Battle the Dark: Chapter 23

Blair looked at Starr and said, "I miss my baby.  I miss my boys."

Starr said, "I knew you would.  But should they come home?  You have so much to worry about right now."

Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Maybe they should all worry about it together?  Isn't it hard for the boys to be without their mother?"

Starr thought about it, "I guess you're right.  The baby is running out of breast milk, Sam is really having a hard time, and Jack, well, that goes without saying.  He understands all of it and can't really face what he knows."

Blair said, "Then they should come home.  I need to keep what's Todd's going.  When he vanished in Ireland, I kept his paper going and brought his daughter into this world.  And now, I can't let his finest work suffer.  And, his finest work is his family.  His children."  Blair said.  Somehow, she was strengthening in front of their eyes.  "I have to fight, just like I know he is right now," her voice broke, "I think...if he were dead, at this point, I'd know it."

Sister Rebecca Katherine said, "Yes, dear.  You are probably right about that, but more importantly, you are right about your little men.  They must be home, with you."

Blair picked up the phone.  "Shaun, I want you to bring the boys home.  I need them here with me.  I'm not giving up on Todd Manning.  I have to keep his family strong."

Shaun said, "I'm glad you called, I was just into a little scene here with one of those boys."

"What do you mean?"  Blair asked.

"Jack.  He was acting pretty strangely earlier, and I caught him, drinking from the alcohol cabinet.  To be fair, he's really having a tough time, but you're right, he needs to be with you.  He needs some kind of signal that his family is not shattered.  I know it's a lot to handle, Blair.  Just want you to know I am here if you need me."

"I appreciate all of this, Shaun.  When can you bring them?"

"Now, if you like.  I'll have them pack.  By the way, that baby is an angel."

"I know he is,"  she choked up, "and I miss him, so.  Please bring them home."  She hung up.  She looked at Starr, holding back tears.  "Your brother is in trouble."

"Goodness, what's wrong with the lad, and which one is it?"  The nun said.

"The eldest.  He's not able to...he's not good at coping."  Then, she thought, "He's so like Todd said he was at that age."

"You'll help him, dear.  I guess I best be heading back to St. Anne's."

"No, wait, why are you leaving?  Sister, I am going to need help.  Is there any way you can ask them if you can stay with us for a while, just until we get settled and through these first few days?"

She was honored.  "Yes, I am certain they will understand.  Someone in need is just that."

Starr said, "I want to be here, too.  I'll get Hope and we'll all move in, unless you want to be at La Boulaie."

"No, I can't leave our home, Starr.  It makes me feel . . ." she broke into tears, and then said, "You're welcome to come too, and so is grandma, if she wants to.  We'll make room.  You can have Sam's room, and he can bunk with Jack.  All right?"

"Yes, I'll go call Shaun to bring them, too.  Shaun will have to come, too, for extra security.  Dad would want us protected around the clock."

"It's a plan," Blair said, and watched her daughter go.  Her face turned down, as she was alone again with the nun.  "I don't know if I can do this, but I am going to try."

"Trying is half the battle.  Have faith, you will be fine.  I am right here, and Shaun, and your mother.  It will be all right?"

"I'm a little worried about having my mother this close to my grief.  It will upset her so much.  She loves Todd also, and has thought of him like a son.  I don't think that she has the strength to watch me fall apart, which I know I will be doing.  I don't know how to explain it, Sister.  Something about being around you brings me comfort."

"Whatever you want, my heart.  In fact, maybe we should figure out this space sharing when everyone gets here.  They all may have different ideas."

Blair accepted this, and waited to receive her boys back home.

***

Amid the machines and staff inside the ICU at Llanview Hospital, Jessica walked slowly into Devon's room, the sounds of various beeps and monitors the backdrop to her own hastened breathing.  He was so still, and still looked gray.  She pulled the chair closer to his bed, and sat.  A tube was fastened in his mouth, and he did not stir.  His eyes were closed.  She took his hand, which was dangling over the bed's edge a bit, and held it.  He did not respond.  She spoke, "Devon?"

He did not move or answer, and Jessica, lifted his hand and put it against her cheek.  She so wanted him to come alive and touch her, so she could say everything she wanted to say.  Viki, who was in the hallway waiting for her, watched through the glass windows that lined his room.  Worried for her daughter, she kept a watchful eye.  

"Devon, it's me, Jessica." He still made no response.  She continued, "Devon, can you hear me?  I'm sorry," she began to cry.  "I'm so sorry.  I was wrong."

Nothing.

"Please, come back to us.  I want to tell you everything that I didn't.  I want to tell you...I just have to see you smile again, and talk to you."

Nothing.

"Remember how we first met?  It was outside, at St. Anne's, on the bench?  I thought you were so handsome, and you had your book with you?  I never imagined then, that I would fall for you, and love you.  But I did, and it was so good having that again.  It was so easy, between us, everything just seemed to fall into place.  I'm sorry, though, that I let it go this far.  You saved my life, I should have let that whole mess go, but I didn't.  Now, I wish I did."

Devon did not make a sound or movement, and her tears fell.  Viki came in behind her.  "Jessie, darling, let's go and get some coffee.  He's not ready to come back yet."

"What if he never does," she covered her mouth, "and he never hears me say this?"

"He will, honey, he will.  Let's go to the cafeteria for a while.  We'll come back, soon, and you can talk with him some more."

As they left, neither noticed his left hand move to his side.

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