The End of Blame: Chapter 12

"McBain, can I talk to you?"


"Yeah, Manning, what's up?"  John was at the bar, called The Grottoe, and Todd, bringing Blair, Jack, Orinia with him back to Athens, had made sure the family got settled before trekking off to find the policeman.


"We've got Jack back, it was easy.  It was a girl, of course, just as we thought.  But it seems she has a special kind of situation.  I was going to ask if you don't mind staying on to help us research her family and see what's up?"


"Do you want to give me details now, or would you rather throw back a few?"  John said.


"Throw back a few, of course, just wanted to know if you were interested.  I can make it worth your while."


"You won't have to pay me for this."


"I meant it.  You're not going to work to help this family without compensation."


John said nothing, except, "Bartender?  A Scotch on the rocks for my friend, here."


Todd stopped himself at the word, "friend."  He looked at John, and John connected his line of vision with Todd's.  For a moment, their eyes scanned each others'; Todd looking for a motive or a reason, and John searching for understanding, though the latter was getting easier to grasp.  The drinks arrived, and Todd sipped his, saying, "Thanks."


"I'll be glad to stick around a bit longer.  Is this criminal?"  John said.


"Not that I can tell.  I just may need some access to stuff that I'm not able to get.  I have a feeling about this girl..."


"That she's not exactly who she claims to be?"


Todd swallowed a mouthful of Scotch.  "Exactly.  How did you know?"


"Just a hunch, I guess.  Well," he said, throwing a bill on the bar, "I'll catch you all tomorrow, then."


"That sounds good.  Uh, thanks, for, well, thanks."


"You're welcome.  Think you'll be able to rest better this evening?"  John asked.  Todd could sense genuine concern, not just morbid curiosity.


"Depends.  We'll see."


"Give yourself a break, Manning.  You've been through a lot more than I could handle."


As he walked off in his black outfit, Todd looked after him a moment, and repeated to himself, "friend."  Shaking his head at the man's choice of words, he downed the rest of his drink and headed upstairs.


Jack and Orinia were sitting out on Viki's balcony, after the latter had met the girl, and were chatting in the moonlight.  Viki stuck her head out the glass doors and said, "Kids, it's almost time to turn in.  You might want to call it a night."


"All right, Aunt Viki," Jack said.  Turning to Orinia, he said, "So you have to stay with these two old ladies and two little boys.  Are you sure that's ok?  I probably could convince my father to get you your own room."


"No, it's perfectly fine, Jahck.  I prefer it.  I will get to know them.  Always a good thing."


"Yeah, I guess it is."  He watched as she stood up in the moonlight and her hair blew back in the ocean breeze.


"It's lovely.  This is a beautiful place, Jahck, that your family has chosen."


"It's pretty cool, yeah."


"I suppose we should say goodnight then, until tomorrow."


"I suppose," he said, smiling.


"I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me," she said.


"It was nothing," he said.


"I have been waiting to thank you.  Thank you Jahck, and good night."  She stood, waiting for him to go, and he did, at her request.  He passed through the suite silently, Viki and Sister Rebecca Katherine both watching from the sofa.  Sam and Ray were already sleeping.  Jack left the suite and headed for his parents' room, where he was to spend the evening.


Viki said, "My goodness, seems Jack is definitely growing up."


"I'll say, my friend, he is doing just that."  Sister Rebecca Katherine added.


Soon after, Orinia moved into the room, and sitting on a chair across from the two ladies, said, "I would like you to know that I am appreciative of everything you all have already done for me."


The nun said, "We understand dear, and we've done very little.  It's Todd and Blair who have gone out on a limb for ya."


"Yes.  It is."


Viki said, "Do you find your room acceptable?"


"Yes, of course.  I just was....not really ready to be alone this evening.  I'd prefer to stay here with both of you until you turn in."


Both older women agreed, and then all three began to watch "The Golden Girls."


In the other room, Todd  had just returned, and he and Blair were on the balcony.  She was sitting behind him, massaging his shoulders, and he said, "You know where my head is."


"I do.  You're wondering what happened to that girl, aren't you?"


"She said that I'd understand.  That means her life can run from getting a puppy on her fifth birthday to . . . you know, the bad stuff."


"I know.  I thought of that.  Just as you did."


"I always skim over your childhood, Blair.  It was not a party, either."


"Let's not think of it, now.  Honestly, it's better put behind me.  Let's deal with yours.  Is that keeping you up nights?"


"Partly, yeah."  He didn't know how to tell her what he was fighting.


"You have to sleep, Todd.  You have to.  Do you remember what happened to you the last time you didn't sleep for days at a time?"


"Yeah, about a dozen paper towel holders later, I was in court."


She squeezed his shoulders, and he rotated his neck.  She said, "It's going to be all right.  She's had a terrible childhood, so have we both.  I know it's disturbing you, but it's part of life for some people, Todd.  You should be the first to know that."


"Maybe, but does Jack?"


"I think that is a valid question considering what he feels for her.  It's pretty obvious he's very drawn to her."


"We have a lot to do to support him right now.   He's going to need it."


"You see something?"  She asked.


"Yeah.  I see something....she's not...something about her is not one hundred percent genuine."


"I wondered about it.  She seems too good to be true.  Too sweet."  Blair said.  She was keen on people when it involved her children.


"Same thought here.  Give me time.  We could just take off, but it will make Jack all the more attached to her."


"Exactly.  For spite's sake."  She put her lips against his earlobe and said, "I trust you.  I know you'll take care of us."


He turned to her and kissed her, putting his hand over hers, as it was still resting on his shoulder where she was massaging.  Their fingers interlocked, and she said, "I have no doubt you'll figure this out and protect your son."


Jack, who had walked into the room earlier, was listening to the conversation from the inside sitting area.


Todd said, "He's more important to me than my own life."


"I know he is."


"I'd do anything for our kids, and for you.  You know that."


"Yes, I do.  So...will you do something for me?"


"All right, I'll do whatever I can."


"Can you get some rest?  Your eyes are so black, Todd.  It's showing.  You can't do your best work this way.  You have to have some sleep.  It's not good for you."


He looked at his hands, and then to her, "I'm...I know.  I'm just...I'm afraid, Blair."


She hugged him from behind, "I know you are, I am, too.  But you have to keep trying.  One of these days, you'll sleep through."


Jack brushed his hair back from his eyes and continued to listen in on his parents' conversation.  The more he did, the worse he felt.  He began to fear that his father was headed for a breakdown.  "One of these days," he heard his father say.  "What if I don't, and I wake you again, tonight?"


She got up, taking his hand, "Then you wake me again tonight."  She looked at his expression in the moonlight, and said, "Come on.  I'll be right there with you.  Nothing can happen to you, and you can get through it.  I promise you."  He seemed hesitant, doubtful.  He just stared up at her like a wounded child.  She put her hand under his chin and said, "Did you think about talking about the dreams?  Sometimes that helps."


He immediately reacted, "No.  Never.  I mean, they are different every night."  Something made him afraid to entertain the thought.


"I know.  But sometimes, if you..."


He got up frustrated.  "I can't."


"You've said a few things.  Why not just tell it all?  What if it helps?"


"I just can't, Blair.  It's too..."  He couldn't explain.  How could he say that he was battling inside himself.  It felt like he were trying to keep a door from opening in his mind.


She saw his distress.  "All right, no problem.  We will leave it as it is."


He said nothing, just took her hand as she held it out to him.  He went to follow her to bed, and they ran into Jack, who was stationed close to the doors.  It was obvious he was listening.  He said, "Uh, hi."


"Jack Manning!"  Blair said.


"Don't be too angry with him, Blair, he has a right to know what's going on with us, and what we think.  He's getting to be a man, now.  Right Jack?"


"Yeah, I guess," he stopped a moment, and then, "Dad?  Why can't you sleep?"


"I can, it's just not all that fun.  Staying up is better."


"Dad, be serious.  Did you start having nightmares again, because of me?"


"No, Jack.  It's not because of you.  They started again after Sommer died and Carlo was murdered.  At first, they were 'normal' enough.  I never even told your mother until recently, hoping they would fade.  They seem to have gotten increasingly worse.  It has nothing to do with you.  Something's . . . just there, that's all."


"Carlo's dead, Dad.  He can't hurt us.  You should just forget about him," the teen said, in his desperation to make all of it go away, he couldn't grasp that what Todd was dreaming about could not just be forgotten.


"I know, suck it up, right?  Get tough?"  Todd said, hearing Peter in his mind.


"I didn't mean that,"   Jack blushed in embarrassment.


"It's okay if you did.  I've said that to myself a lot of times.  I know what you mean.  I wish it were that easy.  But I don't want you to get disturbed by it, because they are just dreams.  It will be okay.  When we get home, I'm going to start seeing Ray again, more regularly."


Jack's face perked up.  "That's a good idea, Dad.  I miss Ray sometimes."


"I do, too."  Todd said, "And everything will get better."


Blair watched as Todd once again skillfully handled his child.  She said, "Well, bedtime, right?"


Todd said, "Yep.  But Jack, I just have to warn you, I might wake you.  I don't want you to be scared, I just want you to know that it could happen.  Your mom knows how to get me out of them.  If it happens, just stay put, don't bother trying to deal with me.  She can handle it.  She's an expert."  He said, turning toward her.  Jack admired the look on his father's face as he stared into Blair's eyes.  She tenderly put her hand on Todd's cheek and smiled at him.  The teen felt a mixture of embarrassment and awe.


Everyone turned in.  Jack had the sofa made-up bed that Sam had.  Todd had offered him a room of his own; Jack turned him down, saying he wanted to be with them, since they had been apart for a month.  Todd knew, in reality, his son wanted to be there in case he was needed.  Todd and Blair turned in, and after seeing Jack's breathing become sleepily regular, they whispered in the dark.  She said, "I love you, Mr. Manning."


"I love you, Mrs. Manning.  But you already know that."


"I do," she said, slipping her arms around him and snuggling close to his chest as they both lay on their sides.  "I am so grateful for it.  Just so glad...really glad."


He stroked her hair, and could tell she was getting groggy.  He said, "Listen, lady, you had better rest.  The baby will need you in a couple of hours."


"Yeah, thank God he's been pretty much sleeping through, though.  So much better now."


"Yep,"  he pulled her closer, and she felt him start to relax.


She said, "Nothing's going to hurt us.  Even if they're there in your dreams, it's not real."


He closed his eyes.  She customarily waited to feel him sink into rest before she rested.  Once she felt he was sleeping, she would give in to sleep herself.  It didn't change anything; some nights he would wake screaming, other nights he would sit up gasping.  Other nights, he would be out of the bed, acting out a terrifying scene, and still others, he would sleep soundly without interruption.  She faced the facts; the latter were becoming fewer and farther between.


A few hours passed, and the Mannings were all in slumber.  Blair and Todd were still facing each other, beathing almost in sync.  Jack was turned, his back to them, moonlight bathing his sleek, deep brown hair.  In the silence of the night, Blair was pulled awake by Todd's movements.  As she let her eyes adjust to the dark, and listened as her ears woke to sound, she heard him trying to catch his breath.


She immediately wrapped herself around him in the bed, and whispered, "What is it?"


"The baby.  God, he's . . . " realizing what he'd dreamed would frighten her, he said, "I know it's not real, but the last image in my head..." his throat caught.


"Shhhhh," she said, petting him, and whispering, "It's all right.  It's over, just a dream.   Put it out of your head, now.  Try."


She was whispering as quietly as possible, but saw Jack turn over.  He said to her, in the dark, "Mom, what's wrong?"


"It's your father.  Jack, go and get the baby.  Please."


He jumped up in a flash and went to the adjoining door, which had fortunately been left slightly open.  In a moment, he returned with Little Ray, who was still sleeping.  Blair marveled at how her son could lift the baby in such as way as not to wake him.  Jack, found himself sitting on their bed, with the baby in his arms, and handing it to his mother, who gently pulled away from Todd, and said, "Here.  See.  He's beautiful.  He's all right, and he's asleep."


Todd took one look at the baby's angelic face, sleeping in Blair's arms, and sobbed with relief.  Jack, feeling uncertain about watching his father in a moment such as this, but unable to look away, felt a lump in his throat as Todd took the baby from Blair, and put his strong hand on the back of Little Ray's head, cradling him with care.  After a few moments, Todd recovered, brushing water from under his eyes, and looked up to Jack, saying, "He looks just like you did, Jack.  You were a beautiful baby.  I used to hold you just like this..."


Jack felt tears spring to his eyes.  His father was really a 'badass.'  And though he had his badass moments, he was just a man, like anyone else, who had deeper feelings than he let on and larger pains.  Not fully understanding his father's tears, he went out to the balcony, and Blair turned her attention back to Todd.


"He's all right, see?  He's perfect, he's not even interrupted.  He's our little Moonbeam.  Jack's okay, too."


Todd pulled Blair to him as well, the baby slightly in between them, but miraculously, Little Ray still did not wake.  He found her hair with his free hand, and lost his fingers in it.  "I'm all right now, I'm sorry."


"Don't be sorry.  I'm going to take him back to his bed now."


"No, wait," he said, softly.  "Let me hold him for a little while longer?"


She nodded, and threw off the covers, bringing her mind to the next issue at hand:  Jack.


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