Spidey Sam: Chapter 30

Todd was spending his first night in his new place. He was just about to turn in for the night when their was a knock at his door. He thought to himself, "who could that be?"  It wasn't really late, only nine thirty, but Todd  had just spent the last two days moving into his new place with help from Jack and Sam and he was tired and looking to turn in early, not to entertain. Todd walked over to the door and answered it.

"Shorty, what are you doing here?  Is Hope ok?"

"Hope, is fine, Dad, she is with Mom and the boys tonight.  I just thought I would stop by after being out with some friends.  Is it a bad time, Dad?  The place looks great."

"No, Shorty, you know I always have time for you and Hope.  Yeah, the boys and I worked really hard on the place the last two days.  I'm sorry Shorty come on in."  Starr walked into the house and took a sit on the couch in the livingroom.

"What about Mom, Dad?"

"What about your mom, Starr?"

"Did she help you and the boys get things together?"

"No, Starr your mother sat this one out, but than again you already knew that.  You have been talking to your mother."

"It's just that Mom was kind of hurt that you didn't ask her to help."

"Starr, my back and my feet ache, I'm bone tired and so are your brothers, your mom should be happy I didn't ask her to help."

"Dad, really, how much help was Sam?  You could have used an extra hand."

"Your little brother was very helpful."

"Dad, seriously what is going between you and Mom?"

"Why don't you tell me what she told you so, I can accurately defend myself."

"Dad, there is nothing to get defensive about.  I was just curious."

"What if I told you it was none of your business, Starr, what goes on between your mom and I."

"I would say that never stopped me from asking before."

"Very, true.  Your mother and I are just friends Starr, and I want to keep it that way.  I'm not so sure your mother does, though."

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"Starr, that means that your mother has told me that she wants to be more than friends with me."

"You mean Mom came right out and told you that she wanted more from you than just being friends?"

"Yes, Starr, that is what I'm telling you."

"Starr, I want to be the smart one for a change.  I want to be the one who does what is right for you guys for a change, you and your brothers.  I don't want to do what is right for my libido."

"So, you still want Mom?"

"Starr, your mother is a beautiful woman.  Any man spending more than five minutes with her would want her."

"So, I take that as a yes, you still want Mom?"

"Starr, your mother and I are not good for each and we wouldn't be good for you or your brothers."

"Well, that never stopped you and Mom before."

"Well, what can I tell you Starr, I'm older and wiser now and I want to be a good father to you and Jack, and a good Uncle to Sam and a good grandfather to Hope.  I don't think I can do that if I'm with your mother."

"You know, you and Mom could be good again."

"I know Starr, for a little while anyway, besides there is that whole Tomas thing to and I'm not sure I can really forgive her for that and not just what he did to me but, what he did to Sam.  I don't ever want to see any of you kids hurt like that.  I know what it feels like to be hurt, that and it feels lousy, Starr."

"Dad, Tomas is gone and Sam is fine."

"Well, I'm not Starr, I really still very angry at your mother and if we were to get back together that anger would destroy us, Starr and the mistrust.  I don't want that for you guys, I don't want that for me, Starr."

"So, you and Mom are just going to be friends?"

"Yes, I'm going to try and the best friend that I can to your mother, in this situation."

"So, you and Mom are over forever?"

"Starr, your mother and I will never really be over.  We share too many things.  I just want peace between the two of and right now this is the only way that I know how to get that.  I'm not trying to hurt your mother.  If I was I would get back with her."

"Dad, have you told Mom that you aren't trying to hurt her?"

"Yes, Starr of course I have, I have had this conversation with your mother more than once.  I don't know why she is having such hard time with this."

"Dad, she is having hard time with this because she still loves you - because she is still in love with you.  I think you are, too, but you are afraid."

"You damn right I'm afraid, Starr!  Your mother was going to marry the man that had me locked up in Irene's torture chamber for eight years.  I just don't know what to do with that, how to react to that!  I know he was just doing his job, is that what you are going to say, like everyone else says.  You have no idea what him just doing his job cost me and your mother, the woman that claimed to love me for so many years.  She was going to marry him!  I just don't know what to do with that Starr, I don't know how to process that."

"I think the first place for you to start, Dad, is to maybe talk to Mom about the way that you feel, tell her how much it hurt you to see her with Tomas."

"I shouldn't have to talk to her about it.  She should already know that it would hurt me to see her with Tomas.  I could deal with your mom not wanting me and moving on, but with Tomas?  I lost eight years of my life because of him and she was going to marry him and let him have a hand raising my son and my nephew.  I'm just not sure I could or would want to be with a woman like that.  Yes, I love your mother but I'm in love with her anymore Starr, I just don't think that I am."

"Dad, I think you should be having this conversation with Mom and not me, Mom needs to know how you feel.  I think you should also talk to someone about what happen to you while you were gone."

"I hate shrinks, Shorty."

"I know you do, Dad, but you might just need one right now."

"You sound like Marty, now."

"You should listen to her."

"Marty, wanted to be my shrink, or maybe not my shrink, but she did want me to talk to her."

"Well maybe you should Dad."

"I can't go complaining to Marty about my problems after what I did to her."

"Marty, forgave you for that a long time ago, I think you should work on forgiving yourself for it now.  If you don't to talk to Marty and not to Mom, then someone Dad, I think it would be good for you."

"I think it would be stupid and a waste of time and it won't change anything that happened to me."

"I have to go, Dad, but please promise me you will at least think about talking to someone."

"I don't know Starr, I will try that is all I can promise you."

"I can live with that.  Bye Dad, I love you."

"I love you, too, Shorty."

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