Diamond in the Rough: Chapter 27

Todd and Blair finally came home, the next mid morning, and both headed directly to the stairs to go to bed.  She said, "I'm more tired than I thought."


"I know.  Let's turn in, we can try and sleep at least a while.  The house is so quiet."


Blair went ahead of him to the nursery.  "My God, where's Ray?"


"He's with Addie, remember?  She was sitting for him while we were at the art show."


She breathed a sigh of relief.  "Oh I forgot, my God, that scared me.  I'm so tired, I can't think straight."


"He's fine.  Let's get some rest."


He crashed onto the bed, after shedding his suit jacket.  She sat on the edge and removed her shoes.  If I was drowning you would cross the sea, and risk your life to rescue me . . . She absentmindedly began to sing.


He put his hand on her back, and rubbed her shoulders.  "You sang to me.  I almost forgot."


"I know.  It seems days ago or something.  It was just last night."


She slid her gown off, and put herself onto the bed next to him, in her bra and panties.  He took her hand, and they both stared up through the skylight again.  There was a great deal of sun, and neither had the energy to get up and close the shade.  He stared to unbutton his shirt, and she leaned toward him and finished the job.  Yanking it off, he was now in his suit pants with no shirt.  He kicked his shoes off.


She said, "Is he going to be all right?"


"We'll make him all right.  Are you?"


"I'm okay.  Are you?"


"I'm okay, too.  Just wishing things were different, but I think I've been wishing that as long as I've been breathing."


She watched him frustratedly try and get his pants off without getting up, and she said, "I'm sorry, Todd, that your life has been the way it has been."


"Nothing to be sorry for.  You should be grateful I found you.  You and the kids have been the only good thing I've had since I was born."


"And I'm sorry for that.  There should be other good things, Todd."

"There aren't.  And that's the way it goes.  But if it weren't for you and our babies, I'd have nothing."


He finally won the battle with his slacks, and turned on his side, facing her, and she did the same.  He looked into her eyes, and she said, "We could have lost him."


"We could have, yeah."


"We didn't."


"Nope.  He's still there, thinking up new ways to drive us crazy."


"Todd, he's so . . ."


"Like me.  I know.  Is that as bad a thing as I think it is?"


"No, it's not a bad thing.  He's sensitive to the point of putting all defenses up.  So much like you.  But you never had a father like you, either, who just deeply loves his son."


He ran his finger along her nose, "You didn't either."


"Me?  I don't even remember the last time I thought about that fact.  I guess I didn't.  Timothy will have to do."


"You don't want to know?  More about your father, I mean?"


"Sometimes.  Don't I know enough already?"


"Maybe.  That's entirely up to you."


"I've thought about it.  But watching you, deal with all this heartache, over the last almost twenty years around your different fathers and mothers, I don't know if it is worth it.  We already know he was a rapist."


Todd stopped, and gulped.  "Yeah, we know that.  Or we think we do."


"According to the stories, that's it.  Raped Addie, and then came me."  He brushed her hair back.  She said, "I never thought about it quite the same way until now.  My mother, she was mentally handicapped, and someone took advantage of her.  She couldn't have even fought back, could she?  Did she know, what she was doing?"


"I don't know.  I don't think we will know, unless you want to find out.  And if that day comes, I'll do whatever it takes to help you."


"Poor Addie.  Even if she wasn't really aware, it was a sick thing to do.  Todd, I have to tell her that I understand.  Sometime soon."


He nodded, and put his hand on her cheek, and saw her yawn.  He said, "You were stunning tonight.  Your voice, it's, pretty.  I know you know what it's meant to me.  I almost came in my pants."


She laughed, "You're so silly, sometimes, Todd Manning."


"I'm not being silly.  When I heard you start to sing, I thought I might have to take cover.  You don't know what that voice meant to me all those years, Blair.  I'd never be able to explain it.  The mind does things . . ." he stopped a minute, "things that you'd never expect it to when you need it most."


She smiled, her eyes glistening.  She looked into his face, and said, "You were scared tonight, at the hospital.  You thought we were going to lose our son.  And if I know you, you thought you deserved it, like penance for something that has less meaning now."


"Maybe."


She took a breath and opened her heart, "Like a song of love, that clings to me, how the thought of you, does things to me, Never before, has someone been more . . ."


She watched him close his eyes, and when she finished singing the phrase, he didn't reopen them, breathed softly, with his hand still on her cheek.

***

"Jack?" a soft voice spoke from the entrance to the cubicle.  He opened his eyes and saw her, standing at the foot of his bed, with her green eyes shining.

"Hey."

"Hey," she said, and her voice cracked slightly.  She was holding a scroll of paper in her hand.  "I brought you something."

"You shouldn't have brought me anything.  I ruined the opening, basically, why do you even want to talk to me?"

She wasn't sure how to take what he said, so she responded, "I can go, if that is what you want."

"No, I don't want you to go.  I just . . ."  His thoughts were tangled in his emotions; he didn't know what to say.  Afraid to show his filling eyes, he looked away.

She came closer.  "I heard you almost didn't make it.  I know things are bad, how you were feeling.  Are you feeling better?"

He had a difficult time reigning in his emotion.  Slowly, he was able to turn back to her.  "I let you down.  I took that special night and turned it into something else."

"You were in pain.  I knew it yesterday, when we talked."

"I was, but look what I did.  My little brother, he was so upset.  My mother and my father, they thought they lost another child."

"They must have been frantic."

"They were.  My father, ready to blame himself, and Mom, she was beside herself in tears.  So scared."

"It happened.  What's the point of focusing on that?"

"I don't know."

"There's none."

"Maybe not."

"Here, look at your gift," she said, handing him the drawing.  "I drew it for you."

He opened it, and there was a picture, beautifully drawn, of his father and mother, when he dipped her into the kiss in front of everyone at the art gallery opening.  He said, "You're so great at this.  Thank you, it's really nice."

"You're welcome."  She sat on the chair next to the bed, and looked around a little.  "So.  When do you go home?"

"I hope soon.  It's boring."

"I can imagine."

"You were a success, right?"

"Yes.  Some people there actually bought some of my art."

"That's awesome."

"I just wanted to say, that I am so glad you are all right.  I couldn't sleep last night wondering."

"How did you find out?"

"Lynnette called your parents.  Your father told her."

"She did.  Hmf.  Thought she had a thing against him?"

"I think she got over that, when she met him.  Really, Jack, he's quite an interesting man.  I never realized . . . the things he has been through."

"He told you?"

"No.  In fact, your mother did.  She sort of, lost her cool.  Lynnette was on the attack, and your mother just jumped in.  The things she said, Jack.  I can see why you're struggling so much with what he's faced."

"I have no excuse.  Doing this was stupid."

"Maybe, but somehow, I can see why you were driven to it."

"I should explain."

"Maybe another time, okay.  Just want to say that your mother, she's the staunchest defender of him.  I never imagined love could be that way."

Jack knew exactly what she meant.  "I know.  Sometimes, I'm jealous that I don't have that kind of thing."

"Yet," she said.  She reached for his hand, and covered it with her own.

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