The End of Blame: Chapter 31

Blair was into the first new chapter of her book, when her phone rang.  It was John, and she picked up on the third ring.  "Hey, how are you?"


"Fine, Blair, you?"


"I'm all right."


"What's new?"  he asked.


"Nothing much, Todd's not here, he went to see Timothy."


"Timothy?"


"Oh, I forgot," she sighed, "We're in Ireland.  Timothy Broderick called.  It's a long story, but the ending is that Timothy is dying.  And please, John, use your discretion, Sister Rebecca Katherine does not know, yet."


"I'm sorry to hear this.  Todd doesn't need something else right now."  John said.


She was surprised to hear John taking Todd's side, but then remembered it was not the first time.  "He doesn't.  He's slept through two nights, John."


"That's good.  You must be keeping him busy, or on a schedule."


"Yeah, a little of both.  I love him so much, John," she said, "I just want him to be all right.  But I'm hopeful.  He seems to be rounding a corner."


"I think that's a positive thing.  Good."


"Thank you, John, again, for everything you did for us."


"I understand.  And you're welcome.  Can I do something more?"


"No.  Not that I can think of.  But thank you."


"This man treated you like his son and daughter-in-law?  This is going to be another difficult time for Todd.  Are you up to it?"


"Whatever he needs."


"You've got to take care of yourself, Blair.  You have to be in good health to support him.  Is there any word on how long Timothy has?"


"None.  He didn't look very well."


"I see.  I'm sorry."


"Thanks.  I promise to take care of myself.  I know he'll need me."


"And your children do.  If you need something call.  I'll be out there at the blink of an eye."


Something about how he spoke to her gave her a kind of strength, as if she could always fall back on it, if something came up.  And somehow, it was reassuring to her.  She said, "I'll remember that.  Take Care."


"Bye Blair," he said.


"Bye John."  After he hung up, she felt a bit better, realizing it would not be long before Todd was back from his visit.


***


Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Boys, come and get it!  Dinner's on the table!"


Sam ran down the stairs, "Yay!  Dinner!"


Jack, still on his cell phone, walked into the kitchen, seemingly cheerful.  She could tell he was conversing with a girl, because his voice had that charming edge to it that Todd often had when speaking to his wife.  She made a hand motion of cutting her throat, as if to say, "hang up."  Jack did as he was asked, remembering his father's rules about the dinner table and electronics.  He said, "All right, I'm off."


"Good.  Time to eat and talk about the first day of school.  Sam, you first,"  the nun said.


"It was a good day, I love my teacher, and I like my friends.  I have a good seat near the fish tank."


"Excellent!  Sounds like a good start to second grade!  Jack, you're next."


He rolled his eyes, "I hate my classes, I hate my teachers, and I hate this conversation."


"Oh, now, you want us to have another boxing match, do ya?"


"Maybe," he said, winking at her.


"You're a fresh one, Jack Manning."


Sam said, "Mom said no saying 'hate.'"


"I hate when you repeat Mom when she's not here."  Jack said.


Sam became upset, "That's not fair."


"I'm just kidding, Sam.  Come on, let's eat, and then I'll throw you in the pool."


"Yippeee!!"


They said grace, because Sister Rebecca Katherine said to, and then dug in to her tuna casserole.  Jack thought it looked nasty at first, but after trying it, he was sold.  Sam ate very little, as par for the course, but complimented the nun on her cooking.  They were just about done, when Shaun came in.  Sam jumped up, "Shaun!  Yay!"


"Hey Buddy, Jack, Sister.  What's cookin' in here?"


She said, "Tuna casserole."


He said, "Uh, I already ate.  Sam, you want to go swimming?"


"Yes!  Can I, please?"


"He has to wait about twenty minutes first," Jack said, "and float around on the life raft until then."


Sam retorted, "I hate when you repeat Mom when she's not here!"  and folded his arms.


Jack couldn't help but burst out laughing, and said, "Cut it out and got get your swimsuit on."


"Will you come with me, Jack?"


He looked at Sister Rebecca Katherine, and said, "Maybe in a little while."  Jack patted his stomach, "I ate a lot.  I need to digest."


"Okay!"  Sam said, and ran up the stairs to get his suit.


The nun said, "You wanted to talk to me, Jack?  I can tell."


"I asked my father's permission.  He and my mom both said that if I want to know the truth, you would tell me, and that it's okay with them."


"I have to trust you that you are telling me the truth, my boy.  If you're not, I'll never be able to trust you again."


"I know that.  I wouldn't lie about this.  It's too important, and private."


She nodded.  "Ask me what you want to know.  Specifics, my boy."


At that moment, Sam ran back down the stairs, dressed in his suit and swimshoes.  He had his inflatable giant Spiderman doll with him, and he was gone out the back door.  Shaun was waiting for him, poolside.  Jack looked back to her, "It was easier when I was his age."


"And it was easier when I was yours."  The nun said.


He said, "I guess so.  Is my father all right?"


"Yes, he's going to be fine.  He's struggling, but he will come out of it."


"Is it because of me?"


"No, not at all, and you mustn't think that.  It's not because of you or anything you did."


"What happened to him?  Why is he having those dreams?"


She proceeded cautiously, "Because of things that have happened to him."


"Something's different.  He looked. . . .so bad.  When we left, he looked like. . .I was scared leaving him."


"I can understand that."


"So are you going to tell me, or treat me like a baby?"


She sighed, "You want to know what's different for your father, eh?"


"He didn't say I could know, but I think I should."


"All right.  Your father remembered something that has been haunting him and causing him a great deal of pain.  That is what has caused the lack of sleep.  But I do know, he's now slept at least one night through, possibly two.  That is an improvement."


Jack wasn't buying in to her avoidance.  "What did he remember. Sister?"


"Jack, it's very bad.  I don't know if I can get it out to ya.  I'm being honest."


He looked down.  "I can wait.  Or, you can call Mom."


"No, don't bother her, I'd not want to make her have to say it again.  I can manage.  And now, I've scared you enough."  She took his hand across the table.  "Jack, it's very difficult.  He discovered something he hadn't remembered until recently.  It's about his own mother, or at least the woman who raised him until he was nine."  Jack waited, and she continued, "He saw his adoptive father, Peter Manning, do something terrible to her.  He was just a boy."


Jack saw the strain in Sister Rebecca Katherine's face.  He said, "I can figure out the rest, just by knowing what kind of guy that Peter Manning was."


"Yes, I am sure you can."


"Did he rape her?  Did Dad see?  I read about this, sometimes people who do it, had it done to them, or saw it done to someone . . ."  The boy's eyes widened and he swallowed.


She nodded.  "You are not to tell Sam any of this, Jack."


"I wouldn't.  Ever.  Sam would never understand."


"Are you sure that you do?"


"No, not really.  I just know what that must have done to him, as a little kid, and then again as a man, to remember it now?  No wonder he looked so bad.  Did you know his mother left him?"


"I believe I did, yes."


"Sister, how could she do that to him?  Mom would never leave us alone with someone like that.  How could she have left him?  He was just a little kid."


The nun got a lump in her throat that she felt might never fade.  She finally composed herself, "I don't know, Jack.  Maybe we'll never know.  She's passed away, years ago."


"Is that all there is, Sister?"


"Pretty much."


"Can I do anything for him?"


"No, just be a good son, and love him, that's what he'll need.  They'll be back soon."


"I will.  Dad needs a break, Sister.  He really does.  Nothing else bad should happen to him for like fifty years.  It's. . ." his eyes began to water, "It's too much for one person to handle."


"No, Jack.  God does not give us what we cannot handle.  And your father has your mother and her love, and you, Sam, Hope, Starr and Little Ray.  And he has your Aunt Viki, and me.  He will make it.  It will take more than this to bring Todd Manning down, you mark my words young man," she squeezed his hand.  "Now, no more of this today.  You had your first day of school, and your father will be proud to hear about it when he calls tonight.  All right?"


"All right.  Thanks for giving it to me, straight."


"You're welcome," she said, and watched him go to his room to change.  At a quick glance, she could see such a resemblance to Todd, it made her wistful.  This handsome, strong, and loved boy, who grew up very privileged, but without his father, was now doting on him like royalty.  She sensed everything a son would have toward a father he worshipped:  loyalty, protectiveness and respect as well as endearing love.  "Todd, my boy, you have created that family you've so wanted.  When you get home. I will pray that you see it for what it is."


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