The Devil You Know: Chapter 27

When they got back to the hotel, Todd muttered something and headed for the bar.  Blair was ready to follow, but Starr stopped her.  “Let me try, please?” she pleaded.  Her mother had been taking on a lot with her father for the past few months and she felt she needed a break.  After a minute, Blair nodded and took Sam’s hand, leading him to the elevator. 

Starr nodded for Jack to follow, but her brother shook his head.  “You’ll need help.  You know how he can get.”

Silently thankful for her brother’s assistance, they headed into the lounge.  Todd was there, throwing back a shot.  Starr looked at him and let out a sigh, asking him cautiously, “Are you okay Dad?”

Todd looked at his little girl, all grown up now.  Even though he had just sat down, he already looked haggard.  “Yeah, I’m doing fine,” he answered, but it was a lie and he knew that Starr knew it was one too.

“You’ve been through a lot today.  But Harry seemed nice.  You could tell he loved your mother,” Jack piped in.  “It was kind of weird, seeing all those baby pictures of you.  Maybe we should have asked for a few, you know, for Aunt Viki.  She would have loved one for Llanfair.”

“Maybe if you have dinner with him again before we leave, you could ask him for some of them.  I’m sure your mother would have wanted you to have them eventually,” Starr added. 

Todd put his glass down and shifted his eyes between his kids.  “Look, I know you’re trying to make this better, but really, I just kinda need to be alone,” he told them.

“Not happening,” Starr said with an edge of defiance in her voice.  “Dad, you need to talk to someone, and in all honesty, Mom needs a break from this.  So you’re going to talk to us.”  She took his glass off the bar and headed to a table.  She set it down and stared at him, hands on her hips. 

A perverse sort of laughter bubbled out of Todd.  When he went over and sat down, Starr’s look turned confused, so he explained, “That the best impression of your Aunt Viki I’ve ever seen.”  He took another sip as the sodas the kids ordered came over.  “Starr, I’ve never been good a sharing my feelings, you know that.”

“Yeah, I do.  You just bottle them up, get suspicious and explode all over the place.  Why don’t you try it this way for as change?” she asked.

He nodded and looked at Jack.  “You remember the day at the tuxedo shop when you asked why Bitsy didn’t keep trying to get me?”  Jack nodded.  “Well, it got me wondering why she gave up on me.  And even today, with Harry saying he did try, it…doesn’t put me at ease.  I was still stuck with Peter.”  He gave a knowing look to Jack.  “And that screwed me up so much.”

“Dad, you not Peter,” Starr consoled him.  Knowing where his mind would go next, she added, “And you are not Victor.  You are a great dad, so please, stop thinking that way.”

Todd tried to smile, to put her calm her.  “I know,” he said very quietly.  “Look, I just need time to myself.  I promise I won’t do anything stupid.  Just, give me a hour, okay?”

Jack looked to Starr and gave her an imploring gaze.  Starr relented finally but told him “If you don’t get back upstairs in an hour, we are going to come looking fro you.”

“Thank you.  I…I’ll see you in an hour.”  With that assurance, his children left.

Upstairs, Blair had settled Sam down and went into the bedroom to call Harry Redding.  When the line picked up, Blair said, “Hello again.”

“Hello Blair,” he replied.  “I want to thank you again.  Your visit today was so wonderful.  I’m saddened Barbara wasn’t here.  She would have been just bursting with pride at seeing Todd and his family.”

“It was wonderful of you to have us over.  And I want to assure you, we will be meeting you for dinner tomorrow night.  I’ll call you with the details after I talk to Todd,” Blair informed him.  “I do have a request of you though.”

“Anything I can do, I will absolutely.”

“When you meet with us, can you bring some of the pictures of Todd?  I would like some for our home and I know his sister Viki would like some as well,” she asked.  “Just one thing, though.  None with Peter Manning, please.”

“Of course.  Todd should have them.  And I’ll put the ones with Peter away,” Harry said.  Then he paused before continuing.  “How bad was Peter?”

Blair didn’t answer immediately.  The truth was, she wasn’t even sure.  “He was physically abusive, beatings and he would burn Todd with a lighter.  I know there was verbal abuse.  Beyond that…”  Her voice traveled off, breaking a bit.  “Todd has never really confirmed the full extent of it.  And I never pushed him for the answers.”

“Well, despite that, Todd seems like he’s a good father.  And you seem to love him very much,” Harry said. 

“He is and I do so much.  I’ll call tomorrow about dinner.  Thank you again Harry.”  With that, she ended the call.

Walking back into the main room of the suite, she found Starr and Jack returning.  She looked around for Todd, but saw that he wasn’t there.  “Where’s your father?” she asked, growing concerned.

“He wanted some time alone at the bar,” Jack informed his mother.  “I think today wiped him out a bit.”

Blair headed towards to door, when Starr called out, “Mom, he wants to be alone.”

Blair looked at her first-born.  “Do you think it’s a good idea that he should be alone right now, in a bar?”  When Starr shook her head silently, Blair went on.  “I’ve dealt with your daddy in one of these moods.  He needs me right now.”  With that said, she left. 

When she got down to the bar, she saw Todd sitting at the table the kids had left him at.  He was staring at a glass with just ice in it, and swirling the cubes around.  “Hey there.  Is anyone sitting here?” she asked him.

He looked up at her but merely waved her into the seat.  For a few minutes they sat there in silence.  Finally, Todd said, “I wonder what my life would have been like if Bitsy had managed to get me away from Peter.”  When Blair didn’t answer, he looked at her.  “Really, think about it.  If she and Harry had managed to win custody of me all those years ago, what would that Todd Manning have been like?”

“Well, they would probably have been more honest with you earlier on.  About being adopted, about your biological father.  Bitsy’s letters mentioned the inheritance, mentioned something about that right?  And you would have probably grown up more secure in the notions of love and honesty,”  Blair said.  “Then again, if that had happened, I doubt we would have met.”

“You think so?” he asked, the question coming out in a curious tone.

“Well, if that was the Todd Manning who had been in Llanview, you would have probably smelled gold-digger on me right away.  That means we would never have had our courtship, such as it was,” she replied, a smile playing on her lips.

“Right, where you told me you were pregnant so you could cash in on my inheritance with me,” he replied, a hint of teasing in his voice.  It was an old game they played, but one he had grown fond of over the years. 

She caught his tone.  “Yes, Todd, but we made it work.  Three kids, a media empire.  Our love.  Despite all the obstacles that have been thrown in our way, mostly by ourselves, I wouldn’t trade them in for anything.”

Todd too her hand and kissed her fingers.  As he was doing that, his eyes caught sight of a piano in the corner of the lounge.  Ever since he saw the piano at Harry’s earlier, he felt himself drawn to the instrument.  He got up and went over, sitting on the bench. 

Blair followed and sat next to him.  “I called Harry to thank him again and I told him we would meet him for dinner tomorrow night.”  By the time Blair was telling him this though, he had started fiddling with the keys.  No discernable song was forthcoming,  but she could tell he was concentrating, as if trying to remember something.  At last, a very familiar tune began sounding out.  Blair gasped, remembering it and remembering a particular night she heard it.                

He had played two verses when he suddenly stopped and came out of the trance-like state he’d been in while playing.  He blinked twice and turned to her.  “Was I just…?”

“You were play ‘Unforgettable’ and doing a pretty damn good job of it,” she said, running her fingers through his hair.  “I never knew you would know that song.”

“I didn’t.  I’m mean, even that night at Rodi’s, we both had the same opinion of that song.  But somehow, just now, I knew it,” he told her.  “How did I know it?”

“Well, Harry said your mother used to say you were her best student.  Maybe something’s triggered in you and you’re remembering parts of your childhood that you suppressed.  Kind of like Viki with what Victor did with her,” Blair reasoned. 

“Great, so I’m cracking up?  Remember, I’ve been down this route before, faking all the way,” Todd asked, panic in his voice. 

“Todd, you also suffer from PTSD.  You’ve been under a lot of strain for a year almost.  This may be a symptom, or it may be release,” she explained, trying to calm him.  He had his back to her, so she turned him back towards her.  “Todd, Peter did a lot of damage to you,” she took a breath, seeming to come to a decision.  She led him  back to the table in the lounge.  “When I had Spinelli do the check on you he found the article about the recital, but he also found a police report from the same night.  Peter…Peter beat your mother so severely that she had to be hospitalized.  And you, you ran away and were found a while later by Harry Redding.” Tear sprang from her eyes. 

“So what are saying?” he asked.

“I’m no expert, but maybe you suppressed a lot of your memories from that night.  At the wedding I asked Victor if he remembered the incident, but he didn’t  If he didn’t then they may not have been given up during the brainwashing by you.”  She wasn’t really sure what she was saying, but to her mind, it sounded plausible.  “Todd, I think when we get back to Port Charles, you need to talk to someone, an expert.”

“No, Blair, not happening!” he shouted.  “I don’t do shrinks.”  Then he turned back to the piano.  In a quiet voice that belied the roar that had just leapt from his throat, he asked nodding his head, “Was I good?”

Blair smiled at him and hugged him from behind.  “It was very good.”

“Maybe we should perform at the Nurses’ Ball.  What d you think?” 

Blair knew what he was doing, changing the subject.  But she allowed him, deciding to go along with him.  “I would love to do that.”

“Fine then.  When we get home, we’ll let Lucy know.  But I want to keep it a surprise.  We’ll spring it on everyone.  I know my sister will get a kick out of it.”  Then Todd looked at his watch.  “Let’s grab the kids and get some dinner.  With that, he strode off, not noticing she wasn’t following.

Blair watched him walk away.  She loved him so much, but a familiar sensation was gripping her.  It was one she hadn’t felt since he had left for Ireland.  She was becoming afraid for his life, maybe not in the physical sense, but in other ways, that could take him from her as swiftly as a car over a cliff nearly had, years ago.


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