The End of Blame: Chapter 48

"I'm home," Todd said, closing the door to Unforgettable.

"You might want to turn right around after you hear this.  But, wait," she said, looking at him.  "You've been gone quite a while, Todd.  Was your session all right?"

He sighed, "I needed to clear my head.  I'm all right.  I'll tell you more about it later.  What's up?"

She knew it was bigger than that, but she let it go.  "I had a huge fight, with Tea."

"This is something new?"

"Todd, you were gone for eight years.  We didn't fight.  Well, as much.  Whatever. . . we fought."

"Who won?"

"Todd, really.  Stop.  I guess I did," she said, folding her arms.  "She's such a bitter bitch right now."

"Why?  She's got her life, you've got yours.  I never could . . ."

"Love her the way she deserved to be loved, I know,"  she rolled her eyes.  "Anyway, we fought.  She's trying to tell Zeus not to let go of Sam."

"Zeus can make his own decisions, Blair.  What exactly did you say to her?"

"Nothing.  Well, nothing bad.  Well, nothing too bad or that she didn't deserve to hear.  And she started it."

"That," he said, tweaking her nose, "I can imagine."

"Todd?  Are you really all right?"

"I'll talk to you about it later, okay, Babe?  I'm fine."  he said.

She nodded.  He turned back to the door.  She said, "Where are you going?"

"To see Zeus.  I already filed papers.  I'm going to ask him to let us take Sam."

After making his way off the mountain, Todd approached Zeus' home.  Zeus opened the door, and said, "Todd.  I guess I'll say 'come in.'"

"Thanks."

"Our wives are at it."

"Yep, mine told me."

"I don't know what happened.  Just one day, Tea said she'd had enough and just started to be pissed off at Blair.  And you.  Probably more you."

He laughed, "To be honest, that's not new for her."

"I know.  I've heard."

"Zeus, I came here to talk to you about something else.  I guess, I'm asking you . . ."

"You want to adopt Sam.  I already know."

"Yeah.  I guess that's it."

"He's my son, Todd."

"Well, if you don't mind my saying so, why haven't you acted like it?"

"No, you got me wrong.  I don't mean I deserve him, or anything like that.  He's just my son, and it's hard to let go.  Do you know how he was conceived?"

"I heard.  You were forced.  The mother was. . . well, not so well.  I'm sorry.  I can't stand here and pretend that rape is something I'm not versed in.  You know my deal."

"Pretty much.  I'm sorry for that, too."

"Listen, I love this kid.  He loves me.  He loves Blair, you know that.  He's my son, regardless of all the biology.  He wants to be with us."  Todd explained.

"I know.  I've been thinking on it a while."

"When do you leave?"

"We go in a day or so.  Something new.  I want to be near my mother, Todd.  She was the only mother who I knew and who showed me love.  I think it will be a good start for us."

"I can understand that.  And that's why I know you're going to do the right thing where Sam is concerned.  Blair is the only mother he has ever known, aside from that, Marcy, is it?"

"Yeah, she ran off with him when he was a baby.  She loved him too, I can't say she didn't."

"If you can't see your way clear to signing over your parental rights, can you at least allow Blair's adoption of him to go through?  She loves him.  And with losing Sommer . . ."

Zeus said, "I've thought of that.  I haven't made my decision yet, Todd, but I want you to know that I am doing what's right for Sam, not anyone else."

"That's the way it should be." Todd said, turning to go.

"Todd?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Can you say, with one hundred percent certainty, that you would never hurt that little boy?"

Todd sighed, "Yes.  I can say that.  I'd die before anything ever happened to him.  Can you?"

He said, "Never mind about me.  I just wanted to know about you.  I knew what the answer would be.  You're different than I am, in a lot of ways, Todd.  You gave up your freedom and your life, to go back to that Michael Leona guy, and experience that torture, so that the baby and Blair would not be hurt.  I am not sure I would have been that strong."

"Nothing strong about it.  I couldn't have lived if anything happened to Blair or the baby.  It was all self-centered, just like Tea and others would have you believe.  Point is, I'd die for Sam, Starr, Jack, Ray, Hope or Blair.  Or anyone I love.  These people are my lifeline.  Being apart from them, and having my soul ripped at for eight years just made them mean all the more to me."  He pushed his hands into his front pants pockets and said, "Just sayin'.  I love that little boy, just so you know, and I'd be proud to call him my son."  Todd said, turning to the door.  "Good luck with your family."

"Todd?"  Zeus said.

Todd was already outside the door.  The sun was playing on his long hair, which he had tied in an elastic.  Two strands fell on either side of his face.  "Yeah?"

"Sam's adoption by Blair will go through.  I promise that."

"Thank you.  Good luck with the move.  I hope you find everything you want out there."

He made his way to the limo, and got in.  Leaning back against the black leather seats, he stared out the window.  Manning, at least you got her what she wants.  He's going to be her baby.  Always.  Good show.  One gone, but another yours, Babe.

The drive was long, but he rested, feeling as if he might doze.  He'd taken out his elastic ponytail holder, so he didn't have to feel it against his neck.  He put it on his wrist, and for a moment, he didn't even think of the scars he had there.  It was as if they were fading, in his mind and on his body.  He picked up the phone.  "Hey, Blair.  It's me."

"Hi, you."

"He's going to let you adopt Sam."

"Oh Todd, thank you!"  she said, and he could hear her happiness in her voice.  "You're so good to me.  What about you?"

"Probably not.  But I thought you'd be happy about this, at least we're that far.  He'll be your son, no question about it.  I'll be home in a few hours, going to The Sun.  Just wanted to tell you."  He hung up.  "Williams, the paper, will ya?"  he said, from the back seat.

***

Later that evening, just before the sun went down, Todd pulled up in front of the house.  Getting out, he was ransacked by Blair and Sam, both were shouting.  Blair stopped, and Sam yelled "I'm gonna be your kid!  I'm gonna be your kid!"

"Wait, hang on, Sam!"  Todd said.

"No, he's right.  Look."  She showed Todd a copy of the paperwork.  "There, signed, approved.  He signed over his parental rights, Todd.  You did it.  Whatever you said to him worked."  She hugged him, and in his ear said, "You didn't threaten his life, did you?"

He smiled, hugging her back, "No, I didn't.  I promised to give mine," he looked at Sam, "if I ever needed to."

She pulled back and looking into his hazel eyes, she said, "Thank you."

He nodded, and the three of them went into the house.  Todd said, "Where's Jack?"

"Right here," he said, coming down the stairs.  "I was finishing my paper.  Hey, Dad.  I hear we're going to adopt Sam."

"Yeah, looks like it."

"That's good.  Now the little runt can stop complaining."

"I wasn't complaining all that much," Sam said.

"I'll throw you in the pool, in your clothes . . ."  Jack teased.

"Can I Mom?"

"No, you cannot.  Now, Sam, go do that homework."

"Oh, brother," he said, taking the stairs as slowly as possible.

Jack said, "Dad, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Son, what's up?"

Blair said, "I'm going to help the newest legal Manning with his assignments.  Be right back."

Todd walked Jack into the living room, and they sat.  It was a beautiful, mid-September night, and Blair had started a fire.  Todd said, "What's on your mind?"

"Orinia."

"You know, that's my bad, Son.  You tried to talk to me about it the first night we were home."

"It's not what you think.  I liked her, yeah.  I thought maybe I loved her, but I didn't even know her.  She lied about her age. She was 21, that's too much even for a chick magnet like me."

Todd smiled.  "So, what's on your mind?"

"Love.  I wonder about it.  I wanted to ask you.  The thing you and Mom have.  How does someone get that?"

Todd looked into his son's eyes and felt the pull of being his father.  He said, "You don't 'get' it.  It happens.  Believe it or not, your mother and I both have tried to stop it, over time.  It never worked.  We learned that we had to be with each other, and couldn't be apart.  We're better together.  I guess that's it."

"When this Orinia thing happened, I was all down, and depressed.  I thought I loved her, but now I'm pretty sure I was wrong.  But after, I just wanted to love her, you know?  I just wanted to have this thing you have.  The way you look at each other.  The way you are together.  Not to be funny, Dad, but when you were gone, she had other guys.  One of them was McPain."

"Jack, we talked about that."

"Sorry, one of them was McBain.  She never once acted like she does now.  Not even with Zeus.  When I watch you, I get this weird feeling, like I'm jealous or like I'm embarrassed, but I can't stop looking."

"That sounds like us, yeah.  A trainwreck."

"I don't know.  She's been through some really tough stuff, Dad.  While you were gone, especially.  Her choices were not always the greatest.  But with you home, she's so happy.  It makes us happy to see her that way.  Thank you for fighting to get home to us, Dad.  You've changed everything."

Todd, not knowing what to say, put his hand on his son's cheek, and patted it.  Jack looked away and said, "I gotta go.  Gotta meet someone on twitter," and he raced up the stairs, as Todd watched him go, knowing that soon, everything he missed with Jack would be even more fleeting when he was finally a man.

A few minutes later, Blair appeared.  She was wearing a lounging outfit that had a sheer top, and under it was a lace camisole.  He was awestruck at first, just how the firelight hit her, and of course, she was in white.  He just looked at her and she walked closer, sitting next to him.  Without a word, she put her head onto his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her, to bring her closer.  She said, "Did I thank you for loving us, today, Todd?"

He shook his head, "Nope."

"Thank you, Todd."

"It's all selfish, all this.  I just want my family, Blair."

"I know you do."  She sat for a moment, quietly against his arm.  "How did your session go?"

He looked into the fire.  "Fine.  Why?"

"It wasn't even 48 hours ago that you couldn't get it together after the session on Sunday.  Now, you're fine?"

"I feel better.  I just . . . don't want to talk about it right now, if that's okay."

"Yes, that's okay.  Of course.  So what's next for us, Mr. Manning?"

"That vow thing.  The fifth wedding.  Or is it the sixth?"

"Fifth.  Except, we're already married."

"Oh yeah, well, a minor detail."

"You're bonkers."

"You're why."

"Hey," she said, taking a pillow and socking him, "I'm not why.  I don't think."

"No, you're why I'm not in some padded cell somewhere."

"Don't.  Not today.  You seem so much better, lighter."

He was.  Something inside him knew he should tell her everything, but that it wouldn't even be everything, because he knew there was more.  At the same time, he was afraid to lose what he had worked so hard for, and was finally achieving.  After almost twenty years, he had his family, his wife, and everything was finally clear between them.  He said, "I am better, I think."

"Good.  Whatever Ray is doing works.  We have to admit that.  And by the way. . ."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing can change a thing.  Ever.  Nothing can.  I promise that and I'm not afraid to promise, because I know."  Blair said.

He nodded.  He said, "Want to go to bed?"

"Not without the bath," she said.  "First?"

"You know it," he said, standing and taking her hand.

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