories in his mind, in his dreams.  Then, you know what happened next.  When we got back, after Timothy's bout with cancer, he started having short flashes, and that's when it gradually came back.  Being in Ireland again must have been the catalyst, and we didn't even realize it."

"I see.  Well, he knows everything now, about that at least.  He's faced all that with your help."

"I'm just afraid of what's next.  He's been home for over two years, almost three now.  And this still isn't fully over."

"No.  I see that it's not.  But it must be rounding a corner.  Soon.  He's come a long way, Bridgette."

"I know.  He has.  He couldn't get through a night without torment when he first came back.  It wasn't easy, Sister."

"I can imagine.  But as bad as it was, Dear, ya were able to create that little boy up there," she nodded to the stairs.

"Yes.  Ray.  I never really talked about it with anyone, but I know we made Ray the first time we were together after the eight years."  She drifted off a minute.  "He was so . . . lonely.  He just . . . "

"Needed ya, like he does now, only different, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess that's true.  Anyway, I'm hoping this won't take too much out of him.  I'm hoping it will just be a passing thing, but, Sister, I am scared."

"Why, Bridgette?  Tell me, if ya need to."

"It was . . . things he didn't remember.  He hallucinated about Peter.  He had told me about that, when he returned from Ireland in 1996.  He was so bitter and so closed off to me.  And it was my fault.  But beyond that, he told Aman that Peter called him and visited him.  The hallucinations were that real to him.  It frightens me.  I'm scared that if he imagined those things, that way. . . I mean, what else could there be?  It's been one horror after another."

"Dear One, he can handle it.  He can.  He has come this far, and he's trusted ya with all of it.  He can do this, with y'ar help, and the love of the children."

Blair nodded, and embraced the nun.  "Thank you," she said, and headed up the stairs to hold her third baby boy.

***

"This is the Vanderclausen Clinic.  I'd recognize the front doors anywhere," Todd said, while all four of them were still in the limousine.

"It's different than I thought," Aiden said.  "Looks older than I imagined."

Ivy crawled up one side, and there were several places in which maintenance should have been carried out.  The windows were trimmed in ecru paint that was peeling in places.  Lights surrounded the extremities of the building, and they were just flicking on as the twilight moved in.  Todd suddenly felt a chill in his back, and his three traveling companions disembarked the limo, expecting him to follow.  He sat, staring up at the top spire of the clinic, and Timothy leaned back in.  "Son, are ya coming?"

"Yeah, I guess I am.  Sure."  He got out, and shut the door behind him.

The series of events that followed seemed gray and muddled to him; Timothy basically took over, helping Aiden through paperwork and seeing him through the process.  Todd remained reserved, taking in his surroundings, while at the same time feeling disconnected and isolated, even with people around him.  

They made their way to a trim, crisp hallway with green paint and ecru trim.  Turning into a small room, Aiden made his way to the bed.  Timothy said, "Eric, does it seem like I can rest with ya here?  That you'll be all right?"

"I'll be fine.  It's clean and warm.  Nice.  Better than most places I laid my head the last few years."

Todd stepped forward, "Hey, listen, I think I'm going to be on my way.  I . . . feel sort of out of place here.  It brings back things I don't want to relive.  If it's okay with you, I'll say my goodbyes.  I'll leave the limo for you and Tina, Dad."

Timothy studied Todd's face.  "If that's what ya want, Son."

"Aiden," Todd said, extending his hand, "I mean, Eric.  I'll definitely be in touch and I hope you get well quick."

Aiden took his hand and shook it, then brought him into an unexpected embrace.  "Brotha, I'll miss ya.  Don't be a stranger.  There are phones here.  Aside from the fact there will be bills coming y'ar way, I'll want to hear from ya."

"You will.  Tina, you going to be okay?"  Todd asked her.

"Sure.  You bought us the best hotel in town."  She smiled.

He turned.  "Old Man?"

"Yes, Son.  Everything will be all right.  I'll see ya soon, I want to see Eric through the first of the surgeries before I go back to America.  I'll be here, any time ya need me, just make a call and I'll be there for ya.  Always."

Todd's sojourn to the sidewalk to call a taxi felt as if he was in a gray tunnel lined with cotton.  He could see everything, but somehow, he saw it younger, like viewing an antique film from years back.  He stood on the corner, waiting for the cab, and huddled in his jacket.  He wanted to be in Blair's arms, and hold his children.  The chill wouldn't leave him as he watched cars pass, until a yellow one with black and white checkers on the bottom half drove up and stopped.  Getting in, he turned back quickly to look at the building, and for a moment it seemed even younger, then faded to what it really was.

The drive was a half-hour one, and then, he would be on his way to Blair and the kids.  The car passed various buildings, homes, cars and people, walking to and from, and he looked out the window and soaked in the atmosphere.  It was definitely European, and more refined than what he would see in Ireland.  He thought back to Greece, the seaside places in which he made love to Blair by the waves, and also discovered the beginnings of his truth.  Of the three, Ireland was the dimmest, foulest one.  He suddenly felt an urgency to get his family out of the Godforsaken country, and back home.

"Driver?"

Thinking the man did not hear him, he spoke louder, sitting forward in the seat.  "Driver?" He tapped the shoulder.  Then he looked into the rear-view mirror, and saw the face of Peter Manning staring back at him . . .

He sat up, with a gasp, and looked into the front seat, frantic, spying a short, stocky man, with a stub of a cigar poking from his lips.  He breathed out, relieved.  

You were dreaming.  You fell asleep.

"Don't reach over the seat like that, kid, now whaddya want?"

"You speak English?"

"Most of us do."

"How long until the airport?"

"Ten minutes.  You punching a clock?"

"No, just asking."  He sat back.  He ran his fingers through his hair, and shook the image of Peter in the front seat loose from his mind.

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