The Mysterious Samuel Toddman: Chapter 20

Blair handed the list back to Samuel. She was still a little unnerved by the fact that Walker had been buying paintings of her. That was her problem though. She needed to find a way to convince Samuel to come home. "Samuel, I mean it when I say you need to be careful if you're determined to look into Carlo Hesser. It's possible he's nothing more then a buyer of your art. We are acquainted, and maybe he just admires your work. Usually though, Carlo has other plans going on, that spell trouble. If he's buying your art, my guess is there's a reason. In the past Carlo has been involved in some serious stuff. I don't want you getting hurt."

Samuel nodded taking back the list. "I appreciate the heads up, Blair. You say you're leaving tonight. I know we just met but I'm going to miss you. I'll think about coming to the States. I would like to meet the man you say I'm like and I would definitely like to see you again. I'm glad I came here this afternoon. You've helped me more than you realize. Everytime I see you the clearer my memories become. I still haven't figured out why I'm painting scenes of you and your ex.. Your comment about the clinic and the chance that I could have met your husband, just might be true. I don't know but I am going to look into clinics around Philadelphia. I need to find the one that had me for three months before sending me to Philadelphia." 

Samuel stood up. "I'm going to let you finish packing. I've decided what I need to do to get my memories jump started. It's time to put that plan in motion. Who knows maybe you'll see me sooner the either of us realize now. A lot will depend on the next day or two."

Blair got up and followed Samuel to the door. "Samuel, I have one small request before you leave."

"Blair, I'll be happy to help you in any way I can." said Samuel turning to her.

"Good, because I'm afraid I can't leave Paris without it." Blair reached up and took his face in her hands and gently covered his lips with her own. It started tender but then there was such a sense of urgency and need as she kissed him. Samuel responded back, savoring every moment, as his arms went around her, holding her close.

"God, he felt so good," the kiss deepened and she let herself go with the moment, loving the feel of his arms around her, of her hands entwined in his beautiful hair. She didn't want it to end. If she let go, she was sure he was going to disappear again. Then the tears started to fall, she tasted them and she knew Samuel must taste them. His hold lessened. Blair knew it was time. She slowly pulled away and touched his lips with her fingers trying to burn the feel of them into her fingertips. She smiled and stepped out of his arms. "Thank You!"

Samuel had been lost in a thousand moments, he had done this so many times and everytime felt like the first. Her lips were so sweet and tasted of sunshine and wine. She didn't want to stop and neither did he and then he tasted the salt, she was crying. Why? Samuel loosened his hold and they finally parted. Her fingers touched his lips as if she were trying to memorize them. He looked at her face, saw her expressive eyes glistening with tears, but before he could wipe them away she stepped back. He heard her "Thank you" and he smiled back at her. "You're welcome." he replied. Samuel gently reached forward and wiped her eyes, brushed her cheek lightly and left her suite.

Todd gazed on Blair as she moved toward Samuel. He couldn't take his eyes off her. When she placed her lips on his there was a sudden jerk and suddenly he was there holding his Blair, Todd didn't waste a single moment, he wasn't sure if this was going to last. It had been so long since they had kissed, everything about her felt good. God, he had always loved it when she had run her fingers through his hair the way she was currently doing. He had always let her take the lead in their lovemaking because he had been so afraid of hurting her or scaring her. She had no idea how alive she made him feel. She was starting to cry, she didn't know it was him.

"No! Not now!" He lost her to Samuel. Todd blinked and stood up straighter shrugging off the disappointment. He listened to her and Samuel's final words and turned to survey the ever widening opening in the translucent barrier. He had to start deciphering the images that were spilling out from behind the wall. There was one particular memory he needed to accept if he was going to leave here. It was time to find it.

Samuel left Blair, bemused by everything that had just occurred. The whole kiss had been totally unexpected, but what was even more unexpected, had been the feeling that one moment he was being kissed, and then he wasn't. He was watching it and Blair was kissing someone else. Even more strange was all of a sudden when the tears had started to fall, he was once more holding Blair. This whole thing seemed right out of the twilight zone. It was like he had been taken over by someone else for that moment. Was he losing it? Still, holding Blair brought some more memories to him. He saw a room and a small Christmas tree, Samuel stopped in the hallway and let the memory roll in front of his eyes like a movie. He heard the knock on the door and watched a hand open the door. Once again he was the observer. He saw someone take Blair's hand and begin to dance with her. Then she began kissing that someone much the way she had begun to kiss him. He realized then that the one she was kissing was the same person who had just interrupted his kiss with Blair. He was losing it, he thought he was two people.

Then he heard him. "Samuel, calm down, you're not losing it. I don't have time to explain but we need to talk, find a mirror." What the hell! He really was going crazy. He was hearing voices and this particular voice told him to look in a mirror. Samuel reeled, this wasn't happening. His heart started beating way too fast . The hallway receded and Samuel slumped to the floor.

Damn! Damn! Damn! He's not totally out but where is he. "Everyone, I think Samuel is here with us, find him, I need to talk to him." Todd began to search the darkness around him listening for the sound that would indicate Samuel's presence. There it was, he was gasping for breath. Todd followed the sound and found Samuel slumped on the floor. " I've found him." Ms Perkins and the guys came running. "Let's put him on the bed. Rodd, you take over and get off the floor in the hallway. Don't talk to anyone just get a cab and go home, and don't get comfy, you're not staying long."

Samuel started coming around. Was he dreaming again, he was lying on a bed but it wasn't the one from his apartment. This place was like his dream. There was a conversation going on and Samuel tried to find out who was talking. He could hear a man and a woman talking but he couldn't get a fix on the location. It seemed to be coming from all directions, like he was inside some sort of bell or cave. Through the darkness someone was coming toward him, at first he thought it was the woman he had seen before but then he realized this was the man from his dream. Samuel watched as he neared, the man could have been his twin, but he had no scars on his face. Samuel sat on the edge of the bed as the man came closer. It felt strange here, somewhat insubstantial, yet the man coming towards him felt very real. Pulling a chair out of thin air, the man sat down in front of him.

Before Samuel could say something, his double raised his hand and said "Stop..I know it's confusing but if you let me talk it will all become clearer. First off, hi, I'm Todd Manning, and no, I'm not crazy and neither are you. You're Samuel Toddman and you're going to have a really hard time believing this next bit. You are a piece of me. You see before you a damaged man. I'm one person but with many personalities. You were born to protect me from an event I haven't figured out yet. I know this event must have been so horrific that I escaped back here leaving you to pick up the pieces. You have no memories because I currently have no memories. That is also the reason that you were not aware of me or the others. Allow me to introduce you to, for lack of a better word, my family and yours. Ms Perkins, Tom and Pete have been with me most of my life." Three people walked up behind Todd. They also looked like him. " My fourth personality is Rodd and he's taking our body home while we talk. If you don't believe me look behind you."

Samuel turned slowly and saw the window. It was that feeling he had had before, like he was watching from a distance. Only this time it was real.Samuel turned back to Todd. He studied the man sitting in front of him. It was true, he didn't understand it but he believed Todd. This was the man from his dreams and his memories, the few he had. This was the man who had just taken his place with Blair. Things were beginning to make sense. This was the man Blair was in love with.

Todd just watched Samuel. What he had just told him, would shock any normal person but Todd believed all of his personalities were a little off kilter. They had to be because he was off kilter. When he had realized someone else was taking his place all those years ago; it hadn't scared him, it had fascinated him. He'd relished the thought that he could do what normal people couldn't. He knew they were there to help him and he let them to a certain extent. Samuel had taken his place when none of the others had been able to. Todd recognized his friend in Samuel and felt a kinship for this alter that was stronger then his bond with all the rest except for Ms. Perkins. He knew he was going to let Samuel go back out because he hadn't yet figured out what had knocked him out for so long. Todd was worried, he wasn't sure he would be able to face this truth. Yet he knew that Samuel would. If he couldn't handle it, Samuel was the strongest of his alters. Samuel would be able to have a long life. He had already proven he could survive.

"So Samuel, do you believe me?" asked Todd "If so, then it's time to get you up to speed with the reality of the situation before you go back."

"Wait a minute. What do you mean before I go back? I've been holding your spot for you, aren't you going to take it?" Samuel was confused. After what happened with Blair, he thought it was a foregone conclusion that Todd was coming back to take what was his.

Todd looked at Samuel. He said: "I can't yet. We have to free our memories so we'll be whole again. but there is a deeply buried memory I'm not even sure is with the rest. That's the memory I have to face in order to come out. If I'm unable to face that memory, I could end up trapped away from all of you. You coped with that memory once, so I know you'll be able to again. Right now you're my best hope for sanity when I do get out. Besides I'm counting on you to keep Blair safe from whatever or whoever did this to us. You've already made progress, our instincts were right on the money about Alex. You should also know that Blair was right about Carlo Hesser.  The man is diabolical, it's not inconceivable that he is at the root of our memory loss. If Carlo is involved we're only seeing a portion of his big plan. You must be careful. While you're out, use your art to stimulate your memory. Every one of your paintings are pieces of memory. We'll be working as hard as we can to free up all the rest of our memories. Together we'll get them all back, then it will be time to find out who's been living my life. Yes Samuel, someone else is pretending to be me and he has been for eight long years. If the time comes and I'm unable to return I'm counting on all of you to avenge me and take back my life."

"Are you ready Samuel. It is time for you to pack and head for the States. That's where it started. that's where it will end." Todd stood up and offered a hand to Samuel.

Samuel took the hand offered and felt the strength of the man he was a part of. He sensed the anguish this man had felt and lived with. Everything he had been through had tempered him like steel but for all his strengths Samuel realized that Todd was close to being broken for good. This man needed him. In his eight years he had never been needed. Samuel finally had a purpose. He would go on, live and learn. It was up to him to hold down the fort and set everything in motion for Todd's return. He was going to make sure that Todd survived the memory he feared. Todd would get his life back of that he was certain.



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