The Shadows Fall: Chapter 27

"Todd, you have to get out of our way and let the professionals do their job."  Larry said.  Todd felt as if he was hearing things inside a vaccuum.  

He turned to Larry and simply said, "I can't."

Larry, sensing something was out of kilter with Todd, put a hand on his shoulder.  "You want us to help her, don't you."

Todd looked at the doctor's face, and back to Blair, who had various tubes running in and out of her.  Several nurses and doctors also surrounded her.  Looking back to Larry, he said, "I can't do this."

Larry opened the cubicle curtain and called to Starr.  She rushed to her father's side.  "Dad?  Dad?"

Todd was dazed, staring at Blair, as if willing her to survive and hold on to the baby was possible.  He seemed far away and disconnected.  "Dad, are you all right?  What's the matter?"

He ignored Starr, walking back toward Blair, on the gurney, her skin now pale and her eyes, her beautiful eyes, closed.  He put his hand on her cheek, "Is she breathing? Is she..."

Another doctor from the emergency room said, "Get this guy out of here!"

Starr knew something was not right where her father was concerned.  She pulled on his arm.  "Dad, let's go.  We have to go, we have to let them work on her."

He shrugged off Starr.  He spoke in a dreamlike way, "No, I have to stay with her. I can't leave her.  I promised I wouldn't leave her."  Jack then entered the cubicle and saw the events going down.  Todd's voice cracking, he pulled away from Starr to go back to Blair.  At that moment, an orderly took him by the shoulders and began to force him away.

A booming, angry voice Starr had never heard came from her father, "Get your hands off me.  She's my wife and unless you want me to rearrange your face with my bare hands you'll stay away from her!"

The orderly, not letting go, was addressed by a staff member.  "Get security."

Larry, stepping forward, said, "Todd, you don't want to do this.  Please.  Let us do our work.  Come outside the curtain for a minute.  I promise you, I'll be right here to let you know everything that's going on."

His shoulders collapsed, tired, and Starr was able to take one side while Larry got the other, and support him as they walked to the waiting room area.  He seemed almost trance-like, but was despairing, ranting, unable to comfort himself or accept comfort.  Starr was alarmed, and Jack, disquieted, watched his father in utter horror.  He was a shell of a man, emptied like a balloon without air.

Todd fell into the chair, and cradled his own head in his hands.  "Get away from me, all of you.  I can't do this.  I can't have you see me fall apart."

Starr sat beside her father, unheeding.  Larry, concerned, said, "Todd, I'll be back with anything I can determine in a few minutes."

Starr rubbed her father's shoulder.  "It's going to be all right, Dad."

He looked to Starr's face and said, "No.  It's never going to be all right.  Not if she leaves me.  Never."  Returning his face to his hands, he collapsed into tears.

Starr was stifling her own sobs, watching her father in such pain and anguish.  Jack sat several seats away, and Addie went to him.  Starr joined them, leaving her father in eye's view.  "Something happened to him.  I can tell."

Addie nodded.  "Yes.  He's thinking he's lost her.  You don't know everything about your father.  He's convinced himself he does not deserve her and that she will be taken from him.  He lives with that every day."

Starr bit her lip to keep the tears from springing out of her like broken pipe.  Jack, confused, looked at Addie.  "Why does he think that?  He always says stuff like that, and I don't understand."

"Jack, you've only known your father for what, the smaller part of a year?  And Starr, you've known him since you were little, but there was a pretty big gap there.  Your father has never thought he deserved love, and especially not your mother's.  Did you know they lost a baby before?"

Jack shook his head no.  Starr said, "Yes, Mom told me that before.  And she lost another one when she was with the other guy."

"She also lost another baby, Patrick Thornhart's son."

"I remember her telling me that."

"She also had you early, almost losing you.  And your father thinks that all of that, except maybe the most recent incident when he was not here, are his fault.  He believed they happened because he did not deserve better.  This is why he loves you both so much, and feels so fortunate you're here.  And this is why he cannot cope with what is happening with Blair right now."

"Grandma, he disappeared before this, not sure where he was today, but none of us could reach him.  I'm scared."

"You're right to be.  Something could have happened, he could have run into some old demons.  The only thing you have to be scared about is if your mother or that baby does not survive.  Then, you can be scared for him.  But I can tell you, from knowing him for all this time, and knowing how he feels about my girl, you have nothing to be fearful of as long as she is in his life."

Starr and Jack both turned to look at him.  He was in total misery.  Starr watched him run his fingers through his hair and try, to the point of physical distress, to compose himself.  Larry burst through the curtains at that moment, and everyone rose, including Todd.  "She's resting right now, stable."

An audible sigh was felt by all.  Jack said, "Is she okay?  Is she awake?"

Larry said, "She's awake, and very weak.  Nothing can upset her.  She can't get agitated.  Todd, she is calling for you."

He pushed by Larry and went to her, the color filling back into his face, his strength visibly returning, as if painted onto him.  Addie followed.

Jack looked at Starr.  "I shouldn't go see her.  I'll make her upset.  I should leave.  I'll go find Williams."

"No, Jack, don't.  She might want to see you.  What if she calls for you and you're not here?  You can't get away that easy.  You've got to face her and everything.  We're a family."

Jack sat down, appearing exhausted, and slumped against the wall.  "He crumpled like paper.  He's like the strongest man I know, ever, and he just caved, like something in him was dying."

Starr sat beside Jack, and took his hand.  "That's Mom and Dad.  You just saw it first hand.  That's what she is to him, and he to her.  Life."

Inside the cubicle, Todd had taken her hand, which was warmer to the touch.  He could hear the baby's heartbeat on the monitor, and looked into her face.  She looked so very tired and worn, but she was beautiful.  "Hi, Blair."

"Hi.  I'm okay, Todd."

"You need rest.  You'll be up in no time."

"Todd, did the baby..."

"Moonbeam is still shining.  She's okay.  You did that."

She surveyed his eyes.  "Something is wrong with you.  I can tell Todd, what happened to you?"

"Nothing," he said, "I can tell you all my adventures later.  We have plenty of time.  There are going to be changes and big ones around the penthouse.  You're going to get tired of me waiting on you hand and foot around the clock."

"I can't wait for that,"  she said, smiling weakly.  "I love you, Todd."  Her voice faltered.

"I love you, Mrs. Manning,"  he said.  Their hands interlocked fingers, and he rubbed her thumb with his.

She looked directly into his eyes and said, "Jack."

"Yea, he's here, so is Starr and Addie."

She directed her view toward the curtain.  "Momma."

Addie walked forward, "Hello, my beautiful girl.  How are you feeling?"

"I feel better, now,"  she said.

"Don't worry about a thing," Addie assured, I'll make sure the kids are all right.  As a matter of fact, now that you're awake and feeling better, I'll go and get Sam and Hope and bring them to the penthouse so the whole family can be there when you go home."

"Thank you, Momma."  Addie kissed her daughter's forehead and left.

Blair turned back to Todd's eyes.  "Jack."

"You want to see Jack?"

"Please, Todd."

"All right.  Let me get him."

Leaving the cubicle, he came through the pale blue curtain looking like a changed man.  "Kids, your mother wants you.  She's been calling for you, Jack."

Jack sat up straight, and had a mixture of fear and relief on his face.  Both he and Starr moved into the cubicle, and she let him go ahead of her.  Todd stood behind both of them, watching.  

"My boy, come here."  Blair said, weakly.  She put her hand out to him.  "Thank you for being there today.  It meant so much for me to see your face when they brought me here."

He did not know how to respond.  Starr began to cry, realizing what her mother was probably doing.  Jack said, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'll be okay.  I don't know what happened to me, I was coming to get you, and then before I could even get to the door and knock, I stumbled over that bench.  Wasn't that clumsy?"

He looked at her, and his chin trembled.  "No, that wasn't really clumsy, it was just an accident, Mom.  No one meant for that to happen."

"I know, Son."  She looked directly into his eyes, "I know."

Starr moved forward, "Okay, what about me?"  She hugged her mother gently and kissed her cheek.

"My darling, hello, Starr.  Thanks for being here.  I want everyone to go home now.  Make it normal for the kids.  I'll be fine and I'll be back home soon."

Starr and Jack said their goodbyes and headed for the limousine.  Todd, hands in his front pockets, moved closer to her, and their hands interlaced.  "Think they have good chicken salad here?"

She laughed, "No, I don't.  You can go home, Todd."

"Home?  You are my home.  Where ever you are is where I live."  He pulled up a chair from aside the bed, and put himself there, hoisting his feet up on the end of her bed.  "You're stuck with me, babe." 

Her eyes closed,and she drifted off.  He kept his fingers intertwined with hers and sat back, sliding down in the chair, to rest his weary mind.

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