Hope from the Ocean: 21

Sam came home a day and a half later, and was relegated to his room.  Todd had set up all his favorites around him, and Jack was waiting on him hand and foot.  "Are you my slave for life?"  Sam asked.

Jack said, "No, Runt, don't get smart."

"Well it seems like it.  Get me some ice cream!"

"Don't push it," Jack said, tucking in the sheet around his brother, and handing him a cup with a straw to drink from.

Sam winced.  "It still hurts, on my side."

"You cracked your ribs, you crackpot."

"Well, it hurts."

"Well then don't jump off roofs."

"I'll never do that again."

"You'd better not.  I don't want you to do anything like that.  Who will I pick on?"

"No one.  So I promise not to do anything stupid anymore."

"Good.  Make sure you got that right."

"I got it."

"No, for real.  It was dumb, Sam.  Mom would have . . . she would have been so sad if something really bad happened."

The little boy thought a moment.  "She would have cried.  More.  Dad cried, Jack.  I heard him.  Near my bed."

Jack stopped by the door, "Yeah, I know.  He loves you, like Mom does."

"Jack, how does Dad love me, and my real father, he doesn't?"

Jack went back toward Sam's bed and sat on the edge.  "Stop thinking about that, Squirt."

"I can't.  My real father, he was mean.  Remember, Jack?"

"He couldn't help it.  He was . . . sick.  He had problems."

"He didn't love us, did he?"

Jack gave Sam's head a little pat.  "It's okay.  I know it's hard to understand, but he did.  He just . . . had a lot of problems."

"In his head?"

"Yeah, in his head.  The same people that kept Dad away from us all that time hurt Zeus."

"Zeus?  That's his name, right, Jack?  He's my real father."

"Yeah, kind of.  Your real father is the one that loves you.  Just because someone made you doesn't mean they're really your real Dad."

Sam seemed confused.  "You mean Dad is my father because he loves me?"

"Sort of.  Sure."

"Why did my real Dad not love me?  I don't get that, Jack.  Because he was messed up?"

Jack felt he was into an area that he wasn't sure how to explain.  He said, "I messed up.  I shouldn't have told you about this."

"Why?  I knew.  I knew he didn't love me."

Jack stood up and went to the door.  "Dad?  Can you come in here?"

Todd arrived at the door, still pulling his t-shirt over his head.  He looked in.  "What's up?"

"I screwed up, Sam's got a lot of questions and I . . . probably shouldn't have gone this far with it."

Todd's face showed slight concern, and he pushed past Jack.  "Sam, what's the matter?"

"Jack said you're my real father if you love me.  Is that true?"

Todd sat on the bed.  "I think it is.  Nothing can change where you came from, but once a person is in the world, as a baby, whoever loves him is his family."

Sam thought about it.  "Why didn't my first father love me?"  Todd suddenly felt a kinship with Sam on a visceral level. 

"He does love you.  He loves you very much, Sam.  He loves you enough to let the people you love, who are your real family, take care of you and be your parents."

"What about my first mother?"

Todd thought a moment.  He said, "What about her?  She died.  You know that."

"Yeah, but why didn't she keep me?"

"She knew someone else would love you more.  And she was right; Blair was meant to be your mother."

"I love Mom."

"I know you do," he was not about to even think of a way to explain Zeus' rape, and the subsequent things that followed.  He was doing his best, and when Sam was older, maybe then . . .

Sam interrupted his thoughts, much to Todd's relief.  "Well, I'm glad I have you and Mom.  I love you, and you're my family.  Are you mad at me, Dad?"

"What?  No.  Why would I be mad at you?"

"I jumped."

"I'm disappointed about that, but no, I'm not mad.  You're my buddy, you know that."

"Yeah.  My side hurts, Dad, whenever I move."

"Well, it's healing.  It will take time."  He adjusted Sam's pillows, and propped his cast leg up on more.  "How's that?"

"Yeah, thanks Dad."

"All right.  Now read some of your books, and stop thinking so much."  He realized what was happening.  His son was dealing with his own mortality, his own way.  Sam had figured out that he had come close to dying, and thoughts of how his life began would be a normal part of that.  He always wanted Sam to feel loved and accepted by them; unlike his start, he wanted the little boy to have a strong foundation and be able to love himself as well as others.  

Not like me.  I don't want him to ever feel like I did.

He made his way to The Sun home office and opened his laptop to start a day's work.  He and Blair had decided to work at home until Sam was on his feet, and he knew this was better for Blair, as well.  Since the hospital scare, she hadn't had any trouble, but he was being cautious and knew she was as well.  He'd encouraged Tina to stay on a few more days, to help out, so Blair could spend less time on her feet chasing Ray in his newfound freedom as a long-distance runner right inside the mansion.  He smiled to himself, as he heard a familiar sound.

He picked up the ringing phone and said, "Yeah?"

"Ah, Son, top of the morning."

"Hey."

"What are ya into?  Is it too early for ya to talk business?"

"No, why?"

"I have some news for ya.  It's about Patrick Thornhart."

***

Tina fed Ray his breakfast, with Blair looking on at the table.  Over tea, Blair said, "Tina, thanks.  I mean, I know we weren't always the best of friends . . ."

"Well, whatever.  That was then, this is now.  Did you ever read that book?  I did, when I was a teenager.  Did you?"

"I don't remember."

"Well, anyway, this is today.  This is my brother's child, and you mean everything to my brother.  So why not? I'm glad Sam is okay, he's a sweetheart."

"I was so afraid of losing him."

"I know," she said, reaching across and taking Blair's hand.  "I would be, too."

"You're very good with Ray."

"We became close friends when Mitch had us at La Boulaie.  He's a very sweet baby."

"So was Jack.  Ray looks so much like Jack did.  Just that, later on, things were different.  Jack's temperament was always like Todd's."

"Well, Ray is a real sweetie.  He's just such a happy baby."

"Jack is sweet, too.  He's loving, and he's dear inside.  He just . . . he's . . ."

"Todd junior."

Blair laughed, "Yes, somewhat."

"Todd's different, Blair.  He's trying.  So hard.  He's trying to be something he wasn't in the past."

"Normal?"

"Maybe not normal, but healed.  Is that better?"

"Yes.  I think that's perfect, Tina.  Not to mention, you are trying, too."

"He was mad at me, wasn't he, at first?"

"Yeah, he was.  But I reminded him what you did to save us."

"It wasn't much.  Plus, I was kinda doing something not-so-nice at first.  But, I just couldn't let him lose his family.  Not again."

"I know.  And I thank you for that."

"Well, look what I got in the long run?  A new little boyfriend!"  

Tina smiled, and Ray laughed and said, "Tee Tee."

"I love it!"  Blair said, "He called you TiTi."

"Perfect.  Aunt Tina, TiTi, sounds good to me!"

"I appreciate you caring for him, Tina, especially right now."

"Don't worry, it's fun.  It's kind of hard when he runs away from me, but I'm getting better at it, and Todd said he'd buy running shoes."

"That's Todd.  He wants to make sure . . ."  she faltered, and sipped her tea, her face showing fear.

"It's okay, Blair.  I know you're scared.  I would be, too.  But you are healthy, and you are strong.  Heck, you might be one of the strongest women I know.  You'll be all right."

Blair looked at Tina through misty eyes, and said, "Thank you."

***

"What do you have?"  Todd asked, the familiar feeling of tense, fearful need in his gut as he waited to hear what had become of Patrick.

"Just as we thought.  My contacts are pretty certain The Men of 21 have him."

Todd breathed out, and paused.  

Blair.  

"How do they know?"

"One of the main contacts, Jimmy, he said he saw them take Thornhart from a boat into a long, black car.  That was a week or two back.  Does that coincide with what we heard?"

"Seems to be."

"The first time we were there, you know, Creena was a hot dog vendor, I was a priest, ya came to take me home, keep me safe.  Remember, Lad?"

"Yeah.  How can I forget?"

"That was the first day I met ya."

"It was."

"When ya went missing, it was obvious what we had to do."

"Go to Ireland and get me back."

"Yes.  We all knew it was the only way."

"What are you saying, old man?"  He already knew.

"I've got to go there, it's the only way I see.  I can call McBain, he will provide me with guards and keep me safe.  But these men in the RA21, they only talk to who they know.  I guess that would be me.  I can communicate with them, break through the barriers of mistrust.  Jimmy, he will be my contact."

"You think you're going alone?"

"No, Lad, ya heard me say I'll be asking McBain for help.  Y'ar not suggesting that ya come along?"

Todd paused.  "I don't know."

"Y'ar confused.  Y'ar wife won't be able to handle it.  Ya know that."

"Patrick saved my life.  She has to understand that.  We wouldn't have a life without that."

"I can't say I blame her.  With the child on the way, Todd."

He didn't respond.  "Go to John.  See what he can do.  See what he can offer you.  The rest will fall into place.  I'll handle Blair."

"Ya don't have to go, Lad.  Blair doesn't want this, and we can handle it."

"I don't have to, but I didn't have to survive, either.  Just let me think about it."

They hung up, and Todd turned his chair to face the window.  Outside, the snow was resting peacefully around Unforgettable, white and undisturbed.  He could see the place where Blair had come out, with Ray in her arms, her feet bare and uncovered, when she thought another of her babies was taken from her.  There were a few tracks there, that he knew led to the snow drift outside the balcony where Sam had jumped.  He could still hear her, pleading for the little boy's life, while he dug in the ice, on autopilot.  And then the hospital, where she had worked herself into a frenzy of tears and abdominal cramps.  

How could I do it?  How could I go and help to save Patrick's life, and bring him home to Marty, and not cause her any pain?

It was then he got what he considered his greatest idea in quite some time, and picked up the phone.  "Ramon?"

"Yes, Mr. Manning?"

"Ramon, contact someone over in Ireland for me?  Actually, I'll email the details of what I want, too many ears here.  Check soon, I'll send it in a minute."

He hung, up, then dialed.  "Jenna?  This is Mr. Manning, Jack's father?  I have a job for you, if you're interested?"

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