It was morning at Unforgettable, and even though the temperatures were less than sunny, the bright glow of the morning light was shining in on The Mannings. Blair was on the far side of the bed on her back, and Todd, strewn across the bed width-wise, was over her middle, his head on her belly. He woke first, and adjusted his position, his feet feeling strange from partially hanging over the bed during the night. It was just dawn, and quite early. The entire house was silent, Ray hadn't even started calling him yet, and Blair was sleeping soundly under him. He turned his head sideways to look up at her face. She was going to bring him another piece of life, something they never thought possible. Something they talked about and grieved together, yet, here it was back in their sights. Several strands of hair covered half her face, and he reached up to gently move them out of the way. Watching her was like a daily gift to him, and he wanted it to last.
Pulling the covers over himself in case one of the kids made an early appearance, he stayed there, right where he was, so he could watch her without disturbing her, and take in everything about her. She was the first person, the first woman, who treated him like a man after his time in Statesville, and the first woman to be unafraid when she was alone with him. If he started to list them, there were so many ways she was a "first" for him, and it continued to go on and on and on, like something ethereal and magic. He knew, and she did too, that she was going to be his first for everything, and his last for everything as well, whenever that came. He turned his head slightly enough for his lips to quietly kiss her stomach, and he said, in a whisper, "I already love you, too."
Suddenly, a trampling of feet thudded through the hallway and into the door raced Hope, followed by Starr who was trying to catch her as she scrambled away. "Granpa! Gramma! Granpa, Gramma!" she cried, and Blair, startled from sleep, as well as Todd, scrambled to get cover over them as she barreled through the cracked door into the room, with her mother at her heels.
Starr said, "Sorry, Mom, Dad! She just got it into her head that she was going to wake you up!"
Blair pulled the edge of a sheet higher over her chest, and said, sleepily, "We're not used to really taking cover or securing things too well. The boys are old enough to knock and pretty much know not to bug us in mornings."
"Sorry," Starr laughed, lifting Hope in the air. "You, you little monkey, need to listen the first time."
"Granpa, Gramma! I wanted to see them."
"Well, here they are." Starr said.
Both Todd and Blair waved gently to her, and she waved back. Hope said, "Hi!"
Todd said, "Hi, Peanut. Sleep good?"
She said, "Yeah. Just too long."
All of the adults made a face of exasperation, and Blair said, "Spoken like a true child. Sleep is always too long."
Starr said, "Let me get her out of your hair and into her outfit for today," and took her out the door, closing it behind her.
Both of The Mannings watched them go, and he turned to Blair and said, "God, I wish I were here for that."
"The birth, you mean?"
"Yeah. That."
"I'm sorry that it didn't happen that way, but I'm going to tell you something, and you won't overreact."
"All right, tell me."
"There might not be a Hope if you were here."
"You're not saying I'd tell her to abort her baby?"
"No. Just that the only reason she lost her virginity with Cole was because of Zeus." Darkness went over Todd's face. "Calm yourself, now. What came out of it is that beautiful girl. But, it was Zeus, threatening to separate them, and make us all move to Hawaii and she thought she would never see Cole again. That pushed her to decide to make love with him. And the first time they did, the baby was conceived."
He swallowed. "That's not fair, or right. But at least she knows now it wasn't me who did that to her."
She smiled. "Yes. She knows. In the back of my mind . . . well, never mind."
"What? Go ahead, you might as well."
"In the back of my mind it was how . . . Zeus was acting during those years that made me . . . it's going to sound crazy, but I began to doubt him. I began to doubt that he was himself, or yourself. I guess in an odd way, I started to doubt that he was you . . . but not really. I mean, it sounds so weird, but the first sign I got was how he treated Starr when she was pregnant, how he treated her friends. He was so . . . he just didn't seem like . . . well, like you. When Zeus was found out to be sleeping with Marty . . . it just . . ."
"I'm not going to say to you what I want to about this. But Marty?"
"I know," she said, "And you don't know how much I've punished myself, up here" she touched her head, "I should have known. I still feel guilty, you know, about what happened to you." She began to cry, and not just tearing up. She broke down into lingering sobs.
He slid closer to her and took her in his arms. "No, no. That's enough. That's not anything you need to feel responsible for."
"How can I help that? I still think about it, every time I see, these." Without lifting her head, she ran her hand over the scars on his shoulder, and the large one, now faded to almost nothing, that she had been there when he received. "If I hadn't given up . . ." her tears interrupted.
He was determined to take the guilt from her. "You didn't put those there. Besides, it was more my fault than yours. If I wasn't acting all tough, and out for revenge after the Mitch thing, I never would have ended up in that crypt. Right?"
"No. That's my fault, too."
"No, it's not."
"Yes it is. I . . . I sent you away. Without your children, with nothing, Todd," she sobbed.
"Hey, come on. That was a long time ago. What's the sense of going over it now. I still made my own choices, and you sent me away for a reason. I lied. Again. I put people at risk. I acted without thinking. All those things that led to our problems, over and over and over again. It was all me, Blair. You just . . . you gotta stop, okay? It's not good for us, or for the baby."
She cried a little longer, running her hands over his shoulder. She could feel the roughness, even though they had faded. The rectangular scars left from the eight years they were apart. His back was also spotted with them. Finally, she said, "I don't know why I am thinking about it this much."
"We just went through a lot. You were scared. Thought you would lose me. Yada yada yada."
She laughed through her tears. He was so matter-of-fact about their lives. "If we ever wrote down everything we've been through, someone would think we were a fictional couple on a soap opera or in a romance novel." She sniffled, and looked up into his face. That beautiful face, so different from what most people would call beautiful, but still, so beautiful to her. And the scar. He wore it all his life, at least all of his adult life, and let it be what it was. But his eyes. The hazel, changing look of them; how she could read his whole heart in them and into his very core.
He pulled her in and kissed her. He said, "No more of this. I could make a list of the things you screwed up, and the ones I did, and it's still going to be 10-90, you on the ten."
She didn't answer. She just sat up next to him and said, "Now what, Mr. Manning?" Her nose was still a little clogged from her bout with tears.
"Now her, Mrs. Manning," he said, pointing to her belly. Blair's face crinkled. He said, "Not more crying, now, come on," and brushed her tear away with his thumb.
"You think, she might be a girl?"
"Might? We have a 50-50 chance. Our first baby was a boy, we lost him. Then Starr. Then Jack. Then Ray. Then Sommer. We lost her. I think we're batting .500 on this. Wait, let me check."
He scrunched down in the bed, and put his ear to her belly. "Let me see, hey in there? Girl or boy?"
"Oh, Todd, come on, it's no bigger than a peachpit right now."
"Okay." He knocked on her side. "Hey, Peachy, are you a girl or a boy?"
Blair laughed. He had been successful in distracting her from her momentary sadness. "Is Peachy answering?"
"I'm pretty sure Peachy is a girl at this point. Yep."
"You always wanted girls. At least, most of the time."
"That's because it's another you. I think of that all the time when I look at Starr. Another Blair. Can't ever have too many." He kissed her cheek and got out of bed. "Uh, missed a call. Let me ring it back. Think it's McBain. Hey, M.I.B., that you?"
She watched him, pulling on his boxers and heading into the bathroom. The tub was still full, so he turned on the jets and the heat, so she could take a bath. He knew how much she loved baths in the early morning sun, and he opened the blinds letting the light in to the bathroom. "Yep. All right. Thanks for letting us know."
He came out of the bathroom and looked at her, "I got your bath heating. I opened the blinds. Lots of light in there."
"You can't come in."
"I know, I know. Stitches."
"What did John say?"
"He said Mitch is going to do heavy time, or be put to death. He's got a list of new charges that rivals Charles Manson. Seems he killed a guard and a woman accomplice on his way to our place. Add that to charges of rape, assault, and the rest to do with Bitsy. . . and, well, me. He's not ever getting out, plus all the counts of kidnapping and unlawful restraint on minors and adults. He's done for. And he'll be maximum security, high level because of the escape. The Messenger has gotten deleted." She stood up and watched him putter around the room, getting his shaving articles ready and picking out clothes for after his shower. "Why don't you get into the bath, Babe, and I'll take a shower while you're in there?"
"Todd," she called to him.
"Yep?"
"Todd, are you . . . all right with everything?"
He peeked back out of the bathroom, "Yeah, why?"
"You . . . asked Mitch. . ."
He walked out of the bathroom and back toward the bed. "I asked Mitch how my mother got the way she is? Yeah, I asked him that. I wanted to know. I still . . . wonder about it."
"I thought we knew, that she was beaten badly . . ."
"We don't know everything. We're not sure how it went. She's so confused."
"Is it something you really need to find out? Is it going to bother you?"
"No, I guess not."
She could hear in his voice that it would. "When she gets better, maybe Bitsy will tell you. I don't expect Mitch to ever tell you the truth about that."
"I don't think I'd ask her, that's if she ever gets better."
"She will. I understand though, why you might not want to ask."
"Yeah. Well, I'm showering, you coming in there?"
"I'll be in there in a minute." She said. When she heard his shower start, she picked up the phone. "John McBain, please."
Todd got out of the shower and Blair was already gone. She had left a note on the pillow: "My love, I had to go run an errand, so I used Jack's shower. I'll see you in a little while. Let's have lunch together at The Country Club today, are you game? Love, Me."
"I do, love you, lady. And what are you up to?"
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RELIVE the AMAZING DAYS of #OLTL, the MANNINGS, LORDS, CRAMERS and MORE! PLEASE leave comments for the authors, it gives them support and feedback!!!
Many thanks to our currently featured authors:
BF4L: Old Habits Die Hard ||| CIMZ: R.E.M. ||| Cloud: The Way Back • The Shadows Fall • Battle the Dark • The Fourth Life • The End of Blame • Diamond in the Rough • Hope from the Ocean • Failings of the Fathers • Chasing the Monsters ||| Karena: • TM Return Scenarios • To Journey's End • Port Charles Chronicles • Todd's Saga • Memories Unlocked • The Mysterious Samuel Toddman (Reissue) • Who's the Real Todd? (Reissue) • Thomas Lord: Cloaked (Reissue) • Enigma (reissue) • Don't Shoot the Messenger (link) ||| MONICA ANN: Dance with the Devil • The Devil You Know ||| MARIA: Spidey Sam
Many thanks to our currently featured authors:
BF4L: Old Habits Die Hard ||| CIMZ: R.E.M. ||| Cloud: The Way Back • The Shadows Fall • Battle the Dark • The Fourth Life • The End of Blame • Diamond in the Rough • Hope from the Ocean • Failings of the Fathers • Chasing the Monsters ||| Karena: • TM Return Scenarios • To Journey's End • Port Charles Chronicles • Todd's Saga • Memories Unlocked • The Mysterious Samuel Toddman (Reissue) • Who's the Real Todd? (Reissue) • Thomas Lord: Cloaked (Reissue) • Enigma (reissue) • Don't Shoot the Messenger (link) ||| MONICA ANN: Dance with the Devil • The Devil You Know ||| MARIA: Spidey Sam
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