Battle the Dark: Chapter 44

The gates at Statesville made a noise that he remembered well from his time there.  Over the past eight years, when he was playing at being Todd Manning, Zeus had encountered prison, and even came close to being executed.  Being there did not put him at ease.  He sat, on the visitor's side of the glass, and waited.


A few moments passed, and through the door came Carlo, in an orange jump suit.  He sat at the inmate's side of the glass, and said, "I see you've come to pay respects to your father."


"I have, that is, if you are my father.  Are you?"


"You do realize that your actions put me in this place again."


"Your actions did that, not mine."


Carlo's eyes became slits, then opened again.  "You dare to taunt me?"


"I'm not taunting.  I came here for one reason.  Are you my father?"


"You believe I'd tell you?  You believe I'd ever tell you, or ever care what you do or where you are?  You are nothing to me, nothing!  I have washed my hands of you, and should have when you became a sniveling mess over one Todd Manning.  You'll have to find out on your own, whether or not you are my son.  I have no interest in being your father.  You disgust me.  You are the sorriest excuse for a human being, in my eyes."  He got up and walked to the door, and knocked, waiting for the guard.


Zeus sat for a moment, and said, "I was hoping you'd say that, since I'd never want to be seen any other way in those evil eyes of yours.  You've actually made my day.  Goodbye, Father."  And he turned and left.


Carlo looked after him with a strange expression.  It was one of regret and admiration along with anger.


***

Todd and Blair had put the younger kids to bed, and were getting ready to turn in.  Sitting by the window and watching some of the last lights in the city go out, they stood, by the wall of glass, his arm protectively around her.  Jack didn't really want to disturb them, so he made it halfway down the staircase, and then started to turn and retreat, when Todd said, "Son, come here.  What is it?"


Jack walked a few stairs down and sat, on the staircase.  He put his elbows on his knees, and his chin resting on his palms.  "Nothin, really."


Todd flashed a smile to Blair.  She said, "I'm going up now.  Todd, I'll run the bath."


He leaned over and hiding it from Jack, he gently bit her on her jawbone.  "I'll be there soon." She exited, looking back at him, and when passing Jack on the staircase, she gently pulled the front of her camisole down to reveal her cleavage.  He stared after her for a few moments, and then cleared his throat.  "You want to talk to me, huh?"


"Yeah."


"All right."


"Can you stay there, with your back to me?  It's really hard for me to say it."


"Sure."


"First, the easy part is I'm sorry for saying those things to Sam.  I...wasn't myself."


"I accept.  Your mother does too, I'm sure."


"I already apologized to her."


"All right."  He waited.  He wanted to give the boy space.


"Next, is a little harder.  I...well I screwed up bad while you were gone."


"How bad?  Crashed my SUV?  Broke my tablet?"


"No.  Nothing like that.  I drank.  A lot."


Todd said, "Can I turn around?  Please?  It's hard for me to do this without seeing you.  If it gets hard for you again, I promise I'll turn my back to you."


"All right."


He jumped a stair, and grimaced at the pain in his side.  "Whoa, not yet." He sat beside Jack.  "Okay, you drank a lot.  What did you learn from it?"


"It didn't help me."


"No, I'd say it didn't.  It caused you to really hurt your brother.  If I had not come back, do you realize what he would have dealt with for the rest of his life?"


"I do now.  I didn't then."


"It was a mistake, but that means that you learn from it, and you don't repeat it."


"I know.  I apologized to him, too.  He said it was okay, because Ray told him that I was wrong.  I wasn't old enough to know things.  In a way, maybe Ray is right."


"Maybe."


"Dad, something else."


"Okay, shoot."


"I keep having nightmares."


"About?"


"What you went through.  One reason I told Sam was because it was bothering me so much.  Like haunting."


"I understand that," he said, clearing his throat.


"I dreamed of it so much, I couldn't sleep anymore.  So, I drank to get tired."


"Did that work?"


"Not really.  I had to drink so much that I would pass out.  Other times, I'd be sitting there, thinking, and the pictures of it would just come into my head.  When I imagined what it would be like without you, I wanted to die.  Really."


He put his arm around him, "You don't have to worry about that.  Did you talk to Ray about this?"


"Yeah.  A lot.  I wasn't really going to kill myself, I just didn't want to be in a world without you and Mom.  And the things I imagined, they might have been worse than the real stuff, that's what Ray said."


Todd did not let on that his therapist was wrong about that; instead, he said, "Probably so.  Just like a movie, you watch it and when you cover your eyes, you conjure up something worse, right?"  For his son's sake, it was best he did not know.  There were times for truth and times for lies.


"Okay.  I feel better then.  Dad, when you were captive, did you think of us?"


Todd teared up, "Every day.  I even heard your voice when I needed it most."


"Really?  What did I say?"


Todd paused and said, "You said, 'badass.'"


"That's totally cool."


"It is.  It's the coolest having you as my son."  He brought his head toward him, and kissed the top of it, fighting back emotion.


"Well, thanks, Dad.  I just wanted to be up front with you, that's all."  He got up and turned to walk the stairs, at the top, he turned back.  "Dad?"  Todd acknowledged him with a nod, "I love you.  I'm glad you're a badass."


Todd closed his eyes, and though he usually responded to his children when they spoke, he couldn't without breaking down.  He wiped his eyes with his thumbs, and Blair walked down the steps, sitting behind him, a step higher.  She wrapped her arms around him and said, "You're that boy's everything."


He could not speak.  Tears were coming faster, and it was the first bout of painful and difficult emotion he had faced since coming home.  


She hugged his head to her, from behind him, and kissed his scar.  "It's all right.  It will take time.  You know this.  It's different, sure, but it will take time."  He brushed the tears from under his eyes again, but they continued to come.  She said, "Jack will be all right."


He finally composed himself.  "I know he will.  He has you for a mother," his voice cracked and he leaned back against her.  She was careful not to bump or brush his wounds.  Instead, she took his face in her hands, and turned it up, so that she could kiss his mouth upside down.  He wrapped his good arm around her neck and pulled her closer.


The kiss ended and she said, "You don't have to do anything, Todd.  We can just soak, talk, just lie there, or sleep.  No expectations."


"What if I have them?"  He said, tweaking the little space between her eyebrows that he liked to poke fun of.


"That's a different story," she said.  "But there's nothing I want more than to make you feel loved and safe tonight.  Whatever that takes."


He stood up, and held out his hand.  She took it, and he put his arm around her waist.  She did the same, and they climbed the stairs together. 


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.