The Way Back: Chapter 11

Blair sat in a section of the room where the light from the sun could enter and cover her. The golden rays and additional warmth was comforting. It was so silent in the cabin and the emptiness and silence made her uneasy. She decided to go upstairs and check on Todd. She walked up the stairs quietly and approached the bed. He was still sleeping, serene and beautiful, just out of reach of the sunlight from the window across from the bed. She sat beside him. It was already 2:00 p.m.

She gently reached over and touched his forehead. Cool and dry. He was all right. She lifted her hand and began to get up when he took it. "Blair, don't go."

"Hey. You're up, sleepy head?"

"I am. Just sit here for a minute with me, will you?"

"Sure. Of course."

"I wanted to...I wanted to talk to you Blair. About the kids. About me."

"All right. Whatever you want."

"I'd like it better if you came and put your head right here." He pointed to his chest. She obliged, climbing over him and lying down, arm tucked across him, her head on his breastbone. Her hand began to trace patterns on his skin. He continued, "I'm not sure I can look at you the whole time."

She knew just what he meant. It was so hard looking directly at his pain, and most likely, he was finding it hard to look at hers. "Okay. This is nice. It's comfy." She snuggled closer.

"It is. Just how it should be. This is the stuff I dreamed of, every day. Every day I was away from you."

She decided to become and stay very quiet and let him say what he had to say.

He continued. "Every day I thought of you. I would take one day and just follow every moment of that day from start to end. What you wore, what you said to me, what the kids did, what Starr said," he choked up a moment, then got back his strength. "I have every outfit you ever wore right here in my mind. I've got every note of every song I've ever heard you sing memorized. These were my lifelines for eight years."

She realized a tear had rolled onto his chest. He must have known because he reached down and brushed it from her face. She looked up at him then and smiled. "I'm glad you're here," she said.

"I'm glad too, and I will be all right, Blair. I don't want you to worry. There are just some things that I have not been able to get past yet. I mean, I've only been out of there about two months. And most of the time, I was trying to get my memory back, which came in small pieces. I do have dreams, I do have nightmares, and I've only had one or two of those attacks I had last night. I'm going to be all right, but I wondered what you would think about me seeing someone."

"That someone better be me." She smiled, kissing his collarbone.

"I mean, seeing a therapist. I want to see if I can find and contact Ray Martino. I think he can really help me get through it, so I can gear up to get my life back."

She was pleased that he was thinking this way, but she also was surprised. Had he changed this much? She knew this time he was going to be all about being there for his family. This would be what he knew she had hoped for. "I think it's a great idea. I'll help, if you want."

"There's a lot there. Most of it, I still can't talk about. But I know you know it was horrible, and it was. I just want you to know I am going to be okay. Nothing can go wrong if the right people are on my side."

"And I am on yours."

He suddenly jumped up. "I am really hungry! Do we have breakfast?"

She laughed, leaning up on an elbow. "We can! Just give me a few minutes." She hopped out of bed and playfully ran to him, kissing his nose. "Catch me."

He ran after her down the stairs and they both landed in a laughing heap on the couch. "I always catch you. That's my job." He said, looking into her face. He brushed her hair back and kissed her with everything he had. "I want eggs. Bacon. And toast."

"All right! Go get it!" She said, joyously tickling him. Then she said, "No, just kidding, I'll get it for you," and ran into the kitchen. She took out all of the needed materials to create the breakfast he asked for while he sat and talked about plans for the kids, where they might live, what he wanted to do, and see with them. He included little Sam in his plans, and she took note of it. From the kitchen, "So, you like Sam, eh?"

"Actually, yeah, he was one of the first people here I saw and talked with. Cute kid. We've had some good times. The kid loves me."

"I know." She said, avoiding discussion about him taking Sam from her and scaring her. She would save that for another time.

"It's important to me that he does. He's your little boy, and that means, he will be mine, too."

Blair was afraid to talk about Sam, because in reality, regardless of what happened with her and Todd, Sam was the child of The Impostor and Margaret. He was not her biological child. The Impostor could take him away from her...

Todd must have seen the pained expression on her face. "And before you go getting all upset and worried about losing him, you won't. We'll fight for him. Don't worry, I won't let you lose any of your children ever again...." and then he added, "especially to or because of me."

"Well, Todd, Sam is not your son." Regretfully, "You always had difficulty with that."

"No, Blair, not anymore. Too much time wasted. I just want to be with you and be with our family. That's all I've wanted for a long time now."

"All right." She reminded herself she would not let any of it get ugly. There was time to rehash those things. Besides, she loved what she was hearing and for some reason, she believed him, more than she ever had.

"Now, what to do about the kids."

"Just tell them the truth, it's what works best with them. Just tell them you love them, and that you're here for them. The rest will fall into place."

"Then let's get them here. I need them, Blair. I have to see my daughter. I want to know my sons."

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