The Shadows Fall: Chapter 40 (adult)

Kathleen was in her office, working on a speech for the Local Women's Rotary Luncheon.  Pen in hand, she reread and edited the speech, waiting to give it to her secretary for final touches and typing.   Mac was late; he had not shown up yet.  She realized they had a very long and physical night the evening before, when he had taken her back to his apartment and she'd spent the night.  At times, she wanted to be away from her large, expensive house and her neighbors, and find a place where she did not have to be Kathleen Finn.  His apartment, in Angel Square, was that very place.

She chewed the end of the pen as she remembered her meeting Mac for the first time at the premier of Vickerman that past summer.  He was working security, and she was an honored guest.  She walked past him, accidentally dropped her handbag, and he'd bent to get it, and their eyes met.  Not long after, she hired him privately to be her body guard, and he had guarded, fondled and used her body every day since, in ways she was totally accepting of.

Her daydream about him was interrupted by the office phone.  She attempted, at first, to ignore it.  Finally, she lifted the receiver.  "Iris, I've told you..."

"Katherine, my dear."  It was Carlo.

Her expression changed immediately.  Putting the pen down, she gripped the phone tightly, but attempted to sound calm and unaffected.  "Yes, Carlo?"

"You are behind schedule, aren't you?"

"No, not really."

"Sleeping with that underling.  Tsk, tsk, tsk, takes up a great deal of time and energy."  He knew everything.  She had nowhere to be safe.  Not even with Mac.   He continued, "Have you gotten anything out of the Buchanan girl?"

"No, nothing yet.  Almost.  The actor I hired is working on developing trust with her.  He says any day now.  I've given him another 36 hours or so."

"Do you have a plan for what will be done when the 36 hours are up?"

She closed her eyes.  "Yes.  We have that under control." 

"By we, you are referring to him."

She swallowed.  "Yes, my body guard, Mac.  He is very cooperative."

"I am sure he is."  His voice was gravelly, and full of 's' sounds, like a snake.  "Just remember, you will belong to me."

She shook, and could not contain it.  "That was long ago, Carlo.  I belong to no one."

"You will belong to me."  He repeated.  "Just as you should have, just as you did.  You dared to leave me once.  It will not happen again."

"The agreement was that we work together to get me into the Governor's Mansion.  When I get there, I pardon you, after a few philanthropic donations on your part.  You're freed, I am the Governor, we both have what we want.  That was the agreement.  That was the plan."

He broke into what she could tell was sneering laughter.  "Whatever you believe, to make yourself feel better.  But I know, as you do, that you will belong to me.  First in mind, and in deed, and then in body.  I cannot wait for that day.  Your other betrayal will be forgotten.  But yes, now that you mention it, that is our plan."

She sighed.  "That was almost 40 years ago, Carlo.  It's behind us now.  I was a kid, a young girl.  None of that matters at this point.  We've both lived lifetimes since."

"Still.  You and I were meant to be together, from the very first time I made love to you.  Do you recall it?"

She closed her eyes again, trying to squeeze the memory away.  It was so long ago.  She had loved him.  She had loved him completely.  She and Carlo had spent days making love and holding each other.  When she found out she was pregnant with his child, everything turned a dark corner.  She felt the bile rise in her throat.  "I recall.  It's behind me.  I am far from that point.  I am far removed from that girl that you lied to."

He paused.  "I'll stop with this for the moment.  I can see you'll need time to ponder it.  Perhaps I'll convince you in person some day soon.  Remember, I know everything about you that the world does not want to know."  He hung up.

Her hands were shaking.  She attempted to steady them, and they would not obey.  She took her pen, trying to return to the speech, and with her jittering nerves, the pen landed on the carpet.  She bent to retrieve it, and when she came up, she flashed on Carlo Hesser, the man she once loved.  Them, making love in a small flat in town, them on a beach when he'd whisked her away to St. Thomas, her delight at finding out she was pregnant, her shattering when she found out he was a killer for the mob and a member.  His lies.  And the baby.  The baby she carried and loved inside her, and kept secret from him.  To this day, she wondered how he had found out.  But it didn't matter, he did.  Though she refused to have anything to do with him, he found out.  There were fights between him and the police; times when he tried to get in to see her everywhere she went; moments when she screamed her hatred at him as he was carted off by police or even fellow students at University.

Again, the baby came to her mind.  The pain and the hard work of bringing it into the world.  How she ran off and hid them him.  She squeezed her eyes shut again.  The moment she learned her baby had died shortly after birth was the single most horrific moment in her life, even now.  When it died, Carlo disappeared, shattered.  And she was left to go it completely alone.  She held her hands in front of her.  The tremors were visible, as if her fingers had a mind of their own.  She stared at them, tears streaming. 

Suddenly, she was interrupted.  "Kath?"

It was Mac.  She threw herself into his arms, and noticing her cowering and humming with fear, he held her in one arm, while pouring her gin into a glass over ice.  Instead of handing it to her, he put it to her lips, and still holding her in one arm, he made her drink.  She coughed a bit, and cried.  He put the glass down and held her again.  "Shhhh.  Easy."

***

Time was passing.  Blair, barely able to make it up and down the stairs in less than 10 minutes, was walking around with her hand in the crook of her back.  She had that look in her eye.  "I can't bear it!  I've never been this pregnant!"

He looked at her, from over The Sun.  "How's that possible?"

"Well, think about it.  I had Starr when I was seven months along.  I lost Brendan.  Jack was early.  Gosh, this is the furthest along I've ever gotten."

"I'll say."  He hid behind the newspaper.  

"Tawd!" He stayed quiet.  She sat next to him, lowering herself to the couch.  "My back hurts, my feet are huge.  Ugh.  I'm sort of fed up with myself."

He put the paper down.  "Don't be, babe.  It won't be long now.  You're beautiful."  He went to kiss her cheek.  She turned away and reached to massage her foot, and couldn't  He held the pucker in the air, for a moment, before patting his legs.  "Come on, swing them up here." She tried, and couldn't.  He got up, took her ankles, and moved them over his lap as he sat back down.  He massaged her feet carefully.  She had started crying.  "Am I hurting you?"

"No!" she shouted, "I'm ugly and I'm too fat to bring my own feet up.  I don't have any purpose but to be home here and be huge,"  she sobbed.

He put his arms around her.  "Don't cry, Blair.  Come on.  There's lots of things you're involved in.  You're doing great editing on the stories.  You're a great mother.  You're my beautiful wife."

She sniffled.  "I'm bored here.  I don't want to be in the house fat and puffy."

He tried not to laugh.  "You're not."

"I want do something important."

"You are, you're bringing our baby into the world, Blair, what can be better than that?"

"I don't know!"  She cried more.  He had no recourse but to hold her and let her cry.  He rubbed her shoulders and hugged her close.

***

Sitting under a very large tree in its shade was Devon.  The book was over his lap, and his head was tipped back, against the tree.  He was lost in thought, or asleep, as Jessica made her way toward him.  

"Hey, am I bothering you?"  she said.

 "No, how could you?  No way."

"Can I?"  she motioned to the ground.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

She looked down to the grass, and plucked some.  "I may be leaving here soon."

He panicked.  She would be at their disposal if she left.  He had to act soon.  "That's great."  He couldn't protect her outside of St. Anne's.  It was too risky.  

"You don't look that happy about it."

"I'd miss you."

He had chosen a beautiful spot, one they had eaten lunch in before, out of eye shot of the convent, in a grove that was surrounded by trees.  She looked at him, "I would, too.  I mean I would miss you.  Do you think we'll ever see each other again?"

He looked at her, and for a moment, he had the urge to grab her hand and run, with her trailing behind, until he got them far enough away that he could stop and explain.  Instead, he put his hand behind her head and pulled her in for a kiss.  She met his mouth with hers, and he held her bottom lip with both of his.  Pulling back, he continued to go in for more, and their tongues moved in and around each others,' exploring.

He was surprised when she stopped for a moment and said, "I've thought of you, like this."

Hearing that, he moved toward her, removing his shirt, and putting her between him and the ground.  She pulled him close, grabbing at his back with her hands, all the while kissing his mouth and using her tongue to show him how much she wanted him.

He didn't hold back with her, he knew it was the only opportunity, possibly, to ever tell her...he wanted to tell her what he felt.  As much as it had begun as a job for him, everything had changed.  He interrupted the kisses, and moved his mouth to her neck, slowing the pace.  He sighed and said, "Jessica, I have to tell you...I'm in love with you."  A few tears came from her eyes as he moved his mouth to her chest, and kissed her cleavage, running his tongue inside it.  "You don't have to say anything.  I know you're afraid.  I am, too."  He was not lying, about anything now.  He'd never lie to her again, if he got the chance.

She didn't respond with words, but put her hands between them, opening his jeans.  She could feel the warmth from his body, and the rigidness of him.  He loves me.  He moved up her long skirt and slipped her panties off.  Her breathing was hastened, and both of them, nervous to be caught, stopped and looked into each others' eyes for a brief moment.  This brought a deep kiss, and a moan escaped him as he pushed himself inside her, and they rocked against each other in the coolness of the canopy's shade.

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