Who do you think you are?
"I . . . think I'm Sister Martina Agnes."
"You've written something false on these papers, and you're not from our order. I thought something was odd about you, but I couldn't place it. Now I have done a little asking, and I see you're claiming to be part of The Sisters of Notre Dame, and it's just not true. And if you're here under false pretenses, pretending to be staff with these people with emotional needs, it's punishable by law."
Think. What are you going to do, now? This could be bad.
"And furthermore, you're not even interacting with the clients here, you're not providing help to the staff. Aside from washing some dishes, you've not been keeping with any requirements or parts of your job description."
At this, Sister Rebecca Katherine approached, standing off to the side with a few other staff members who were listening. She said, "Sister Elizabeth Mary, perhaps we should take this into another area without any of the residents privvy, eh?"
The nun stopped and looked at Sister Rebecca Katherine. As they spoke, several nuns got the idea to remove the three or four patients from the area, and began to scramble to do so. She said, "With all due respect, Sister, and I do have a great deal of it for you as one of our elders, this woman is a fake!"
Sister Rebecca Katherine looked to Tina, and said, "Possibly. We have to get to the bottom of it. Sister Martina Agnes, do ya have anything to say for yourself?"
She's got to be kidding? Tina's mind raced, as she tried to construct something to say, but couldn't. She had no idea what order of nuns she could throw out she was part of, she had no idea what to say or what could prove otherwise. Just then, she flashed on Mitch, being in a cell in the same building that she was, and saw herself in a plain blue shirt and government issue pants, and panicked.
"I . . . I am not from The Sisters of Notre Dame," she heard herself say. Her clear-blue eyes searched the room.
"I thought not!" Sister Elizabeth Mary folded her arms over her chest.
Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Then where are you from, Dear?" and folded her arms over her chest as well.
"I'm from the Nuns of Florence Nightingale. And I'm a registered nurse, a dog groomer and a palm reader!"
Both clergywomen's lower jaws dropped and before Sister Elizabeth Mary could say anything, Tina jumped up and ran around the outskirts of the room, and started yelling, "You can't catch me!" After circling the room, with several nuns grabbing at her to try and stop her, one blocked her way, only to be knocked down onto the floor with a thud. Tina jumped onto the couch and began bouncing up and down and laughing crazily.
Sister Rebecca Katherine, arms still folded over her chest, was not buying any of it, but stood back and watched.
Sister Elizabeth Mary yelled out, "She might hurt herself! Or someone else!"
Another nun yelled, "Get the orderlies, she's daft!"
And another voice, "She's delusional, the poor dear!"
Sister Rebecca Katherine walked over to the couch, and calmly staring at Tina, said, "Are ya having fun, yet, Dear?"
Tina didn't stop jumping but said, "Fun? Fun? Yes, actually, this is fun! But it's more fun to take blood pressure! I like to squeeze that bulb."
The nun unfolded her arms, pushed up her sleeves, and reached up, grabbing Tina's arm, which stopped her bouncing. Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Get down, Dear."
"Down? No! I'm going up!" and Tina began jumping again. By this time, Sister Elizabeth Mary had sent for the orderlies, and two large men came into the room, one grabbing Tina around the waist and hoisting her down from the couch.
"Hey!" she said, "No need to do that. I'll go willingly!"
A voice rang out, "She must have been pretending, the poor, sick woman."
Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Yes, pretending. That sounds about right." Then, more to herself, "Rebecca Katherine Broderick, keep your tongue."
The orderlies escorted Tina, who was laughing and dancing, and as her gales became softer as they took her further away from the family room. Sister Rebecca Katherine looked at Sister Elizabeth Mary and said, "Now that was a horse of a different color, ay?" and the two of them followed the procession.
In her mind, Tina's thoughts rushed through as she danced her way to her room. Father MacNamara, who had now made his way to the area, said, "She'll be fine here for the evening. Be certain to lock the door. "Sister Rebecca Katherine?"
She heard her name called, and followed quickly. "Yes, Father."
"Make sure she does not keep that habit on. This is a travesty. An embarrassment. But of course, the woman is sick. We must take proper steps to insure her safety, hence the state will be down our backs." He handed the nun a clipboard, "Have her sign these papers for committal, if she chooses. That will be a start."
"Yes, Father."
"And tell her to stop that infernal laughing."
"Yes, Father."
He stormed off, and Sister Rebecca Katherine looked at Tina, and calmly said, "Stop dancing, Dear Heart."
Tina stopped and continued to giggle.
The nun said, "Stop laughing, please."
She did. She sat on the bed, and hugged herself. "I want my mommy."
"Take off the habit, and knock on the door from the inside when you are done. Put on a nightgown or something to sleep in," and she turned and left.
Standing outside the door, she was joined by Sister Elizabeth Mary, who seemed distraught. She said, "My goodness, I certainly hope I did not push this woman into a mental collapse. It's just a crime to be here, with the residents, without being who you say you are."
"You did the right thing, Sister. You were right to call her on it."
"She seems, delusional, at best."
"Indeed. That is how she seems."
"Sister, are you able to manage this on your own? I'd like to go and speak with Father."
"Of course, I will see you later."
Sister Rebecca Katherine turned and sighed, and heard a small knock. She opened the door and said, "Thank ya," and took the habit from her. "Beads, Dear?"
"Here!" she said, and started spinning around the room. "I want to stay here, it's nice here. People are nice here. Can I squeeze a bulb?"
"Do you really want to stay here? If so, you are able to sign yourself in." The nun offered.
"Sign myself in?"
"Yes," she said, "you can sign yourself in to St. Anne's as a patient if you feel you need help. We can help you get better." The nun handed her the clipboard and the pen, and waited.
I won't be able to get out, but I'll be able to stay here, and no jail, and later, just do the escape I was planning anyway. Right? RIGHT?
The nun folded her arms, and tapped her foot, impatiently. Tina looked up, "You know I need help, don't you?"
Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "I can't say, Dear. Do you feel you need help?"
"Yes, I do. I . . . I get attacks. Panic, or something. I act silly. Sometimes, I think I'm another person." Okay, that was a bit much, Tina, even for you. She signed the papers and handed them back. At least, it wouldn't be prison for fraud and endangerment.
"Good night, Dear. Shut the lights and sleep, now." Sister Katherine closed the door, which locked, this time from the outside.
Shit! Now I have to figure out how to be nuts. That shouldn't be that hard. I've had a lot of experience. I've known Mitch, my sister has DID, and my brother, well, he pretty much had the reign of pretend nuttiness, that's if he was pretending. Problem is, I've got to have a disorder by morning, or I'm going to end up in jail for fraud, danger to the patients, and whatever crime it is to dress like a nun!
She paced in her room. She was not sure why she ever chose to come to Llanview as a nun, except that it seemed like a good idea at the time, and her experience in the past made her think she could handle it. After all, she was a nun once, years back. Well, for a few weeks.
Looking in the mirror, she said, "How did you get yourself into this one? Why did I come here? What was I thinking? This, Tina-Lord-Clayton-Roberts-whoever, was a big mistake and might be your biggest yet."
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