The Way Back: Chapter 24

In this dream, he had his long hair back, and his goatee, but was in the white clothes they provided for him in captivity.  He was strapped to the chair, as he expected each day.  His hair was in his face on one side, the other was tucked behind his ear.  He was struggling to free himself because across from him in another chair was Blair.  She had her long hair, too, and was strapped in, just as he was.  

Footsteps echoed in the hallway, and he struggled more and more to get himself free, so that he could save her from what he knew they would do.  "No, they can't hurt her, not like this.  I can't let it happen."  He pulled and yanked, and bit with his teeth, as he used to at the beginning, when the whole idea was new and he had actually been under the impression he could do something to get free.  He struggled, he pulled, he yanked enough to tip the chair, and could not get loose.  As the footsteps got closer, he realized why she was quiet.  She was catatonic, like he sometimes would be.  He was looking at her, calling her name, and she was sitting motionless, staring ahead.

The door opened.  It wasn't Burly.  It was who he called 'The Thin Man.'  "No.  Not you, no please, not you, no!  Don't touch her.  Don't you EVER touch her!"  The Thin Man stood between them, with the electromagnetic remote, pointing it to him, then her, and back and forth, as if choosing which one to zap.  He didn't want it again, he didn't want it, no not that, please, but he couldn't let her have it, so he begged The Thin Man to do him, not her.  "Just come on, you love it, Thin Man, point to me, point to me, and after you're done, do extra just to have some more fun, use your cigarette on my back, just don't.  Don't hurt her, don't." 

The Thin Man turned to her, smiling over his shoulder like a cadaver at Todd.  "Noooooo!  No!  Over here!  Over here, you f#cking sadist!  You want me!  Me!  Noooooooooo! No, don't!  Blair!  Blair!"  

He sat straight up in bed, screaming and gasping for air.  Blair jumped up, stunned by his pained shrieks.  Remembering Clint's words, she was careful not to touch him at first.  When she realized he was awake, she threw her arms around his shoulders, and at first, he jumped at her touch.  After realizing who she was, he fell onto her, squeezing her so tightly, she could barely breathe.  She heard herself repeating, "It's ok.  It's all right.  You're safe."

Catching his breath, he clung to her in the dark.  "Blair, I can't do this anymore."

"It's all right.  It will pass.  Ray will help you."

"I can't Blair, it's too hard.  I can't.  I should have let go and let them take my life.  Why did I fight to get away so hard if they were going to come with me?"

She didn't know what to answer.  She just petted his hair and held him.  Be strong.  Don't let him THINK you'd even consider that he can't overcome this.

"I don't know what to do.  It's around me all the time.  I either see something that sparks a waking nightmare, or have my sleep interrupted by sleeping ones.  I'm tired, Blair.  I'm so tired."  He fell back onto the bed.  "I'm cold, I'm so cold, Blair."  She climbed onto him, covering him with her whole body, hiking the covers over them, and holding him tight, whispering things to calm him.  She knew that in order to bring him down fully, she would have to open up and sing.  This was the pattern they had been in since he was back.  She chose "Simply Love," and in the middle of the second verse, he quieted and his breathing regulated. 

She, however, could not sleep.  She worried about him all night, jumped at the slightest movement he made, and could only listen to his heart beating in his chest, living, breathing, alive.  She would call Ray in the morning.  She had to help him move past this before it claimed his sanity.

The sun woke her in what felt like twenty minutes from her song.  She realized she was still lying on him, her leg wedged between his, and his arms wrapped around her waist.  She looked up at him, from his chest, and his face looked utterly creaseless and serene.  She smiled, in spite of what they had been through during the night, to see him resting.  She tried to move off him quietly to make coffee, but he felt her and woke, saying,  "Hi."

"Hi."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay.  Don't be sorry.  You have nothing to be sorry for," she said.

"Call Ray for me, Blair.  Please."

"I will.  I will for sure, right now."

It would have to wait because her phone rang as she was retrieving it from the charger.  "Good morning, Blair.  This is John."

"Oh, hi, John.  Did you get the DNA test results?  Is that why you're calling?"

"Yeah Blair, that's why I'm calling."

"All right, when do we pick them up?  We need to bring them to the lawyer.  We had a rough night, John."

"I'm sorry to hear that.  Just remember that PTSD takes a while to get over, but it can be treated."

"I know, thank you.  So, when can we come get the results, John?"

"Blair, I need to tell you something.  The man you're calling Todd Manning right now does not have DNA that matches the rape kit from 1993.  According to the results of this test, he's not Todd."

The phone almost fell from her hand.  "What?"

"The results are negative.  Now I'll venture to say that he's with you, and you don't want to let on what I am saying."

"Yep."

"Meet me at my office later so that I can talk to you about this.  How about 3:00 p.m.?"

"Perfect.  I'll be there."  She closed the flip.

"The results are in?"

"Yep.  I go get them at 3:00 today."

"All right.  Can you call Ray for me?"

"Yes.  I'll do that now.  I'll make an appointment and we'll go out there this morning, okay?"

"Sure.  Thanks, Blair.  I don't know what I would do if you weren't....if you weren't beside me in this."  He got up, kissed her, and went to the bathroom to shower.  She made the call to Ray, and then sat, puzzled, in the bed.  It was the bed they had been sleeping in together for a few nights now, that she had worked hard to choose so it would be exactly as he liked it, that she had dreamed of sharing with him since the moment she purchased it:  a carved, ebony headboard and sturdy wooden legs, off the ground enough but not too much, and a mattress with a pillow top for comfort.  He is Todd.  He feels like him, smells like him, he even sounds like him making love.  He kisses the same, he touches the same, he knows me, he knows my body.  He has all of our memories to the letter, loves our kids.  No, there's no doubt he is Todd.  But, then why is the test saying otherwise?

***

He, Tea and Dani walked along the beach that morning, and Dani would stop and get shells to put into her shell collection.  He held Tea's hand and their arms swung back and forth like teen lovers at the fair.  Her hair blew in the breeze, and on one side, he had put a large hibiscus behind her ear.  "This is peaceful," she said.

"It's beautiful, I agree.  So what do you think, Mrs. Manning?  Want to move on, or stay here?"

She smiled, kissing him.  "Where ever you want, Mr. Manning.  Where ever you go, I go.  Or should I say, 'we?'"

He looked to his daughter.  How he had grown to love her, the way she called him Dad, and the way she put her head on his shoulder when he read to her at night.  No, he was not going to give them up, ever.  No matter what.  He'd find a way to keep them.  He'd go to his father if he had to.  But they were not going to leave him.  Ever.

"Let's stay a while longer.  It's so perfect here.  It's a place I have always wanted to be."  He picked up a handful of white sand and let it fall through his fingers.

"All right.  It's fine with me, I'm happy here, because there's you."

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Tea.  I don't know what came over me.  I guess I am just feeling strange about things lately.  You believe I'm me, don't you."

She looked into his eyes.  "I believe you're you, yes.  And I love you, you."

"Mommy!  Mommy, look!  Isn't that Uncle Tomas?"

Walking toward them on the beach was Tomas DelGado.  He looked out of place wearing long pants and a dark colored shirt.  Tea smiled and waved, but the look on her husband's face was not one of pleasantry.

"Hey Dani!"  he scooped her up and hugged her.

"Uncle Tomas!  Yay!"

Tea also ran to his side and hugged him.  "Tomas!  Como estas?  What are you doing here?"

As the three of them walked back to where he was standing, he locked eyes with Delgado.  "Brother-in-law?"

"Interesting place you chose for a vacation, isn't it, Bali?"

"Not any more interesting than anywhere else, say Louisiana, or Chicago, or Paris?"

Tea watched the exchange between them, and it was decidedly unfriendly and suspiciously odd.  Her brother continued, "What's your point?  Can I have a word with you, brother?"

"Fine, go ahead."

"What I have to say you would want to hear in private."

"Oh no," Tea said, "anything you say to my husband, you say to me."

"All right.  In Llanview, a DNA test was run on the 'other Todd.'  He came up as a fake.  Let's just say, Blair's about to find out today."

Tea frowned, "Poor Blair."  Am I sorry for her, or for me?

"Mommy, look!!!"  Dani called from down the beach.  Tea went to her, having heard the revelation.

Tomas looked at his brother-in-law.  "I don't have a lot of time, so I'll say this once.  I changed the DNA test, so you're out of the hot water you got yourself into.  You can bring my sister and my niece back to civilization.  I only did this for my sister.  Only because I don't want her beautiful idyllic world as the woman Todd Manning chose to be destroyed by any illusions or realities."

"That's not why you did it."

"It is.  I want her to be happy.  She'd be shattered if she knew she wasn't married to Todd Manning.  She'd be destroyed to know you're an impostor who knew he was alive somewhere."

"And so did you.  You knew just as much as me.  In fact, aren't you the one who put him into the torture chamber for the last eight years?  No, this is all about Blair.  You were obsessed with her from the day you found her bloody wedding picture stuck in Manning's catatonic grip."

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