The Shadows Fall: Chapter 44

"You're a fine looking piece of man, Mr. Manning."  Sister Rebecca greeted him as he came out of the changing room.  "If I were a bit younger and not married to the church..."  She fixed his scrubs cap on his head, and handed him a rubber band.  "Tie your hair back, lad.  I love it, many of the young men in Ireland wear their hair this way."


He couldn't say anything but something gracious to the wonderful older woman.  "Thank you, Sister."


"Now, ya had better get yourself going, before that babe makes an appearance without you."


He took the woman's hand, and in its softness, he felt a great deal of strength.  He squeezed it gently, and turned to the room, entering with a nervous twinge in his stomach.


Blair was on the gurney, her hair matted with sweat.  Doctors and nurses were all around her, and she was crying out, so much, he could barely stand it.  He took her hand, and he told her, in a whisper, "Let's bring Moonbeam home.  You can do this babe.  Squeeze my hand."


"Todd, I can't.  It's too much.  Something's wrong, Todd.  I can't."  He petted her hair, and smoothed it back.


"Shhh," he said, "None of that, you can, you will."


The doctors spoke in urgent, short bursts that were ridden with medical terminology.  Almost afraid to say something, he turned to one of the nurses who was wiping Blair's brow.  "What's happening?"


She looked at him and through her mask, he could see that she was smiling, it was in her eyes.  "It's all right, Mr. Manning.  The baby was breech; the doctor turned the baby, though, and things seem to be evening out.  She will be all right.  Just hang with her, she needs you."


He turned back to Blair, "Everything is going to be okay.  The baby's okay.  You're okay."


"I'm tired.  I can't."


"You can."  He took her hand and kissed it.  "You can.  You're a born mother, Blair.  You can do this.  I know you can.  I'm here."


"Todd," she said, tears flowing, "finally.  You're with me, you're with us."


"I know, babe."


The doctor at the foot of the gurney said loudly, "All right, Blair, when I tell you, it's going to be time to push.  All right?"


"Yes," she said.


"All right, push now.  Push."


Todd could neither make the moments go faster, nor hold onto them.  Time seemed to flash by and also drone on.  In a strange science fiction way, he felt detached.  Amazed at the proceedings: her crying, then screaming, him coaching her the way he never thought he could, the noises of the medical team, the instruments around them, the lights and the beeps, his own heart racing in his chest, her hand squeezing his in a vice-like grip, the doctor's voice with instructions.  All of it was surreal for him, because inside, he still could not let go of the ominous sense of doom that he knew had to be around the corner.  Fighting it, he cooed to her, and told he loved her as many times as he could get it out.


"There we go."  The doctor said.  It was silent.  His heart leaped into his chest.


"You did it, babe, it's over, you did it."  He kissed her forehead and waited.  Nothing.


"Todd, what is it?  It's too quiet.  No!  No!"  She cried, and broke into sobs.  The team was rushing around, and no one was telling them a thing.


He said, "Is the baby all right?"


One nurse suctioned the baby's airways and another gently lifted him and placed him on Blair's chest.  He wasn't crying.


"Todd, look at him."


Todd, beside himself with fear, looked into the baby's face.  "He's so beautiful,"  he said, tearing up.  "Why isn't he crying?"


"Not all babies cry, it's all right, some of them are into the world and just accept it.  As long as he is breathing, he's fine."  The nurse said, quietly.


Blair's voice was so weak.  "Todd, he's here.  Moonbeam."


"He's here, babe,"  he kissed her forehead again, and her eyes closed, at the same time that a monitor went off.


"She's hypovolemic, stat.  She'll need blood.  We've got to stop this bleeding."


"What?  What is it?"  A nurse took the baby off Blair's chest and moved him to the clean up area, and Todd, frantic, said, "Blair?  Blair can you hear me?"


"Mr. Manning, come with me, we'll wash up the baby and you can hold him."


"I can't leave my wife, please," he said, but he was directed with more push than pleading into the next room.  The medical team, waiting for the surgeon, had sprung into action the moment she had faded.  He walked into the clean up room, and the nurse said, "Let them take care of her, Mr. Manning."  The baby was tiny and perfect, and was looking at him.  He looked into the baby's face and said,  "Hi.  Don't worry, I'm not going to really name you Moonbeam.  But you do have a beautiful Moonpie face.  You look just like Jack.  Oh, God."  He walked to the corner, and sat in a chair, gripping his head with both hands.


The nurse walked to him, the baby dressed and clean.  "Would you like to hold your son?"


He took him, and cradled him with all of the care and caution he had in his heart.  "He's beautiful,"  he looked at the nurse.  "Please," tears came, "please let me go to my wife now.  I have to be with her."


The nurses took the baby from him, and putting him in a little cart with clear plastic sides, they named him, "Baby Manning," and wheeled him away.  Another orderly accompanied him to the waiting area by Blair's surgical room.  He sat, and realized he was going to be sick.  Putting his head between his knees, the orderly quickly fetched a basin and he emptied his stomach into it.  "Find out if she is okay, please."


The orderly left him, and before he had a chance to take in his surroundings, Sister Rebecca, Jessica, Viki and Addie were standing ten feet from him.  Viki was talking to the doctor.  Todd could not get up.  He just looked at them, and Jessica spotted him.  She said, "There's Todd."


The group proceeded to him, Viki in the lead.  He looked at her, "Sis, she did it.  She made our little boy."  He was between shock and sobbing.  Viki sat by him and put her arm around his shoulders.  "They won't tell me anything.  They took her, I don't...I don't know."  Sister Rebecca sat on the other side of Todd.  Her headpiece had been discarded hours before, and she was looking so different, he hardly recognized her.  "I can't...I can't do it Viki.  I won't do it without her."


"Now, dear, that's too much for you to even think about, eh?  Then you mustn't think about it."  The nun said.  "Did ya see ya'r baby?"


"Yeah.  I held him.  He's so perfect.  He's perfect because of her, only because of her."


"He's perfect because of both of you, Todd."  Viki said, petting his head.  She got up and walked off and Jessica took her spot on the bench.  Addie was wringing her hands and walking back and forth.


Jessica said, "Uncle Todd, she's strong."


"She was so weak, Jessica.  She was so tired.  She looked so small."  He broke.


"Now listen here, I've met the woman, she's not a quitter.  And ya best not be either.  Ya have to have faith in her,"  the nun said.


"I do.  It's me.  It's me I don't have faith in.  I don't...I can't."


Jessica went after her mother.  "Mom, he's totally shattered.  What's going on?  Someone has to know something."


"He's shattered because of himself.  He can't believe this will be all right.  Nothing in his life has ever been all right.  He's already decided it will end in the worst way possible."


"What if it does?"


"Oh, Jessy, let's not go there right now, please."


Suddenly, a door opened and a doctor stepped out.  "Mr. Manning?"


Todd could not get up, until he felt the strong hand of the nun under his arm, and she said, "It's all right, Lad, The Lord is with you."


"Yes?" he heard himself answer.


"You can see her now.  She's resting, out of the woods for the time being.  We transfused her, and stopped her bleeding.  Not too long, all right?  She needs her rest."


He pushed through the two doors, and there she was, even tinier in the bed.  He went to her side and pulled up a rolling stool to sit on.  "Blair?  It's me."


She opened her eyes and looked at him.  "The baby."


"The baby's fine.  I held him.  He's beautiful, Blair, just like you."


"He's got your eyes, I saw them."


"He's ours.  I love you."


"I love you, Todd.  I've always loved you."


"I've always loved you, Blair. "


"Can I see him?"


"I'll ask."


Leaving her side a moment, he returned, and told her, "I have to go get him.  I'll be right back."
 
Within a few minutes, Todd was wheeling his son to Blair's side, so that she could see him, along with the head nurse.  The nurse said, "Don't let her hold him, right now, she's too weak.  Hold him for her."


He picked him up and showed him to her, and she touched his little hands and face and began to cry.  "Oh, Todd, he's so perfect."


"I know, babe."


"Hi, my little Moonbeam,"  she said, "I'm your mommy.  This is your daddy."  She closed her eyes.


He gently placed the baby back into the cart, and readied, along with the nurse, to return him to the nursery, when Blair stirred again.  "Raymond Thomas Manning."


"Ray will love this."  Todd said.


"He's a ray of moonlight." 


"He is."  Todd said, choking up.  "I'm going to bring him back now, so the family can see him."


"All right."


"I love you, Blair."


"I love you, Todd." Blair said before drifting off.


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