The End of Blame: Chapter 15

It was morning.  McBain woke up feeling more groggy than usual.   "Damn jet lag.  Hate it," he said aloud, and walking to the mirror, he said, "You look like crap."


He washed his face with cold water. Looking into the mirror, again, he checked out his beard.  "It's not that bad.  Who are you impressing?  That's it, no shaving today."


He got on the phone and said, "Hey, did you get that info for me, Brody?   Yep, I'll wait.  Uhuh.  Okay," he scribbled on a notepad.  "Really?  All right, thanks, Buddy.  Later."  He finished his note, and said aloud, "Manning, wait until you get a load of this."


He continued to ready himself for the day, and began to dress.  A black shirt, black jacket and black pants with black shoes.  Regardless of the heat, he dressed the same way.  He stopped for a moment remembering Todd calling him M.I.B. and smirked.  Manning's not so bad.  Well, I guess he is, if you really think about it.  Or he was.  Now, not so sure.  McBain, it's something you might never understand or resolve.  You like the guy, you don't like the guy, he's sick, he's a victim.  He looked in the mirror, "Make up your mind."


He pondered the man who was the human being called Todd Manning often.  John was not the type to have many friends, or buddies outside of work.  In fact, his social circle consisted of Natalie, Liam, Natalie's family and possibly as few acquaintances.  But something about this guy made him feel pity, admiration and sometimes a kindredness he could not place, even though he was certain they were not much alike.  Manning was a buck-the-system guy, John was a by-the-book fellow; Manning was an ex-con, John was the preverbial good-guy.


Still, things like the M.I.B. comment, and seeing the man cradle his child, tears streaming down his face, made him wonder how someone could be both a nemesis and a victimized heroic figure, but this was what John was starting to see him become, to him.  Both the ostensibly good and the very bad in one man.  He wondered, briefly, if this was why Blair was stuck to Todd forever and never seemed to be able to successfully move on from him or forget him.


It was clear to anyone who saw The Mannings that they were deeply in love.  Not the kind of love you see in a restaurant, with a married couple who look at everyone else in the room, or read something while eating together.  They had the kind of love that was written about in fairy tales: all-consuming, constant and fresh every day, as if they just fell.  It was written all over both of them, and most notably, in Todd's eyes, face and mannerisms.  When with Blair, or in the same room, he immediately took on a softer appearance.  Above all, he'd die for her or their children, and that had to be admired on some level.  In fact, he almost had died for them, and probably would again, if it was warranted.


"You're spending too much time thinking about Todd Manning," John said, aloud, and ironically called The Manning's hotel room.


"Todd, John.  Can you come down to my room, I have some things to share with you.  'K."


After hanging up, he gathered his notes and brushed his teeth.  Soon, Todd was at the door.  Hearing the knock, John spit the last of the toothpaste and opened the door.  "Hey."


"Hey,"  Todd said.


"Your girl turns out to be a legal adult.  Just wanted to tell you that first."


Todd's eyes became slivers.  "What?  She's just a kid."


"She's not.  She's almost twenty-one."


Todd said, "What the hell?"


"Whatever's behind that we'll have to explore later,"  John said, "But unless your son's engaged in sex with her, she's done nothing wrong but ask for his help."


"He didn't.  He and I talked about it.  He's not at that point, especially not with her.  He's more in awe of her than anything.  Not saying he doesn't want to.  He's just not there."


"All right.  Then here's the rest.  She's the granddaughter of a Greek wealthy man named Thaddeus Andracus.  He owns and runs several businesses, including an orphanage in Mylos.  The only other thing we could dig up on her past was her going to boarding school, out of Greece when she was about Jack's age.  Other than that, we have the info you already know.  Her father murdered her mother, with her looking on.  She was nine years old, as she told you."


Todd listened, then said, "Anything else?"


"Yeah, she was...she was severely abused by her father from the age of five until his incarceration."


Todd turned from John, and from the back, McBain saw Todd's fists tighten at his sides.  He said, "Manning, you all right?"


"Jack said I'd understand her."


"I'm sorry."


He wiped the sweat from his brow and said, "Now what?  Was the grandfather involved?  Is that why she ran away?"


"No, there's no real information on what may have caused their falling out.  I suppose you could try and get it from her, but I am not sure she would tell the truth.  If she has a reason for running, she'd lie to preserve it."


Todd wasn't sure what was best.  "You're sure that the grandfather was not the one hurting her?"


"You'd have to ask.  But according to reports, no.  Thaddeus Andracus is the father of Orinia's mother, the woman who was murdered.


Todd's eyes misted over.  "How did she die?"


John paused.  "He beat her to death with a tire iron, after forcing himself on her.  Seems the story goes, he was after Orinia, and the mother stepped in, and he turned on her, raped her and killed her."


Todd felt suddenly dizzy and gripped the chair for support.  John said, "Whoa, there, easy.  Why don't you sit down?"


Todd wasn't listening.  He could barely hear what was around him.  His ears were ringing; he felt disoriented, nausea striking his gut, and attempted to keep the contents of his stomach from making a second appearance.


John said, "Todd?  Sit down," and tried to help him into the chair.  He fell against it as if tired.  John went to the phone, "Blair, you had better come down here."  John watched Todd cover his eyes with his hand as he rested his head against his fingers.  He seemed to be propped up by his elbow but holding on by a thread.


Blair was there within what seemed to be seconds, and went to Todd in the chair and knelt before him.  "Todd?  What's wrong?"


He looked at her.  "I remembered something, Blair."


She immediately put her arms around his neck, and said, "It's all right.  You can tell me."


John made himself scarce by going into the hallway.  Standing out there alone, he thought about Blair needing to know what Todd had heard from him, and he knocked.  She said, "Hang on, my love, I'll be right back."


When Blair opened the door, she sank against the frame as he gave her the details.  "Oh my God," she said, "the poor girl." She covered her mouth, feeling as if she would be sick.  She looked back to Todd, who was slumped in the chair.  "John, I have to go, he needs me."


"Can I do anything?"


She thought back to Todd's own words.  No one is going to hurt me when McBain is there, he's a good guy. "Stay, John, would you?  Just hang back."


John did as she asked, locating himself near the entrance to the room, in a sitting chair.  He remained very quiet, and stoic, as Blair made her way back to Todd.


"What is it, Todd?  What did you remember?"


He looked at her with a stunned expression she didn't remember seeing often.  "My mother.  Bitsy.  It's bad, Blair."  He broke.


She stroked his hair.  "What about her?"


John was several steps ahead of Blair, and knew where Todd's conversation was headed.  He remained quiet, and listened from a distance.


"My mother, Bitsy, she was the sweetest woman.  I loved her, and he hated both of us.  I reminded him of her, and he hated it.  He wanted to punish both of us for being so close, for looking alike, for being alike.  And when hearing the girl's story, I . . .  I just remembered, Blair.  He raped her in front of me.  I must have been six or seven years old.  I didn't remember. . .until just now."


Blair could not think of a thing to say to him.  Instead, she brought him into her arms and comforted him the best she could.  John made his way into the hallway, to get air.  He was feeling stifled and sick from hearing Manning's realization, and didn't want to add to it.


After a few minutes, he heard Blair say, "I'm so sorry.  I know you loved her very much."


"Maybe that's why she left me, I don't know.  I never understood.  I never could really understand why she left.  He must have been hurting her for years.  He was violent; he was stronger than we were.  She just couldn't take it anymore."


"Yes, that's probably true."   She should never have left YOU with him, though.  "I am so sorry, Todd.  I don't know what else I can say to you, it's so horrible."


"I can't believe I never remembered this.  All of the sudden, McBain said those words, and I saw it all in front of me, like it was happening now.  Peter went to backhand me, and she screamed for him to stop."  His emotion began to take over.  "I tried to duck, but he hit me, and my tooth fell out.  I was bleeding, and she went toward him to fight him.  She clawed his face, with three scratches, like you see in the movies.  He touched it, and when he saw that she drew blood, he threw her against the wall, and she slid to the floor.  Then, he attacked her, and I was there, watching the whole thing."  

"Oh, God," Blair said.

"She kept telling me to go away, to run.  I was frozen.  I couldn't go.  I just stood there, not understanding what it was, but I do remember how it made me so angry and dark inside.  I can remember it clear as day, Blair."  He looked up at his wife, his eyes filled with water, sweat matting his brow.  "I guess I learned from the best."


"No, that's not true.  You've overcome all that.  You're lightyears away from it.  You have to stop."


"I never knew how to treat women.  Not until I met Sam Rappaport.  He taught me about that, somehow, but Peter was the worst role model for that and he was the one I wanted to please.  I learned everything wrong from him.  He taught me all the nastiest handiwork.  Coach was there, but that was later.  This makes me see....so much, Blair, about myself and why I've done what I've done.  It's in me.  Since I was a child. I've lived it and I've done it to someone else."

"Past tense, baby.  It's over.  You're not that man anymore."


"What if I am?  What if it's in me and I can't stop it?"


"Come on.  You know it's not.  You've defeated it by loving.  You know this."


He rubbed his hands over his face.  "You're right.  I have to stop this.  I'm a father, I'm  a husband..."


"Yes," she said, imploring him with her crystalline green eyes.  "You're a publisher, a great Dad.  Little Sam's best friend..."


"Oh God," he said, faltering.  He looked as though he might keel over.


"You're a hero.  You're a survivor.  You're a man.  You're a success story."  Both Todd and Blair turned, startled, toward the third voice speaking.  It was John, who was now standing, hands in jacket pockets.  "You're a comic, a businessman, an investigative reporter.  You're a brother to Viki, and a son to Sister Rebecca.  You're an uncle, a great uncle, a grandfather, a cousin, a role model to your kids, superhero, and what does Jack say?  A badass."  John stopped a moment to catch his breath.  "Yeah, you were a rapist.  But you're all these other things now.  Today.  Don't go back there, Manning.  It's not worth your time."


Todd broke down into his hand.  Blair held his other hand in hers, and he squeezed it tightly.  John somehow found himself resting one hand on Todd's shoulder, then turned and walked toward the door.  


They heard McBain say, "Get yourself together, Manning.  We've got a case to solve.  We're taking that girl back to her grandfather to try and see what we can do.  Then, we have our lives to get back to in Llanview.  I'll be in the lobby," and he was gone.


After a while, Todd finally put himself right, and sat up, and Blair brought him a towel to freshen his face.  He said, "What was that about?"


"He sees the truth, that's all.  You had very good reason for all this."


"That girl.  Blair.  That poor girl..." he paused, then distant, "My mother.  Momma."


"I know.  I'm sorry.  We can still help Orinia, and we will.  Whatever it is."


He stood up.  "I have to go."


She did not try and stop him.  He was steady; he seemed ready to involve himself in helping Orinia, and the pain had momentarily passed.  She watched him fix his hair a bit, and blow his nose.  She said, "I know you'll do the right thing."


He leaned toward her and kissed her mouth, and when he pulled back, he said, "You're my everything.  You know that."


"My strong amazing man.  Love you so much," her voice cracked.  In his customary way, he traced the hair along her face with his index finger, and left her in the room.


She waited until he was gone, and broke down, sobbing into her own elbow.  It felt as if her whole insides might pour out in her tears.  Without warning, she heard a rapping at the door.  She became startled and sat up.  The door had been left ajar, and she saw Sister Rebecca Katherine.  "John called me, dear."


"Oh, Sister," she cried, and the nun came to her side and held her.

"There, there, Bridgette.  It's going to be all right.  Do ya want to tell me?  Talk about it?"


"It's Todd.  He just remembered . . . that he saw Peter Manning rape his mother," she said between gasps.


The nun closed her eyes, and crossed herself, and putting her arms back around Blair, she said a prayer aloud.  Then, she said, "Now, ya must stop crying.  You can't let him think that his life is too terrible to recover from.  You must be strong, so that he will."


Blair knew the nun was right.  She attempted to gather herself, and said, "Sister, Orinia....she..."


"I know, dear.  I know, and I am very sorry for her as well."


Blair nodded.  "How can I help him?  Every time I think of it, him, as a little boy, and seeing that..."


"No, dear heart, you mustn't see that.  You must see today, and only today.  You must tell him to do the same, or it will consume him."


Again, she realized the woman was right.  She stopped her tears.  "Such wisdom.  You're a very wise woman."


"I might get wise once in a while, but I'm just a simple Daughter of God.  And so are you. And Todd is a child of God as well.  He will recover and he will prevail, dear."


"How do you know, Sister?"


"The greatest of these is love, my dear.  And Todd Manning is loved."


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Your comments are 'payment' for the work of the authors. Our writers like to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment when you read.