The End of Blame: Chapter 23

The following day was restful and idyllic.  After saying goodbye to the boys, who went happily with Viki to their new adventure in a new school year, Todd and Blair spent the day in the sun, on the roof of Melian, with Baby Ray and Sister Rebecca Katherine.  Moving from the honeymoon suite to the family one, they had a great deal of space to share in the beautiful Grecian climate.  The baby cheered them, and Todd, seeming to forget his woes, bonded and played with his son for hours.  When Little Ray napped, Todd seemed to be grabbing a nap along with him.  Blair loved to sit, with her book, and watch the two of them.  She and Sister Rebecca Katherine had taken up gin rummy, and were in a close tournament.  The day was passing all too quickly, and Blair began to get a sickening feeling about the pending night.


***

John was en route to pick up Zeus at the airport and bring him to Agathangelos.  Concerned that Zeus had no memory of her, and remembering her strong emotional connection to him, he decided to call her and prepare her more for his visit.  "Ms. Metaxas, this is John McBain, I called earlier regarding the visit from Zeus?  I just thought I should preface the visit with something.  It's not my place to give too many details, but due to something that happened in Zeus' life, he has no memory of you.  I thought you might want to be prepared.  Yes, that's right.  I would want him to share the story with you himself.  There's no telling how he will react once he is there, but I thought you should know."


She said, quietly, "All right."


"And one more thing, I know I mentioned this before, but, he won't look like the Zeus you remember."


"Yes, you've mentioned.  Just as long as he is the same on the inside, we'll know, Lieutenant."


He hung up, feeling worse than he did before.  This poor woman, who raised this boy, now seeing him, as a man, who does not remember her?  It seemed unkind.  But then, what seemed kind in the last few months?  What part of the Todd Manning and Zeus Zelenko story was humane?


He drove on, then as the car was turning onto the airport road, he began to prepare himself.  The driver let him off in front of the terminal, and he made his way to the assigned area to meet Zeus.


After a few minutes of waiting, a crowd disembarked from the gate, and Zeus came along, a medium-sized black duffle bag thrown over his shoulder.  He put out his hand, "McBain?"


"Zeus.  Hope you had a decent flight."


"It was fine.  10 hours too long, but, I'm here.  Where's Todd?"


"He wasn't up to this.  Said he'll be along later."


"Sick?"


"You could say that."


"Blair all right?"


"She's fine.  I'll let him tell you the rest.  Let's get going, Ms. Metaxas is waiting."


"I feel kind of, strange.  She raised me, and I don't know her.  I've tried, I just can't picture her."


"It's all right.  She knows that.  You can choose what to tell her, I didn't want to take that from you.  You tell her what you want to."


He nodded, and they walked to the limo in silence.  Inside the car, John said, "Here's a picture of her, if you think that will help?"  John flashed his cell phone.


Zeus had no response.  He said, "She seems sweet."


"She's very cordial.  I think you will like her.  She knew you immediately from your picture."


Zeus looked out the window.  Could it be that his mind was wiped blank when he left the orphanage?  That only the things Carlo wanted him to remember were in place?  He said, "This is fucked up."


John turned to him, and said, "What is?"


"Whatever happened to my mind."


"It's there.  Someone's got to access it.  Takes time."


"I guess."


They rode the rest of the way in silence.


Outside Ms. Metaxas' house, Zeus wiped his palms on his linen slacks.  He said, "I'm nervous."


"It's okay.  I'd be nervous, too."  John said, getting out,  "I could go first, if you like."


"I'd appreciate it."


"Sure, take all the time you need."


John walked to the door, and said, "Good evening."  The older woman invited him in.


She said, "He decided not to come?"


"He's here.  He's just...nervous."


"That sounds so like him."  She sat down.  "He was so sweet and so sensitive all the time.  He would get so anxious meeting new people...." she stopped herself, "I suppose I'm new to him."


"Possibly."


"The poor man.  Whatever it is, it cannot be good.  He was such a joy, Lieutenant.  I cannot explain how much of a gift he was.  He always loved magic, and learned all kinds of tricks."


"That he did not forget.  He still does them."


She smiled, "I used to buy him magic trick books.  He loved them, and read them up the way kids were reading The Hardy Boys."


"I read those myself."


"He was so darling.  And as he grew, he was just a lovely young man.  On the day he left, he said to me,  'Aggie, I don't know what I'll do in my life.'  And I remember saying, 'Zeus, you will do something powerful and something wonderful, and whatever it is, make sure you come back and tell me all about it.'  Well, from there, it was a shower of tears, from both of us.  I hugged him, and he said, 'Momma, I love you.'  I had never heard him call me anything but Aggie my whole life, and there he was, the last day, calling me Momma.  The way life goes, Detective," she said, breaking up.


From behind her, Zeus said, "Aggie?"


She turned from her seat, and in tears, said, "Zeus?  Is that you?  You've come to tell me the wonderful things you've done as a grown man.  As you promised me."


"I didn't remember you, or that promise, until now.  When I heard you telling John that story, I just knew.  A lot of it is foggy, but I remember your voice.  It was the only voice I heard most of the first half of my life."


"Well, then, come here, my boy," she said, putting her arms out to him.  Zeus, who hesitated only a moment, went to her and pulling her out of her chair, hugged her tightly.


"Thank you, Aggie.  Thank you for loving me," he said, and John, feeling quite out of place, walked to the far end of the living room, examining the knickknacks on the shelves that she had meticulously polished and preened.  One was a little magician's hat with a white rabbit poking out of the top.


He could still hear them in the other room; Zeus in tears, and Agathangelos (Aggie) gabbing away, asking about his wife and children.  Zeus broke out the pictures, and shared photographs of Tea, Dani and Isabella...and John noticed he had not presented one of Sam.  He kept this to himself, and walked back over to the two of them.  He said, "I don't mean to interrupt, but Todd said he will send back a car for you, if you choose to stay longer."


"I think I will," Zeus said, his eyes red and watery but his smile prevailing.  "I'd like to, if I can."


"Of course.  Before I go, Ms. Metaxas, I have to ask, can you help me find the owners of the orphanage?  The original ones.  Those that were there when you first met Zeus."


"I haven't kept touch with them.  I will admit, they were not the type of people I'd want to associate with.  Very underhanded.  I am positive they did illegal things under the guise of child protection.  I know the name, but not sure of their whereabouts anymore."


"Can you write down anything you can remember for me?"


"Certainly.  And thank you, Detective, for bringing Zeus home to me."


"My pleasure."  John took the paper from her, and went on his way, tucking it inside his jacket pocket.


***


The dark had set in earlier than expected.  After spending the evening lounging by the ocean and the hot tub, with Little Ray cooing nearby until he was snoozing peacefully, and Sister Rebecca, until she was, Todd and Blair turned in early, with the hope of resting until morning.  She had taken careful steps to make the room peaceful;  aroma oils, candles flickering, and the windows (he'd always made sure there were lots of windows) open to bring in the sounds of the ocean and the evening breeze.  Before sleeping, she turned him on his stomach, and kissed her way his along his shoulders, then took the aroma oil and massaged it into his skin, loosening all of the muscles in his back.  She sang to him, his favorite tunes, and he'd request more.  Throughout, he sighed, thanked her and told her of his love for her.  She, in turn, felt proud; her hands had brought him this solace.  He said, "I feel so relaxed.  You're the best, Babe."


She continued, putting all of her love and feeling into each touch.  She whispered, "Sleep, my love.  You'll be all right."  She continued to rub all over his back and legs and arms, until she finally realized he was sleeping.  Crawling off, she rested beside him and waited a while before allowing her eyes to shut.  She drifted into a pleasant, floaty sleep, with her hand on his back.


Hours later, she woke.  Her eyes adjusted to the candle light, which was dimmer now that all of them had faded.  He was gone; she felt the sheets next to her were wet and empty.  She could hear see a light coming from under the bathroom door.  She listened, harder, trying with all her might to comprehend any sound he had.  She could hear his voice.  He said, "No, I won't. I'm not going to cry."  Her heart began to beat with panic, and she sat up urgently, in the darkness, with the low candle fire burning around her.  She swung her feet over the bed.  "You don't scare me, old man.  I'll hold my hand over it until you shrivel up and die."  Then, she heard a loud crash, and thud, and raced to the bathroom.  She saw him, sitting against the tub, holding out his hand.  It was red and blistering.  

She said, "Todd?" softly, for fear he would do something in the throes of the nightmare to add to his guilt.

He did not answer.  As she got closer, he said nothing, just stared straight ahead, holding his hand out.  the candles were all over the floor, and fortunately, had put themselves out.  "You can't admit I beat you.  You can't, you bastard.  I'm not a little kid anymore."  She felt a chill go through her.  He was dreaming.  She knew it.  He was sleepwalking and acting out his torment.  She could see the sweat glistening on his brow.  Knowing he could not really hear her, she cautiously tried to take his hand and put a cold rag on it.  When she did, he jerked back, pushing her back against the vanity and knocking the back of her head against the wood.  A sharp sting went through her, and she drew back, in response to the pain.  She felt sick, thinking how painful his assault on himself must have been, but her little cry did nothing to rouse him.  Though she felt some fear, she also knew he would never willingly hurt her.  She took a page from her readings and clapped her hands together three times, sharply, and called his name at the same time.  Somehow she remembered Bo doing the same thing when Todd had first gotten back to them.


He was startled into waking, and dropped his hand to his side, and slumped toward her.  She caught him against her chest, and pulled him close.  His voice was dreamy, soft, "What happened?  Blair, help me.  Something happened to my hand."


"It's all right, you just got hurt.  You were sleepwalking.  You're okay now."  She was shaking.  He was sweating and trembling, confused and disoriented.  She lowered them both to the floor.  He leaned against the tub, and she crouched in front of him.  The back of her head was lightly throbbing.

He said, "I was dreaming, I think, of him.  Peter."


"Okay, it's okay,"  she said, starting to cry.


He said, "Don't cry, Blair."  He touched her face, "It was just a dream," and faded off into silence.


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