Port Charles Chronicles: Chapter 13 (adult)

    Blair moved and sat down next to Todd.  His laughter was disturbing and she sensed he was close to the edge.  She had so many questions, but she didn’t want to push him.  “Care to share what’s so funny?  I could use a laugh.”  She leaned back against the couch resisting the urge to touch him.  She had already reached her limit of surprises for one day, if she touched him now, she’d never get any answers.

    At her words, Todd brought himself under control.   As his laughter died, he recalled how tenuous the situation was.  He hadn’t planned on dropping Irene on her, or his sudden decision to move, but now both of those cats were out of the bag.  “What now, Babe?”

    “I don’t know, maybe it’s time we just went back to the beginning.” She turned and looked
at him.  “It’s something I wish I had done when you first came back into town.  Todd, what do you remember of your captivity?”

     Todd was surprised.  He hadn’t expected that question. “What are you bringing that up for?” He didn’t want to think about those years.  He had skirted the issue when he had told Starr, but no one else seemed to care what he had been through, so he had pushed it aside.

     “Because it happened to you, I need to know.  Can you talk about it?  I’ll understand if it’s too painful.  But I wanted you to know I’m here, and I’ll listen now.”

      Todd gulped, “You know me, Blair, I keep that kind of pain locked away.  I told you they tortured me, and they drugged me.  If you’re wanting the details,  I’m not sure I can give them to you.  You have to understand.  When I couldn’t take anymore, I slipped away, and they would leave me alone.  Unfortunately, they kept finding ways to get through to me and everything would start over.  They would wake me up and seem all nice like I was in some hospital, but then they would start in with the questions.  If they didn’t like the answers, they would resort to filling me with drugs or worse yet....”  He stood up and moved because sitting there he suddenly flashed on the chair and the restraints.  No, they were more than restraints.   The damn chair had been wired.  He didn’t want to think of how often they had used that chair.  He had only his most recent memory of it and that was enough.  He shoved his hands in his pockets as they began to tremble.

     She watched him from the couch.  Whatever he had been about to say was bothering him and she didn’t push.  She was sorry for bringing it up now, but she had wanted to get a picture in her mind of what he went through all those years.  The more she heard the more she wanted to kick herself.  She had stood in that park and let Tomas weave a story about finding Todd in the tomb half-dead.  She must have been out of her mind to believe anything else the man said that day.  “I’m sorry.  It must have been hell for you.  You seemed so okay with it, that none of us saw what it had taken from you.  I know that’s no excuse for the way we all ignored it.  It’s no wonder you were so angry when all the sympathy turned towards Victor.”

      Todd turned to her and couldn’t help feeling a little anger rising in him. “I had a right to be angry.  Even you tossed the ‘he was brainwashed’ line in my face.  Brainwashed or not, he lived my life and I was trapped in that compound being fried whenever the mood  took my captors.” He saw the look on her face as she realized what he was telling her.  “Yes Blair, I was strapped in an electric chair and they would throw a switch.” He jerked back around, not wanting to see her shock.  At that moment, he would have given anything to shove his mother into that God damned chair.  He would have pushed the control and never stopped it.

      It wouldn’t have freed you of me.  I don’t know why you keep trying.  I told you.  I’ll always be with you.

      Todd stiffened and looked into the picture on the wall seeing Irene’s face reflected back at him.  He closed his eyes and began his mantra in his head maybe then she’d leave him be for a while.  I have a daughter her name is Starr,  Starr has a mother her name is....

      His mother shook her head and said sardonically and with a deep sigh.  You can be quite tiresome, but yes my granddaughter is lovely but foolish.  You think she could have chosen someone better than Cole Thornhart to have a child with.   Oh, what am I saying, the child and father are now dead?  So much the better, now you can get her into a  proper relationship, one befitting Victor Lord’s granddaughter. 

     “Shut up! Shut up do you hear me?  You leave me and my daughter alone!” He turned around in a rage.  All he wanted to do was throttle his mother, and instead, he found himself facing Blair.

       She was stunned.  She had been trying to absorb what Todd said about being given electroshock when he rounded on her in anger.  “Todd, I... What did I do?”

      Todd froze. “I...”  He didn’t know what to do.  “Nothing.  You did nothing.  Oh God, that wasn’t meant for you.”  Leaving her sitting there, he disappeared into the bathroom.  He leaned over the sink with the water running, his hands shaking as he splashed the water on his face.  He looked up at his fractured image.  Look at you. The one who felt you could take anything anyone dished out.  You were a fool.  She did something to you in that hellhole and now you can’t escape her.  Instead, you take it out on Blair.  “Way to go, Manning.”

      Blair stood in the doorway, it had only taken a minute to realize who Todd meant when he said the words hadn’t been directed at her.  “Todd, don’t beat yourself up.  Irene was here again, wasn’t she?”

     Todd’s eyes met Blair's in the mirror.  He reached up and smoothed his hair back off his forehead.  “You should go home.  You didn’t come here to take care of a nut case.  I think we can both say I’m walking around with a screw loose or something, now.  I mean, my God, my dead mother is haunting me, and it’s getting worse.”

     “No, I told you I was here for you and I’m not going, but we need to get you some help.  It’s obvious you can’t fight this by yourself.   I think more is going on here, but I’m not a professional.”  She moved to stand next to him.

      He closed his eyes and braced himself.  If she offered him sympathy right then, he feared he would lose his resolve to let her go.  When no touch came he reopened his eyes and found her just waiting.

      She smiled back at him from the mirror.  “One thing I’ve learned over the years is how stubborn you can be.  You feel you need to push me away for my own protection.  I’m just supposed to forget that you love me and that just a short while ago asked me to move here.  I don’t think you really want that.  This thing with Irene has got you spooked,” she laughed, “I’m sorry that came out wrong.  What I mean is, I realize she’s something you have no control over and you hate not being in control.  I understand that.  I know what it’s like to lose control.  I also know how it felt when you helped me that night.  You were there for me even when I wasn’t making sense.  Do you remember?”

     Todd nodded.  He also remembered how he then betrayed her by keeping the clothes and turning her into Bo for shooting Max.  His jealousy had eaten him alive when he thought she had slept with Max the night before their third wedding.   He had ruined everything because he couldn’t trust her.  He hated that flaw in him, that need to strike before he got hurt even more.   This last year he had really wanted to prove he had changed, but it seemed that was impossible.  When he realized he had killed his brother, he had once again begun lying.   “Blair, I’m not going to change.  I’ll always manage to hurt you.”

     “How, Todd?  Do you have more secrets I don’t know about, more dead bodies somewhere?” She turned and faced him.

     “Hell no!  I just got out of trouble with the law.  Why would you ask that?”   He turned toward her, outraged she would even think such a thing.

     “Well, you’re standing here telling me you’re just going to hurt me again.  It’s the secrets and lies that have torn us apart all these years.  I thought all of them were now out in the open. You’ve been hiding Irene, the same way you hid the fact that you remembered killing Victor.  Let’s clear the air.  You say there are no bodies hidden anywhere.  No more secrets.  If that’s so, then we don’t have a problem.  We’re going to work at being together for a change. There’s only one rule.  From here on out, between you and me, there will be no lies.  No matter how painful it gets, we tell each other the truth. Agreed?”  She could tell by the look on his face, he didn’t think he could agree.  “One other thing.  I’m not going, even if you can’t agree.”

     Todd stared at her.  He knew he had lost the battle but he hadn’t really put up too much of a fight.  He was afraid of what he might do to her, but in his heart, he knew he didn’t want her going anyplace.  He gave in to the inevitable and took her face in his hands and met her lush lips with his. He was so tired of talking and thinking.  “Help me, Blair!  Make me feel.”

      Blair wrapped her arms around his neck. “Always.”  She returned his kiss and then began getting him out of his shirt.  Minutes later, she crawled backward on the bed studying him as he came forward and joined her.  She marveled at how fit and stunning his body was.  From the sculpted chest to the trim waist, could there be a more beautiful man?  Her fingers moved across his chest, stopping to explore and caress the scars left by the ravages of his life, smiling as his muscles quivered under her touch.  Her lips soon joined her fingers in her exploration and his sudden intake of breath told her the effect she was having on him.

     Todd gasped as Blair took him into her mouth and lovingly caressed him with her tongue.  Sensations swept through his body as she worked her magic.  Her little moans of pleasure as she worked only excited him more.  “God, Babe!”  She climbed on top of him and began her ride and they moved together.  He steadied her, his hands on her hips, and watched her as she became more and more excited.  She was beautiful and wild and most of all, his.  Closing his eyes, he let his feelings take over and joined her.  It was a precious moment when time stood still, and all that mattered was their love for each other and the bond they were sharing.

      Blair collapsed into his arms satiated and very happy. She looked up at his face and saw his love looking back at her. “How are you doing?” Her hand tenderly touched his face.

     “Better, thank you.  I found myself in you years ago, and then I wasted so much time listening to my fears, instead of my heart.  You are the only one for me, Blair.  I really can’t explain it.  I just know that when I had nothing else but that damn chair to look forward to each and every day, it was my love for you that helped me survive.   I’m going to count on that love this time and try not to ruin it.  I won’t try and send you away anymore, I promise.” He still had his fears but he pushed them away.  He pulled her up so that their lips were just inches away and tasted them again.  Soft, sweet, and eager for his touch, they melted under his caress.

     Sometime later Todd lay awake holding Blair.  He didn’t want to give in to sleep because he was afraid everything would turn out to be just a dream.  The last couple of days seemed so surreal.  A few nights before, he had walked into The Floating Rib and began reminiscing about Rodi’s and suddenly Blair appeared.  He couldn’t stop himself, he hugged her making sure she was real.

     Blair stirred at his hug and sensed that he was struggling with something. “It’s okay Todd. I’m here.  Try and get some sleep.  I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”  She lay there half awake listening to his heartbeat and finally felt his hands relax, indicating that he had fallen asleep. She smiled and slowly drifted off.
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