The Fourth Life: Chapter 41

Timothy came to the penthouse, and his sister answered the door, asking him in.  "What is it, Timothy, that brought you all of the way down the street?"


"I wanted to check on you and the children.  Any word from Todd?"


"Yes, he just called me.  I must go and help him.  Are you able to stay with the kids for a while?  It might do them good to have someone different with them."


"Of course.  What is happening?"


"Blair is shattered, Timothy.  Her baby girl is dead, and she cannot face it.  She's blaming Todd and saying strange things.  According to him, she is imagining or believes that Michael Leona and Carlo Hesser took her baby, in a violent manner."


"This is so sad, Creena.  They need each other, and can't have that."


"That is why he called me.  He knows I was with her in the ambulance and heard her saying her baby was dying.  He must think I can jog her memory.  She's confused and hurt.  And he's so alone.  I could hear  it in his voice, except..."


"What is it?"


"Patrick Thornhart has seemed to take up with Todd quite a bit.  Strange companions, eh?"


"I've read about their history, and yes, it's very strange."


"I have to go, Brother."


"I realize that.  I hope you work the miracle of the year and bring these two some peace.  They do need each other."


She left, and he lingered by the door.  He said, "See if your God can bring you the strength to get this one done."


***


"She's on her way," Todd said to Patrick.  "If anyone can help Blair, she will."


"She was there, with her, when the baby passed from this world."  Patrick agreed.


"That's what I am counting on.  I want her to see, and for it to be soon.  The longer she believes this, the further into insanity she'll go.  I want her to face it, and be all right."


"And, you miss her."


"Very much."


"This nun seems quite equipped to deal with people.  You have faith in her?"


"Yes, the utmost faith.  For some reason."


"Then this is what counts.  Blair will see how wrong she is."


"Is she?"


"What do you mean?  I'm not following you, Manning."


"She's not wrong.  Even though I didn't let Carlo and Leona cut the baby out of her, it is my fault that she lost her."


"I don't see your logic.  To me, it's not possibly your fault.  The man who shot her is to blame, or the man who put him up to the task."


"If I stuck to my guns and never let her near that courtroom, she wouldn't be here today.  I wanted us to forget it and she told me we would never be free.  If I didn't have this vendetta, she would be safe and Sommer would be alive and growing inside her."


"That's a warped sense of reality, Manning, and you really must harness this self-hate, and soon."


"It's my fault for being involved.  If you really want to go back far enough, the whole thing is my fault for enlisting the help of Zeus when I first got back from Ireland, to kidnap Starr."


"Yes, you're right, you never should have done that.  But making that the reason that Blair has lost your child, that doesn't seem to balance out.  Other forces were at hand."


"Maybe deep down, she does blame me.  For me, everything I do and have to face comes from that one incident, almost twenty years ago.  When I raped Marty at that frat house."


Patrick could not speak at first.  Then he said, "As you said, you were a different man then.  Times and people change."


"What if Blair doesn't forgive me?  What if she holds on to this and leaves me?  It's what I deserve."


"Maybe.  But the chances are slim, from what I know of Blair and her love for ya.  She was devastated when I found you and you almost died, do ya remember?"


"Yeah, I remember.  I just want her to be all right, so we can go back to being us."


"That will come.  But I warn ya, there is a lot to happen before that."


***


Sister Rebecca Katherine moved the curtain back and stepped closer to Blair's bed.  The room was private, and very clean, with a large window cascading light onto the floor.  She touched her hand, and Blair opened her eyes.  "Sister."


"Yes, dearest.  I came to see you, and tell you how sorry I am."


She ignored the nun's greeting.  "Sister, Todd did a terrible thing to me," she began to cry.  "He let them take Sommer away."  Her pain was so palpable, the nun took a deep breath, gearing up for the time ahead.  She continued, "He let Carlo and Leona cut my baby out of me, and take it away.  How could he do that to me?"  She wept quietly.


"Dear, your baby is gone, indeed.  But Todd did not take her away."


"Oh, but he did.  I asked him to stop them.  And he didn't.  He let them get her.  Do you think she could still be alive somewhere?  Maybe she's hungry, or crying?"


The nun sat on the chair next to the bed and sighed.  "Dearest Bridgette, you must listen to me now.  You are confused, dear.  That is not what happened to you."


"It is!  I remember!  They had Todd in a room, and I was forced in, and they cut me open.  Then I woke up here, and asked Todd to help me, and he didn't.  She's gone.  Look!"  She pointed to her stomach, which was even more flat than the day before.


"You're remembering wrong, dear.  Don't you remember?  Michael Leona is dead.  He died in Ireland, we were there together.  Todd killed him."


She looked puzzled.  "No, I saw him."


"No, you didn't, dear.  You were dreaming. Todd loves you, how can you believe he would help them get your child?"


She didn't answer.  Instead, she put her hand to her temple.  "He did this terrible thing to me..." she trailed off.


"Dear heart, you know he loves you, so much.  You both fought to get back to each other.  Blair, do you remember we were in the courtroom?  It was a sunny day, and you got shot..."


"No, I didn't!  No!"


"And you got shot in the side of your stomach where the baby was.  And Todd ran to you, and he tried to help you."


"No, he let them take her!  The baby's gone and someone has her!"


The nun continued, "And he called to you, and you looked up to the stained glass ceiling, and you said, 'There's God coming down' and he cried, and he told you God was not coming down and for you to look at him."


She froze, and then started sobbing, "No, no, that's not true  No."


She grabbed Blair's hand, and held it to her heart, "And next, you had to go to the hospital, and I went with you in the back of the ambulance.  Do you remember, Blair?  Oh dear, heart, I'm sorry, but you said to me..."


Blair screamed and interrupted her.  "No!  I won't listen!  No!  She's alive!  She's somewhere out there, Todd knows where she is!"  she desperately covered her ears.


Sister Rebecca Katherine took Blair's hands off her ears.  "You said to me, 'Sister, please pray.'"


Throughout the sister's relating of the story, Blair was frantically both crying and talking over her, attempting to drown out her words.  But the Irish woman kept talking, and became louder and stronger, "And you asked me to pray because...you tell me why, Bridgette.  You tell me why."


"I can't!  Nooooooooooo!"  she cried, and the nun, held her to her chest and smoothed her hair.  


She released her, and said, "Bridgette, look at me.  Darling, what did you ask me to pray for, and why?  You can remember.  You know."


"No, I can't.  I want my baby!  Please, help me find my baby!"


"Blair, your baby is gone.  But it wasn't Todd, or Carlo or Leona.  You asked me to pray for you because of something."  Blair sat quiet, suddenly not sobbing or frantic.  


She was holding back tears, and said, "because, I..."


"Yes dear, what was it?"



"I asked...for your prayers because...I felt Sommer dying inside me," she whispered, and then began to sob hysterically.  


The nun once again pulled her close and hugged her, rocking her as she wailed.  "She died," Blair said at last.  "She died inside me, in the ambulance.  You tried to hug me, to make me feel better, and I touched your face."


"You left a smudge of blood on my cheek."


"Oh no, noooo," she cried so bitterly that Sister Rebecca Katherine was in shambles as well.  The woman of God pulled herself together, and said, through tears, "Now it's all right, you were just confused.  You didn't remember, clearly, and you had some dreams.  All of it got crossed in here," she pointed to her head, "to protect here," she pointed to her heart.


At that point, Blair let out the most pitiful whimper, and then fell into a mournful howl, and shook, her hands pulling at her own hair.  "Not Sommer, no God," she cried, so wounded that Sister Rebecca Katherine could not keep from audibly sobbing herself.  She rocked Blair in her arms for several minutes.


After a while passed, Blair began to quiet.  "She's dead, isn't she?"


"She is dead, my dearest heart."


"Oh my God, she's gone."

"She is, yes, that she is."


She became puzzled, "Did I miscarry her?"


"No dear, she passed away while she was still inside you, and the doctors decided to take her."


She covered her mouth with her hand.  "That is why I thought that....Oh my God!"  She cried, "Todd!"



She began to sob wildly again, and did so to the point of leaning over and heaving aside the bed.  The nun put a cold towel on her forehead and soothed her the best she could.  "It's all right, dear.  He called me to come and help you.  He knew you couldn't face it.  He thought that maybe because I was there..."


"No, Sister, you don't understand."  her voice caught and she could barely get her words out.  "I tormented him.  I told him I hated him," she broke down again, and barely able to breathe as she tried to explain.  "I accused him of taking her away.  I called him a freak."


The nun was startled a bit by her words, but she said, "He understands, dear heart.  He understands."  She continued to rock her.


"Please, Sister, bring him to me, please?"


"That is music to my ears, love.  I will get him.  I know he wants to see you, so much."  She leaned over and hugged her, "I am so sorry about your child, my dear."


Blair shared the embrace and said, "Thank you, Sister, oh, thank you," and continued to cry.


***


Patrick said, "Things will work themselves out, Todd.  I've seen worse situations before, and so have you."


"Maybe.  That's what I keep hoping for.  It took us so long to find each other again...."


They were interrupted by the nun appearing at the door of the family area.  She said, softly, "She's asking for ya.  She knows.  She's accepted."


"Is she all right?" he asked, standing.


"She's not, but she's better than she was.  It was difficult, but she remembered."  He breathed a sigh of relief, as she said, "You must go to her, she needs you, terribly."


It seemed no longer than three steps before he reached the door to her room.  He could see her, face away from the door, her hands resting over her belly, where Sommer once was.  Her breathing caught in little skips.  He knocked, and she turned her head.  Her face seemed to melt into sadness, and she said, "Todd."


He said, "Hi, Blair."


She slowly lifted and held out her arms to him.  "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry," she broke down again.  He raced to her open arms and held her, and she cried in such a desolate, tortured tone, that he could do nothing but hold the back of her head and rock her against him.  "I thought it was real.  I'm so sorry, Todd.  I thought it was real.  I wanted it to be real."


"Shhhh, that's okay now.  Nothing to be sorry for,"  he rocked her, and then said, "I'm so sorry, about the baby, Blair," and she heard his tears through his words.  "Our baby girl, is gone."


She joined him, crying, "Yes, she's dead, Todd.  She's dead, I know.  I'm sorry I called you a freak.  That was so cruel," she sobbed in his arms.


"You were in pain.  You were confused.  It's over now."


She pulled away, "Can you ever forgive me?"


"I never needed to, I forgave you before you even said it.  You were so hurt, I just wanted...your pain to go away."


She sniffed, touching his cheek, "You stayed.  You didn't run away.  You didn't leave me."

"No, I can't.  I love you too much.  Besides, the 'no leaving promise' is hanging over me, not to mention that I can't live without you."


They fell into a brief kiss, which was interrupted by her crying, which in turn sent him into another wave of grief.  She cried as he rocked her, while she said, "Our baby is gone," over and over, mingled with her sobs.


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