Diamond in the Rough: Chapter 42

Morning broke with a snowstorm.  The kids, happy to be home from school, were sleeping in.  Todd and Blair lit a fire in the bedroom, and sat by it, having breakfast that she brought for them on a tray.  They talked over the previous day, the meeting of the woman and Ray in the park, Jack's experience at the group session, Sam and Timothy and their talk about Mitch Laurence, that had taken them into each other's arms again before sleep.


"This is our first snow of the year," she said.  It's beautiful, and with all the glass in this house, you can just see it coming down all around us.  It's gorgeous.  So white, and clean.  Makes me excited for Christmas."


"It's pretty.  I like being snowed in," he said, eating a bite of egg and bacon, and then saying, "It takes away your responsibilities for the day."


"Like you have that many, Mr. Manning," she teased.


"Hey, being a media mogul is a full-time job.  I think."


"And when was the last time you went to work?"


"I tried to go yesterday, but no, you had to distract me and make me follow you into the park to fend off old homeless ladies."


"Todd, you don't think . . ."


"That the homeless lady that saw you was the same one missing from St. Anne's?  I can't say so for sure.  I mean, there have to be hundreds of homeless women."  Todd said.  "I suppose it would be a weird coincidence, but then, I guess we seem to have those a lot.  Like a soap opera couple, or something."


She rolled her eyes,  "This is not Fraternity Row, this is real life."


"All right, so it might be the same lady.  I don't think it matters much if it is or not."


"Why?"


"Because in checking my messages here," he said, scrolling through his text message list, "she returned to St. Anne's.  It said last night."


"Well, that's a miracle and a good one.  I know Sister Rebecca Katherine will feel so much better."


"Yep."


"What shall we do today?"


"If this snow keeps up, Sam is going to want to make a snow fort."


"Are you obliging?"


"Of course.  I want the kids to have all the memories I never did with my father growing up.  I always wanted to, but never did.  Sam's getting it.  I'll drag Jack out there, too."


"You might meet with some resistance there."


"I don't know," he said, chewing again, "Wait and see.  I can be persuasive."

"You're on.  I'll bet you can't get Jack out there."


"Can."


"Can't."


"Can, too."


"Cannot."


"What are you betting?"


"The winner gets a full body massage."


"Fine," he said, shaking her head.  Then he said, "But if you wanted one, I would just give it to you."


"Well, still, I'm right."


"Wait and see," he said, standing up from the floor in one movement, and going to the bathroom.  

"Hey," he called.


"Yeah?"


"Come on in here, let's get that bath we didn't quite get to finish last night."


***


Bea was at the solarium windows with her hands pressed to the glass, like a child.  Sister Rebecca Katherine, came in behind her, with the sketch pad in hand.  She said, "Good morning, Bea.  You like the windows, and the light?"


The woman turned to her and smiled, and looked at the sketch pad.


The nun said, "Did I read it?  Yes."


Bea tilted her head.  She put her hands out as if asking for it back.  The nun obliged, requesting, "Will ya tell me more, if I ask?"


She nodded, and went to a table.  Putting her pad down, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her pencil box.  She opened to a fresh page, and began to write.  Sister Rebecca Katherine interrupted her.  "Hold on, Bea.  May I ask you a few questions first?"


She nodded.


"Do you have any family, Dear, who may have tried to help ya?"


She shook her head "no."


"Did you ever try and ask someone to help ya?"


She took the pad and wrote:  There was no one.  No one to help.  No one would listen.  The Evil One controlled everything.


"Who is The Evil One?"


Bea wrote, I don't know his name.


The nun was holding on to her emotions with such a tight rein that she could feel her shoulders tense. She said, "I want to thank you for sharing these things with me.  Are you ready to tell me anything more?"


She nodded, and began to write.  After a few minutes, she turned the pad toward the nun.  


Living with The Evil One and His People was not easy.  At first, I was like them.  I followed what he said.  I believed his words.  He was like our leader.  He did whatever he wanted to us and we let him and we thought we were supposed to.  He told us that God wanted us to do what he said.  So we did.  I can barely remember where I was before I went to live with The Evil One and His People, but it was bad.  Some is so unclear.  Some I can’t remember.  There are pieces of that I remember, and some I don’t.  But I will not talk about that now.

Sister Rebecca Katherine touched a tissue beneath her eyes. She said, "Do you remember where The Evil One lives?"

She shook her head no, but took the pad back and began to write:

When I first went to the Evil One, I was totally alone.  But, he made me feel welcome.  He told me I had a place and that I was his child.  I thought it was what I should do to save me from The One Who Hurt Us, and to save My Angel, so I stayed.  I wrote My Angel letters.  Every day, letters.  I wanted to see him.  I asked and asked.

"Why were you separated from him? What happened, Dear Bea?"

They took me from him. The One Who Hurt Us. The Evil One and His People and The One Who Hurt Us, too, had told me My Angel had died.  That he had not survived.  I had been allowed to see him, once, after moving where The Evil One lived. The One Who Hurt Us arranged it.  They let me go and see him, once, to tell him I could not see him anymore.  I went, and I told him.  He cried, I remember.  I cried too, and I left to go back to The Evil One, and they said he died.  They said he did not survive.  

"How horrible. You lost your child. Dear Bea," she said, covering her hand with her own. The woman was crying, silently, and continued to write.

And I would think, "Will he ever forgive me for leaving him that day?"  And after they said he died, that he was killed, in a bad accident.  I believed them and grieved, and The Evil One comforted me and made me feel safe.  This worked until he started to hurt us.  Some of the women there were hurt by his hands or body.  Some fought back but he did not care.  He beat them back, like dogs.  But they still fought.  Some did not fight him and became his women.  Some had his children.


Sister Rebecca Katherine was conscious of the fact that the woman was not only crying but also shaking profusely.  She was concerned about shock, and a further mental breakdown, and said, "Is this enough, for today?  Are you through, my Dear One?"


Bea suddenly grabbed Sister Rebecca Katherine's arm.  It was sudden, not harmful, but startled her.  The woman's expression was pleading.  The clergywoman said, "You want to keep on?"


She nodded vehemently.  She went back to writing, but kept holding onto the nun's hand as she wrote.  Sister Rebecca Katherine held the woman's hand tightly in her fingers.  Bea scribbled fiercely.  It was like something had been opened up in her and had to run its course.  Finally, she handed the pad to the nun, and slumped back in her chair.


One day, he came to me, and he wanted me with his body.  

She stopped, looking into the woman's face. "Oh, Dear," she said, pity in her eyes. She went back to reading:

I could tell he wanted to.  I was afraid, to have him do this to me, but I was strong.  I started to fight.  I never wanted that again after that other man.  He did not like it, that I did not want him.  But something . . . I can't remember all of it, Sister. I don't know what happened. And then, The One that Hurt Us returned. This was how The Time of Black started.  I was in the hospital and saw everything dark.  Everything I saw was black, like a hole.  I was there for weeks or months, I do not know.  The Time of Black was when I stopped being able to talk.  It might be because of The Magic of The Evil One, or it could be because of the beatings.  I still don’t know.  Did something happen to my brain?  Did a spirit enter me?  

The nun repeated the last two questions. "Did something happen to my brain?  Did a spirit enter me?" Then she said, "No, Dear Heart, no spirit entered you. You had brain damage, from being beaten so badly. It changed the way your brain works. It left you confused and without speech. There's no spirit, and there's no magic." She continued to read, aloud:

Sister Rebecca Katherine read aloud, "I felt My Angel was there.  He would come to me when I called him from my heart.  In the bed in the hospital in the darkness, he would come."

"This is beautiful, Bea, that you thought your son was alive and with you. But you do know that he was not there, not really."

She seemed to panic. She shook her head left to right, hard, and her hands gripped the table.

"Bea, please, stop. Please. Even if he is alive, he was not there in the hospital with ya. You must see that?"

The woman fell into sobs, and this time, the nun could hear the rasping sounds of her crying. They were the first sounds the woman had ever made, and Sister Rebecca Katherine, who was weeping herself, put her arms around the woman, who held on to her tightly. As she cried, she pushed the pad toward the nun, repeatedly.

"You want me to go on. I don't know if I can."

Bea took her pencil and wrote in large letters, PLEASE.  

"All right, but that is all for today."  The nun went on reading aloud, with her arm still around Bea.

"That started during the Time of Black and never stopped since.  Also names went away.  Names could not stay.  I started to make up things to help me remember, make up names for people and things.  So, the Time of Black was bad for me, but was also good.  Could it be good, Sister?  Or was it bad?  I still do not know.  I never could draw before the Time of Black.  He did not want me alive anymore.  He wanted to send me away.  And that is how I was sent to The Jail, I think. Oh, I am so confused.  Someone sent me away and My Angel, my baby, was no more.

Will My Angel forgive me, Sister?"  


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