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Thursday, September 27, 2012

The End of Blame: Chapter 20 (some adult)


Blair was sitting in the waiting area at the airport and got the taste for a latte.  She took her things and went to seek out a coffee shop, and finding one, she sat down with a book and a cup.  "They'll be here soon," she thought.  Finishing a chapter, she decided to relish the bustle around her and the ability to become no one in the crowds and sip her latte and people watch.  A man carting a large briefcase.  A woman with two children on 'leashes.'  A couple, so entranced in each other they could barely walk.  An elderly woman dropping her cane, and stopping to use her foot to pick it up.  For a moment, she thought she spotted someone familiar, by the restroom door.  "Orinia?"  she said to herself.  "Can it be?"


She planned to follow Orinia, and then also realized she shouldn't risk losing her if it was her, so she dumped her latte and headed to the ladies' room.  She made no sound when entering.  She could see three pair of feet under the stall doors.  As she waited, she texted Todd quickly what her suspicions were.  She waited quietly.  A young woman opened the door, but it was not her.  Finally, after a few minutes, another stall opened, and Blair was face to face another young Greek woman who looked similar but was not Orinia at all.  "I must have been imagining things," she said to herself, and texted Todd,


False alarm.


After a few minutes, she made her way back to the courtyard area, to purchase another latte, when she got a text from Todd.  


Some kind of false.  She's missing.


With that, Blair became slightly alarmed.  "Maybe I did see her."  She decided to forget the latte, move toward the private jet hangar and wait there.  Sure enough, as she entered that waiting area, she saw someone slumped in one of the plastic connected chairs, and a hat pulled down over her face.  She texted Todd again. 


Have her right now.  The private gate.


She approached the young woman quietly and pulled off her hat.  "Orinia!"


The girl just looked up at her, and smiled.  "Yes, Mrs. Mahnning.  I was able to get away.  I am going to America, on your jet with you."


Blair thought quickly.  "You are?  You mean you finally got away?"


"Yes.  It was difficult under grandfather's watchful eye, but I managed,  Today, after breakfast.  No one was the wiser."


"That's quite an accomplishment.  Where are you off to?"


"The states.  I am going to stow away on your jet.  This way, I can get to the states and start my search for my son."


Blair sat beside her.  Wishing she could text to Todd again, she held off.  "You know, Mr. Manning and I have lost two children."


"Yes, I know.  I am so sorry for that.  Jahck told me."


'When Sommer died, she died inside me.  I felt her die.  She was shot."


The girl's face twisted with emotion.  "That is horrible.  I am sorry."


"I knew she was dying.  It was the worst feeling I've ever had.  And you'll never guess what I did?"


"What?"  The girl was wide-eyed, listening.


"I was certain she was alive.  I blamed Todd for stealing her from me, and from letting people cut her out of me and take her away.  I blamed him, and it was cruel, because he was so sad losing her, too."


The girl's fingers began to pick at the bag she was carrying, unraveling some of the wicker edging.  "You thought she had been taken, and that she was still alive?"


"Yes.  I was sure of it.  I screamed, I carried on.  I blamed Todd, I said terrible things to him.  He was suffering so much.  And there I was, putting the blame onto him.  It's strange how the mind plays tricks on us."


"He forgave you."


"He did, I am lucky.  But Sommer was dead, I just wanted her to be alive so much, that I made it that way," she touched the girl's temple, "in my head.  In here."  Orinia became very quiet.  Blair continued, "No matter what anyone said, I wouldn't listen.  I kept believing that she was alive, until a very close friend of mine told me that I had to let go.  Sommer was dead.  No one was lying to me, no one took her, and Todd would never hurt me, because he loves me.  Like your grandfather.  He wouldn't hurt you.  He loves you."


The girl was silent, her arms folded over her chest, and tears were streaming down both sides of her face.  Blair said, "You know your baby is not alive, don't you?  He died.  Just like my daughter, Sommer.  He's dead.  You saw him buried.  You made them open his casket.  He's not alive.  No one lied to you, except yourself."


"No, you're wrong." Orinia said.


"No, I'm not wrong.  You saw that little baby, dead.  Did he have a name?"


She wiped her tears, frustrated, "Yes.  His name was Adrian.  He was the most important thing to me.  He was all I had."


"I understand.  I had other children, but Sommer was the most important thing to me then.  You know somewhere in here," she pointed to Orinia's heart, "that Adrian's gone.  Up here," she pointed to her head, "wants to convince you he's alive.  So you don't have to face the pain of losing him and the emptiness of his death.  But your heart knows.  If you'll only listen.  Can you listen to your heart?"


Orinia did not answer.  Blair went on again, "You know, it's sad we cannot have other children."  The girl turned her head and looked at her.  "But, did you know that Sam was adopted?  He's not my birth son, or Todd's.  He's ours though, in so many ways.  We love him dearly.  He's as important to us as our biological children are.  And you have first hand knowledge of what those adoptions can do for babies.  Look at all of those in the orphanage without parents to care for them.  There are babies everywhere, waiting for someone to love them.  What about the baby's father?  How does he feel about all of this?"


"He's not involved.  He was an older boy, he didn't care for me, and I didn't either, for him.  I just wanted Adrian."  Blair was stuck on the words the girl just said to her, but continued to try and deal with the present as the young woman said, "I will not give up.  Adrian is out there.  I heard him cry,"  she began rocking.


"No, you didn't.  I heard Sommer cry, as well, or thought I did.  It wasn't real.  I almost lost my husband, the man who loves me most of all, because I was too sick and sad to face this.  It took a while, but we faced it together.  You have your grandfather to help you piece things back together."


"No, no.  He's not dead, he's not,"  she rocked more quickly.  "You're a liar, you're just like him."  She began to shake, all over.  Her tremors were visible to the eye.  "Everyone wants to lie to me.  Why does everyone lie to me?  I'm going on that plane with you.  I'm going to the US.  I am going to find him, and no one can stop me!!"  Blair let silence fall between them for a moment.


"You know, you're right.  You can go to the US.  If you don't go with us, you can find another way.  But you'll find out when you get to the states that there's no Adrian there, either.  You can search for him high and low and you'll never find him.  He's in the ground, behind your grandfather's orphanage.  And he's in your heart, where he will always be."


She looked at Blair and made eye contact at last.  "No.  No, Mrs. Mahnning.  I want my baby.  I want Adrian."


"I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry," Blair said and went to hold her, when she pushed Blair away with great force, and began screaming and yelling.  She ran from Blair, as if to leave the terminal, and raced directly into John, Todd and the doctor they had brought from the orphanage.  John grabbed her arms to steady her, and the doctor injected her with a sedative.


Todd went to Blair, immediately, and put his arms around her.  "Are you okay, Babe?"


"Yes, I'm okay.  Todd, she's so sick.  She's so..."


"Shh, I know.  It's all right.  She'll get help, now."  He rubbed her shoulders.  "You did great."


"How come I don't feel so great?" she said, sniffling.


"Come on.  You kept her here long enough.  Good thing the airport is pretty close to Pollonia."


She looked to her hands.  "Todd, it's a mess.  She was pregnant because she just had nothing.  In her mind, she had no one."


"It's all right, Blair."


"My God..."


Just then, the gate opened and out ambled Sister Rebecca Katherine, Jack, Sam and Ray (in his carrier).  The nun said, "You can't!"


Jack said, "Oh yes I can."


"Can't" she said.


"Can!"


"Oh quit while you're ahead, Lad.  There's your mother and father!"


The kids ran to Todd and Blair, and Orinia, having passed out from the injection had just been carried off to an ambulance waiting outside the airport.  Over Jack's shoulder during an embrace, Todd watched her go, and hoped she would get the help she needed.


Tracing where his eyes went, Blair touched his cheek.  She said, "I know."


Sam said, "Mom, guess what?  Jack challenged Sister Rebecca Katherine to an eating contest.  Hot dogs."


"My goodness, what in the world would make him do that?"  Blair asked.


"I was just telling the lad how many hot dogs I can eat when I am good and hungry, and he insists he can eat more than I can.  Rubbish!"  the nun bellowed.


"Can, too!"


"Can't, you whippersnapper."


Todd said, "Okay, hold this down to a roar, will you all?  Let's go to the hotel, and get hotdogs for dinner and see."


"Put your money where your mouth is, Garmhac!"  Sister Rebecca Katherine said, saluting. 


"What the heck is that?"  Jack said.


"Grandson, what else?"  she answered.


Jack rolled his eyes, and took Ray's carrier from her.  The family proceeded to the limo that Todd had waiting to transport them to Melian.


In the car, Todd filled Blair in on the things that Thaddeus was able to reveal to them.  There was a baby, with no known parents on record, delivered to the orphanage near the date of Zeus's birth.  Thaddeus and his family were not the owners at that time, but the closest thing he could recommend was a woman who worked there for over 40 years, who was recently retired and still lived in the area.  Thaddeus was able to tell them that she was there, at the time of the drop off of this "American baby boy," and gave John and Todd her whereabouts.  The plan was to go and see her the next day and try and piece together something about Zeus.  John would have his team send a photo of Zeus Zelenko, from the 90s, and try and de-age it, to show how a child may have appeared.  Since he was at the orphanage until he was eighteen, John suspected that the most recent photo of him with his original face could give someone an idea of his appearance.  Of course, his appearance today was nothing like his natural one, which posed a strange situation.  They planned to return to Pollonia anyway, and seek out Agathangelos Metaxas and see what information she could provide.


***
John held the cell phone to his head while lying on the bed in his hotel room, at last.  He said, "I miss you.  I miss Liam.  I have to stay, though, just a while longer."


He listened to her voice, imagined her beautiful, red long hair, and her smile.  He said, "Manning's losing it, I want to be here for Blair. . .All right, and him, I guess.  There's also this case, might tie something in to Zeus' story.  We're investigating that."  He closed his eyes.  "I wish I was telling you I'm coming home . . . it's just not the right time for that. . .I'll talk to you tomorrow. . . Kiss Liam for me . . . I love you."  He hung up, and put his cell phone back onto the nightstand.  He pulled out some paperwork and began to read, when he realized his eyes were getting heavy.  He closed them, but he could only think of one thing:  Manning and his moment remembering the abuse of his mother.


No matter what John tried to do to get the image out of his head, he couldn't.  Could something like that damage the psyche of someone so much that they might not intend the harm they do?  Manning was a puzzle that he could not solve, and this frustrated him.  Being the detective he was, he was able to piece things together easily and had had a great deal of practice.  But Manning was truly a mystery, and one he could not easily grasp.  Once more, he reminded himself of Manning's past crimes, and once more he reminded himself that he liked the guy.  Maybe learning all he had about him, first hand was a way to end the blame?  He wasn't positive he could ever get past the criminal offenses, but he was certain of one thing; the guy had paid.  He would make it his business that no one in Llanview continued to make him pay for the crimes he had paid in full for.  That was the least he could do.


***
Blair rested on Todd's chest in the hot tub atop the hotel roof.  His breathing was just coming down from their lovemaking, and his heart was still racing a bit as she listened to it, encased in his beautiful flesh and skin.  She ran her hand over his stomach and around him.  He looked down at her, just opening his eyes.  "Hey."


"Hey," she said.  "You haven't lost your touch."


He laughed, "Why, were you expecting I would?"


"No.  You're still King of the Hot Tub Sex."


"As long as I'm King of something that has to do with you, I'm fine."


"Turn up the jets, and make it a little hotter."


He did as she asked, since his long arms could easily reach the controls.  She changed her position and straddled him again, and looked into his face.  "Let's buy a company.  I feel like getting mean,"  she said, matter-of-factly.


"Buy a company?"


"Yeah, like the old days, you and me against the world, remember?"


His voice went soft.  "How can I forget?  The best time of my life.  Still."


"That's why we need to do it again, you know, get back those great times.  Get ourselves into something challenging."


"Like raising these kids isn't challenge enough."  He smiled, "But if that's what you want.  Got a company in mind?"


"I've heard of a few.  That Crimson, in New York, that one sounds like a good one.  Not too far from Llanview either."


"I'll look into it.  You're something, Mrs. Manning."


"And you are too, Mr. Manning,"  she kissed him.  He ran his hands over her back and she said, "Round two?"


"Whatever you want, Babe," and he swung her around in the water, which made her throw her head back and laugh.  He said, "On top of the world."


She said, "Quite literally, up here."


"You're my world, anyway."


"And you're mine."  She moved her legs around him until they wrapped his waist.  She crossed them behind him, and pulled herself closer.  She was slightly above him, and she looked down into his hazel eyes and said, "All mine.  I wouldn't have it any other way."


With one shift and a little lift of her in his arms, he slid into her again, and closed his eyes as she moved slowly up and down.  He said, softly, "I know I keep telling you to leave me, but don't."


"I'm not," she said, picking up speed.   He helped her along by lifting her up and down as she did her own movements using his shoulders as leverage.  "I won't."  Without warning, she pushed herself faster and faster onto him, until she heard him cry out in pleasure and shake, pulling her closer and kissing her breasts.


She kissed the top of his head and forehead, and as he lowered her off him, she stood on her feet in the center of the tub, looking up to him.  She said, "I want to make you happy."


"Too late."


"I mean really happy.  I want to make you forget everything."


"You do, even if it's just for a while."


"No.  That's not good enough.  You have to get to the point where all of this pain and horror is behind you.  And I'm just the one to do it.  I know what the secret weapon is."


He laughed slightly, and then said, "Okay."  Inside, he was not convinced that even she could do such a momentous thing.  "What's the secret weapon?  Sex in a hot tub?"


"No, silly.  That's a strategy.  The weapon is standing right here.  It's you.  You're the key to all this terror and sickness being gone.  You."


"So you've said, before."


"I have.  And until you believe me, it won't go away.  So it's my job to convince you.  Don't you see?  You deserve love, Todd."


"You've been saying that since Starr was a baby.  Maybe before."


"You deserve love, and you deserve forgiveness from yourself," he began to say something and she stopped him, putting her fingers to his mouth, "You stand in your own way.  Always have.  Now don't say anything, just love me, and love us."  She kissed him again.


"Not sure I can do round three."


She playfully slapped his arm, "Let's get out and sit by the water and watch the moon."


"Yeah," he said, "Let's."


She said, "Let's get something to drink, you know, take the edge off."


"There's an edge?"


"You know what I mean."


For the rest of the evening, they sat, together on one lounge chair, looking at the ocean and the moon, drifting in and out of waking, making love and holding each other, until they fell into the dark of sleep.


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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