Two weeks had passed, and April was breathing life and greenery into Llanview. "The new Mayor is on my ass," John said to Natalie, who was rubbing his shoulders, again, and trying to be the good ear he needed.
"I can imagine. First the shooting, now this."
"He wants an arrest in both cases," John said, "And what if the first is the victim in the second?"
"I don't know. Have you got any leads on the shooter? Whoever did that took Blair's little baby's life."
He frowned, "I know. It's just not something Blair needed. She's been through enough."
"And my uncle, he has, too."
"That goes without saying," he added, tilting his head to the side to direct her. "Yeah, that's it, right there."
"Oh, there's a big knot on this side. Right here," she said, squeezing along his shoulder.
"It's been a tough week."
"Is Blair okay?" Natalie asked.
"I don't know. Physically, she's probably fine."
"It must be so hard to lose a child," Natalie said. "She's done this four times now, and three with Uncle Todd. It must be...heartbreaking. I don't know how she can do it."
"It's hard to imagine."
"Any leads on the Hesser murder?"
John remained quiet a moment, "Only the suspects I've conjured in my head."
"And?"
"Let's face it, just about anyone involved. Manning, though he was with us, in court at the time, he could have hired someone. Zeus, Tea, the list is too long. Even I'd be a suspect if I didn't know I was innocent."
"Keep going, who else?"
"Marty. Patrick. He disappeared on us, right before it happened, now that I think about it." he paused, "Blair."
"You can't be serious? She just had was shot, lost a child, had surgery?."
"I guess you're right," he went on, "everyone hated Hesser. There have to be people we haven't thought of."
"What about that woman, the ex-Mayor? Didn't my uncle say something about her and Hesser?"
John thought about it. "He did. That's another possibility."
"So many people owe Hesser a vote of hatred, it's hard to choose. What about that Irish guy?"
"That's my problem, you shouldn't worry about it. I don't know much about Timothy Broderick. Might be worth delving into. The report on Hesser's death. Anything?"
"He was asphyxiated, the autopsy proved that. The injuries from Uncle Todd didn't kill him. Someone smothered him, probably with a pillow, just as we thought."
"That's it?"
"That's it. Nothing else. At least, not yet. I'll let you know if we come up with something, of course."
"Kiss me," he said, turning his face. She did. Soon, his hands were in her long, red lustrous hair, and he pulled her on top of him on the couch.
***
Blair carefully got out of the helicopter with Todd's help. They were home. She stood on the roof, looking toward their bedroom, then turned back to him, with an expression that said, "help me."
"It's okay. We're home, Babe. It's going to be all right. Everything." She hugged herself with her hands, and stood, unmoving. He said, "You okay?"
"I don't know."
He took her hand. He said, "Trust me," looking into her eyes. "I won't let you down, Blair."
She smiled sadly, and followed his lead. They went in through the glass pane door, and the bedroom was filled with sun, scented candles and music. She said, "This is beautiful, Todd. You always...make me feel special."
"You are," he said kissing her hand, and looking into her eyes. "You're everything."
She looked away. "It smells so nice in here. There's a beautiful breeze, and you're here," she kissed his lips, and he held her.
They were interrupted by the race of feet up the stairs. "Mom's here! Mom's here!" It was Sam, with Jack in tow.
"I tried to tell him not to interrupt you yet," Jack said, and Blair marveled at how he stood, so tall all of the sudden, and was maturing so much.
"Mom!" Sam ran to her and put out his arms. She carefully crouched down, and hugged him tight.
"Oh, Sam, Mommy missed you so much!"
"Me, too. I got new toys, Mom. Dad got me the new Spiderman XBox game!"
"That's great, Sam."
"Yeah, it's fun. I beat Jack twice already. And I got an A in spelling."
"Well, you're just a smarty pants, aren't you?" She stood back up, looking at her younger son, and holding both his hands.
"Mom, where's the baby? Your tummy is flat!"
Todd felt sick. He'd forgotten to tell Sam how to handle Blair, and Jack scooped Sam up. "Time to go and beat me again, buddy! Let's go," he carted the little guy out of the room on his shoulder, and Blair fell apart, falling onto Todd.
"I can't do this," she cried, over and over, and he held, her, walking her to the bed and sitting her down. She clung to him with all the strength she had.
He said, "Sam didn't know, and that's all my fault. I should have..."
"Do you think if Sam didn't say that, I wouldn't remember?" she put her face in her hands.
He embraced her around the shoulders as she cried into her palms. "No, I didn't mean that, I just meant...I should have done better with that." She cried so hard and so mercilessly, he began to worry. "Blair, come on, it's going to be all right."
"No, no it's not! It's not, Todd, it's not!" He was losing words, and not knowing what to do or say to help her, he just remained steadfast, with her in his arms.
Blair had gotten to the point that she was wailing, like a child, and short of breath. He wanted the sobs to stop, and for her to pull herself together, but that didn't seem to be coming. The sun began to fade a bit, moving to the point in the sky that made the room lighting change. She was still crying, and her cries were more like moans, as if she were in physical pain. He turned her face to him, and brushed her hair back, then moved her tears away with his thumbs. "Shhh, now. I'm so sorry, Blair. I know it hurts." The sound of her cries ceased for a moment, and she focused her eyes on him, and the greenness of them was more striking than he remembered. He said again, "Shhhh, no Babe, this is not going to help."
Without warning, she pushed herself toward him and kissed him, her tongue pushing into his mouth, and he, taken aback by her, could only reciprocate, wanting her so much, despite everything they were both feeling. Realizing she might not be ready for anything more, he held back, and let her take control, as her kisses become deeper, and her hands move over his body, deftly. She pulled back, and said, "I need something, Todd. Please, I need you," and she went back toward him.
For a moment, he was unable to separate sense from senses, and kissed her back, putting his whole body into each one, as he always did when it came to her. She moved his hands to her top, and he took it as a signal to undress her. He pulled her blouse free, and she tore at his shirt, opening it and running her hands over his exquisite form, he heard a button or two hit the floor and roll. Overtaken by his want for her, he struggled to slow the pace, afraid that she might not be stable enough emotionally to cope with any more feeling.
She was on a different plane. Tearing his a-shirt off him so that it ripped one of the tank straps, she said into his mouth, "Love me, please. Make me forget, Todd."
Knowing it was the only thing he was humanly capable of doing, even if it assuaged her pain for a short time, he gently pushed her back on the bed, and undressed her the rest of the way. It was not difficult to please her; he always knew how. In his own grief, and the meeting of his with hers, tears slipped from the sides of his eyes as he did everything he knew had given her pleasure in the years they had been together. She pulled his back and bottom closer to her, frenetic in her grasping. He smoothed her hair, kissed her neck, breasts and torso, stopping at her wounds. He then realized that her body might not be well enough for the path they were taking. He said, "Blair, you're not well enough..."
"I don't care, Todd. Do it, just do it," she was desperate in her words and her face was longing, so much it hurt him to look at her.
He climbed down instead of up, still apprehensive, and worked her beautiful body with his mouth, lips and tongue. She rubbed the back of his head, and moaned. She turned his face up from her lower half with her hands, "No, Todd, make love to me."
Hesitant, he knelt between her thighs, which were glistening with moisture. She could read him, knowing his fear for her and said, "I'm fine." Then, "Please," and she opened her legs more, to accept him in.
She needed him, and she was his wife. And he wanted her, so much. It had been so long without her. He perched over her, his arm supporting his weight, and his other hand guiding himself into her. Slowly, and with the least pressure he could, he moved until he was fully engulfed by her, and then, watching her face, saw her break down. Unsure of what she wanted, he waited, pulling out and holding back again. She simply nodded and pulled him closer.
Holding himself up over her with both arms, he moved in and out of her tentatively, and the feeling of her around him almost overtook him. He would stop, wait, then continue, assuring he'd not come inside her before she did. She cried, audibly, as he loved her, and between sobs, she declared her love for him, calling his name, telling him what he meant to her, moving him more to give her everything he could. Through her tears, she began to utter sounds that told him she was reaching her end, and he shifted back to one arm, using his thumb to massage her into climax. She cried out, moaning in pleasure, and try as he may to keep it going longer, he couldn't help but join her. He let himself down aside her and turned onto his side, facing her.
After a few minutes, she rolled onto her side, facing him, and looked at him, tears still streaming. "It didn't work," she said softly, "the pain's still there, Todd." Her voice was aching, airy.
He said, "Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"It will go away, Blair. It will fade. You have to trust me that it will. You've been through this before. Our first child, then Brendan. You know it will get better."
"No, Todd. It's different. I never thought I'd never be able to have another baby when I lost them." Her eyes teared up, and he ran his hand along her cheek.
"Shhh. I know. I'm sorry. Maybe that will change, maybe they're wrong?"
She closed her eyes, shook her head 'no,' and moved closer to him. He let her snuggle into him, curled up like a child, and closed his arms around her. He traced small circles on her naked back with his fingers. She slept.
***
Natalie and John were in bed, and she said, "You're far away. What's the matter?"
"The Hesser thing."
"So great to know where your head is during lovemaking."
"Come on, it's not that. This is a big case, that has to be solved. Maybe then, everyone can put it to rest and get on with living."
"All right. Then let me help."
"How, exactly?"
"Well, first off, I can help you talk all this through. Play detective."
"I am a detective."
"I mean, we can put all the clues together and come up with a theory. Right?"
"We've done that before. Sure."
"Okay," she hopped up, nude, and grabbed his shirt and put it on. She grabbed a pad and pen from the desk and brought it back to the bed. Climbing in, she said, "Okay, start at the beginning."
"What's my starting point?"
"Like, the person you really feel deep down might be responsible for Hesser's demise."
"Nat, you're not going to understand this, but I want to start with Patrick Thornhart."
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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interesting chapter
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